


Recipe For Disaster

by Librarybelle



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:25:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 111,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Librarybelle/pseuds/Librarybelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michelin Star Chef Killian Jones is surprised when he see Social worker Emma Swan eating alone in his restaurant. After a short meal together he is hooked, only problem is she's dating his sous chef! CS Modern AU!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“So what’s the surprise? Where are we going for dinner?” Emma shouted over the noise of all the city traffic, her golden curls bouncing down her back as she ran down the street being pulled along by her boyfriend Walsh.  It was a rainy night in New York City and Walsh had refused to get a cab so they’d been hurriedly jogging along three blocks already. She had been excited about their anniversary celebration but now she could feel her hair beginning to frizz and her make up running, not to mention her aching feet from running in her killer heels she was getting less excited and more frustrated with Walsh who was far too cheap to call a cab.

“We’re almost there babe! Just one more block, now keep up or we’ll be late.”

“Late? I’m sure they’ll hold the table for 5 minutes…”  ‘ _This better be worth it!’_ she thought to herself.

They finally turned the last corner to reveal SoHo’s hottest restaurant, ‘The Jolly Roger’ a three Michelin star restaurant that shot to fame for its menu that offered “the full pirate experience” , renowned for its excellent cuisine and unique dining experience It was _the_ sought after place for the rich and famous. Most people had to wait months to get a reservation. Emma should have been happy and she would have been were it not also Walsh’s place of employment. He was the Sous Chef, Emma rolled her eyes, and of course he’d take her somewhere where he didn’t have to pay! At least it was a really fancy place and she’d never been here before, she tried to push Walsh’s cheapness to the side and made the decision just to enjoy the experience and celebrating their milestone! They walked up to the front of the queue of people waiting outside and straight in through the front door. A petite blonde stood at the front desk shaking her head at Walsh as they walked past. “You’re late Walsh; the Captain’s not going to be happy!”

“Give it a rest Tink!” He rolled his eyes at her and led a confused Emma to a small table in the corner…set for one. “Ok babe this is you for tonight.”

The realisation suddenly hit her, his appearance, she’d been a little miffed that she’d put so much effort into her outfit tonight and he showed up in sneakers, ripped jeans, and a hoodie over a white t-shirt, his hurry not to be late and his co-worker scolding his tardiness…Walsh was working tonight. Her shoulders dropped, he must have forgotten their anniversary, forgotten to get time off and thought this would make it up to her, a run down four blocks and a free meal, alone.  “Are you serious?” She was past angry, just devastated.

“So I couldn’t get time off work, my boss is a real slave driver, remember I told you he makes us call him ‘Captain’ instead of ‘Chef’! I thought this could be fun, you always complain that I never cook for you, well tonight I will and you can dine in one of New York’s finest restaurants, people would give an arm and a leg to be in your shoes right now!”

“I doubt they’d want to be in my shoes if they had to run four blocks!” she muttered under her breath.

“Just have a seat and enjoy yourself, then when I finish my shift we can go home and you can give me that backrub you owe me!”

Emma glared at him. “How long is your shift?”

“Just 5 hours tonight! You’re lucky I’m not doing my usual 8 hour shift!”  With that he gave her a kiss on the cheek and a slap on the ass and ran into the kitchen. 

Emma stood there in disbelief, “Unbelievable” she whispered to herself. Although she didn’t know why she was surprised, this was classic Walsh, she just thought that he’d perhaps make an effort for their anniversary, a year in a relationship was a big deal for her.  She didn’t find it easy to let people in but when Walsh came into her life he seemed like a nice guy and she had promised herself she would make an effort to open her heart again. Things were good between them, uncomplicated and relaxed. He wasn’t exactly Casanova but she didn’t consider herself an overly romantic person either so she thought they were a good fit. She slumped into her chair, and kicked off her shoes, if she was going to be here all evening she might as well get comfortable and the long tablecloths hid her feet anyway. She rubbed her sore heels while she took a moment to admire her surroundings.  The room was dark with wood panel walls and wooden floors giving the illusion of being on a ship, the tables each had a simple candle burning, its wax slowly dripping down over the old rum bottles that held them. On the far side of the dining room there were steps that led up to some decking that mimicked front of a ship, the wooden helm standing proudly with a door behind it, presumably leading to an office of some sort. The lighting was a series of low hanging bulbs intertwined in thick hanging rope and she could have sworn there was the scent of salty sea air when she breathed in. There was definitely an air of magic to the place; Emma smiled, she was beginning to see what the fuss was all about.  The blonde who she’d briefly seen at the front door approached her table and sighed, “Did he not even take your jacket for you? Here, allow me!” She helped Emma out of her leather jacket.

“Really it’s ok, don’t make a fuss over me, I don’t even think I’m a paying guest!” Emma insisted.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re eating here so you are getting the full experience and that includes exemplary service!” The girl flashed Emma a smile, “My name is Tink, you’re server tonight will be Wendy, she’ll be here with the wine list shortly.”

Emma raised her eyebrow, “Tink, Wendy…at The Jolly Roger…”

“A complete coincidence, though I wouldn’t be surprised if it worked in our favour getting the job, the Captain is a big Peter Pan fan.”

“Captain…you mean like Captain Hook?”

Tink laughed, “He hasn’t gone that far yet, though I wouldn’t be surprised! No he’s Killian, Killian Jones; he’s the head chef and owns the restaurant.”

 

*

 

The kitchen was a hive of activity, as they were well into the dinner service. “We need two lobsters, three steaks, all medium rare, and six seafood linguini dishes stat!” Killian shouted followed by a chorus of “Yes Captain” he checked the food coming up to the pass making sure that it was up to his high standard before nodding to the waitresses for them to take them to the diners, “Ok lads four more lobster dishes, a rare steak and three monkfish risottos!” Again his crew replied with a “Yes Captain” after a quick glance around the kitchen, Killian turned his attention to the diners, he peered out through the porthole window into the dining room, the place was buzzing but thanks to his waiters and waitresses the customers seemed to be happy. Wine and water glasses were being topped up, tables were being cleared in record speed and filled up with a new batch of customers, and everything was ship shape. As he scanned the room his eyes fell on a lone diner, an attractive blonde tucked into the corner, come to think of it Killian was sure that wasn’t a regular table, she was crammed in next to the coat rack and the entrance to the restrooms, he watched her eat alone, occasionally having to shuffle her seat in to allow people past her. No, this would not do! He swung the door open and made a be- line to Tink.

“Hello Captain what can I do for you?” She asked cheerfully.

“Who’s the blonde dining by herself and why is she sitting at a makeshift table?”

Tink looked over her shoulder to where he was pointing, “Oh that’s Walsh’s girlfriend.”

“That’s Emma?” Killian said in disbelief, Walsh had mentioned his girlfriend a couple times but the girl sitting in his restaurant was not how he imagined the boring clingy but ‘good lay’ that Walsh had crudely described. “How the hell did Walsh get a girlfriend who looks like that?!”

Tink chuckled, “No idea, Captain, she seems really nice too, didn’t want any fuss made over her, I get the impression she wasn’t expecting Walsh to be working tonight.”

“Thank’s Tink, You’re doing a great job by the way, keep it up!”

“Aye aye Captain!”

Killian headed back to the kitchen and marched up to Walsh.

“Care to explain why your girlfriend is squished in the corner of my restaurant?”

Walsh shuffled on his feet, “Well you see, Captain, it’s our one year anniversary so I wanted to treat her and there is no better place in town…”

“Bloody hell Walsh, it’s your anniversary? Why didn’t you mention it before, I would have given you the night off!”

“Erm…well I kind of forgot until tonight…”

“Here, you get out there and take my table and I’ll cover for you, I’m supposed to be off tonight anyway!” Killian offered.

“And not get paid? No way! She’s fine, she is in the best restaurant in New York City and she gets to go home with me at the end of the night, she has nothing to complain about! Besides I’m all messy from cooking anyway.” Walsh shrugged him off.

Killian combed his fingers through his hair trying to decide what to do. “un-bloody-believable” he muttered under his breath as he swung the door open again and got Wendy’s attention. “Love, I’m going to move Miss Swan up to my table, she can finish her meal there, just bring me whatever she is having, it doesn’t matter how far down the menu she’s gotten.” Wendy nodded and continued to the table she was dealing with at the time while Killian took a deep breath and walked towards Emma’s table.

“Excuse me Miss Swan” He gave her his most charming smile. “I’m going to move you to another table if that’s alright with you.”

Emma jumped up. “Oh yeah, of course, I’m so sorry, I know I’m in everyone’s way here…I tried moving my seat in but…” She was clumsily trying to put her shoes back on and pick up her purse.

“No, I think you misunderstand, the fault is ours, you see, I hear it’s your anniversary and you’re first time dining at our establishment; you deserve the full experience with bells and whistles, I’ll not have you sitting alone in the corner like Cinderella.  Now Walsh is occupied but I need to eat too so I wondered if you’d like to join me at my table.”  He reached out his arm for her to take.

Emma stood there dazed for a moment lost in his blue eyes, they were filled with kindness, not at all what she expected from the descriptions Walsh had given her of his ‘slave driver ‘boss. In fact according to Walsh it was his fault she was dining alone in the first place since he refused to give Walsh the night off. “I don’t know…” She began.

“Come on, love, we both need to eat and nobody likes eating alone.” He raised his eyebrows and smiled encouragingly.  Emma sighed and nodded her head taking his arm and letting him escort her up on the higher deck by the helm where there was a single table big enough to sit six; it had two place settings tonight. “Please allow me” He said as he pulled out her chair for her.

“Thank you” She muttered, feeling flushed when she saw eyes across the restaurant looking her way. Apparently sitting at ‘the Captain’s’ table was a big deal. “I really don’t want to be any trouble. Are you sure you don’t want to use your table for paying customers, not some staff family free loader. “

“Staff only eat for free when they are working, they don’t get family or friends meals for free.” He said matter-of-factly.

Emma’s jaw dropped to the floor, Walsh didn’t tell her she’d have to pay for dinner tonight, what must this place cost? There were no prices on the set menu, she wasn’t even sure she had her credit card in her purse.

Killian saw the panicked expression on her face and put two and two together, _‘bastard!’_ he thought to himself. He cleared his throat. “Of course, since it’s your anniversary I told Walsh your meal was on us tonight!” He lied.

Emma narrowed her eyes, “You know I have this skill, a super power if you like where I can always tell if someone is lying to me and that, Mr. Jones, was an outright lie!”

“Well not really, your meal is on us, I just haven’t told him yet…and please, call me Killian!” He winked at her.

“If you’re so generous why didn’t you let Walsh have the night off when he asked you?” She challenged him.

Now it was Killian’s turn to look shocked. “Is that what he told you? I just found out it was his anniversary about 10 minutes ago, I even offered to cover his shift and give you guys my table but he refused!” He instantly regretted saying the last part when he saw Emma’s face drop. She was staring at her lap, wringing her hands together. He felt terrible for her. “Bastard!” He said out loud this time. Emma’s cheeks flared red and she chewed her bottom lip, she’d never felt more embarrassed, she wished with every fibre of her body that the ground would swallow her up.  But it didn’t, she was still there sitting across from the insanely attractive Killian Jones who now knew her boyfriend would rather do a shift at work then spend their anniversary together. She fought back the tears stinging the corner of her eyes. Killian decided to change the subject, this woman did not deserve the rat that Walsh was and he was determined to make her night a good one.  “Look, Walsh is a fool if he can’t see how lucky he is to have you. If he would rather sweat in a hot kitchen, let him! I take it as my personal mission tonight to make sure you have a wonderful evening. What course are you on?”

“I’ve only had the first course” Emma answered, relieved at the change in direction.

“OK, well you are in for a treat, the second course if my favourite part of the meal, it’s a squid dish I created last month after a short time in the Caribbean.”

Emma looked wistfull, “Do you travel a lot?” She asked.

He smiled, “Yeah perks of the job, I’m always traveling picking up new techniques, discovering new ingredient combinations, I have to keep ahead of the game, and it’s a lot of pressure maintaining the Michelin stars! Do you travel much?”

Emma shrugged. “I’ve always wanted to but you know…money…I’m working two jobs at the moment to try and pay off my student debt, and then when you add rent and all the other bills on top of that…well…travel is really out of the question! Hopefully one day I’ll put my passport to use!”

Her answer confused him, Walsh was on a really high salary, he didn’t want to pry but he couldn’t understand why Emma would have to work two jobs. “What is it that you do?” He asked curiously.

“I am a social worker; I work mainly with kids who are in the system, helping them find homes. And then in the evenings and weekends I work at a coffee shop, just around the corner actually, ‘Gold’s’”

“I know the one!” Killian added, then after a thoughtful moment said.  “That’s really admirable what you do, helping those kids! It must be really rewarding doing a job that makes a difference in someone’s life.”

“I grew up in the system, so I know a little bit about how they feel; anyway, it’s hardly as glamourous as being a big shot Chef!” She teased.

“Oh I dunno, all I do is feed the rich and famous, it’s hardly noble or changing anyone’s life!” He scratched behind his ear.

“Well I’m not rich or famous and you are making a particularly crappy night more than bearable!”

They smiled at each other for what seemed like too long to be appropriate for Emma, so she downed her water awkwardly.  In no time Wendy was at their table with a pitcher to top up their drinks, Killian slid his cup towards her and Emma saw it, his left hand was a prosthetic. He caught her staring and once Wendy set down their next course he figured it was better to just get it out in the open. “I lost my hand in a car accident 15 years ago, it took a while to get used to it but ultimately losing my hand was what set me on my path learning cookery so I guess maybe it wasn’t as bad as I first thought.” His eyes didn’t match the optimism of his words; there was darkness in them as if he was remembering something else.  Emma didn’t want to pry, already feeling embarrassed about staring. 

They continued their meal followed by a few cocktails and just as the dining hall was beginning to empty and the alcohol was making Emma feel more comfortable she asked. “So why Peter Pan?”

Killian laughed, “It was my favourite book as a kid, my older brother used to read it to me, then when I lost my hand, I dunno, it just seemed like a sign. I always liked Captain Hook…Peter struck me as somewhat annoying...”

“Yeah I can see that…” Emma said thoughtfully. “So you have Wendy and Tink…any other employees with names from the book?”

He laughed, “No, I don’t believe so!”

Emma thought for a moment then leaned forward until there were mere inches between them.  “You know, Tiger lily was always my favourite character, she’s feisty, brave and loyal, and absolutely the most underrated character in that story!”

“Tiger Lily” He looked thoughtful then raised his glass. “I’ll drink to that!”

 

*

 

The time flew by and before Emma knew it she felt Walsh’s grip on her shoulder. “Hey babe, how was your meal?”

“Great actually!” Emma beamed at Killian who, after a few too many drinks, was giving her a look that made her toes curl.  She bit her bottom lip watching his tongue dart out and run along his.  Walsh was completely oblivious to the chemistry bouncing between the two of them. 

“That’s great babe, ok let’s go, these tired muscles aren’t going to massage themselves.”

Emma stood up and he squeezed her ass possessively making Killian’s jaw clench. She grimaced and then wriggled free walking over to collect her jacket from the coat rack and leave with Walsh, she turned to look back at Killian and smiled mouthing ‘Thank you’.  He gave her a half smile and a little wave. He watched them leave and ran his fingers through his hair again and muttered. “You’re screwed Jones!”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Emma and Walsh pushed their way through a crowd of young girls who had congregated outside the restaurant.  Walsh was smiling at them, flirtatiously raising his eyebrow and saying “Hey there, how you doing?” as they squeezed past; mostly being ignored.  Emma rolled her eyes and apologised trying not to step on any feet or elbow anyone. 

“What the hell is that about?” She asked as soon as they had freed themselves from the crowd.

“I told you babe, chefs are sexy as hell; you can’t blame them for lining up to catch a glimpse of us.  Just think how lucky you are that you get to go home and have your wicked way with me!” He winked at her and wrapped his arm around her waist.  They’d only walked a few feet when the roar of screams and excited chatter hit their ears.  Emma spun around to see Killian standing there taking selfies and signing autographs as he tried to make his way around everyone.

“Are you serious?  They are acting like he is some sort of rock star!” She said in disbelief, and with a pang of jealousy, watching the man she’d just spent her evening with surrounded by fan girls.

Walsh shrugged. “Well technically he is, or at least was.  He was the lead guitarist in some rock band…what were they called again…oh yeah the Lost Boys!”

“I remember them! I had a couple of their albums; I always wondered what happened to them!”

“Basically after a car crash he lost his hand and couldn’t play anymore.  The band carried on for a little while but it wasn’t the same without him and it eventually fizzled out.  The manager, who I think he was dating at the time, died in the crash.”

“Oh my god!” Emma looked back at Killian; that explained the sadness she saw in his eyes earlier that night.

Walsh took her hand and started pulling her away again.  “It was a long time ago, anyway, he’s always had a fan following and now the restaurant is so popular it’s grown.  Rumour is he’s in talks for a TV show!”

“wow” That was about all Emma could manage with this onslaught of information, her head was still spinning a bit from her rum cocktails she had with Killian, or was it the looks he was giving her by the end of the night, either way, she was lightheaded and needed to concentrate on walking.

“Anyway, enough about him, it’s our anniversary, let’s go home and celebrate!”’

 

*

Emma tossed and turned all night, unable to get Killian or his tragic story out of her mind.  She gave up at 5AM and rolled out of bed, pulled on some yoga pants and a tank top and walked out into their kitchen/living area.  She made herself a cup of coffee and walked over to their window, looking out over the city.  She wanted to see him again, and that scared the hell out of her! She was attracted to her boyfriend’s boss! She rubbed her eyes and groaned. “I am a terrible person!” She whispered to herself feeling riddled with guilt.  She made a decision, for the sake of hers and Walsh’s relationship she needed to push all thoughts of Killian from her mind, she couldn’t see him again!  It was probably all in her head anyway, the man was a celebrity after all, and he must have his pick of women! The thought alone made her stomach turn.  “Ok Emma that’s enough!” She scolded herself then started to get ready for work, her Saturday shift at ‘Gold’s’ started at 7AM and she wanted to be gone before Walsh woke up looking for round two, she couldn’t face him right now after a night thinking about Killian. She needed a cold shower and a long shift to clear her head.  By tonight things would be back to normal!

 

*

 

Walsh sauntered into Killian’s office; they always started the day like this, looking over the menu and order of service. “Morning Captain” He muttered sipping his coffee.

Killian raised his eyebrows at him. “Late night?” Why did he ask that? He didn’t want to know…or did he?

Walsh flashed a toothy grin.  “She’s a lucky lady!”

Killian groaned, “Ok, ok, I shouldn’t have asked!” He fought against the urge to punch Walsh and reminded himself Emma was Walsh’s girlfriend, he had every right to spend his nights…he quickly shook the image out his head! “I will need you to take a bigger role over the next few weeks, I’ve bought ‘The Rabbit Hole’ on the corner and I’m renovating it into our own cocktail bar, I’m going to name it ‘Tiger Lily’ and hopefully if it kicks off I can turn it into a national chain of bars!”

Walsh’s eyes widened. “Wow that’s ambitious! I had no idea you wanted to open a bar.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while and saw the space open up on the corner, the name…I guess you could say it was a last minute inspiration.”

“Sounds great, so what do you need me to do?”

“Just help run things here while I’m overseeing the work on the bar, I’ll still be here on the weekends but Monday through Thursday I’ll be immersed in Tiger Lily, my hope is to have the grand opening at the end of the month! But I still need to meet with decorators, make sure the licensing is taken care of and all above board, and hire staff.  Do you think you can manage things here?”

Walsh thought it over.  “Does it come with a pay rise?”

Killian rolled his eyes. “Yes, your responsibilities will increase so your pay check will reflect that, but only for this month, it’s a temporary arrangement, once the bar is up and running I will turn things over to the bar manager and return my attentions back to the Jolly Roger.”

“I think I can manage that, thanks Captain!”

*

 

Emma looked up at the clock, 10AM, still a couple hours before the lunch rush! For once she wished for a busy day, at least then she wouldn’t have time to think about last night, like the way his tongue sinfully swept across his bottom lip, or how smooth his voice was, was that a British accent? Her thoughts were mercifully interrupted by the front door opening, as soon as she saw the man entering her face lit up.

“David!” She ran over and threw her arms around him.

He chuckled, her hug almost knocking the wind right out of him. “Hey Em, miss me much?”

David and his wife Mary Margaret were the last family to foster Emma, they were 25 year old newlyweds and Emma was a feisty, 15 year old who seemed to have a gift at getting into trouble with the law, thanks not least of all to her boyfriend at the time, Neal. Despite her best efforts to push them away David and Mary Margaret never gave up on Emma and their unconditional love saw her through some dark times; they were family, and even though she moved out she still saw them on a weekly basis.  They’d just been away on a 4 week cruise and Emma had missed them terribly!

“How’s Mary Margaret?”

“She’s great! Desperate to see you! In fact that is why I’m here; she wanted me to invite you and Walsh over for dinner tonight!”

“Walsh text me earlier to let me know he is going out with guys from work after his shift but you can count on me!”

“Great! Mary Margaret will be thrilled, see you at seven, oh and I’ll also have two cappuccinos to go!”

“Coming right up” She chuckled.

A petite brunette in a matching barista apron came through the kitchen door carrying a tray of muffins. “Oh, hi David!”

“Hey Ruby”

She walked over and gave David a playful nudge with her elbow. “Perhaps you can get this one to spill what’s on her mind; she’s been distracted all morning…very unlike her!”

“Oh really?” David gave Emma a goofy grin. “Do tell Em!”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told Ruby, it’s nothing, and you guys are delusional!” Emma protested.

“Hmmm sounding a bit defensive there Emma…” David teased. “Don’t worry Ruby; we’ll get it out of her tonight!” Emma rolled her eyes and retreated to the kitchen.

Ruby leaned over and whispered. “Tell me everything when you find out!”

David laughed. “Goodbye Ruby!”

 

*

 

“More wine, Emma?” David asked, trying desperately to change the subject. She had been laughing at Mary Margaret’s story about David dressing up as Prince Charming for the fancy dress night on their cruise.

“That is so embarrassing!” Emma giggled.

“Hey laugh it up! I looked dashing, and I was inundated with invitations to dance; I didn’t sit the whole night!”

“Yes but what he’s not telling you is that all his offers were from elderly women!” Mary Margaret squealed with laughter.

After the hilarity died down and David had stopped pouting Mary Margaret turned to Emma. “So how was your anniversary?”

The question caught Emma off guard but of course Mary Margaret would remember! “Um…it was fine.”

“So…” David joined in. “What did you do?”

“He cooked for me…at his restaurant.”

Mary Margaret caught on before David. “Aw I’m sorry Em, couldn’t he get the time off work?”

“He could, I guess he just didn’t want to” Emma shrugged.

“Wait until I get my hands on that son of a…”

“David!” His wife scolded him.

“It’s ok guys, I actually had a pretty good night, the food was amazing, and I guess the head chef pitied me and invited me to sit at his table and it was really interesting talking with him so it wasn’t a complete bust. Look Walsh has never been the grand romantic gesture type of guy and honestly, I don’t think I’m that kind of girl either!”

Emma’s two friends stared at her.

“Uh huh.” Mary Margaret said.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

David was too angry at Walsh to be paying attention. “Well when I see that guy we’re going to have a little talk about how to treat women.”

“Ugh! Please don’t, David! You may have been Prince Charming but I’m not some Princess that needs rescuing!”

They all started laughing again.

 

*

 

“Another round for the table, love!” Killian called to the waitress, giving her a wink.  He returned his attention to his employees. Wendy, Tink, Walsh, along with two other waiters and the other chefs had come out to celebrate their new venture. “The paperwork was signed this afternoon, we now own The Rabbit Hole, here’s to new adventures and the start of Tiger Lily!” There was a loud cheer following by the clinking of glasses. Killian was happy, he’d wanted to open a bar for a long time but was just waiting for the right venue, when The Rabbit Hole became available it was perfect and all he needed was the right name, he’d gone through countless Peter Pan inspired ones; Skull Rock, Pixie Hollow, Neverland, but they all sounded childish and just didn’t fit.  It was Emma’s mention of Tiger Lily, as soon as the words left her lips he could picture it, a sexy and stylish cocktail bar, a totally different feel to The Jolly Roger, more elegant and sophisticated, like his muse. Once the place was open he would have to send her something by means of thanks. It wasn’t the worst excuse to see her again! He’d managed to talk himself out of visiting her coffee shop this morning ‘by chance’, she was dating Walsh after all, and if she was happy he had no right to interfere.  Then again, she didn’t seem very happy last night, what man doesn’t want to celebrate his anniversary? He’d only shared one meal with her and was completely captivated, Walsh was a fool! She was sweet, smart, and wildly attractive, but more than that, she was kind and genuine, a rare treasure. Anyone could see Walsh took her for granted; maybe he should try and pursue her; after all a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. In that moment Killian made up his mind to go speak to Emma tomorrow, he didn’t imagine she’d be the type of girl to stray from a committed relationship but he was a patient man, he could be friends and bide his time until Walsh screwed it up which, let’s be honest, probably wouldn’t take that long.

It was then he noticed Walsh sitting at the bar talking to a curvy redhead. He was slowly trailing his finger up and down the woman’s arm and her hand rested on his thigh.  They were talking back and forth in each other’s ears and giggling.  Killian saw red, he should have been happy, here was his opportunity to prove to Emma the rat that Walsh was but instead he just felt sick that this son of a bitch would be so careless with her heart. He clenched his fist and started walking towards them.

“Hey, Captain, where are you going?  Wendy and I are just about to start karaoke; you guys need to be our groupies!” Tink gave him a pouting look, bottom lip protruding.

“I’ll be right back, wouldn’t miss it for the world!” He promised, but when he turned his attention back to the bar Walsh and the redhead were gone.  He scoped the room but couldn’t see them anywhere, he crossed the room and turned down the hall towards the restrooms and found them, Walsh had her pinned against the wall making out.

“What the hell are you doing?” Killian shouted.

“What’s your problem?” The redhead replied angrily. “Can’t you see we’re busy here?”

Walsh looked down awkwardly. “Um babe you better go, I’ll call you!”

The woman huffed angrily then marched past Killian back into the bar. 

“Bloody hell Walsh!”

“Hey it didn’t mean anything; I’m just having a good time, letting my hair down…” Before he could finish Killain had his first in Walsh’s shirt pinning him to the wall in a less enjoyable way. “Whoa man! Who made you the dating police, you’re my boss not my father! You don’t get to tell me who I can or can’t kiss…” He stopped again when he looked into Killian’s eyes and saw pure rage.

“How can you treat Emma like this, she deserves so much better!”

“Look, you’re right, don’t worry” Killian eased his grip and Walsh’s shoulders sagged.  “I’ll sort things out with Emma tonight, do the right thing!” Before Killian could reply Walsh shook himself free and left the bar.  The only good Killian could see in the situation was at least after tonight Emma would be free of Walsh, he just wished it could of happened without her heart getting broken.

 

*

 

The next morning Killian made his way to ‘Gold’s Coffee Shop’, he wanted to check on Emma to make sure she was ok, he was prepared to do whatever it took to cheer her up and take her mind off the breakup. The bell chimed above his head as he pushed open the door. He could see a brunette with her arms around Emma, no doubt trying to give her friend some support, except when she pulled away she had a smile on her face. “Congratulations Emma” he could hear her say.  _“Emma must be taking this better than I expected!”_ Killian thought _“perhaps she was already planning to end things with Walsh”._ Relief washed over Killian, she was going to be ok!

“Good morning ladies” He interrupted them.  When their eyes met Emma had a surprised smile.  Good, she was happy to see him!

“Killian Jones! To what do we owe this pleasure?” She beamed.

“Oh I was in the neighbourhood and feeling thirsty…did I overhear that congratulations are in order? What are we celebrating?”

Emma’s cheeks flared pink and she held out her hand, a flash of light drew Killian’s eyes down to her fingers. “Walsh proposed last night, we’re engaged!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't shout at me!!! 
> 
> But please, do leave me a comment, I love getting your feedback!


	3. Chapter 3

The last person she expected to see that morning was Killian Jones. She wasn’t ready. Not ready to see his smile or that damn eyebrow rise when he said hello, not ready to hear what had to be the sexiest accent on the face of the planet, she wasn’t ready to tell him about her change in relationship status and she certainly wasn’t ready for the way his face dropped ever so slightly at the news. It was a subtle fleeting reaction, quickly replaced by a wide smile, that didn’t quite meet his eyes, and a shower of congratulatory words but Emma saw it and she wasn’t prepared for the sudden weight in her chest that came with it.  Perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her, she tried to tell herself that he was probably just tired, surprised, hung over, or all three, why was she even thinking about what Killian thought about her engagement? They’d had one unplanned, albeit wonderful, dinner together, they were practically strangers. Just because he had danced in and out of her thoughts ever since didn’t mean she’d had the same impact on him!

Honestly the proposal had come as a shock to her too, especially after how indifferent Walsh seemed on their anniversary.  But when he came home last night, slightly tipsy, and took her hands in his and poured his heart out she couldn’t refuse him.  He had explained how he found it hard to open up and trust people after a previous girlfriend cheated on him and apologised for projecting that on his and Emma’s relationship and not being as open and loving as she deserved.  He told her how she had shown him what true love is and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life showing her how grateful he was.  Emma had been completely blindsided, it was so out of character for him to open up and talk about his emotions like that, she had been touched by his vulnerability and if he could trust her with his heart then surely she could trust him with hers!  Their relationship may not be like the fairy tale books she read as a child, or like David and Mary Margaret’s whirlwind romance that seemed to stand the test of time and grow stronger and more loving no matter what life threw their way.  Walsh may not look at her the way David looks at his wife, like she hung the moon and stars, but maybe she needed to be realistic and stop putting all these expectations on him, he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.  Emma saw no reason not to accept, I mean that’s what couples who live together do! Strangely at the time he asked the first image that came to Emma’s mind was Killian, it was ridiculous for her to even think of him at a time like that, it’s not like he was even an option.  Yet here he was the next bloody morning standing holding her hand looking at the ring Walsh had taken her to the jewellers before work that morning to buy.  It was a simple solitaire diamond on a thin white gold band, it was plain but sparkled brilliantly nonetheless, however she was more aware of the sparks she felt feeling his touch, he seemed to be taking longer that he should to look at a pretty basic ring. Eventually he gave her a half smile releasing her hand and said “Walsh is a very lucky man” making her blush which in turn caused Ruby to raise her eyebrows at her friend.

“Well one of us is still single and more than happy to take your order honey, what’ll it be?” She gave Killian a flirty wink.

“Oh…um…just an Americano for me please, love.” He answered distractedly, looking back at Emma.

Emma awkwardly started trying to look busy wiping down the counter and checking the coffee pots hoping it looked convincing because she didn’t know what to say and Killian standing there wasn’t helping her to forget how handsome and charming he was.  She was engaged to Walsh and needed to stop acting like a teenage girl crushing on the hot boy in the back of the class. 

“There you go handsome, have a wonderful day!” Ruby unnecessarily leaned over the bar showing off her cleavage, not even trying to hide the fact she was undressing him with her eyes. 

“Thanks” He muttered then turned to Emma, scratching behind his ear, “Well, love, I guess I’ll see you around, congratulations again!”

“Thanks Killian!” She watched him nod then leave. As soon as the door closed she dropped her shoulders and sighed.

 

*

 

_“Walsh proposed last night, we’re engaged!”_

Her words knocked the air right out of his chest. He’s not sure how much time passes as he replays them over and over in his mind making sure he heard right because there is no way when Walsh said he’d ‘sort it out’ he meant he’d act like nothing happened and impulsively propose to Emma. He felt physically sick. He was aware that he was smiling and uttering some sort of congratulations.  How was it possible for Walsh to be such a dog and land on his feet with Emma, his sweet Emma, but no she wasn’t his, she never was.  He tried to suppress the anger rising inside him, trying to act cool while reminding himself he has no stake on her, she is a free woman and can love who she wants.  He wanted to be happy for her while at the same time wanted to break Walsh’s nose. He’d been holding her hand too long; he released it and said the only thing he felt he truthfully could. “Walsh is a very lucky man” She blushed, god she looked beautiful when she did that! He was suddenly aware of another voice, a petite brunette who seemed to be shamelessly flirting with him. His eyes darted back to Emma, she was pretending to clean…was she ignoring him now?

As he waited for his coffee he had to rethink everything.  He came in here planning to console Emma.  Show her that he cared and he was sorry that Walsh was careless with something as precious and valuable as her heart. He would tell her he was there if she needed anything and he would leave and check in on her later in the week, build a friendship, and when she was over Walsh he could tell her how he felt, go at her pace until he could at least try and undo the damage that idiot caused and prove to her he was different.  That was the original plan but now…now everything had changed.  He knew it wasn’t his place to tell her about Walsh but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel like he was lying to her by omission and that thought left him feeling cold and empty. It was a conflict of conscience, Killian Jones had spent his life living by a code, one that definitely did not permit playing games with a woman’s heart, and now he didn’t know what to do!

She said goodbye and he casually said he’d see her around because he wanted to see her again more than anything. He left them with a bitter taste in his mouth and a knot in his stomach.

 

*

 

Killian stormed into the Jolly Roger. “Tink!” he yelled at the top of his voice.

“Yes Captain?”

“Send Walsh to my office, now!”

He marched to his office and slammed the door behind him. Pacing back and forth he tried to control his anger, after all he didn’t want to be charged with assault right before the opening of his new bar.  He opened his top drawer and pulled out two glasses and a bottle of rum.

The door squeaked open and Walsh popped his head in. “You asked for me Captain?”

“Yes, please sit” He signalled to the chair on the other side of his desk. As Walsh obeyed Killain poured rum into each glass then handed one to Walsh.  “I hear congratulations are in order”

Walsh’s face faltered, “um…thanks…how did you hear?”

“Emma told me” He had to admit he enjoyed seeing the colour drain from Walsh’s face.

“I…um, didn’t know you two talked…”

“Right let’s look at today’s menu!” Killian changed the subject, it was just enough to put Walsh on edge, he wanted to torture him, to make him wonder if he had said anything to Emma or not.  It wasn’t much but maybe it would be enough to make Walsh confess to her, after all it was just his word against Walsh’s, and Emma needed to hear it from her fiancé. 

 

*

 

“You’re engaged!” Mary Margaret squealed.

“To Walsh?” David struggled to hide his surprise.

Mary Margaret slapped his chest with the back of her hand “Of course to Walsh, David, who else? Seriously!” She gave her husband a disapproving look.

“But, he didn’t even ask us?” David was not impressed.

“No one does that anymore!” Emma insisted, rolling her eyes at her foster father.

“Still would have been nice…” David muttered to himself.

“I can’t believe he proposed! How are you feeling Emma?” Mary Margaret asked kindly.

Emma took a deep breath and shook her head in disbelief “Honestly I was really surprised too, we had never talked about marriage, I wasn’t even sure Walsh was a the marrying type but he really opened up to me and poured his heart out in a way he never has before, it was a whole new side to him, it was just nice to see him be vulnerable like that, honestly after the other night I didn’t think he cared that much about our relationship but I feel like I know he loves me now and…yeah, I guess that feels good!”

“You guess?” Mary Margaret asked, eyebrow raised.

“You know what I mean!” Emma answered “I’m just still getting over the shock.”

“Yeah, you’re not the only one!” David added, earning another glare from his wife.

 

*

Emma was curled up on the couch searching wedding venues on her laptop when she heard Walsh come home. “Emma?”

“In here” She shouted back at him “Do you need any dinner?”

“Nah I brought some food back from work for us” He answered, trying to gauge her mood to see if Killian had ratted him out.

Emma set her laptop on the coffee table and turned to face him smiling “You mean I get to eat Michelin star food two night’s in one weekend!”

“Only the best for you, babe!” He turned and rolled his eyes.

Emma frowned catching the sarcasm in his voice. “Is everything ok?”

He rubbed his face with his hand and rested his hand on his hip “It’s just been one hell of a day!”

She smiled sympathetically “Why don’t you sit down here, let me rub your shoulders and you can tell me about it?”

Walsh walked over and took her seat on the couch while Emma jumped up and stood behind him so she could get a good pressure on his tight muscles; her small hands began to knead the knots away. Walsh relaxed and let out a groan “you’ve no idea how badly I need this”

Emma smiled “So what happened today, what’s got you so stressed?”

Walsh tensed up again, was this a trick? Her way of making him admit what he’d done? He had to find out what Killian said to her. Who the hell did he think he was anyway meddling in other people’s love lives?

“Hey, hey, just relax, its ok, you’re home now. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

He let out a breath and relaxed again, this was all some bloody mind trick of Killian’s! “My boss was just a real douche today; he was in a shitty mood and took it out on us.”

Her hands stopped. “Killian was upset?” Emma muttered to herself.

“Yeah ‘Killian’, hey did I miss something? Are you guys friends? First he is asking you to eat with him and then he mentioned today that you told him we got engaged, when were you speaking to him?” He tried to sound casual but Emma could pick up the annoyance in his voice.

“I just met him the other night, I think he invited me to eat because I was alone and we got talking. We’re not ‘friends’ he just happened to walk into ‘Gold’s’ this morning when I was telling Ruby, he overheard us, said congratulations and ordered a coffee…that was it!” Technically that _was_ it so why did Emma feel so guilty admitting it like she was sneaking behind his back? She tucked that thought away to deal with another time and shrugged her shoulders “He didn’t seem upset when I saw him, but then, I doubt he would have told his barista’s if he was!”

Walsh, finally satisfied that Killian hadn’t told Emma about the other girl, nodded his head in the direction of the computer. “What were you doing?”

“Oh just looking at wedding venues…”

“Already? Bloody hell Emma we’ve not even been engaged for 24 hours!”

“I’m not booking anything! Just getting ideas!” She said defensively, what was his issue?

“As long as you don’t get too many ideas in that pretty little head of yours!” He muttered.

*

Three weeks passed without Emma and Killian seeing each other and apart from the odd quiet moment at the coffee shop when she’d stare at the front door willing him to come in just so she could see him again, or the occasional dream he would visit her in at night she actually rarely thought of him.  She was sitting in her office one particularly stormy day; the rain had barely lifted all week, when a file showed up on her desk for a young boy who’d been abandoned and needed a foster home.  Emma loved her job, vowing after years being shuffled from home to home finding herself with all manner of ‘carers’, some of which the word ‘abusers’ better suited, that she would do whatever she could to make sure that didn’t happen to other kids.  Her passion for her job was evident in the hours of overtime she put in and her relentlessness when it came to homing children.  She expected a high standard from their foster parents and left no stone unturned during inspections and interviews. Some days were harder than others, today was one of those days.

She opened the file on her desk and took a sharp intake.  She closed it quickly then blinked trying to ward off the tears in her eyes.  Mary Margaret, who worked at the same place, was passing by when she caught a glimpse of Emma wiping away tears through her office window.  She opened the door “Emma, are you alright?”

Emma swallowed and shook her head.

“Oh honey what’s wrong, did something happen?” Mary Margaret rushed over and threw her arms around her. Emma couldn’t hold it in and started to sob.

After a few minutes she regained her composure and handed Mary Margaret the file; she opened it  and saw a picture of a 7 year old boy with brown hair and brown eyes. “Henry Mills” she read the boy’s name wondering what made Emma react that way.

“Look at the birthdate”

“Oh Emma, I’m so sorry” She hugged her daughter again.

“I know it’s silly, I just…he would be that age now…it felt like I was looking at him…”

“Shhhh, it’s ok, I understand” she said soothingly “Why don’t you go home early, let me take care of Henry Mills, I’ll make sure he gets a good place. You should go and be with Walsh, tell him what happened…”

“No” Emma shook her head “Walsh doesn’t know”

Mary Margaret’s mouth dropped open “You’ve never told him?”

Emma hung her head “How do you bring something like that up?”

“But you’re getting married, you should tell him Emma, you shouldn’t keep something like this from him, you told us he opened up to you and showed you his vulnerable side, let him comfort you Emma. Go on home, I’ll sort this” She held up the file and left the room.

Perhaps she was right, Emma was marrying Walsh they shouldn’t have secrets, she’d been so afraid that he would be shocked, disappointed, or even see her as damaged goods.  She’d never given him the chance to help heal her wounds, never given him the chance to sooth her aching heart.  She made up her mind to go home and have that conversation with him, after all he loved her, and it was crazy not to trust him! She packed her bag, wrapped her coat tightly around herself and hailed a cab.

She ran to the cab trying to dodge the raindrops, as soon as she gave her address and the car started she whipped her phone out of her bag to text Walsh telling him she’d be home early but just before she could hit ‘send’ her battery died. She sighed and threw her phone in her oversized bag and rested her head against the window trying to figure out how she was going to break the news to him.

Due to the bad weather and early hour the streets were clear and it only took her 20 minutes to get home. She raced into their apartment building, still managing to get soaked to the bone. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, the living room was empty; she set her bag down and walked towards their bedroom, her eyes furrowed when she saw a pair of black heels lying on the floor like they’d been kicked off. “Walsh?” she said but there was no answer, she picked the shoes up and made her way to their door, opened it and gasped, dropping the shoes to the floor with a thud.  Walsh was in bed lying on his back completely naked, apart from his socks, with a petite, also naked, redhead riding him into oblivion.

They stopped suddenly when they heard Emma. Walsh threw the girl off of him wrapping the sheet around himself “Emma! Emma wait I can explain!”

Emma was taking deep breaths trying desperately to un-see what she just witnessed. He grabbed her arm and she snapped it away from him like his very touch burned her. “What the hell Walsh!”

“Emma it’s not what it looks like!”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, tears stung her eyes and she took a deep breath and in a calm, cold voice said “I’m going to my parent’s when I come back tonight I want you and all your stuff gone. We’re over.”

“Emma, please!” he begged.

“Just get out!” she pulled her ring off her finger and left it on the dresser “And that belongs to you, I don’t want it. Goodbye!”

She stormed out the apartment shaking all the way downstairs, her breaths were becoming irregular, she tried to breathe deeply but she could feel a panic attack coming on, she couldn’t go back upstairs and face him so she marched outside, she went to hail a cab and realised she had left her bag in the apartment so had no money.  She hugged herself as she started to walk, it was only 4 blocks to ‘Gold’s’ and Ruby was working tonight, she’d go there and then decide her next move, she quickly walked through the rain, breathing deeply, her shaking getting more violent, she stopped hearing the noise around her just focusing ahead trying to see through her tear and rain soaked eyes. Three blocks down and she was in full panic, “come on Emma just keep walking, come on, come on, come on” she was saying aloud to herself. She didn’t even notice the figure coming towards her until she ran into him with such force she fell back onto the sidewalk. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” the voice said, bending down to help her up, she looked up at him, losing herself in his blue eyes, clouded with concern. She had just ran right into Killian Jones!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think. See you all next week!!


	4. Chapter 4

“Emma? What are you doing out here, is everything ok?” He pulled her up to her feet. Emma couldn’t respond, the weight of everything that happened that day, Henry Mills, finding Walsh, the panic attack…she collapsed into Killian sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Her knees gave out and he wrapped his arms around her to prevent her falling again. Without a second thought he scooped her up in his arms, her own instinctively wrapping around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. They were right outside The Jolly Roger and he quickly carried her in before she drew any attention on the street.  Thankfully the staff were all in the kitchen preparing for dinner service and Tink hadn’t arrived yet he thought, not wanting to cause her further embarrassment, he whisked Emma into his office and sat her down gently on the sofa in the corner of the room.  He helped peel her out of her drenched coat and grabbed a hoodie he kept at the office and draped it over her shoulders. She was still shaking and breathing heavily, he wanted to hold her but that didn’t seem appropriate so handed her his flask instead “Here, take a sip, it’ll help.”

The rum burned her throat but she instantly felt warmer.  Her mind was still running wild; Killian was kneeling in front of her asking her something.  She had to get her breathing under control; she must look like a madwoman. _“he never loved you, he never loved you, he never loved you”_ the words kept repeating in her head drowning out whatever Killian was saying to her, Walsh never loved her, just like Neal, just like those families each one a promise of a new start, a hope to be a part of something and each one let her down. Her shaking worsened, she had to make it all end “Stop!” she screamed making Killian jump away from her. She closed her eyes tightly and repeated over and over “David and Mary Margaret, David and Mary Margaret, David and Mary Margaret…” She’s been through this before, back when she was going through her darkest time the panic attacks were relentless and she’d been taught how to deal with them.  Mary Margaret and David were the one constant in her life, thinking of their love for her was the most calming reassuring thought she could focus on, and saying their names over and over was the only way she’d been able to chase away the negative thoughts tormenting her.

Killian watched her helplessly, but as she muttered those names the shaking started to subside and her breathing seemed to regulate.  Realising she was calming down, he left the room to give her a moment to compose herself and so he could call Walsh.  His cell went straight to voicemail, he should have left a message but he just wanted to get a hold of someone. Racking his brain he had an idea and looked up the number for ‘Gold’s’, waiting for an answer he whispered “please don’t be Gold!”

“Gold’s Coffee Shop” a female voice chirped down the phone.

“Hi…I’m calling for Emma Swan, she’s fine but she’s had an accident and I need a number to contact, Walsh isn’t picking up and I was wondering if you guys have a different emergency contact number?”

“Oh my God! What happened?” Ruby exclaimed.

“I don’t really know yet, I could really use a number though, love, she keeps asking for David and Mary Margaret?”

“Oh yeah, of course.  They are kind of her parents, I have their number here.”

Killian wasn’t sure what she meant by ‘kind of her parents’ but he quickly jotted down the number Ruby gave him and hung up so he could call them.

“Hello?” A man’s voice answered.

“Uh, Hi, my name is Killian Jones, I’m the head chef at The Jolly Roger, Emma is here and…well she seems to of had a nasty shock, I’m not sure what happened but I found her outside having a panic attack, she doesn’t have a phone or anything with her. I got your number from Gold’s…”

“I’ll be right there!” David interrupted and immediately hung up.

Killian walked back into his office, Emma was sitting slumped over with her head in her hands quietly crying. He sat down next to her, handed her a tissue and said softly “I got David’s number from your coffee shop, he’s on his way…is there anything I can do for you in the meantime?”

“Thank you” Emma spoke in a quiet voice “I’m so sorry to bother you, I’m sure you’re really busy!”

It was true, he was busy tonight with it being Walsh’s night off he had to oversee everything in the kitchen and do a fair bit of cooking too.  But this was Emma, and something was seriously wrong, it was then he noticed her hands playing with the tissue he’d given her…she wasn’t wearing her ring! He didn’t want to jump to conclusions; it could just be getting resized or cleaned…after 3 weeks…you never know. He wished they were closer; close enough that she could share her burden with him but the truth was he was little more than a friendly stranger to her. “Don’t worry lass; I’m ok to stay here with you until David comes, if you don’t mind the company?”

She glanced at him and gave a half smile, “I’d like that”

It was enough to make Killian’s heart soar. He decided not to ask about what happened; she would tell him when she was ready, so instead he shared a bit about himself. “I suffer from panic attacks too…ever since I was 21, I get them at night sometimes when I wake up from nightmares.” He hadn’t told anyone that before.

“That sounds scary.”

“Aye, it can be”

Emma chewed her lip nervously. “I haven’t had one for so long; I almost forgot what to do…”

“You did well, love” He smiled reassuringly.

Before he could say anything else the door opened and David walked in, as soon as his eyes clocked on Emma he rushed over to her. “Emma! Are you ok?” He pulled her into his arms. Killian decided to leave and give them a moment.

When the door shut behind him David pulled back from Emma, “What happened?”

Emma looked down to the ground “I had a bad day at work so Mary Margaret sent me home early, but then I walked in on Walsh with another woman…in a compromising position…in our bed. I told him we were over and that he had to pack up and leave tonight”.  She felt so embarrassed admitting it “Its ok you can say ‘I told you so’ it’s no secret you didn’t like Walsh”.

David wanted to call Walsh every name under the sun, he wanted to hunt him down and beat him to a pulp but what he wanted most was for Emma to be happy, he hated seeing her hurting due to another man being reckless with her heart.  He kissed her head and said “Let’s get you home, Mary Margaret will be worried, I’m sure she has some hot cocoa and cinnamon waiting for you”.

 There was a light knock on the door and Killian entered again. David and Emma rose to their feet, “Thank you for helping my daughter” David held his hand out to Killian who shook it and replied, “No need to thank me, mate!” He gave Emma a smile, “Lovely to see you again lass, next time let’s make it under better circumstances!”

Emma’s heart skipped a beat ‘ _next time’_ not knowing what to say she offered a weak smile and nodded her head. 

“Ok Ems, I’ll call you a cab, Mary Margaret is at home waiting for you, I’ll head over to your place and make sure he got the message and is gone! I’ll meet you back at ours later.” David was pulling out his phone when Killian cleared his throat.

“Why don’t you let me drive Emma, she’s had a nasty shock, I don’t mind seeing her home safely!”

“I don’t want to put you out; you’ve already been so kind to me, I’m sure you’ve got things you should be doing instead of chauffeuring me around!” Emma objected.

His eyes softened as did his voice, “It’s no trouble, love, and please I’d feel better seeing for myself that you got home safe. This place can do without me for a little while.”

“Ok then that’s settled” David said, eyeing Killian curiously “I’ll see you at home Emma.  Thanks again…”

“…Killian” Killian said “and it’s really no trouble.”

 

*

 

The car ride to David and Mary Margaret’s was silent. If Emma hadn’t been so exhausted after her emotional rollercoaster she probably would be mortified that Killian saw her in that state and was now driving her home in his sleek black Audi R8. She’d looked out the window the whole ride, she felt completely displaced, once again she thought she’d found her home, her future, and once again it was taken away from her; an all too familiar situation in Emma’s life.

He heard a sad sigh escape her lips as she gazed out of the window; she hadn’t spoken and he hadn’t pushed. He didn’t know what happened to her but judging by the lack of ring and David going to check _he_ was gone Killian assumed Walsh had done something unforgivable to her. He made a mental note to cause him some sort of bodily harm.

“Just the next block” Emma instructed him in a weak voice.

As the car slowed to a stop Killian turned to Emma; her hair was frizzy from the rain, her make up mostly cried or wiped off, those vibrant green eyes, so full of life the first night he met her, were now red and raw and all Killian could think was how even like this she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.  He wanted to kiss each tear, to hold her, comfort her, whisper how beautiful she is and how he’d never hurt her; but he couldn’t do any of those things. She looked up at him smiling awkwardly “I’m sure I’m going to wake up tomorrow feeling really embarrassed about all this!”

“Well you shouldn’t” He assured her, then took a deep breath “I get the impression you’ll not be frequenting The Jolly Roger anymore?”

“I doubt it…sorry; it’s a really beautiful place…I just…”

He took out a pen and paper, jotted something down, and then handed it to her, his hand lingering on hers just long enough for butterflies to form in her stomach. “This is the number for my personal cell” He looked straight into her eyes “Emma, I don’t give this to many people, so know that this is a genuine offer,  if you ever need anything, even just someone to talk to who knows what it’s like to have panic attacks,  please call me.

His eyes were oceans of kindness and it was enough to make Emma start crying again but she quickly looked away blinking back the tears, she couldn’t talk so she just nodded. Killian got out of the car and went around and opened her door. “Good night Emma” he said. She smiled back and walked towards the house; Mary Margaret opened the door and threw her arms around her daughter.

 

*

 

It was 3am before Killian reached his penthouse apartment downtown. “Burning the midnight oil, Mr Jones?” The doorman welcomed him with a smile.

“Aye, Tony, you know me! And how many times have I told you to call me Killian?”

“Oh I reckon about the same amount as the times I’ve told you I’d get fired if those security cameras caught me being so informal with the residents!” The two men chuckled.

“Ok, I can live with Mr Jones; don’t want to get you in trouble! How are Emily and the kids?”

“They’re good, thanks for asking. Jimmy just started kindergarten and Becca is like a mini teenager, they keep us on our toes!”

Killian grinned “I’m sure they do.  Hey, when are you going to take me up on my offer for dinner at The Jolly Roger? My table is waiting for you guys; just tell me the night, my treat!”

 “Are you sure you want us? My lot can be pretty rowdy.”

“It’s a pirate ship! They’ll fit right in.” Killian gave him a pat on the back then headed to the elevator.

*

He shrugged off his coat and pulled his phone out of his pocket setting it on his bedside table before jumping in the shower.  He let the warm water wash over his aching muscles, work had been crazy but despite the dinner rush his mind kept wandering to Emma and what Walsh possibly could have done to cause her to be in such a state.  Whatever it was their relationship seemed finished; he was in two minds to seek Walsh out and confront him but judging by the look in David’s eyes earlier he’d probably already been dealt with.  Killian was relieved Emma had people in her life who truly cared for her. 

 He stepped out of the shower, dried himself, slipped on a pair of boxers and climbed into bed. Just as his head was sinking into his pillow he heard the message alert from his phone.  Rubbing his eyes he reached over, glancing at the clock by his bed – 3:35AM. On his screen an unknown number appeared, he opened the message.

**Thanks for tonight. I’m sorry I just realised I forgot to give you back your hoodie –E**

Killian smiled and typed out a reply.

**More than happy to help, I just hope you’re ok. Ah, I’ll need that back, it’s my favourite one, can’t sleep without it! –K**

2 minutes later his phone beeped again.

**I can see why, it’s very comfy but I think it’s broken because I’m still awake. If you swing by Gold’s on Saturday morning you can get it back, I’ll even throw in a free coffee – E**

God, she was wearing it in bed. He closed his eyes and groaned; he wanted to see her in it. There were so many things he wanted to text back but Emma had just broken up with Walsh, it wasn’t the right time for flirting!

**I’ll be there. Sweet dreams Emma – K**

He saved her number in his contacts and drifted off to sleep imagining Emma wearing his clothes curled up in his arms.

 

*

 

Saturday finally arrived, Emma had moved back into her apartment after David gave it the all clear, she didn’t ask him about the cuts he had on his knuckles when he came by with a locksmith to change the locks. Her home felt strange with all Walsh’s stuff gone, she’d noticed that David had taken away any framed pictures of the couple, it was such a thoughtful protective dad move and it made Emma smile.  Mary Margaret and Ruby had agreed to spend the weekend helping her redecorate, she needed a fresh start and to be honest the place needed a little sprucing up before she looked for another housemate. She just had to get through her morning shift at Gold’s and seeing Killian Jones again.  The thought alone made her stomach do flips, she’d reread his texts from Monday night a hundred times, not quite believing he’d sent them. Even though she’d decided to swear off men for a while there was something about Killian that always made her heart skip a beat, it was completely irrational given his status and the fact that he’d only seen her in really awkward situations, her boyfriend ditching her on their anniversary and then in full panic attack after discovering her boyfriend in bed with another woman.  She wondered if he knew that she and Walsh were over. She couldn’t imagine Walsh telling him the truth, who knew what twisted story he told his colleagues about why his engagement was called off. She tied her hair up in a loose bun, grabbed her bag and Killian’s hoodie and made her way to work. Once she arrived she folded the hoodie up neatly and left it under the counter waiting for him.

It’d been hard to focus all morning and Ruby was picking up on Emma’s anxiousness. “What is it with you today?”

“Nothing, just a lot on my mind”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Not really”

Ruby looked at her friend suspiciously but decided to let it slide, Walsh had messed Emma up so badly she was relieved to see something had her excited. “So are you at least going to tell me who that Superdry hoodie belongs to?” She asked eyeing the navy materiel under the bar that Emma seemed to be guarding with her life.

“A friend lent it to me the other night; they’re coming back for it today”

“A friend, huh?”

Emma rolled her eyes, “Don’t you have a break to go on?”

“I’m not leaving here until I see who your mystery man is!”

“Who said anything about a man?”

Ruby leaned back against the work surface, an amused smirk decorating her face. Right on cue the bell above the door rang and Emma looked over to see Killian enter in dark jeans, a white Henley, and leather jacket. His face lit up when he saw Emma making her blush.

“Ladies” He nodded his head at the two women.

“Hey” Ruby flashed her flirtiest smile “You don’t happen to be missing a navy hoodie by any chance?” Her eyes trailed his body.

He turned to Emma, scratching behind his ear “Now you mention it I think I am missing one of that description”

Ruby licked her lips, hardly able to contain her glee at figuring out what had been up with Emma.

Emma picked the hoodie up and handed it to him, “One hoodie, unharmed, and I believe I owe you a coffee!”

“Sitting in or taking away?” Ruby interrupted.

Killian shuffled on the spot weighing up the options.

“Actually…” Ruby continued “Emma, you still have to take your break! Why don’t you take it now and have a coffee with your friend…I’m sorry, what was your name sweetie?”

“Killian” he answered then looked expectantly at Emma.

Emma was going to kill Ruby, she had definitely taken her break already but calling Ruby out would just make the situation more awkward, Killian and Ruby were both staring at her waiting for her answer.  “Um, sure, good idea…that is unless you need to be going…?”

“I have some time” He said - almost too quickly.

“Great!” Ruby clapped her hands together “What can I get you both?”

 

 

Emma followed Killian to a booth tucked into the corner of the coffee shop, he signalled for her to take a seat first. _“Always the gentleman”_ she thought. She didn’t trust herself to look at his eyes so she looked down at their drinks instead _“Oh god!”_ Ruby had made hearts in the foam; she gave her friend a dirty look which Ruby returned with an exaggerated wink. Emma picked up a spoon and quickly stirred the heart away. Stealing a glance at Killian she realised he’d witness the whole scene, would she ever stop embarrassing herself in front of him? He looked amused by the whole situation. Her shoulders dropped “I’m sorry about her” she tilted her head in Ruby’s direction “And sorry you were ambushed into having coffee with me…”

He reached over and laid his hand on top of hers causing her to inhale sharply. Her reaction made him quickly pull it back again and nervously place it around his coffee cup. “We’ve already shared a meal together, and some rum…seems only natural to have a coffee together, I don’t feel ambushed or forced, I want to be here.” He assured her then asked in a soft voice “how are you?”

Emma dropped her eyes back to her cup “I’m ok…I guess you probably know by now that Walsh and I broke up” She figured she might as well address the elephant in the room.

“I had a feeling, but didn’t know for sure.”

She swallowed “Well we’re over and I feel like an idiot…” she stopped herself biting her bottom lip, Killian probably didn’t want to hear about her relationship problems, she shook her head “Anyway…how are you?” she nodded towards the hoodie “Did you manage to get any sleep without it?”

“Aye, I did thanks” He smiled, enjoying being teased by her; he knew she was deflecting but if she didn’t want to talk about what happened with Walsh he wasn’t going to force her. “It was the hardest 5 nights of my life but I pulled through!”

Emma giggled “I’m so relieved, can’t have you missing out on your beauty sleep!”

“No, we certainly can’t!”

She dragged her finger around the rim of her cup, picking up the excess foam then popping it into her mouth.  It was an innocent enough action but his tongue couldn’t help darting out to brush his bottom lip, she was obliviously looking into her cup unaware of the effect she had on him.

“I bought a bar” he blurted out, trying to think of something to say to take his mind off her sucking the tip of her finger “the opening party is tomorrow night…you don’t know this but you actually played a big part in me buying it”

“Really?”

He ran his fingers through his hair “Yeah, I’d wanted to open a bar for a while but I couldn’t think of a name and that was holding me back I guess. Then that night we had dinner you unintentionally gave me one”

Emma’s curiosity peaked “What was it?”

He smiled hopefully “Why don’t you come to the grand opening tomorrow and see for yourself? You can bring your friend” He signalled to Ruby “You’d be my guests, VIP bar, free drinks…can I tempt you?”

Emma didn’t look convinced “I don’t know…I really appreciate the offer but I’m not ready to be in the same building as…”

“I fired him”

Emma’s mouth dropped open; he’d said it so nonchalantly, like it was nothing. “You…you what…why?”

Killian shrugged “He got into a fight with someone outside the restaurant, he was wearing his apron with our logo; I can’t have my staff seen in brawls with potential customers, we have a really high standard to uphold and frankly I don’t want the bad publicity especially right before I’m about to open a new bar!” He didn’t feel the need to tell her it was David that Walsh had the altercation with.

Emma blinked back her surprise. “That seems so out of character for him…but then I guess I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did! I’m sorry he behaved that way”

Killian leaned forward “Love, you don’t have to apologise for him, he’s no reflection of you, and you are not responsible for his mistakes!” He sighed “So…now you know he won’t be there…”

“We’d love to come!” Ruby popped up from behind the booth.

“Ruby! How long have you been standing there?” Emma demanded.

“Not long! I was just wiping down the tables and couldn’t help but overhear…”

“Sure...” Emma glared at her friend suspiciously.

“That’s great! Well I look forward to seeing you ladies there, I have to go now but it was a pleasure, as always.” He smiled warmly at Emma. “Ruby, I’ll see you tomorrow night!”

“It’s a date!” she shouted after him, smiling wickedly at Emma who whipped her friend with the towel she had tucked into her apron making Ruby yelp. 

“You’re out of control!” Emma scolded her friend

“You’re the one attacking me!” The girls burst out laughing “You know what this means…” Ruby raised her eyebrow at her friend.

“What?”

“We’re going shopping this afternoon!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your kind reviews and for those of you who follow me and this story on twitter! You guys are the best and make me want to keep writing and do the story justice! I will always do me best to respond to you on here and twitter ( librarybelle1)
> 
> Ok so picking up right where we left off, the day before the grand opening of Tiger Lily!

Emma, Ruby, and Mary Margaret we all sprawled out on Emma’s sofa with cartons of Chinese food scattered around them.  It was late evening and they’d just spent the last 5 hours painting, hanging new curtains and gutting out Emma’s house.  They were all in sweats, specks of paint decorating their skin and giggling profusely at Ruby’s online dating horror stores.

“Show me that picture again Ruby.” Emma stretched out her hand to take her friends cell squinting at the picture of a middle aged balding man “He really said his celebrity look-a-like was Vin Diesel?”

“More to the point, Ruby, since when was Vin Diesel your type? You usually go for preppy doctors and lawyers.” Mary Margaret pointed out.

“I just thought a change might be refreshing, you know; add some more experience to my resume” She winked at her friends.

Emma rolled her eyes then Mary Margaret asked, “So why the emergency shopping trip?”

“Emma has a date!” Ruby squealed.  Mary Margaret’s head snapped up to look at her daughter.

“Wait a minute, he asked both of us; so technically if I’m on a date with him so are you!” Emma spluttered, flashing a dirty look at Ruby.

“Hey, works for me! Sharing is caring, especially when he looks like sex on a stick!”

“Ruby!” Emma threw a cushion at her, which Ruby immediately threw back starting a pillow war.

“Stop!” Mary Margaret shouted above the screams. “Ok, what’s going on, who asked you out?”

Emma opened her mouth but before she could say anything Ruby feigned a gasp and said in a husky voice “Killian Jones”

“Killian?  The guy who drove you home Sunday?” Emma opened her mouth again only to be interrupted.

“Wait, he drove you home? What car does he drive? Is that when he gave you his hoodie?” Ruby interrogated her.

“That was his hoodie?” Mary Margaret added.

“I googled him this afternoon, you know he’s famous, right?” Ruby was bouncing in her seat.

Emma sat there mouth still open looking back and forth between her friend and mother “Um…” was about all she could manage before her cell started buzzing on the coffee table, she glanced at it, Killian’s name lighted up the screen. “I have to take that!” She grabbed the phone and ran into her bedroom shutting the door on her friends just as she heard Ruby’s voice call out “Is that him?”

Emma took a deep breath then answered.

“Hello?” Trying, and failing, to sound casual.

“Emma…is this a bad time?”

“No! No…actually your timing is impeccable.”

“Good” He hesitated then sighed “Emma, I wanted to tell you something I found out today…it’s about Walsh and I know he’s probably the last person you want to hear about but I thought you should know, I hope I’m not overstepping here…”

Emma felt a pit form in her stomach, It was almost a week since she found her ex fiancé cheating on her, since then he’d already gotten into a fight and been fired, what could he possibly have done now? “What did he do?” Her voice was quiet preparing for the worst.

She sounded broken and he hated it, the last thing he wanted was to cause her pain but if there was any chance she might run into Walsh he’d rather she was prepared so it didn’t cause another panic attack. “Walsh is going into business with your boss, Gold. They bought a restaurant 2 blocks away from The Jolly Roger, he’s already been contacting some of my customers trying to get them to try out his place; in fact it was one of them who told me.”

“I can’t imagine them being much competition for you?” Emma said thoughtfully.

Killian smiled “I appreciate the vote of confidence love, I guess time will tell…Gold has had it in for me for a while, we have…history…I’m sure he jumped at the opportunity to compete with me.”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t know you knew each other…” Emma wondered what Gold could have against Killian, but thought it better not to pry.

“Yeah…well it’s not completely unfounded…I’d hate to cloud your opinion of me, perhaps a story for another time.  I just wanted to give you a heads up, you know, in case Walsh is frequenting your place of work now he is a partner of Gold’s”

The thought hadn’t even occurred to Emma, now it made sense why he was telling her, he wanted to spare her the shock that could potentially trigger another panic attack. It was so thoughtful, and she couldn’t imagine what he could have done in his past that would change how she saw him but the fact he cared so much about what she thought of him warmed her heart. “Thank you” she whispered.

She could hear his breathing on the other end of the phone; they stayed there in silence, neither one wanting to go just yet. 

“Killian…” God, he’d never tire of the way his name sounded rolling off her tongue.

“Emma?” He practically panted.

“We all have pasts, I would never hold yours against you…and I hope you would never hold mine against me...?”

“Of course not, love” He was taken aback, Emma had a past? Not only that; it sounded like she might tell him about it at some point…he imagined one of her walls slowly crumbling away.

“And thank you for telling me, hopefully once I get a new roommate they will actually pay rent and I can quit my job at Gold’s.” She tried to lighten the mood before things got too intense.

“Walsh didn’t pay rent?”

“Very rarely, I was always chasing him up on it”

“bastard”

“Well hopefully the next tenant will.”

“Aye, well I just wanted to let you know, I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there, Ruby is very excited!”

“And you?”

Emma bit her bottom lip “I’ll see you there Killian, goodnight”

“Until then”

She ended the call and held the phone to her chest, waiting for the butterflies to calm down and colour on her cheeks to fade before returning to her friends who would no doubt want a detailed replay of the call.

She opened her bedroom door to see Ruby and Mary Margaret looking up expectantly at her.

“What did Mr. Sexy Voice have to say then?” Ruby smirked.

Rolling her eyes Emma plopped down on the sofa “Actually he was giving me a heads up; Walsh has gone into business with Gold so I guess there is a chance our paths might cross at work.” Her expression clouded at the thought of seeing Walsh again.

“Walsh and Gold? I didn’t see that one coming!” Mary Margaret mussed, then realising Emma wasn’t in the mood for entertaining anymore said “Right, well I think it’s time to head home, you girls need your beauty sleep for tomorrow” Ruby reluctantly followed her lead and got her stuff together to leave while Emma mouthed a ‘Thank you’ to her mom. As the girls left Mary Margaret turned to Emma “I’ve placed Henry Mills with the Reynolds”

Emma nodded “They’re a great family, thank you”

“Would you like me to take him on?”

“No its ok, I’ll take him to the Reynolds on Monday; I’d like to be his contact.”

Mary Margaret smiled and nodded then hugged her daughter goodnight.

 

*

 

Sunday night came around too quickly! Emma had spent most of the day clearing out closets and trying to find some new furniture on the IKEA website to match her new colour scheme.  She wanted a new bed too…she hadn’t been sleeping in hers since she found Walsh and the redhead in it, opting for the smaller bedroom instead.  She was in two minds to keep this room and advertise the master bedroom for tenants. She would decide after she finished redecorating for now she had about 30 minutes before she needed to start getting ready for the bar opening, she decided to read Henry Mills’ file to prep for meeting him tomorrow, Mary Margaret had dropped it off earlier.  She made herself a mug of hot cocoa and sat down at the breakfast bar to read it.  Henry was supposed to be given up for adoption at birth but it fell through at the last minute resulting in him growing up in a group home.  Emma shook her head sadly, that couldn’t have been what the birth mother would have wanted for him; she thought back on her own experiences in group homes, they weren’t pleasant, she hoped he had fared better.  The Reynolds were good people, she’d been the one to do all their interviews and inspections so she knew Henry would be looked after. She read through the rest of the file and sent an e-mail to the family saying she’d come by with Henry at 2pm the next day.   

She looked at her watch, 20 minutes before Ruby said she’d be there to help her get ready. Emma had rolled her eyes when Ruby suggested it; she was a 25 year old woman she could damn well dress herself! However Ruby was determined and Emma knew better than to argue with her friend. She jumped into the shower and just as she was drying her hair Ruby appeared with a suitcase.

“Ruby, how the hell did you get in here?”

“I asked David for a key to copy” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Unbelievable” Emma muttered under her breath, shaking her head.

“Though…if things go well tonight you might need to start leaving a sock on the door handle so I know when you don’t want to be interrupted!” She gave her friend an exaggerated wink.

“I don’t know what you expect to happen tonight, but whatever that gutter mind of yours is dreaming up, forget it! Killian is, at best, a friend”

“At best? What else would he be?”

“Someone who pities me?” Emma shrugged then turned around and started going through her drawers pulling out sweats and a t-shirt.

“Emma…” Ruby’s voice was soft “No one pities you, Walsh was a first class asshole, that’s on him, not you. You know that, right?”

Emma sighed “I just don’t want him to think I’m some stupid naïve girl …”

Ruby smiled, it was obvious her friend really cared what Killian thought and judging by the way he looked at Emma he cared a lot about what she thought too.

“You really care like him don’t you?”

Biting her lip Emma turned back around to look at her friend sheepishly. “Is it that obvious?”

Chuckling Ruby gave Emma a hug, squeezing her within an inch of her life. “I think it’s obvious to everybody except him!”

Emma blushed “I’m not looking for another relationship, Ruby; I’m not ready to trust someone with my heart, I just…he’s been a good friend, and I feel like he understands me…maybe better than Walsh ever did.”

“For someone who’s not looking for a relationship you’re comparing him to your ex an awful lot.”

Emma shot her friend a warning look.

“Ok, Ok just friends.” She opened up her suitcase emptying out a pile of make-up brushes, hair products and accessories “So let’s make this ‘friend’s’ eyes pop!”

 

*

 

Emma gave the cab driver the address Killian had text her and when he pulled up there was a line of people all the way down the block.  She stepped out of the cab and looked up, her face instantly breaking into a huge smile when she saw the name in bright lights, ‘Tiger Lily’ next to it was a cocktail glass with a feather sticking out instead of an umbrella, there was a grand entrance way with a chandelier hanging outside the door. The large glass window had star shaped lightbulbs hanging down at different lengths, fairy lights wrapped all the way up the long cords they were hanging from.  The girls looked at the long line but just before they started to make their way to the end Tink ran out of the building. “Emma! Killian asked me to keep an eye out for you, follow me.” She led them into the bar.

The place was completely different to The Jolly Roger, instead of novelty interior it was sleek and chic, relying more on lighting effects than decorations or gimmicks. It was breathtakingly beautiful.  They climbed the stairs to the VIP lounge, Emma gasped, it was intimate and stunning, the ceiling was covered in fairy lights giving the illusion of a star lit sky, subtle lighting soaked the room in a purple glow, she slowly looked around taking it all in and then her eyes landed on Killian Jones standing there, looking devilishly handsome in a blue suit and white shirt unbuttoned enough to show off his dark chest hair and silver necklace, his eyes fixed on her.

 

*

 

His breath hitched when he saw her enter in that sinfully tight black dress that hugged in her all the right places, it was short but not too short, it showed off just enough and left just the right amount to his imagination which was definitely running wild. Her hair was braided into a crown and showed off her neck; he licked his lips imagining what it would be like to run kisses down it. The dress had a high neckline but when she turned to say thank you to Tink he saw it was backless making him swallow a lump that had formed in his throat. He watched her take in her surroundings with an expression of awe and then her eyes locked with his and all he could think in that moment was that Emma Swan was going to be the death of him.

They stood there for a moment, completely unaware of everyone else bustling and chatting around them, lost in each other’s gazes.  Suddenly remembering himself Killian shook his head slightly and snapped out of his daydream giving Emma a sly smile and cocking his eyebrow. She smiled back and bit her lip blushing, it was enough to make him want to kiss her right there and then but he knew better. Instead he walked over to her to say hello.

 

*

 

Once her eyes found him she couldn’t look away, Ruby’s phrase suddenly popped into her head as she lost herself in his stare– Killian Jones was sex on a stick, that realisation along with his smile and eyebrow made her blush relentlessly, making her regret telling Ruby she wanted natural makeup, she could use a plastering of concealer and foundation right about now! Killian walked towards her and she could feel her heart rate quicken with each step until he was right in her space. “Hey, welcome to Tiger Lily!” He was so close she could smell his aftershave, a delicious concoction of sandalwood, and citrus, and something else…leather maybe? 

“Thanks for inviting us, nice name!” She tried to act as casual as possible but any chance of playing it cool flew out the door when he leaned in, hot breath tickling her ear, and said “You look stunning, Swan”.

She hoped to god he didn’t hear her sharp intake of breath, she smiled flirtatiously and replied “You scrub up well too.”

He scratched behind his ear, was that the lighting or was he blushing? He turned to Ruby “Ruby, you’re looking lovely, as always, good to see you again.”

“Likewise” she grinned at the pair, completely aware that she was the third wheel here.

He rested his hand on the small of Emma’s back, causing shock waves through her body, and leaned in again to both girls “I have to go schmooze but ladies please enjoy yourselves, I’ve put you on my bar tab, I’ll try and get back to you by the end of the night.”

His thumb lightly stroked Emma’s back and then the warmth of his hand was gone and Killian Jones was walking out of the lounge.  Emma rolled her eyes at Ruby’s knowing smirk. “Ok, let’s get a drink!”

 

*

 

It was 12:30am and Emma really needed to get back home, she wanted to be fresh for meeting Henry Mills, she’d swapped the cocktails for club sodas about 2 hours ago to avoid a hangover the next day. They hadn’t seen Killian again and Emma spent the past few minutes looking around for him so she could say bye. “Are you staying Ruby or leaving with me?”

Ruby had been chatting with a good looking blonde guy for the past couple hours and she had that look like she wasn’t leaving anytime soon unless it was with him. “I’m gonna stay, you ok with that?”

“Absolutely, enjoy!” Emma gave her friend a cheeky wink.

“Love you Ems!” Ruby hugged her then went back to her blonde.

Emma scoped the room one last time for Killian, she spotted him near one of the bars with a flock of women gathered around him hanging onto his every word, giggling, eyeing him up and taking any opportunity to touch his arm and lean in to talk to him.  Emma knew it was silly but she couldn’t help feeling jealous. What was it with the men in her life and other women! _“He’s not your man, Emma!”_ she reminded herself. And this was exactly why he wouldn’t be, wherever Killian went, women followed and Emma knew she’d never be comfortable with that.  Just then he caught her eye, she gave him a half smile and a small wave then headed out the door.

The cold October air hit her as soon as she walked out the front door; she took out her cell and called for an uber then wrapped her arms around herself while she waited, trying not to overthink Killian with women hanging off of him.

“Leaving so soon?”

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his smooth British accent. She smiled, still looking at the road waiting for her ride. “Well, some of us have work in the morning…”

She could feel his closeness “Where’s Ruby?”

“Oh, probably getting lucky”

His eyebrows shot up “She works fast!”

“You’ve no idea.” Emma chuckled.

He could see goose bumps down her arms and her back turning pink with the cold, he shrugged off his suit jacket and gently laid it on her shoulders. Surprised she turned to face him, “Oh, you don’t need to…”

He took her hand stopping her mid-sentence. “I know I don’t _need_ to, I _want_ to.” He was standing right in front of her now, still holding her hand; there was no denying the electricity between them and he wondered if she could feel it to. He tried to ease the tension with a coy smile “Can’t have you catching cold on my watch”

“You’re ridiculous” she gave him a skeptical look.

“Aye, maybe” he smiled back at her, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles, and then glanced down to her lips.

Emma instinctively wet her lips then immediately cursed herself _“What are you doing, he’s looking right at you”_ She watched his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed then looked back at her eyes, obviously weighing up if he should or shouldn’t do something. His gaze danced back and forth from her eyes to her lips and Emma felt herself drawn to him like a moth to a flame, she leaned in closer and he followed suit, their lips were inches apart and Emma was just starting to close her eyes when a car horn sounded making her jump back. “I guess that’s my ride!” she said apologetically.

Killian combed his fingers through his hair and rubbed his face.  A moment longer and he would have been kissing Emma Swan.

“Aye, I guess so.  Thanks for coming out tonight, I hope you liked it, you were my muse.”

Emma blushed, “I feel very honoured, and I wish you all the success in the world, goodbye Killian”

“Goodnight Emma”

He frowned as she drove away, something about her words sounded final and that left an unpleasant feeling in his gut. He walked back towards the club but stopped when he felt his cell vibrate.

**I meant to hand your jacket back before I got in the car; it seems I’ve hijacked your clothes once again, sorry! – E**

He smiled and fired back a reply before going back inside.

**Hmm, was something distracting you? We’ll just have to arrange a time to meet up again so you can return it ;) – K**

*

 

Emma drove up to the group home in her yellow VW bug, as she pulled up she saw Henry sitting on the wall outside with his suitcase sitting next to him. He was wearing a duffle jacket and a stripy scarf and by the looks of things he was keen to leave.  “Hey Henry, my name is Emma and I’m going to take you to your new home, are you ready?”

“All packed and ready, hey cool car!” He replied excitedly.

Emma smiled, “Ok why don’t you get inside and I’ll sign you out”

When Emma came back outside she saw Henry sitting patiently in the front seat reading a book. She opened the driver’s side door and slipped in. “Ok we’re all set, whatcha reading there kid?”

“Peter Pan”

She smiled, immediately thinking of Killian. “Is it good?“

“It’s my favourite!”

She started the car and pulled out. “So you like reading, anything else?”

Henry thought for a moment “I like books, comics, movies, especially Star War, that’s my favourite!”

“Oh yeah, Star Wars, huh? I love Star Wars too.”

“Do you know the family I’m going to live with?”

“Yeah I do actually, they are really nice, I promise.  They have two other kids living there about your age, good kids; a boy called Roland and a girl called Violet.”

After a while they pulled up to the Reynolds house, Henry looked a little unsure of himself.  Emma felt for the kid, “Look, can I tell you a secret?” Henry nodded.  “I grew up in group homes and with foster families too”

Henry’s eyes widened “Were they nice to you?”

“Some were; some weren’t, that is why I do this for a job now; I want to make sure that kids like you, like me, have good homes and good families.  I hand-picked the Reynolds because I believe that they are one of the good ones, but here is my number and if anything happens, if you’re treated badly, even if you are just having a bad day give me a call.  I work for you Henry, so make sure I’m doing my job right!”

The boy looked at her business card thoughtfully, “You mean I’m like your boss?”

“Yep, you’re my boss! I’ll come and visit you to see how you are getting on once a month; that ok with you, boss?”

He nodded happily.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys thanks again for your input, it's a huge help. A lot of you seem to be interested in Henry and how he plays into the story, he will have a bigger role later in the fic but for now you'll see him here and there, a little in this chapter too! Some new characters for you to meet and Killian and Emma getting that little bit closer - man I do love a slow burn! So you know the drill I feed off your reviews and comments. Enjoy!

Killian couldn’t wipe the grin off his face the morning after Tiger Lily’s grand opening.  He sat in his office at The Jolly Roger waiting for his meeting to start twirling his cell in his hand trying to decide if he should text Emma, and if so, what he should say.  He had been so close to kissing her last night, it wasn’t his intention to move so fast; he’d found himself caught up in the moment and she didn’t seem too opposed to the idea either.  The one thought swirling around his mind ever since, the thought that filled him with hope and put a skip in his step – she’d leaned in!

He was interrupted from his daydream when a short, grumpy looking man with dark hair and a beard stomped in.

“Leeroy! Come in; make yourself at home, rum?” Killian held up a bottle he’d pulled from a drawer in his desk.

“Not for me!” He grunted “What’s got you in such a good mood?”

“The bar opening went great last night, I’ve already seen a bunch of positive reviews, I’m back behind the helm at The Jolly Roger, so to speak, and what can I say, you’re sunny disposition is contagious!” He teased his manager.

Leeroy glared at him, sighed, and then pulled out his mac book.  “Ok let’s get started”

“Chatty as ever!” Killian’s quip earned him another glare. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself smiling.

  He liked Leeroy, so he was a bit rough around the edges and had infamously poor timing but he had always taken his job seriously and proved himself to be a valuable asset to Killian.  He’d found him busking in London, playing his guitar and singing for loose change and saw something.  He’d taken Killian on and seen him grow in talent and popularity as well as age from starting out as frontman for the Lost Boys playing weddings and small gigs all the way to selling out stadiums.  It had pained Killian to let him go after the injury, after all he was no longer a recording artist so no longer needed a manager.  After a couple years studying cooking in France Killian had shown such skill and natural talent it didn’t take long before his popularity grew in that field and he was awarded his first Michelin star.  With Magazine interviews, appearances on cooking shows, and a recipe book deal Killian found himself once again in need of a manager and knew exactly who he wanted.   Leeroy had wasted no time getting Killian’s name out there again, making him the rock star of the culinary world.

“Don’t get too comfortable back at the helm; you’re flying to Sydney on Friday for your appearance on Masterchef Australia and feature in their magazine.”

Killian’s face dropped “It’s time for that already? How long am I away?”

“A week; but before that you have a meeting with Robin Locksley and Ariel Triton for the Iron Chef, since you three are judges it’s important you are seen spending time together, you want to have good chemistry on screen, so you are all going to share a table at the Breadcrumbs fundraiser on Wednesday night. Oh and Elsa Arendelle has arranged a meeting with you at Tiger Lily tonight, you were going to be there anyway, right?”

Killian frowned, “Elsa Arendelle, the country music star?”

“Yep” Leeroy didn’t look up from his computer, already reading the next week’s schedule.

Killian shook his head in confusion “Why does she want to meet with me?”

“Dunno, her manager contacted me and arrange a meeting; maybe she wants a date?” he snorted.

“What time tonight?”

“9pm”

Killian sighed, he’d woken up excited about seeing Emma again and with 10 minutes his week had almost completely filled up. He was working at the Jolly Tuesday night and would have to spend a good part of Thursday making sure everything was in order at the restaurant before he left. He threw his head back rubbing his face in frustration. “What is the following week looking like?”

“When you come back you have a couple days just here at the restaurant and bar but then you’re flying to LA to film Iron Chef so your schedule is going to be packed again.”

He looked longingly at his cell phone; this was going to be hard even maintaining a friendship let alone a relationship with everything going on.  He didn’t want Emma to think he didn’t have time for her or she wasn’t a high priority, he’d just have to make the time, their friendship was still so new and he was unsure what her feelings towards him were.

He finished things up with Leeroy and started to work, perhaps if he got everything done he could see her tonight before his meeting with Elsa.

 

*

 

Emma reached for her coffee, screwing her nose up when she took a sip “ugh, it’s cold” she said aloud.  She’d been so focused on finishing up her report on Henry Mills she’d lost track of time, it was 5:30, she should have left 30 minutes ago.  Picking up her purse she dug around until she found her phone, there was a missed call and a text message, both from Killian.

**Hey Swan, are you free this evening? Wouldn’t mind getting that jacket back… ;) –K**

She smiled, he’d called her after.  She’d had her cell on silent to concentrate on her work, probably just as well she thought! She hit the button to call him back, he answered on the second ring.

“Swan, I was starting to think you were avoiding me!”

“I was working; I usually keep my cell on silent at work.” She chuckled at how dramatic he sounded.

“Ah, good to know. So listen, I was wondering if you were free tonight?”

“I have to go to IKEA…”

“What a coincidence, I was just thinking I’m long overdue an IKEA trip.”

“Killian…” she rolled her eyes, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him, she just really needed to focus on getting her apartment redecorated as soon as possible so she could get a new tenant before next month’s rent was due and Killian was definitely a distraction.

 “How about after? I should be finished by 8:30?” she offered. The truth was she wanted to see him again too, but she was still scared of how he made her feel. She wasn’t ready to trust someone with her heart yet and shopping for furniture at IKEA just seemed too much like something couples do.

He sighed “I can’t, I’m afraid; I have a meeting at 9 tonight”

“That’s pretty late for a meeting”

“Aye, well, it wasn’t my idea.”

“What about Wednesday?”

“I’m sorry, love, I have a charity event that night.”

“Oh” She thought for a moment then reluctantly offered “I could just drop your jacket off at The Jolly Roger and leave it with Tink if this week is too busy for you?”

“Emma…this isn’t about the jacket, I want to see you.”

The sincerity in his voice sent a chill down her spine; the line fell completely silent as she played his words over and over in her mind. He wanted to see her “why?” she blurted it out without thinking and immediately hated how closed off she sounded, but she needed to know.

A moment of silence passed as he thought about how to answer. “Emma perhaps I’ve not made myself clear, I like you, I’d like to get to know you better.” He hesitated then added “I hope that’s ok with you?”

She swallowed.  “um…just to be clear, are you looking to pursue a friendship or a relationship?”

He couldn’t hide his surprise at her forwardness inhaling sharply. “Wow, you don’t beat around the bush Swan!”

She giggled shyly making his heart melt “Sorry…I just…I don’t know that I’m ready for much more than a friendship at the moment. I mean not that I’m saying you wanted anything more than that either…god, sorry I’m being so awkward…can you just forget what I said!”

He chuckled softly “I think friends is a good place to start. So what are we going to do about seeing each other this week, friend?”

He was being a dork and Emma couldn’t help but smile. “You’re the popular one Mr. Jones!”

“Oh we’re back to Mr. Jones now are we? His voice had dropped back to the low seductive tone that left her weak at the knees. “Does Thursday suit, Miss Swan?”

Why did he have to sound as hot as he looked, surely that wasn’t a fair distribution of hotness when he was created! She swallowed again trying to make her voice sound as nonchalant as possible “I’m going straight from work to cover the last three hours of Ruby’s shift at Gold’s for her, we close at 8 so I’m free after that?”

“Excellent” he purred “I’ll pick you up there”

 

*

 

He rushed upstairs to the VIP lounge; he saw Elsa Arendelle and another older woman, sitting at a table in the far corner.  He approached them “Good evening ladies, I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

Elsa’s face lit up when she saw him, both women stood, the older one reached her hand out to Killian “I’m Elsa’s manager, Ingrid, thrilled to meet you Mr Jones” She was dressed much younger than her age in a figure hugging dress that showed off her cleavage, sky high heels, and her arms were covered in diamond bracelets.

He shook her hand and nodded his head at her “Likewise” then turning to Elsa he leaned in and kissed her on each cheek, “Elsa Arendelle, it’s an honour to have you at Tiger Lily” She couldn’t have been much older than 20, similar to the age he was when he was starting out in the Lost Boys.

She blushed “I’m thrilled to be here”

He signalled to the table “Please sit, I’ll have another round brought to the table” they all sat down and he looked between both women and asked “So what can I do for you ladies?”

Ingrid smiled “Forgive me for being forward but I have a proposition that I think could benefit both of your careers”

Killian looked at Elsa who seemed unsure about what her manager was going to say.

Ingrid continued, “You both have new ventures coming up, Killian, your bar and first series of Iron Chef, and Elsa has a world tour that hasn’t sold out yet, particularly in the UK. You both could use some good publicity.”

“Ok…” Killian said slowly, wondering where she was going with this, “what did you have in mind?”

“Well Elsa could use some more fans in Europe, you’re still a big name there, and no offense but you could use a few more here in the US!”

Killian raised his eyebrow at her bluntness “And you think you know how to achieve that for both of us?” he challenged.

She smiled slyly, “People like to have a relationship to invest in…”

“Relationship?” Elsa practically squealed in surprise “You didn’t say anything about a relationship, you said partnership!”

“That’s because I knew you would never go along with it, unless you met him, look at him Elsa, you could certainly do worse!” She hissed under her breath.

Killian raised his hands in protest “Whoa, wait a minute…”

“It doesn’t have to be real!” Ingrid interrupted him “I mean ideally real would have been preferable, but we could get away with a public statement, a few appearances, and maybe some paparazzi pics of you two piling on the PDA…”

“Ingrid!” Elsa hissed, and then turned to Killian, “I am so sorry! I didn’t know she was going to suggest this!”

“Just have a chat, get to know each other, I’ll be over there schmoozing at the bar and see if you two love birds don’t change your mind by the end of the night” with that Ingrid got up and moved to the other side of the room and whispered something into a man’s ear who proceeded to whip out his cell and take a few pictures of the pair. 

Elsa shook her head in disbelief while Killian nervously scratched behind his ear, unsure of what to say next.  The girl was beautiful, there was no denying that, alabaster skin, icy blonde hair, braided down her back, the biggest doe eyes he’d possibly ever seen but she was much younger than him, she looked equally unsure and unconvinced by this crazy idea and most of all she wasn’t Emma.

“I have to apologise for my Aunt! I’m completely mortified!” She looked about as uncomfortable as Killian was feeling.

He felt bad for her. “How old are you, lass?”

“21, you?” she lifted her eyes to look at him.

“33” He saw her wringing her hands, she was nervous too, he took a deep breath and tried to reassure her. “Look love, I don’t do…the whole fake relationship for publicity thing…I’m bloody well not going to start now, and I get the impression it’s not something you want to do either.”

“Not at all!” she heaved a sigh of relief, and then looked to her aunt and manager who was engrossed in conversation.

“I want my career to be about my music not about a relationship, I shouldn’t need a man to make me succeed”

“Couldn’t agree more!” He raised his glass in approval.

 Elsa leaned into Killian “I asked her to arrange a meeting with you because I want to work with you, she didn’t take my idea seriously and obviously dreamed this scenario up instead but I still would like to collaborate with you!”

That got his attention and his eyebrow shot up. “Collaborate?”

“On my next album…”

His other eyebrow joined its twin at his hairline, Killian lifted his prosthetic “In case you didn’t hear, I can’t play guitar anymore, I said goodbye to the music business a long time ago”

“I don’t need a guitar player, I need a songwriter.  My parent’s died recently and I was going through their stuff and came across their record collection, they had all your albums, I was completely blown away when I listened to them, the way you tell a story with your lyrics and melody…it’s incredible”

A small nostalgic smile spread across his lips “That’s kind of you to say lass, and I’m sorry for your loss, truly, but I’m really busy with everything…”

“Just think about it? I’m on tour for the next 6 months and then I’m taking time off to work on the album, I could come to you and fit it around your schedule?” She looked at him pleadingly with those big eyes

“I dunno…”

“Just promise me you’ll think about it?”

He chuckled, “Ok, I’ll think about it, but I’m not promising anything else!”

“That’s all I can ask.” She smiled sweetly then stood and shook his hand.

 

*

 

Killian arrived at home at 11:30, waved to Tony, his doorman, who was helping one of the older tenants carry suitcases in, and climbed the stairs to his penthouse apartment (leaving the elevator for Tony and his charge).

He threw his keys in the dish by his door and entered his empty apartment.  The place was spotless, Belle must have been round today, he’d lost track of what days his maid came but a packet of tea with a note confirmed his suspicion.  Belle was always trying to introduce him to new tea because he was British and only drank Tetley English Breakfast tea.  He smiled and read the note _Camomile tea – for stress, you work too hard!_ He chuckled and went to turn the kettle on.  While he waiting for it to boil he looked around his home, he’d kept all the original décor, there was nothing personal, nothing sentimental, the place could belong to anyone. He wondered what it must feel like leaving work and going _home_ somewhere with memories and cherished possessions, filled with photos and mementos of a life full of love, perhaps even with somebody waiting there for you to arrive. His mind naturally drifted to Emma, he tried to imagine her sitting there on his couch, turning her head and smiling up at him as he walked through the door. The whistling kettle woke him from his fantasy; he poured himself a cup of tea and text Emma while he waited for it to brew.

**Hey love, how was the IKEA trip? Please tell me you didn’t eat the meatballs! –K**

A few seconds later a response pinged back.  It was a picture of meatballs and gravy with mashed potatoes. He winced at the message.

**I certainly did, they are a culinary masterpiece…it’s all about the gravy! New bed, sofa, chair, lamps, artwork, and a load of candles, vases, and kitchen utensils I definitely don’t need.  How was the meeting? –E**

**That’s an insult to food, Swan! Meeting was…interesting, will fill you in on Thursday. Don’t eat dinner, I’m cooking for you. –K**

Walsh had never cooked for her, he’d told Killian that once, and it was obvious the woman didn’t know good food if she thought IKEA meatballs were a delicacy.  Killian was going to open Emma’s eyes, and taste buds, to food. He jumped in the shower and when he came back to get into bed he checked his phone one last time and chuckled when he saw he had a string of messages from Emma, “just can’t keep away, love, can you?” he joked to himself.  His smile growing as he read each one.

**Ok, it’s a date. See you then –E**

**Oh God, I didn’t mean it like that! That’s just what I saw to my friends whenever we’re meeting up, please ignore it, I just mean ok I’ll see you there. –E**

**P.s. I promise I’m not usually this awkward, it’s been a long day! –E**

**P.s.s (is that how you say it?) I will probably still grab a McDonalds on my way to Gold’s, I’ll not last to 8pm, but don’t worry I’ll be ready for round 2 –E**

**Also not an innuendo, ok I’m really gone this time – E**

He bit his lip, still smiling like a fool, this woman was adorable.

**Swan, you’re killing me with the junk food! I’ll leave a snack at Gold’s for you, trust me love, a body as exquisite as yours deserves the upmost respect…promise me, no more McDonalds? I’ll see you Thursday at 8 for our ‘friend date’ ;) – K**

*****

Emma’s week went by slowly, she’d visited Henry Mills on Wednesday to check he was settling in ok, thankfully he’d already become friends with Violet and Roland, the three often going off on ‘adventures’ Henry would dream up.  Emma smiled as Mrs Reynold filled her in on his progress while she watched them sword fighting with sticks in the back yard.

“He reads stories to them every night, I’ve even heard him make up his own, and they’re fantastic! He is quite the young man, that imagination of his is brilliant, I envy him for that!” The older woman gushed.

“He seems…happy” Emma sighed contentedly. “I’m so glad.  I thought he’d be a good fit for you guys, thank you for being here for him.”

“He has you too Emma” Mrs Reynolds, put her hand on Emma’s shoulder “He talks very highly of you.”

“Thanks, it takes a village, right?” She turned and got her keys to leave. “I’m going to go say good bye to them, I’ll take Henry for your rest bite in two weeks, Mary Margaret is going to have Roland and Violet since she’s their contact. I’ll see you then.”

She ran out to play with the kids for a few minutes before waving to them all and getting back into her yellow bug.

*

 

Emma shut down her computer, and picked up her bag and coat before leaving her office on Thursday evening.  She hailed a cab and once it pulled away she took out her cell, there was a message from Killian.

**I mean it Swan, no McDonalds! I left a snack at Gold’s for you; think of it as a teaser of things to come tonight – K**

Emma wondered if he meant that text to sound as seductive as it did.  The fact that this man could even make food sound sexy was impressive.  She shook her head, “this isn’t a date!” she whispered to herself.

When she got inside Gold’s Ruby was standing behind the bar smirking at her.

“What?”

Her friend smiled “Oh nothing, just had a hot delivery guy with a smoother than silk accent drop a package off for you” She leaned in to Emma and wiggled her eyebrows “And it’s big!” she gave Emma an exaggerated wink just to make sure she caught the double meaning.

Emma rolled her eyes “You’re disgusting. Ok well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night Ruby, have fun.”

“Oh no, I’m staying until I see what is in that box!” The brunette folded her arms across her chest.

“I thought you had a date with that blonde doctor you met at Tiger Lily?”

“He’ll wait, I’m worth it! Now open the damn box Emma”

Emma sighed. “Ok” She shrugged off her coat and set her bag behind the counter “You’re going to be disappointed though, it’s just…” her words stopped when she lifted the lid off.  Inside was the most beautiful plate of food, though calling it food almost seemed to do it an injustice, she’d ever seen. There was a wooden tray containing a miniature garden, everything in it was edible, there was a tiny vegetable patch made with micro herbs, the soil was a mushroom and some of bread crumb.  There were larger rocks made of breaded chicken and thin crispy flat bread made a bench and table. Every flower, pebble, garden vase was a different flavour and in the centre was a ‘fish pond’ that held the most amazing soup she’d ever tasted. The whole thing looked like a delicate piece of art and she almost felt guilty eating it. There were flavours she didn’t recognise and some she wouldn’t normally gravitate to but all together the way he had made them it was a taste sensation.

“Wow” was all Ruby could say, shocked into silence as Emma let her try different parts.

“This is unbelievable! It’s like a scene from a fairy tale.” Emma giggled.

“Yeah, a delicious one.” Ruby added.

“If this is just a snack, what is dinner going to be like?” Emma muttered.

“Dinner?”

Oh no, now she’d done it. “Um…yeah Killian is making me dinner after work, it’s nothing big, just hanging out as friends…nothing fancy!”

Ruby eyed her friend then pointed to the botanical feast in front of them “Yeah…nothing fancy…” she said sarcastically.

*

The minutes went by painfully slowly at Gold’s that night, in the three hours Emma served 4 customers. She tried desperately to find things to do to pass the time, she cleaned the counters and the tables…a few times, mopped and swept the floors, restocked the fridge and cupboards, even rearranged the coffee mugs and syrups. Now she’d moved onto trying to teach herself origami with the napkins…with little success.

She was in the middle of a not too convincing crane when she heard the bell on top of the door jingle; her head shot up and in walked Gold, with Walsh following behind him.

“Emma, don’t worry about locking up dearie, we’re going to have a meeting here, and as long as the place has been tidied up you can leave.” Gold instructed her.

“Thanks” she nodded at him then looked over to Walsh who was looking anywhere but at her. She turned to gather up her things then heard the bell again, this time Killian walked in. The three men stared at each other for a moment, the atmosphere tense.

“Gold, Walsh” Killian said nodding at them.

They nodded back. Emma cleared her throat then turned to Killian, “You ready?”

“Yeah, love” he answered then laid his hand on the small of her back as he opened the door for her, as he left behind her he turned to Walsh and raised his eyebrow and grinned smugly.

Once outside Emma wrapped her arms around herself “You ok?” Killian asked

He nodded “Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting to see him…that was the first time since…”

“Aye, I wasn’t really expecting to see him or Gold either…honestly I’m surprised it was that civil…”

Emma frowned then shook her head “I’m not going to let Walsh ruin my night; that ‘snack’ was amazing by the way!”

Killian feigned surprise “better than McDonalds?”

She laughed and nudged him in the ribs with her elbow “well…maybe _as_ good…”

Killian snorted then offered his arm, “come on Swan, just a short walk, to The Jolly Roger; let’s sail away!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Killian's 'friend date'! You're going to hear Killian's backstory and see their relationship developing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a couple days late, I had a really busy weekend but I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think.

Killian opened the side door to The Jolly Roger, signalling to Emma to go inside.  She stepped straight into the kitchen; the lights were on, she could the hum of machines in the background and…was that music?

“What have you been up to Mr. Jones?”

She slowly walked around the industrial kitchen taking it all in. There were pots boiling on the stove, the oven was on, an array of tools were laid out neatly on the work surface; a blow torch, a long rubber tube attached to a cylinder, some safety goggles, and a selection of knives. He stood in the doorway smirking while watching her trying to figure out what he was making.

“Is this where I find out you’re a serial killer who likes to torture his victims then bake them into pies?”

He chuckled. “Not exactly what I had planned for tonight.” shrugging off his coat and hanging it up by the door he made his way across the kitchen, reaching up on a shelf and grabbing a bottle of red wine he tucked under his left arm and then brought down a wine glass and walked back to Emma. 

“May I offer you some wine, Miss Swan?”

His voice was so low and smooth goose-bumps instantly crept up her arms. She bit her lip, trying to stop the flirtatious smile appearing on her lips – it didn’t work.

“That would be lovely, you’re not joining me?”

“Another time perhaps” he smiled shyly “I’m designated driver tonight.”

Emma rolled her eyes, but was touched that he wanted to see her home safe.

“Don’t be thinking that means you get the whole bottle though!” He shook his finger at her, “I need you sober for what I have planned.” He winked mischievously and gently slid the wine glass over to her “make yourself at home Emma…oh and don’t drink it yet, I’ll tell you when!”

Emma scrunched up her face in confusion as she watched him slip out of the kitchen; she twirled her wine glass in her hand struck by the fact that she’d only been here for 5 minutes and she already wanted to kiss him. _“Pull yourself together Emma! You’re acting like a horny teenager!”_ It was going to be a long night!

Killian came back in holding a set of wireless speakers.  “Now Emma, most people think good food is just about taste, but they are grossly mistaken!”

Emma giggled. He set the speakers on the worktop, that she had now perched herself on, and connected them to his iphone. 

“Ok, I want to show you something.” he poured a glass of water and set it next to her. “Close your eyes.”

She looked at him sceptically.

“Go on, love, no peeking!”

Emma did as she was told and closed her eyes; he waved his hand in front of her and pulled a silly face, when she had no reaction he was satisfied she couldn’t see. “Now…take a sip of your wine.”

She brought the glass to her lips “mmmm, that’s good” she muttered.

“Let the wine coat your tongue, think about how it tastes, concentrate on the different flavours and notes so you don’t forget. Now open your eyes” She looked at him then down at her wine glass in her hand.

“Take a drink of water” he instructed, and she sipped it then set it down, picking her wine glass up again.

“Good, now close your eyes again.” Emma smiled at the silliness of how seriously Killian was taking this. “Do you remember what the wine tasted like?”

“mmhmmm” she nodded, playing along.

“Ok” He turned the music on, slow sultry Jazz music floated through the air. “Now take another sip”

Emma did and her eyes flew open “That’s a trick! When did you switch it?”

“I didn’t!” Killian laughed.

“But…it tastes different!”

“Because your brain added the information your ears were sending it to what your tongue was sending it too.”

Emma shook her head in amazement, “That’s unbelievable.”

“Everything in my restaurant is carefully chosen, from the music to the interior design, to the plates the food is presented on…everything is specifically selected to enhance the dining experience. Now…you’ve tasted with just your taste and smell, and then your taste, smell and hearing…lets add sight and touch” The way the last word escaped his lips made Emma instinctively swipe her tongue across hers. His gaze lifted from her lips to her eyes, if he looked any harder he’d bore a hole through her. Thoughts flooded his mind, thoughts of pulling her into his arms and biting that lip she seems to keep licking, sucking into his mouth, tasting her neck, her jaw, her tongue.

He shook his head and cleared his throat “eh…why don’t you go sit at the Captain’s table, I’ll bring the food through.”

She nodded and slid off the worktop then swung the door open into the dining room, letting out a breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding. She couldn’t help but think this was a terrible idea, 10 minutes in a kitchen with Killian and the sexual tension was already thick enough to cut with a knife. She’d always found Killian attractive but she was with Walsh…and now she wasn’t but it’d only been three weeks and she’d promised herself she was going to swear off men and being around Killian was making it increasingly difficult to keep that promise.  Then again she could be reading this wrong, Killian might not be interested; it could just be in her head.  Or maybe he was just looking for something casual…and Emma was definitely a relationship girl. What if he did want _more?_ How could she trust him after her last two boyfriends, who seemed genuine at the time but still screwed her over so royally?

She tucked those thoughts away when Killian pushed the cart through the doors, smiling at her like an excited kid.  It was adorable that he was so stoked to make food for her.  He placed two plates with glass bell jar-like lids on the table then sat to join her.  It was impossible to see what was inside because the jar was full of smoke; it was like nothing Emma had ever seen before and she couldn’t wait to see what was inside.

The excitement in her eyes made him grin widely.  “Ok Emma, take off the lid.” He bit his lip in anticipation of her reaction.

She removed the glass lid breathing in deeply as the smoke escaped out dissolving into the air and leaving the aroma of fresh pine, revealing a woodland scene on her plate.  There were two fallen tree trunks, a small pool of dark liquid with ‘rocks’ around it and asparagus and dill trees. 

“Do I need to know anything before I start?” she asked.

“Bon appetit!” He smiled and watched her carefully slide her knife into the tree trunk.

Cutting it revealed it was some kind of medium rare meat; it had a powdered brown coating with lines carved into it to imitate the bark of a tree.  She lifted her fork taking a bite and her eyes instantly widen. “Venison…with dark chocolate? That’s incredible!”

“Try dipping it in the pool, it’s a dark chocolate and red wine jus.”

Emma did as he suggested and moaned as she chewed. “mmm Killian that’s…”

He raised his eyebrow smirking at what she sounded like. “Aye? Don’t hold back, love.”

She blushed, if this was what his cooking was like….what must…

“Emma?”

She choked, “Sorry…I was just enjoying the food…”

“I can see that” His eyes twinkled, what she’d give to know what was going on in that smug head of his.

“So is this where you bring all your friend dates?”

He smiled into his glass of water he was sipping then set it down and ran his fingers through his hair. “Actually you’re my first.”

“Your first date?”

“First ‘friend’ date” he corrected.

“Oh” She bit into one of the ‘rocks’ which turned out to be fondant potatoes with a mushroom dusting on them. She was thoughtful as she munched. “What would have been different if this was a date, like a date date?”

Killian’s demeanour shifted, leaning in with his voice hushed purring “There’s only one way to find out what a date with me is like.” Then giving her a cheeky wink he leaned back in his chair and returned to his food like nothing happened. “How was work this week?”

Emma stared at him, blinking twice.  Did she dream that first part?

“um…yeah it was good, thanks. I have a new kid I’m contact for and he is incredible! So smart, the wildest imagination, and he just takes everything in his stride despite being in group homes most of his life.  He’s seven but I swear you’d think he was 37!”

There was something really attractive about how passionate she was about her job and the way her face lit up when talking about the boy warmed Killian’s heart. “Sounds like this kid has made quite the impression on you!”

“Yeah, I care about all the kids I come into contact with but I guess every now and then you meet one you just feel a connection with…I think you’d like him too, he was reading Peter Pan when I picked him up.”

“I like him already! What’s his name?”

“Henry” She smiled, beaming with maternal pride.

She’d opened up a part of her life to him that she doesn’t normally share, and Killian was grateful for it.

“What made you chose to become a social worker?” There was a tenderness to his voice, like he genuinely wanted to learn more about her and suddenly it dawned on Emma that Walsh had never asked her that question.  It was such a natural and innocent thing to inquire and yet never once did her ex fiancé ask about her passions or goals.  She couldn’t process exactly how that made her feel at the moment, but it gave her the confidence to trust Killian with her story.

“I grew up in the system, getting passed between group homes and foster families, some were ok, and some were awful.  I decided when I was older I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure other kids didn’t share my experiences.” She nervously lifted her eyes to meet his.  Surprisingly she didn’t see the pity she expected but understanding instead.

“My mother died when I was an infant, my father left my brother and I when I was 8 years old.  Liam, my older brother, tried his best to look after me but we didn’t have money and we ended up in a group home…the man running it was an alcoholic and would frequently beat us.  Liam always took the brunt of it, trying to shield me from the blows. Eventually we ran away and lived on the streets.  I’d taught myself how to play guitar in the group home, my guitar and a rucksack each was all we had.  Liam caught pneumonia a few months after and died.  I spent the next 3 years on the streets playing my guitar for money, that’s where I was discovered…no one knows that though, just my manager, the man who discovered me.  We made up a story; it was close to the truth but left out the darker parts.”

She reached out and wrapped her hand around his. “Thank you…for trusting me with that…

He smiled “And you for trusting me! It seems we have a lot in common…it’s really admirable, what you do with those kids…if there is anything I can ever do to help let me know, ok?”

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind” She tucked into her food and after swallowing a mouthful of venison asked, “So you said you’d tell me about your meeting on Monday night…”

“Ah, yes I did, didn’t I? It was with Elsa Arendelle, and it was…well not what I was expecting!” His ears turned pink as he played with the food on his plate.  Emma was intrigued!

“different…how?”

“We were ambushed by her manager, who is also her aunt; the whole thing was set up as a blind date.”

Emma’s eyes widened, once the surprise wore off she felt incredible self-conscious, Elsa Arendelle was beautiful! “You went on a date?” she choked the words out, trying her best to sound unaffected.

Killian jumped to clear any doubt, “No! No, not at all, we were blindsided, once we knew the aunts intentions we both made it very clear it wasn’t what we wanted.  She thought we could use the relationship for publicity, but neither the lass, nor I were interested in a fake relationship.”

 “She is really beautiful” The words slipped out before Emma could think about what she was saying.  Killian sensed she was off, was she jealous? That thought made his heart skip a beat, if she was jealous then she cared, and if she cared maybe there was hope for them after all.

“Aye she is, and talented, sweet, driven, intelligent; she doesn’t need a man or a fake boyfriend to excel, her talent and work ethic will carry her career.”

“You sound like a fan”

Yep, she was definitely jealous!

“Maybe I am now I’ve met her” he said, carefully watching Emma, “but ultimately the heart wants what the heart wants and honestly, my heart doesn’t want her…nor does hers want me I should add! Though she did have an interesting proposition for me…”

Emma lifted her eye to meet his “Oh yeah?”

“She wants to work together on her next album”

“And how do you feel about that?” She felt her jealousy dissolving into compassion; this was obviously a difficult subject for Killian.

He fidgeted with his glass of water, twirling it around on the table while he spoke. “When I lost my hand in the accident I knew I’d never play guitar again, my guitar was all I had left of Liam so it was a big blow. In a way it was like a member of my family but more than that it was my identity.  I wasn’t sure who I was without it and then there was Milah….she was important to me and I lost her too…” he stopped for a moment swallowing a lump in his throat and blinking a few times before continuing.  “I couldn’t even listen to music, let alone think about writing or performing it.  I only started listening to it again when I was opening my restaurant.  I miss it, I miss the creative outlet, but I don’t know if I would be satisfied just writing, it could bring back a lot of painful memories or I may love it and then get the itch for playing back but being unable to scratch it might be torturous.” He shrugged, “So in summary, I guess I don’t know how I feel about it.”

Emma thought for a moment. “You’ve made this whole life for yourself without music, you’ve started at the bottom and climbed right up to the top, that may be a different part of you Killian but it’s still you, the characteristics you needed to achieve that were in you all along, perhaps even nurtured by Liam.  He would be so proud of you and what you’ve accomplished. Maybe this opportunity is a sign that it’s the right time for you to do music again and let that part of you out.  It could be a healing process?”

He looked at her in awe. “Wise words, Emma.  You could be right, I’ll consider it, and thank you, that means a lot.

*

 

They talked for a couple hours about movies, music, their jobs, and everything in between; before they knew it, it was 11:45PM.

“I’m sorry, love, the time seems to have run away from us, and I didn’t even give you dessert!”

She chucked “Oh that’s ok, maybe next time?”

He raised his eyebrow “Are you asking me out on a second friend date, Emma Swan?”

“That depends…” She chewed her lip again, “would you like me to ask you?”

He grinned “If you think you’re up for the challenge…a man likes to be wooed, you know” he winked.

“Please” she scoffed, her eyes glued to his, “You couldn’t handle it”

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it” He popped the ‘t’, slowly brushing his tongue along his teeth.

Emma could feel the heat rising to her face; she was drawn to him with a magnetic pull that she was finding harder to fight as the night went on. He was trying to fluster her and it was working; she thought about kissing that smug look off his face but then maybe that was what he wanted and she refused to give him the satisfaction.  One thing she knew for sure, she wanted to see him again, after tonight she was starting to feel comfortable around him, she trusted him, and he’d trusted her, there was a sense of understanding between them that she’d never had with a friend before.  Mary Margaret and David had loved her unconditionally and Ruby had been a constant support but to have someone who really understood what she’d gone through, that was a comfort she’d never known. Perhaps it was the wine but Emma felt a boldness building inside her that was completely uncharacteristic but real nonetheless. Killian had opened up to her, he was a public figure and he’d shared a part of his past he’d worked to keep hidden.  Losing herself in those blue eyes, she couldn’t act on the sexual tension, she just wasn’t ready for any kind of intimacy yet but she hoped he could wait.

His face started to falter as she stared at him, obviously battling some sort of internal conflict.  He was just beginning to worry he’d pushed her too far when she reached out and took his hand.  His teasing smirk had transformed into a nervous but hopeful smile.

“Killian…” he gripped her hand tighter as it started to shake slightly. “I want to be honest with you, because I’ve come to care about you and I do consider you a friend.  I…I’m just not ready…” Her eyes started to water, “my heart’s not ready for anything more…”

Killian jumped up from his seat and rushed over to her, kneeling beside her and reaching his thumb up to wipe a tear falling down her cheek. “shhhh…Emma, please don’t cry.  It’s ok, I didn’t mean to pressure you, that’s the last thing I’d want to do…”

“No, I know…” she sniffled, “It’s just I wish I was ready, I wish I could be with someone like you…it’s just too hard right now.”

He took her hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing them softly. “The last thing I want is for you to be hurting. It’s such an honour to me to have you in my life in any capacity; if that just means friends then I couldn’t ask for a better one! If it means one day down the line, when you’re ready, we become something more…well; honestly, I’d consider myself extremely lucky! But please don’t feel pressured, just know that I admire you greatly and am grateful that you have allowed me into your life.”

His words were genuine and it broke her heart.  What was wrong with her that she couldn’t let herself be with someone this amazing? She sighed, “thank you”.

He stood and offered his hand to help her up. Their fingers stayed intertwined as he led her to the kitchen and grabbed her coat, separating just so he could help her put it on. He drove her home, stopping outside and putting the car in park so he could turn and talk to her. 

She beat him to it, “Killian I had a really great time, the food was incredible and I loved getting to know you better, I’m sorry about my meltdown at the end.  I promise I’m not always this much of an emotional wreck!”

He tilted his head, half smiling.  “It’s not a problem, love, I’m grateful you felt you could be honest with me.  Look, I am leaving the country tomorrow…” 

Her eyes flew open.

“Just for two weeks!” He assured her.  “I have to go to Australia for work, I’m on their Masterchef and I have a few other things I have to do there.  If it’s ok with you though, I’d like to stay in touch…maybe FaceTime?” He scratched nervously behind his ear. “Or e-mail?”

She smiled “I’d like that…” What she meant to say was ‘I’ll miss you’ but she wasn’t that brave yet! She tried to lighten the mood a bit instead. “You could bring me back one of those hats!”

“Like the ones with the corks hanging down?”

“That’s the one!”

“I will get you a hat Emma Swan.” He said with a determination that amused her no end.

She giggled then opened the car door. “Goodbye Killian, and thanks again for tonight! Have a safe trip.”

“Goodbye Emma, I’ll be in touch.”

He waited until she walked to her apartment and disappeared though the door then released a deep breath and put the car in drive.  It was going to be a long two weeks without Emma Swan around.


	8. Chapter 8

The first week Killian was away passed relatively quickly, Emma busied herself at her two jobs during the day and spent her evenings interviewing possible tenants to move in with her.  It was Sunday afternoon and she was meeting with the last two options; Marie, who was sitting in front of her right now, and one more interview right after. 

Marie was in her late 30’s and worked at an animal shelter. The mousy brunette was nice enough, though her perpetual sneezing was unsettling.  Emma read through her list of questions; once satisfied Marie had answered everything she asked, “Do you have any questions for me?”

The girl pushed her glasses up her nose “Oh yes, I have 6 cats, would that be a problem?”

“Um…” Emma stammered “I’ll think about it and get back to you on that.”

There was a knock at the door “Oh that will be my next interview!” Emma jumped up and walked to the door, “It was nice meeting you Marie; I’ll let you know my decision this week!”

She opened her front door to let Marie out; standing in front of her was a tall leather jacket clad man with dark hair, stubble covering his defined jaw and the second most piercing pair of eyes she’d ever seen. He nodded a ‘hi’ to Marie as she left then looked at Emma with a charming smile.

“Emma Swan? My name is August Booth; I’m here about the room.”

“August! Yes, of course, please come in and have a seat. He followed her into the apartment and sat down on her couch.  Emma perched on the coffee table across from him opening her iPad to find her questions. 

“So August, I’m leasing out the master bedroom suit, I’ll show you it in a second, and I don’t really have many rules, just tidy up after yourself and don’t drink milk from the carton I guess. I recently redecorated the apartment but you’d be welcome to make your room your own, I don’t really mind.  Hmmm…let’s see what else…I don’t have any pets…I’m not a smoker, I pretty much keep to myself.  Actually I’m not here that often I work full time so I’d just be around evenings and weekends.”

He listened attentively to her list through everything she could think of.

“Do you have any questions for me?”

Without a second thought he said, “Yes, a couple.” His voice was calm, controlled and surprisingly soothing, in contrast to his edgy look. “Why are you not staying in the master bedroom?”

“Oh” Emma fidgeted; she hadn’t been asked that yet, it was a fair enough question. “I…um used to stay there but it holds some bad memories for me…I found my fiancé cheating on me…” her voice drifted off.

He nodded his head, “that makes sense…can I see the room?”

“Yeah, of course!” She jumped to her feet, “right this way.”

She showed him around the roomy Master Suite and he seemed happy enough. “Can I ask what it is you do?” Emma questioned him.

“I’m a writer, so I need a quiet place to work on my book, I wanted New York City as a backdrop for my inspiration, and this apartment is the perfect location.  I could give you the first 6 month’s rent upfront in cash today if you’re happy to have me as a housemate.  I’m quiet, clean, and mind my own business.”

“Sounds perfect!” Emma grinned, and then held out her hand. 

He shook it and asked, “When can I move in?”

“As soon as you like!  The room is ready”

“Great I’ll move in tomorrow then, here is the first 6 months’ rent” he handed her a thick envelope.

“Um…thanks, well August it was nice meeting you.” She tried to hide her surprise at how easy this had been.

“You too Emma, I look forward to co-habiting with you” he grinned.   

 

*

Emma sat crossed legged on her couch that evening tucking into a box of sweet and sour chicken and watching a cooking show on TV for the first time in her life! Her cell began to vibrate beside her; Killian was calling her on FaceTime.  Emma panicked for a moment, she was in sweats, her hair up in a bun and unsure of how much of that day’s make-up was still on her face.  She took a deep breath “ _He’s just a friend Emma, friends don’t care about you not looking your best”_ she reminded herself, pushed her insecurities aside, and summoned her courage. She tapped the accept button and Killian’s face filled her screen; he was outside with an ocean view, the sunrise behind his shoulder, just peeking over the horizon.

//

As soon as her face filled his screen his chest tightened, god he missed her! It’d been ten days since their ‘date’ (that’s what he was calling it anyway) and the first time he’d had a chance to call her since arriving in Australia; a quick text saying he arrived safely, and the occasional one whenever he had a moment free  was all he’d managed so far.  He didn’t say anything at first, just took in the glorious sight of her sitting there smiling nervously with her golden hair pulled off her face, a slight pink blush on her cheeks, wearing a white tank top that clung to her pale skin magnificently and some sweats. It was Emma in her most comfortable beautiful state and her sharing that moment with him felt intimate in a way he didn’t expect. 

“Swan, I’ve missed you! How have you been?” he asked beaming.

She shrugged, “Good thanks, actually ‘bloody brilliant’” she mocked his accent.

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled “how so?”

“I’ve been very productive today, I’ve found a new tenant, called August, who kindly paid 6 months’ rent in cash up front and so I’ve quit my job at Gold’s!” she announced triumphantly.

“That’s great news Emma!” Thank god she could leave that place and they could wash their hands of Gold and Walsh once and for all! He was so pleased for her, knowing how much it meant to her to only have to work one job.  A thought shot into his head making him frown. “Is August a boy’s name or a girl’s name?” he asked.

“Um…does it matter?”

She avoided his question; he tried to fight the anxiousness swirling inside him. “Humour me, Swan”

She raised her chin defiantly and replied “it’s a boy’s name…well man, he’s a man, is that going to be a problem?”

He could sense her annoyance at his questioning, he knew it shouldn’t bother him but he’d waited for Emma and the thought of another man moving in and spending all his free time with her when Killian struggled to pencil in a couple hours a week to see her with his manic schedule. What if it wasn’t enough, what if this new guy fell for Emma too; what chance would he have.

 

//

He sat there looking away silently; Emma could see the cogs spinning in his mind. “Killian…” she said in a quiet voice, he slowly turned back at the screen to look at her.  “I needed a tenant so I could quit my job; he was the best option, that’s all.” She hoped that would be enough, she couldn’t promise anything else right now, but honestly she couldn’t imagine anyone comparing to Killian. 

He still looked a little hesitant. “Besides, I swore off men, remember?” She added.

“Ah, but that didn’t stop you having dinner with me!”

“You’re right” she thought for a moment then shrugged her shoulders “…you’re a very bad influence!”

There it was, his smile was back, along with that flirty twinkle in his eye, she knew he was holding back the innuendos, he was really trying to take this at her pace and she adored him for it.

Scratching behind his ear he changed the subject. “So how are you spending your evening Swan?”

She sighed and looked around her living room, “I’m just crashed on my couch eating Chinese and watching TV.”

He opened his mouth then closed it again, no doubt he was about to make a comment about her eating habits then thought better of it, instead he asked “What are you watching?”

“Some cooking show with an old lady from England making something called ‘Yorkshire Puddings?’ whatever the hell they are!”

“Swan, you’ve never had a Yorkshire pudding?”  He sounded appalled.

“I’ve never even heard of them, she must not be a very good cook because they don’t look anything like pudding and ewww…why are they eating pudding with their main course?”

Killian threw his head back laughing. “They aren’t a dessert, Emma!  Looks like I’m going to have to make you a proper English roast when I come home!”

“I dunno…they don’t look too appetising…”

“Who’s the chef?”

“Some old lady…here I’ll show you…” she flipped the camera on her phone so he could see the TV.

“Emma, that’s Mary Berry!”

“Um…should I know her?”

“She is a culinary legend, haven’t you heard of The Great British Bake Off?”

“Nope…” she flipped the camera back to her so he could see her confused look.

“Mary Berry is amazing! You need to check it out, promise me you’ll watch it!”

“Wait...are you fangirling over an 80 year old woman? Do you want me to switch the camera again so you can look at her puddings instead of my face?” she teased, feigning annoyance.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, love, besides the only ‘puddings’ I want to see…”He stopped when he saw her raised eyebrow, “Never mind” he muttered then rubbed his hand over his face, “Ok Emma, next ‘friend date’ you’re coming to mine for a roast dinner and Great British Bake Off marathon!”

“Hey I thought I was organising it!”

“Already planned your date then, Swan?” He bit his lip smiling mischievously. “Do I get a clue? God, please tell me you’re not taking me to McDonalds!”

She folded her arms across her chest, pouting. “Have you no faith in me, Jones?”

“On the contrary, Swan, I’m looking forward to it.  We could get hot dogs from a street vender and I’d be happy just to be in your company.” He confessed, all teasing aside.

She blushed. “Well there are two ideas already; you’re making this too easy for me!”

She heard a voice in the background and Killian looked over his shoulder, “That’s my manager just arrived Emma, I’m going to have to go and get ready, but I just wanted you to see the sunrise here with me and let you know before you go to sleep that you’re waking up to a beautiful day tomorrow.”

Her heart swelled; beating so loudly she was afraid he’d hear it.  She played it off, rolling her eyes at him, pretending his words didn’t awake a longing in her heart to be in his arms, wrapped in his kisses watching that glorious sunrise together. “I’ll let you go Killian, have a good day!”

“Goodnight, love.”

 

*

 

“So what do you need my help with?” Henry asked skimming a stone across the lake she’d brought him to.  Emma had taken him for a hike on the Reynolds respite day; Mrs Reynolds had expressed a worry that Henry spends so much time reading books and playing video games and needed some fresh air.

“I need to organise a day with a friend and I’m fresh out of ideas, I want them to have a really good time and they are a big Peter Pan fan, I noticed you were reading it…it’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie and I thought maybe you could give me some ideas?” She picked up a smooth stone and tossed it into the lake watching it hop along the water, not quite getting the distance his did.

Henry stopped and turned to her, grinning slyly. “Is this a date?”

“What? No! I’m taking you today for the Reynold’s respite, I thought you’d like to go on a hike, see the kind of landscape you’d find in those stories you read…”

“Not this!” He rolled his eyes, “The one you want me to help you with, your ‘friend’, you’re planning a date, aren’t you.”

Emma’s jaw dropped, “I…no, it’s just a friend” she stammered, fidgeting with the sleeves of her sweater.

“Usually friends just hang out…you seem really anxious about what this guy is going to think about it, and you…do you like him? Is that why you’re putting all this pressure on yourself?”

She stared in disbelief at the 7 year old standing before her, where did they find this kid? “You know, for a kid, you’re very perceptive!”

“So you do like him!”

Emma sighed slumping her shoulders; “I don’t know” she lied. 

Henry smiled knowingly, he liked Emma; she’d been kind to him and talked to him like he mattered.  The other social workers he’d come across treated him like a job, just another file they needed to write a report on, someone they needed to ‘deal’ with quickly so they could check him off their list.  Emma took the time to get to know him, listened when he talked, and seemed genuinely interested in him; he wanted her to be happy. 

“Ok, I’ll help you, but we need a name for the mission…operation…” he looked to the sky for inspiration, “…sky hawk”

“Operation Sky Hawk; what does that have to do with anything?”

“Exactly! That’s what makes it the perfect code name; no one will guess what it means!”

Laughing, Emma put her arm around Henry’s shoulder, “You’re something else, kid! Let’s get to work!”

 

*

Emma didn’t understand why everyone was looking at her grinning and talking in hushed whispers when she arrived at work on Thursday, though she had a pretty good idea once she set foot in her office to find an oversized bouquet of red roses sitting on her desk.  _“I’m going to kill him!”_ she thought, cursing Killian for such a gaudy display of his feelings in a public place, she was mortified and clueless trying to figure out how she would explain this to her co-workers.  _“What the hell was he thinking?!”_

She approached her desk tentatively eyeing the arrangement.  There had to be at least 30 roses, each one with a crystal pin in its centre, filled out with greenery and twisted willow sprayed silver.  It was so over the top and couldn’t have been further from her taste.  She had a hard time picturing Killian sending something so flamboyant and tasteless.  Perhaps he didn’t understand her as well as she thought.

Her attention was drawn to a card sitting in the bouquet; she turned it over to read:

 

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and miss you.

It’s time you realised we belong together

I’m coming for you Emma.

 

A frown crept across her face; if he was going for romantic gesture he was way off, it was almost creepy, and what happened to being patient and waiting for Emma to be ready in her own time? The door banged open making her jump in the air. “What the…”

“Emma!” Mary Margaret rushed over to her, “These flowers are unreal, and who sent you them?”

“I guess Killian…I can’t think who else…” she drifted off reading the note again; something about those words sent a chill down her spine. Mary Margaret looked over her shoulder at the card.

“Sounds a bit possessive, doesn’t it?”

“yeah…I just don’t understand, this seems so out of character for him.  Am I really that bad at reading men?

“I’ve not met the guy but this reads a bit creepy.  I thought you two were just friends?”

“We are”

“Sounds like he wants it to be more Emma, be careful.”

The concern in her mother’s voice matched with her worried expression just made Emma even more anxious.  “I will” she muttered.

After Mary Margaret left Emma tried to work but her eyes kept going back to the massive bunch of flowers she’d tried to tuck away in the corner of the room.  She was annoyed at Killian, why did he have to make such a spectacle? Having flowers that grand sent to her place of work was just showing off and frankly it felt manipulative.  The more she thought about it the angrier she got. 

 

When it was time to head home she picked up her bag, leaving the flowers in the corner of the room, unsure of what to do with them, and pulled on her duffel coat.  The flowers were still on her mind as she walked down the block; she thought about messaging Killian but didn’t know what to say.  On reflection perhaps she had over reacted because she was embarrassed about the attention they drew to her, she’d been the main topic of the office gossip that day.  The truth was she cared for Killian and he was just trying to do something nice, he was way off but their friendship was still relatively new, he’d learn in time what was too far for her.  She replayed their conversations they’d had over FaceTime in her mind wondering if she had said something that gave him the impression she wanted to move things along quicker.

She was so deep in thought she hadn’t registered the footsteps shadowing her at a steady pace since leaving work.  If she wasn’t so busy puzzling over the card message that had seemed so out of character she may have noticed the figure following her reflected in the shop windows she marched past.  It wasn’t until Emma was going down to the subway that she heard the echo of feet behind her, she turned to look just as the train arrived and people filled the platform, she squinted through the sea of faces and saw a man standing still looking at her, was that…Walsh?

“Oh, sorry!” A woman crashed into her with her stroller.

“No, its fine, sorry, I should have been standing still, that’s my train anyway” she hurried on before the doors closed.

Once she sat down her phone ran; looking up around her carriage for any sign of Walsh she answered with a distracted “hello”

“Emma, it’s me!”

“Ruby? Whose number are you calling from?”

“It’s Victor’s cell, my batter died, listen; I’m outside work but when I was cleaning the kitchen earlier the office door wasn’t shut all the way and I heard Walsh and Gold talking.  Walsh said something about everything being in place and Killian not knowing what hit him.  I heard something about a health inspector; that was all I could make out, I’m sorry! It sounds like they are going to try and do something to hurt Killian’s restaurant.”

“Are you sure?” Emma whispered down the phone.

“Yes, that’s what I heard! Oh and Emma…Walsh mentioned you too, said you’d regret leaving him.”

Emma froze; the note, the flowers, the man in the coat; she was pretty sure now that it was Walsh she’d seen at the subway station. “Ruby, I think Walsh might be following me.”

“Emma, I’m calling David!”

“Ok, I’m just two stops away from home, I’ll see if my new tenant can meet me at the station.”

She hung up and called August.

“Hey, Emma!”

“August, I can explain later but are you able to come meet me at the station? I think I’m being followed and I’m scared.”

He could hear the fear in her voice as she whispered to him.

“I’m leaving now, Emma, I’ll be there when you arrive!”

She ended the call and looked nervously around the carriage, there were two women chatting excitedly about a play there were going to see that night, a family of tourists all staring at the same phone looking through pictures they’d taken that day, an older man sitting with his eyes shut, and a younger man reading a book; all seemed harmless enough.  She wondered if Walsh was in the next carriage or somewhere on the train at least. 

She’d lived with Walsh for years but somehow after everything that happened today she was left feeling terrorised.  Was it all just a cruel joke or was Walsh actually dangerous? He’d always seemed so laidback but then Killian did say he got into a fight, and according to Ruby he was planning to attack Killian’s reputation and potentially have his restaurant closed down, she found herself wondering just what kind of man her ex fiancé was?

 

*

 

As they slowed down for her stop she walked towards the door and let released a huge sigh of relief when she saw August standing waiting for her.  As soon as the doors opened she rushed to his side.

“Emma! Are you ok?” He grabbed her arm while his eyes searched hers for confirmation she was alright.

“Yeah, I’m ok; I’ll explain when we get home, thank you for meeting me!”

As he led her out of the station she looked back over her shoulder, she caught a glimpse of a hunter green jacket and burgundy scarf; she’d bought Walsh for Christmas last year, disappearing into the crowd.

*

They shut the door behind them and now safe in her home the seriousness of what was happening made Emma begin to shake. August helped her get her coat off and gave her a hug.

“Hey, hey its ok, you’re safe here, what the hell is going on Emma?”

“It’s my ex fiancé, he was following me! I went to work today and there was a giant bouquet of flowers on my desk with this card” she fished the card out of her bag and shoved it into August’s hand, his brow furrowed as he read the message. “Then I realised I was being followed and my friend called me to tell me she heard overheard Walsh saying he was going to try and hurt one of my friends businesses and something about me regretting leaving him, next thing I knew I saw him from a distance, he was there…he was following me August!”

“Shhh, Emma its ok” He pulled back, resting his hands on her shoulders. “Let me make you a cup of tea.”

She nodded and sat down on the couch, trying desperately to calm her nerves only to jump up again. “I need to call Tink, if they are planning something at the Jolly Roger she needs to know!”

August raised his eyebrows, “Tink…Jolly Roger…Emma are you sure you’re ok?”

“yes, nevermind” she waved him away with her hand while she waiting for Tink to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Tink, its Emma!”

“Oh hey Emma, how are you?”

“I’m ok, look, I have it on good authority that Walsh is planning on doing something at the Jolly Roger, something to do with a health inspector…I think he is trying to organise something that means you won’t pass your inspection.”

“Really? Well I wouldn’t put it past him, I suppose.”

“Just keep an eye out and be on high alert”

“Will do, Emma, thanks for the warning!”

 

August handed Emma her cup of tea. “If you think you are in danger maybe you should call the police?”

“I don’t have any proof!” Emma sighed.

Just then David opened the apartment door and rushed in, “Emma? Emma, are you alright?” he cupped her face in his hands checking she was ok then pulled her into his arms, his hand holding the back of her head. 

“I’m fine, just shaken up; I don’t even know for sure that it was Walsh I saw…” Now in the safety of her home she was already beginning to doubt herself, what if her imagination had run wild and now she’d worried everyone over nothing.

“Emma, when I met you at the station you were trembling with fear, maybe you should stay with your parents tonight, just to make sure.  Your ex may not be dangerous but he did enough today to scare you and until you know if he really is a threat you should take every precaution.” August suggested.

“I agree!” David stepped forward offering his hand to Emma’s housemate, “David Nolan, we’ve not met, I’m Emma’s father.”

“Pleasure’s all mine” August turned to Emma, “Go with your father, I’ll stay here and make sure if your ex comes here he understands that he’s not welcome!” There was a cold determination in his eyes that gave Emma the impression that August Booth was not a man you wanted to get on the wrong side of.

*

 

Killian looked out the plane window at the NYC skyline, barely able to contain his excitement.  He’d made arrangements so he could come home a day early and surprise Emma; it may have involved negotiating a book signing and extra magazine interview and missing out on much needed sleep but if that meant seeing Emma sooner it was worth it. The trip had been hard, he was so busy and with the time difference he hadn’t been able to talk to Emma nearly as much as he had hoped.  They’re relationship, no friendship, was still so new he was eager to get back to spending time with her before things fizzled out.  He needed to show her that she was important enough for him to change he schedule for; that work wouldn’t get in the way of him spending time with her.

Two hours later he was knocking on her door, her gift in hand, anticipation boiling over inside him. The door opened and his smile faded instantly when he was faced with a dark haired man with his arms crossed staring menacingly at him.

“Can I help you?” The man grunted.

“I’m looking for Emma…”

“She doesn’t want to see you. I’m going to need to ask you to leave!”

Killian’s eyes darkened, sizing up the man before him.  “I think you’re mistaken, if you tell her I’m here, I’m sure she’ll want to see me.”

“I asked you to leave” August growled.

Killian took a step forward, unwilling to back down. “Listen, mate, I have spent all day getting to Emma and I’m not going to let you keep me from her, she wants to see me, I’m sure of it. If you let me explain who I am you’ll understand…”

August stepped forward so he was right in Killian’s face “I know exactly who you are and how you’ve spent your day ‘getting to her’ and you listen to me, mate!” He mimicked Killian’s accent on the ‘mate’, “She is over you, whatever relationship you imagined you two might have, she’s not interested, she asked me to send you away if you showed up so if you care about her at all, if there is any shred of decency in you leave her alone. And make no mistake; if you come back here again, I am prepared to make sure you regret it, understand?” He spat, a fire burning behind his eyes.

“Loud and clear” Killian murmured angrily, then turned and left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, sorry this took so long to update! Thank you so much for all your comments, I love reading them! Hope you enjoy this chapter. The // means a change in POV

The sunlight streamed through a crack in her bedroom curtains, kissing her face and causing her to stir, stretching until her arms reached above her head and her toes poked out from under her covers.  Relaxing, she sunk back into her mattress, a smile spread across her face and she whispered “No more sleeps”.

Her body clung to sleep, pulling her sheets tighter, reluctant to start the day quite yet; however in stark contrast, the butterflies in her stomach were already fluttering frantically; today was the day that Killian came home!

God, she’d missed him; his friendship, his flirting, his judgement free understanding and willingness, no, eagerness to listen to her.  The colour rose to her cheeks as she thought back on their FaceTime conversation.  He’d wanted to share the sunrise with her, it was sweet and romantic, and nothing like anything any of the past men in her life would have done; perhaps it was time to allow Killian out of the friend zone.

The mere prospect of it both thrilled and terrified her.  There were plenty of reasons why dating Killian Jones was a terrible idea; his celebrity status, crazy work schedule, and jet set lifestyle, to name a few, not to mention her awful track record with men! Killian just seemed different, she couldn’t put her finger on it, but she just had this overwhelming sense of peace and belonging when she was with him. It just felt like…home. If he could make her feel that way just as her friend surely there was potential for more?

She made up her mind; she would tell Killian she was ready to take their relationship to the next step.

 

 

Killian threw back his blanket, finally giving up on any attempt at sleep.  The jet-lag didn’t help but the real reason he was so restless was the sudden change in Emma.  He had been completely blindsided by her reaction, and the fact that he had to hear it from that that guy she’d barely known for a week but seemed close enough to confide in just added insult to injury.  Was he supposed to accept that he had nothing to do with this; he must have thought he won the lottery when he applied for the room and saw who he’d be living with; throw in a bad breakup story and he must have thanked his lucky stars that he showed up just in time to offer a shoulder.  It didn’t miss Killian’s attention that the new tenant was similar to him and Walsh, tall, dark hair, stubble, Emma obviously had a type!

His feet hit the floor, sinking into his rug. A groan escaped his lips as he stretched up, straining his tired muscles; time to try a new technique to calm his anxious mind and restless body.  He pulled on some grey sweats and hoodie then dug around his closet pulling out a pair of running shoes. 

 

His feet carried him to North Cove, where he docked his yacht, as they often did.  The water was a constant calming effect in Killian’s life. He grew up beside the river Thames in London and often sat with Liam watching the boats come and go, dreaming of having one of his own.  Now that dream was a reality but Liam wasn’t here to see it; he longed to go sailing with his brother at his side. He looked out at the horizon, panting and dripping with sweat from his run, with a sigh; Liam would know what to do about Emma.  He had been told to stay away, but his life moto kept running through his mind, the lesson Liam had drilled into him since he was a lad, what he lived by day by day – A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets.  He couldn’t help but feel like he needed to fight for Emma; if something scared her away he needed to find a way to fix it.

Something August had said stuck out as odd, _“I know exactly who you are and how you’ve spent your day ‘getting to her’”_ What was he talking about, flying home from Australia? It made no sense for him to spit his words out like that if that’s what he meant.  There was no way Emma could have known he was coming home a day early to surprise her, only he and Leeroy knew that, so how did August know? Not to mention the last time he spoke to Emma she seemed really happy to see him, none of it made sense!

He ran his fingers through his sticky hair, leaving it spiked slightly, and started his run back home, mind made up that he’d go to Emma’s work and speak to her where August couldn’t stand in his way.

 

*

 

Sometimes you just have those days where nothing goes right; you stub your toe as soon as you get out of bed, you turn on the shower and only cold water pours out, your toast burns, your coffee’s cold, and a rain cloud seems to follow you wherever you go.  Emma’s day couldn’t be further from this.  For the first time in a long time she felt as though she was walking on sunshine; birds sang sweetly in the trees, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, traffic was surprisingly stress free on her commute to work, there was no line at Starbucks and the card machine was broken so they handed her the pumpkin spice latte free of change and with a smile on their face.  Strangers smiled and nodded ‘hello’ to Emma as she skipped past them hurrying to work. Nothing could dampen her mood today, it was as if the universe knew that Killian was coming home and it was celebrating along with her.

She walked along the hall and just when she was about to turn the corner to her office she collided with someone with an almighty thud, dropping her bag and her coffee down her front and all over the floor.

 

//

 

He’d found her place of employment and asked at reception where her office was, a short walk down the hallway got him to his destination.  The lights were still out but he tried the handle and the door swung open.  Stepping inside he glanced around the room, there weren’t many sentimental touches, a single frame on her desk with a picture of her with Mary Margaret and David.  Feeling like his presence in her office without her was an invasion of privacy he turned to leave but stopped in his tracks.  There on the floor was a huge bouquet of red roses. Someone had sent Emma flowers, did she have a secret admirer?  It wouldn’t surprise him; Emma was beautiful and now available. Maybe they were from August, there was no telling how close they’d become while Killian was away, it would just be his luck…

It didn’t really matter who they were from, they weren’t from him and that made his heart drop.  Emma must have changed her mind and moved on, he suddenly felt extremely self-conscious being there. He quickly darted out of the office too upset to notice the happy blonde coming towards him until their bodies crashed together.

“Ugh!” Emma squealed as her coffee splashed down her front.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, shit! Here let me help you!” Killian said quickly picking up the contents of the woman’s bag on the floor until he saw letters with her name on them. His head shot up just as she stopped wiping her blouse and looked at him. Both stood there for a second with they’re jaws hitting the floor.

“erm…sorry…I just thought…um…I’ll let you get to work.” He murmured sheepishly, handed her her things then started to walk away.

“Killian?” Her voice stopped him, she didn’t sound angry or upset that he’d come…she sounded confused. He turned to face her, his eyes searching hers for some sort of clue to what happened between them.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just go” He said quietly and walked away.

Emma stood there, covered in coffee holding her belongings speechless at what just occured. That was certainly not the reunion she had imagined when she woke up this morning!

 

*

 

Working was almost impossible that day, Emma just couldn’t figure out Killian’s reaction to her, if he didn’t want to see her then why was he there?  She tapped her pen distractedly staring out the window for answers. She’d left her phone on her desk, something she never did at work, and she spent the day willing it to ring and for Killian to explain what happened.

The day had moved at a snail’s pace, Mary Margaret popped her head in the door at 4pm.

“You ok Emma? You look a little distracted…”

“huh? Oh, it’s nothing…I mean I don’t really know what it is…”

Mary Margaret watched her daughter suspiciously, “uh huh?” She knew Emma would talk to her in her own time so she didn’t push.  “I’m just here about your flowers; you had said something about donating them to the home for the elderly.  David said he could pick them up later…if that’s still what you want…?”

Emma’s eyes widened, “The flowers!” Of course, Killian saw her flowers, he must think she is dating someone. “Oh God, those stupid flowers!”

“Emma?” Her mother asked.

“Yes get rid of them! I…I need to go, there’s been a big misunderstanding!” She jumped to her feet and grabbing her purse ran out the office.

She hailed a cab and realised she had no idea where Killian would be and that she was still covered in coffee.  She gave the cab driver her address, she’d go home, get changed and try to find out where Killian would be, she had Tink’s number, perhaps she could help.

August was sitting at the table in front of his typewriter, he insisted on writing his book on it instead of a computer; that was just one of his many quirks she was becoming accustomed to.  He smiled up at her.

“Hey Emma” He frowned seeing her stained clothes.  “Either you’re embracing a fashion trend I’m not aware of or you’ve had an interesting day!”

“Interesting doesn’t begin to describe it! I’m going to jump in the shower and get changed”.

Once she got out the shower she stood in the middle of her room in her towel, she tried to decide what to wear even though she didn’t know yet where she was going.  She picked up her phone and called Tink.

“Hey Emma!”

“Hi Tink, hey, you don’t know by any chance where Killian is?”

“Uh, I think he’s at home, he said he was going to check out Tiger Lily tonight.”

“Thanks Tink!”

She pulled on a pair of jeans and hoodie for now, and went back through to August.

“You want me to make us some dinner?” She asked him over her shoulder, inspecting the lack lustre contents of their fridge.

“Why don’t you let me order in for us, my treat!” He offered instead…he’d fallen victim to Emma’s cooking before.

“Probably best” she surrendered, plopping down on the couch and propping her feet up she turned on the TV to try and distract her from thinking about Killian; she couldn’t do anything until tonight.

 

*

 

August joined her on the couch when the pizza arrived, now without the distraction of writing his book he noticed Emma seemed a little on edge and was constantly checking her phone.

“So I made good headway on my book today, I’d hit a bit of writers block but I think I’m over the worst of it…”

“hmm” Emma mumbled

He watched her staring off in the distance while she slowly munched the same piece of pizza she had been for the past 20 minutes.

“I won the lottery today…12 million…I think I might buy a yacht…or maybe my own baseball team…how much do you think they go for?”

“hmm” she replied again.

He smiled at her, determined to get her attention.

“Mind you I should probably spend the money on hiring someone to dispose of that body…I’d hate for the police to come round and start asking awkward questions…”

“Huh, wait what?” she spluttered.

August laughed. “What’s got you so distracted Emma?  Has Walsh been bothering you again?”

“I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind; I’m the worst housemate! And no, I’ve not heard anything from Walsh since yesterday.”

“Good! Glad our little chat worked!”

She scrunched up her face, “You talked to Walsh?”

“Yeah he came round here last night wanting to see you so I had a little friendly chat and told him to stay away”

Emma took another bite of pizza mulling over this new information.

“Huh, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he came over…what did he say?”

“Oh just that he wanted to see you and when I said you didn’t want to see him he seemed genuinely surprised!”

“Ha!” Emma spat out a bit of pizza “That’s Walsh, he is so full of himself, and he just can’t imagine a woman not wanting to throw herself at him.”

“He sounds like a real piece of work…I was surprised though…I don’t know why but I just assumed he’d be from around here, I wasn’t expecting an English accent…I’ve always loved their accents…there’s just something about it, it sounds so sophisticated and cool…”

Emma’s slice of pizza hit the floor “What did you say?”

“His accent, it’s cool! I can see why girls would go for him”

All the colour drained from Emma’s face. “Tell me exactly what you said to him!”

August was taken aback by the change in her, the look of horror on her face caused a pit to form in his stomach and he didn’t know why.

“Um…I dunno, he just said he’d spent all day trying to get to you and asked if I knew who he was and I said I knew exactly who he was and how he’d been spending all day getting to you but that you didn’t want to see him anymore and if he cared about you at all he’d respect that and leave you alone…something along those lines…”

She sat there, mouth agape, eyes squeezed shut for a second then started whispering “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Yes, yes you did! I mean you had the best intentions and that is really sweet but it wasn’t Walsh!”

“It wasn’t?”

Emma buried her face in her hands.  No wonder Killian had acted like that, August threatened him then he saw all those flowers in her office...what must he think of her? She had to fix this tonight!

“Who was it then?” He asked, panic stricken.

“A friend of mine, a guy a like a lot, and he likes me…we were just taking things slow and being friends just since it’s been so soon since Walsh…he’d been in Australia, he was supposed to come home today but he must have come home a day early to surprise me…”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry Emma, I’m such an idiot! How can I fix this?”

“Come out with me tonight, I know where he’ll be, you could help me explain!”

“I can do that, and Emma, I’m really sorry!”

She sighed “It’s ok; you thought you were protecting me.

 

*

 

Emma walked out her room wearing a black leather skirt and red sheer blouse with a pair of knee high leather boots and her hair in soft loose curls contrasting the edgy look. August’s eyes widened when he saw her.

“Wow Emma, you scrub up well!”

She giggled, taking in his dark jeans, fitted black shirt and leather jacket.

“You don’t look so bad yourself!”

He opened the door for them. “Ok Emma, let’s go get your man!”

 

*

 

Tiger Lily was heaving with people when August and Emma arrived, they scanned the sea of faces trying to catch a glimpse of where Killian could be.  Unable to find him Emma marched over to the bar and caught the attention of the bartender.

“What can I get you, doll?” He asked with a wink.

“You can tell me where Killian Jones is”

“He’s in the office, anything I can do for you?” His eyes raked over her body unapologetically.

She leaned in flirtatiously, her lips centimetres from his ear and said, “You can tell him his girlfriend Emma is here and really needs to see him, it’s…an emergency”

The bartender immediately stopped flirting, not wanting to get in trouble for making a move on his boss’s girlfriend. “I’ll let him know” He offered and scampered off.

 “Ok, hopefully that’ll get his attention” Emma shouted over the music to August who was standing there awkwardly wondering what this guy was going to do when he saw the guy who kicked him to the curb last night standing there with Emma. 

He didn’t have long to wonder; a few seconds later a bewildered Killian emerged and stopped and stared at Emma as if he didn’t believe it was really going to be her. When he finally did pull his eyes away from her he noticed August and immediately tensed, his hands involuntarily fisting at his sides. Emma rushed over to him, causing him to look back at her eyes, they were wide and pleading. She took his hand and reached up to his ear and said.

“Please can we go somewhere to talk?”

 

//

 

A bolt of electricity shot through his body when she took his hand, gripping it tightly, she was leaning so close to talk to him he could feel her breath on his ear and when she pulled back and looked at him earnestly he felt every inch of resolve melt away.  This was Emma; she came here for him, to talk, he needed to hear her out.

He nodded his head in defeat and she led him outside, still holding tightly to his hand. The cold October air hit them when they walked outside and she started to release his hand but his fingers scrambled to keep their grip, he wasn’t ready to feel that loss yet, she gave him a sympathetic smile and allowed him to keep her hand. August stood awkwardly by, unsure of where to start Killian was glad when Emma cleared her throat and began.

“Killian there has been a huge misunderstanding! When you came around last night August thought you were Walsh…” Emma explained.

 “Walsh?” He spat the name out, his face contorting like he’d sniffed a bad smell. “Why the bloody hell would you think I was Walsh?” He’d only had two encounters with August and neither had endeared him to the man.

August shuffled his feet and shrugged his shoulders.  “Emma had a bit of trouble with Walsh, we had reason to believe he was following her and when you showed up I just assumed you were him.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to come home early, with everything that had happened that day I didn’t think to tell August about you, I’m sorry Killian, but he was just looking out for me.”

Killian’s brows furrowed and he tugged on Emma’s hand pulling her slightly closer to him, he looked at her with an intensity that she wasn’t prepared for. “What happened with Walsh?” His voice was huskier than he intended, his grip tightening around her fingers.

Emma looked to the ground, embarrassed by the whole situation and all the trouble Walsh had caused because of her. “Walsh sent a monstrous bouquet of roses with a somewhat sinister message attached and that day when I left work he followed me home, August met me at the station because I was scared and last night I stayed with Mary Margaret and David just in case Walsh showed up, so when you came and asked to see me he assumed you were him.”

Killian looked to August who shrugged at him apologetically.  There was still a surge of jealousy coursing through his veins that this man who lives with her was there in her time of need to play the hero when he was on the other side of the world.  Killian couldn’t dwell too long on how that made him feel. The fact was that August had looked out for Emma and he was grateful for that, he owed him that much!

“Thank you” he muttered. “Thanks for being there for her”

Emma smiled at him, squeezing his hand back before turning to her housemate.  “August, I need to talk to Killian…”

He held up his hands, “Say no more! I’m just glad we got this cleared up, I’ll see you back at the apartment Emma, Killian; I hope we can maybe start over?” He held out his hand; Killian reluctantly let go of Emma’s hand and shook August’s. 

Killian watched him leave then turned to Emma, unsure of what to do with his hand now he wasn’t holding Emma’s, he stuffed it into his pocket and raised his eyebrow at her anticipating what she wanted to tell him.

She looked nervous, chewing her bottom lip in a way that made the corner of his mouth rise. Now alone and knowing that she was still available and still interested in being his friend, could he hope for more? He took a moment to step back and look at her.

“You look stunning, Swan” The words slipped out and he loved the effect they had on her, the pink glow spreading across her cheeks and small smile made his heart pound in his chest.

“Thanks…so…”

“So?” He’d wanted to bite back his smile but there was something about Emma Swan that made him feel giddy, all bravado was gone.

She liked her lips and took a step closer to him.  “So I’ve been busy while you’ve been away and organised an epic friend date…”

The raised corner of his mouth stretched into a full smile “Is that so?”

“Yes” She smiled flirtatiously, “The first part is definitely a friend date since I was going to bring another friend along…”

Killian’s face dropped.  “Oh” He hadn’t anticipated sharing Emma during his limited time with her.

“But…I was thinking after the first part maybe you and I could continue the day as something a little more substantial than a friend date…like maybe…”

His eyes softened, his right brow shooting to the sky, an encouraging smile urging her to finish that line of thought, “yes…”

“Well…like maybe a date date”

“Emma Swan are you asking me out?”

She giggled, “I think I am”

“Are you sure that’s what you want? That I’m what you want?”

She closed the rest of the gap between them; laying her hands on his chest she went up on her tiptoes and then curling her fingers to grip the collar of his leather jacket she pulled him closer their lips colliding, weeks of waiting and pent up emotion finally allowed to be expressed in a passionate push and pull dance their mouths led the way and their hands followed, lost in each other’s embrace.  Her hand rested on his chest while the other made its way up into his hair, tugging at it causing him to groan into her mouth and press his prostetic against one of her hips while his fingers sank into her other one. Their bodies were pinned together mirroring their lips and in that moment they didn’t care that they were in the street where anyone could see them, the people passing them, most oblivious to them but the occasional one wolf whistling, might as well have been invisible as far as Killian and Emma were concerned.  They were the only two people in the world and their kiss was their only purpose.  Eventually Emma wrapped her arms around his neck pushing her body closer to him while he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up.  They smiled into their kiss and eventually pulled apart, still holding each other. 

“That was…” Killian tried to put words to what had just happened but the usually eloquent brit had lost all his words.

“…an awesome first kiss.” Emma finished for him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best, I'm so encouraged by your feedback each chapter. You've been so patient so here is their first proper date! I will explain more of Emma and Killian's pasts as the story progresses and don't worry David, Mary Margaret and Ruby aren't too far away, sadly neither are Walsh and Gold, but this chapter is all about Killian, Emma, and Henry. Bring on the Captain Cobra Swan feels!

Emma sat outside the Reynolds home in her yellow bug the next morning waiting for Henry.  It was their respite day so she decided to plan her date with Killian (because that’s what she was calling it now, a date) so that Henry could come too.  She was sure the two of them would hit it off, and she hoped Killian wouldn’t mind too much that there was a third person on their date, they’d take Henry home after the first part and then have dinner just the two of them.  Her stomach was already churning with nerves after that kiss last night.  She felt the colour rise to her cheeks just thinking about it, she’d been completely swept off her feet, it was the first time in her life Emma had been kissed like that and while it was amazing at the time, she was really nervous about seeing Killian again after it. 

She heard the door of the house slam shut as Henry came thundering down the steps to the car.  “Hey Emma” He chirped, hauling his book bag he always carried behind him, and slamming the car door. 

“Hey Kid, you ready?”

“Yep, operation sky hawk is officially underway!”

Emma chuckled, instantly feeling less nervous now she had Henry here to help her. 

“So where are we picking Killian up?” Henry asked.

“At his restaurant, we’ll not have time to go in but I’ll have to take you some other time, you’d love it!”

 

They drove up to The Jolly Roger. “Is that him?” Henry asked, pointing to a man standing outside. He cut a dashing figure in his tight grey jeans, faded grey boots, white Henley and black leather jacket.

“Yep, that’s Killian” Emma grinned, her stomach doing more flips than an Olympic gymnast.

“Cool leather jacket!” The boy exclaimed.

“Ha, yeah he wears a lot of those.” Emma suddenly remembered she still had clothes of his. She felt Henry’s small hand give her shoulder a squeeze.

“It’s going to be ok, Emma, he’d be crazy not to like you!”

Where did she find this kid? She released a deep breath as Killian waved and walked towards the car.

“Thanks Henry.”

The door opened and Killian slipped into the passenger’s seat.

“Hey, love”

He reached over instinctively to give her a kiss, not wanting the momentum of where they left things last night to fade out, but something caught his eye, a young boy in the back of the car giving him a mischievous smile, Killian changed his course turning his head to face him.

“Hello, you must be Henry; it’s an honour to meet someone I’ve heard so many good things about!”

“Likewise! I’ve heard a lot of good things about you too!” The lad answered sounding more like a grown man then a 7 year old kid.

Killian grinned and glanced at Emma raising his eyebrow, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“Have you now? Well that is interesting!”

Emma rolled her eyes and started the car.

“Ok guys, no teaming up against me today, that’s not fair!”

Killian released a throaty chuckle as he sunk into his seat, he was here with Emma things were new and exciting between them and he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so happy.

 

*

 

The jury was out on who was more excited when Emma pulled up at the aquarium, Killian and Henry both with their faces pushed against the car windows.  The boys were chatting ecstatically as they bounded towards the entrance, leaving Emma to lock the car.  She giggled at Killian’s raised voice speculating what they might see with Henry, the fact it went up a few decibels with every guess was adorable. 

“I heard they have huge manta rays and sharks that swim around you in a glass tunnel!”

“No way, that’s awesome!” Killian squealed.

She jogged to catch up with them and grabbed them both by the arm.

“Ok guys, slow down, we have all afternoon here, I’ve ordered the tickets ahead of time so you just need to come over here and get your hand stamped.”

The woman behind the desk blushed when she took Killian’s hand and stamped it, something he seemed completely oblivious to; looking down at the pink clamshell stamp he scrunched up his face.

“Is there nothing else a bit more…eh…masculine, a shark for example, or even better, a pirate?”

“Sorry” she shrugged, her eyes devouring him.

Emma patted him on the back pushing him into the aquarium.

“Come on pirate, let’s go.”

“Hey, Killian, look! It’s Jack Sparrow!” Henry shouted excitedly.

There was a life size statue of Captain Jack Sparrow right at the entrance; Henry held his phone out to take a selfie with him.

“Emma, Killian, come on, come get in the shot!”

They all leaned in and posed for Henry’s picture.

“Hey Killian, who do you think would win in a fight between Jack Sparrow and Hook?” Henry asked as they stepped into a dark corridor with illuminated fish tanks set into the walls housing various small multi coloured fish.

“No contest, Hook would win, he’s clever, witty and ruthless, _and_ he can hold his rum better…”

Emma nudged him in the ribs “let’s not encourage irresponsible drinking at such a young age!”

He rolled his eyes “Aye aye, Captain”

“Hmmm, Captain Swan…has a nice ring to it!”

The corner of his mouth lifted “Aye, it does. I knew there was a little pirate in you, Swan!” He followed her through the corridor into a wide room with low open tanks holding rock pool creatures you could handle. Henry jumped straight in picking up a crab, then holding a star fish and a sea urchin. He and Killian exploded into laughter at Emma squealing loudly when the crab she held started running along her hand.

The next room was covered in pirate themed memorabilia with rows of chairs lined up facing a glass wall that was a side to one of the largest tanks Emma had ever seen, inside was what looked like a sunken wrecked pirate ship, chests of prop golden coins lay open with pretend jewels scattered.  The three of them sat down on the front row and watched fish of every size, shape and colour swim past, some alone, some in large shoals. A couple large sharks gracefully glided by, casting menacing shadows onto the wreck below where rays skated across the sand and crabs scurried past starfish and a kaleidoscope of corals. There was something breathtakingly beautiful about the ocean scene they watched play out live in front of them.  The light shining through the water cast wave-like reflections around the room; the only sound was quiet nautical music playing through the speakers.  The three of the sat there in awe, Killian eventually reached his arm over the back of Emma’s chair and she rested her head on his shoulder feeling a wave of peace and tranquillity wash over her.

“It’s so beautiful” she whispered.

“It’s certainly is that, love.”

“I’m going to go up to the glass” Henry announced.

Emma watched the dark silhouette of the 7 year old boy dance around with his nose to the glass taking in the underwater world around him.  She realised in that moment he was happy, no thought of being given up by his birth mother, not knowing his parents, spending years in group homes. In that moment he was just a kid with a big imagination and eyes full of wonder dreaming of life as a pirate sailing from one adventure to the next. It made her feel incredibly happy and desperately sad at the same time. Henry had so much potential, she promised herself right then that she would never let him fall into a group home again, never allow for the adults responsible for him to disappoint him. Emma appointed herself as his guardian angel, and prayed a silent prayer of gratitude for the Reynolds and their loving home.

“You were right” Killian’s voice slipped into her daydream, bringing her out of it gently like a morning kiss waking her from sleep.

“hmm?”

“I like Henry a lot, he’s a good kid.”

She smiled “I thought you two would hit it off. You don’t mind having him around today?”

“Not at all! I’m having a great time, this place is incredible, I have to say I’m impressed Swan.”

“There’s still more to see, let’s go up and get him, I think you guys will love the next part.”

They joined Henry for a while pointing out different fish and sharks and then decided to move on, Emma led them through to the underwater tunnel with a moving walkway that took them into the tank they had just been watching, all through the shipwreck while the fish, rays, and sharks swam around and over them. 

“It’s like we’re actually in there with them!” Henry exclaimed his eyes and mouth both wide open.

After the tunnel the next stop was a dark room, inside the tanks were glowing jellyfish slowly pulsing while they moved, giving the illusion of being suspended in air, Emma was mesmerized by their subtle movements as they floated along.

“Check out these!” Henry gasped pointing to a tank with other glowing fish “these live at the bottom of the ocean where there is no light at all, they glow to attract their prey, the smaller fish swim towards the light.” He read the sign next to the tank.

“It’s amazing what some will risk on their quest for light in their life.” Killian murmured.  Emma glanced at him, sure that his words held deeper meaning. She took his hand, causing his eyes to snap up to hers, there was a question in those deep blue eyes, and uncertainty at her touch that almost made her heart break.  Killian was giving her space, letting her initiate the physical contact between them; she gave him an encouraging smile to try and reassure him that she was committed to giving this relationship a chance, giving him a chance to win her heart. He smiled back, shaking his head in disbelief at his luck. She wondered if she’d ever get used to the way he looked at her, like she was the most precious treasure on the earth, would the novelty fade over time. She hoped not.

Their hands stayed connected as they walked into the next room, Emma tightened her grip slightly when she saw the tanks with tarantulas. 

“I’ve never understood why they have spiders at aquariums!” She protested.

“Aw, come on, Swan, you’re not scared of a little spider are you?”

“Little?! Can’t you read? The sign says Goliath Bird Eating Spider. Nothing about that sounds good!”

He lifted their joined hands so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to his side.

“I’ll protect you from poor insy winsy, m’lady”

His body stiffened when they reached the next tank holding a python.

“Oh what’s wrong, fearless Captain Killian Jones? You don’t like poor little snakes?” She teased.

“Nothing poor about a snake, Swan, they don’t mess around!” He steered them away and pressed his lips against her ear. “Though I could certainly get used to you calling me Captain…”

His breath against her ear sent the most enjoyable shiver up her spine, causing heat to pool at her core. Thankful to be in a dark room where she could semi-hide her blush she elbowed him in the side and letting go of his hand said “If you protect me from spiders, I’ll protect you from snakes, Captain!” her hips swayed as she walked to join Henry.

His eyes followed her, his tongue dragging along his bottom lip, calling after her. “Deal”

 

*

 

They’d spent hours at the aquarium; Henry running around soaking up all the information around him like a sponge, Killian enjoying the sea life almost as much as this new Emma he was experiencing, the flirty playful Emma who stole secret glances, gave him private smiles meant just for him, brushed her fingers against his in the shadows, and whose eyes made promises he wondered if they would keep. He could feel the desire for Emma building inside him with every curl of her lips or flutter of her eyelashes.  He wanted to hold her, to kiss her head, rest his hand on her waist, but this was Emma’s day and things were so new and still uncertain. He’d made the decision from the beginning that if he was to have any sort of relationship with Emma it needed to be on her terms, at her pace, and following her lead.  He didn’t know the details but he could tell she had been hurt before and he was willing to do whatever she needed to prove that he would guard her heart.

They stood at the entrance waiting for Henry to go come back from the bathroom before they drove him home and continued with their date, Killian held the large cuddly shark Henry had picked from the gift shop.

“You didn’t need to buy him anything, you know” Emma tried to scold him but she couldn’t be angry at how well Killian and Henry had gotten along with each other.  He’d wanted to do something nice for Henry and that touched her.

“I know, I just…I’m grateful he let me tag along on his day with you and…” he scratched behind his ear “…I guess I see some of myself as a kid in him, I would have loved to come somewhere like this but no one ever brought us and then affording a day like this when it was just Liam and I…”

She gently squeezed his arm “I get it, I do.  It was very sweet of you; I know Henry thinks very highly of you too!”

Never good at taking complements he shrugged his shoulder and flashed his most charming smile “I have that effect on people, you know.” He joked waggling his eyebrows at her.

She giggled and rolled her eyes, “Sure…”

“So what’s the plan after this Emma, what have you got up your sleeve for me?”

“Well…” She smiled flirtatiously “I thought we could…”

“Hey guys! They have a pirate themed miniature golf outside, can we play a round?”

“uh…” Emma looked at Killian.

He wanted to be alone with Emma; he needed to talk to her, to figure out what they were, he wanted to finish that kiss they had last night, to get some release for both of them after the flirting and small touches they’d been exchanging all day.  But when he saw how excited Henry was he couldn’t resist, the boy’s excitement was contagious. He gave Emma an apologetic look.

“Of course lad, you in, Swan?”

She placed her hands on her hips, “Only if you boys think you can handle defeat!”

“Oooh hear that Henry, that’s fighting talk, that is!”

 

*

Henry threw his arms around Killian hugging him goodbye while Mrs Reynolds waved from the front door of her home.  After Emma thrashed the boys in a round of mini golf they’d driven Henry home, after stopping briefly for milkshakes, Killian’s idea of course! She was still trying to figure out which of the two boys was the adult and which was the kid.  Emma had been touched by how good Killian was with Henry, he was a natural with kids and she wasn’t ready for how that made her feel.  For now, she was content just focusing of how it warmed her heart to watch two lost boys she cared deeply for find friendship and comradery with each other.  Killian was good for Henry, it would be great for him to have a male role model who understands what he’s been through and who can show him that it doesn’t matter what hand your dealt or what life throws at you along the way, you can make whatever you want of your life with hard work and dedication.  Emma suddenly had an idea, when they started driving to their next location she causally asked.

“How would you like to be a guest speaker at our next fundraiser for the orphanage we support?”

Her request took him by surprise, “Me?”

“Sure, I mean if you were comfortable sharing your story that is, you’d be a huge inspiration to the kids we work with, you’re the perfect example of how we all have the power to change our lives for the better, you could leave out living on the streets if you wanted to, I know you’ve kept that part of your past private…you don’t have to do it, it was just a thought…”

His silence made her nervous, she hoped she hadn’t overstepped, the last thing she wanted to do was make him feel uncomfortable or pressured into something. She was just about to tell him not to worry about it, that Mary Margaret probably already had someone lined up when he replied.

“You really think that? That my story is an inspiration?”

“I find it really inspiring…” she chewed her lip then continued, “As someone who had a similar past, a childhood where I was constantly treated like I was invisible or worthless, being told I’d amount to nothing, that I was a waste of space and good for nothing but the government check that arrived each month.  Then going through two serious relationships with boyfriends who constantly talked down to me and made me feel…well irrelevant I guess, I started to believe it.  Those people may leave your life but their voices, their criticisms and judgements stay with you, tucked away in the back of your mind just waiting to whisper to you in your most vulnerable moments.”

She sighed and looking straight in front of her at the road ahead she continued.

“Mary Margaret and David were the first people to care, to show me love, even when I was unloving.  You…you were the first guy who spoke to me like I mattered, like you were genuinely interested in what I had to say…you listened…”

Killian looked at her in awe.

“Emma, I’m sorry you’ve lived with people constantly putting you down, I’m sorry you shared a similar childhood to myself and that love has been too rare a thing in your life, but I am no hero, I assure you!”

He turned to look out the window, they were driving out of the city entering more scenic landscapes, the leaves on the trees were displaying every autumnal colour on the spectrum; it was his favourite time of year in New York.  He felt like a fraud, everything Emma had said about him was technically true but she didn’t know the other side of his story, the parts he kept hidden, the skeletons in his closet, he had a past and the higher the pedestal Emma put him on the more terrified he was of falling off it and losing her forever.

She shook her head, determined to make him see himself through her eyes.

“Killian you have, not once, but twice pulled yourself up from the bottom to superstar status in two completely different career paths, neither one was handed to you, you had to work hard and put in the time and energy, the blood, sweat, and tears to get where you are.  That is incredible! People who have been born with more opportunities, resources, and support have achieved much less.  If that isn’t inspirational then I don’t know what is! You make me feel like I can be stronger, braver, like I can aspire to heights I never would have dared before meeting you.”

He smiled faintly, “The strength was always in you Emma, I’ve never been more confident of anything in my life! But if I helped you see it then I’m thrilled.”

The truth was that the only thing he aspired to now was to be a better man, a man deserving of Emma Swan, a man who wasn’t intimidated by bravery, strength or intelligence but who encouraged it, a man who would do everything in his power to help her reach any goal she set herself, a man who built her up instead of putting her down.  He just had to scale those walls of hers and be brave enough to allow her to break his own walls down.  The moment Killian laid eyes on Emma he was attracted to her, once she started talking and revealing parts of herself to him he was drawn to her and craved to know more.  The night he found out about Walsh and knew how badly she was being treated he wanted to fight for her, when her relationship with Walsh fell apart he wanted to comfort her. Now it was so much more, it went beyond attraction, interest, and protectiveness, he couldn’t put a name to it, well he could but he wouldn’t, not this early on. They’re relationship was at its earliest stage and the stakes were already so high he felt choked with fear that something or someone would take it all away.

He thought about Henry, and remembered what it was like being a kid with no family; he wondered how different his life may have been if he’d had someone like Emma in his life back then, someone who gave a damn, who encouraged him.  If he could do anything for kids like that then he would. 

“Do you really think I could make a difference?” He asked, still looking out the window.

“Yes, I do.  But if you’re not ready…I understand.”

“I’ll do it”

“Really?”

“Yeah, if it’s on a date that I’m free, then I’ll do it.  If you think I can help, then I’d be happy to.”

 

*

 

The finally pulled next to a forest trail in Bear Lake, NY.  Emma opened the trunk of the car and pulled out a back pack she handed to Killian and a picnic backpack she slung on her back.

 Smiling up at Killian she said. “Fancy a walk?” in her best attempt at a British accent.

He shook his head, trying his best not to crack a smile. “That was appalling, Swan…and yes, I’d love to go on a walk with you.´

“Good!” She reached out and grabbed his hand, her fingers filling the spaces between his perfectly and led him on the short hike to where she wanted to have dinner.

She breathed in the fresh pine fragranced air and let it rejuvenate her each step she took, it wasn’t a hard hike, there was a clear path to follow and Emma knew it well from spending summers here with Mary Margaret and David in the past.  They reached a large pine tree with a yellow marker around the trunk and Emma smiled widely.

“We’re here! Now I am no chef so I can’t offer you fine dining…” She ducked under the low branches and pushed through the bushes “…but I can offer you dinner with a view!” she broke through to a flat rock sticking out looking over the lake below, framed by mountains covered in forest brightly coloured with the changing leaves that part of the world was so famous for.

Killian’s jaw hit the floor when he looked up and saw they had a front row seat to nature’s finest show.  The scene before him was postcard perfect, just at that moment an eagle swept down it’s talons cutting the surface of the perfectly still water.

“Emma, this is incredible.” He gasped.

“Well I’m glad you like it, I’m hoping the view will distract from my lack of any sort of culinary ability!” She confessed, smiling shyly.

“It’s perfect; I’d eat a Twinkie and be happy with this as our backdrop. You’ve definitely raised the bar on dates, Emma!”

She giggled, he’d decided earlier that day it was his favourite sound, he couldn’t help but smile every time he heard it escape her lips. “There’s a blanket in the bag I gave you if you want to lay it down, I’ll get the food out.”

Emma sat down and laid out a picnic of cold grilled cheese sandwiches, carrot sticks, trail mix, and a bottle of lemonade. Killian was standing on the ledge taking some pictures of their view on his phone.

“Dinner is served.” She called, and when he turned around she shrugged her shoulders apologetically. 

“Looks perfect, love” He reassured her, biting into a grilled cheese. “Mature cheddar…my favourite cheese!”

“Really?” She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“Honestly, the stronger the better!” He insisted.

She grew thoughtful as she sat and chomped on a carrot stick.  “You were really great with Henry today, thank you for being so generous with your time.”

He chewed his bottom lip then scratched behind his ear nervously, “I’ll admit, it’s not easy…sharing my time with you, it’s so rare for us to have time together…but for Henry, it was fine, I loved hanging out with him.”

Emma blushed, “It’s nice…that you value our time together…” She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw him staring back. She scooted closer beside him.

His eyes still locked on her. “I value it greatly Emma.”

She swallowed; her heart beginning to pound in her chest. She knew he was waiting for her to make the first move physically but something was still holding her back.  The kiss last night had been unplanned and spontaneous, she hadn’t had the time to talk herself out of it or weigh up pros and cons, it just happened.  Now she was sitting here watching the sun set with him beside her, she’d organised this picturesque romantic moment and she’d overwhelmed herself, it was too much pressure to live up to the moment; everything was perfect and surely that meant she could only ruin it.  She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

Always the perceptive one, her hesitant behaviour didn’t go unnoticed by him.  He saw the invisible wall rise up so didn’t push her, instead he leaned back on his elbows, and with his legs outstretched in front of him he crossed his feet and changed the subject telling her all about his time in Australia.

She listened captivated by his tales of his time in Oz, lapping up every word, her adventurous spirit longing to experience traveling one day. Hearing him recount his two weeks away made her feel more at ease and also reminded her just how much she’d missed him when she knew he was on the other side of the world, and how lucky she was to have him here, completely hers for an evening.

The stories faded to an end and they found themselves staring over the lake again in compete silence.  The stars were out in full force now, sprinkled across the sky sparkling in full view far away from the city light. Emma knew they had to leave soon, the hour and 15 minute drive back to the city meant they couldn’t stay too late.

“So…how was today, did I do ok?” She asked half seriously.

He shook his head grinning up at the night sky.  “Honestly, it’s been one of my favourite days all year! I don’t know how you could have planned a better one. It’s going to be a hard one to top next time” He watched her face hesitantly.

“Next time? I don’t remember asking” she grinned coyly.

The corner of his mouth darted up “That’s because it’s my turn to ask you.” The smile disappeared; his eyes locked on hers, wide and vulnerable. “Will you go out with me again?”

He waited expectantly but his eyes showed nothing but compassion and understanding with the slightest glimmer of hope. How could she say no to this man? Taken up in the moment words escaped her so she answered the only other way she could think of.  Pushing all her fears and doubts aside she leaned in, gently pressing her lips against his then slowly opening her mouth she gave him permission to deepen their kiss; the unspoken promise of another date, and the start of their relationship.

She lost herself in his lips, her body sinking into his as his arms wrapped around her waist and pulling her closer; she could feel his warmth and instinctively curled into him trying to cocoon herself in it. Her hands reached up behind his neck, her fingers playing with his hair then she leaned back pulling him with her so she was lying on her back with him hovering over her, their lips still fused together.  He didn’t allow his body to rest on her, his arms and knees keeping him hovering above her, she could feel the cold breeze and craving the warmth she’d just had tried to pull him down on her.  He smiled into their kiss and pulled back, amused by the frustration displayed on her brow. He kissed her forehead then rested his against it.

“I told you we’d go at your pace, love, and I meant it, but I fear if I don’t hold back then I may not be able to stop and I think we both know that you’re not ready for that yet, _we’re_ not ready for that.”

She blushed, chewing her lip to ward off embarrassment, oblivious to how that simple action always drove him crazy.  He groaned internally but simply smiled at her then sat up facing the lake and pulled her across so she was sitting in front of him, in between his legs and resting against him, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her head while they watched the stars for a little longer.

“And for the record” he spoke with a low husky voice in her ear “When you’re ready there will be no holding back”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so...I'm not usually a smut writer but this chapter just kind of ran away with me...
> 
> Drop me a review or a tweet at @librarybelle1 and let me know what you think

“I don’t get it? They have a recipe, why are they finding it so difficult?”

Killian grinned over at Emma; she was the picture of contentment curled up on his corner sofa, mug in hand, in her skinny jeans and one of his Jack Wills hoodies she’d stolen, not that he minded – Emma wearing his clothes had fast become his favourite thing.  He was sitting beside her, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle on his coffee table, his hands cradling his own mug of tea.

“They have a recipe but a lot of the instructions are missing, for example it might just say, ‘make a sponge cake’ but won’t tell you quantities for the ingredients or the amount of time it needs to be in the oven” he explained.  He’d returned earlier that day from his first week in L.A. shooting The Iron Chef and despite how exhausted he was there was only one thing he wanted to do so he immediately invited Emma round to cash in on their rain check for a Great British Bake Off marathon and proper English Sunday roast, Yorkshire puddings and all. It was the first time Emma had ever been in his home and seeing how comfortable she was there made him happier than he imagined.

“That’s impossible!” She almost spat out her hot chocolate all over his light brown leather suite.

“Not impossible” he chuckled, “but yes, difficult, that’s the whole point, it’s supposed to test their knowledge of baking.

She snuggled closer to him, making him wrap his arm around her shoulders instinctively, and strained her neck to look up at him. “Would you know what to do?”

“Well I’ve never made one of those exact desserts before but yes, I’d know how to make the sponge cake component off the top of my head, I’d give it a good go I reckon.”

“Not to blow your own trumpet or anything” she rolled her eyes, teasing him.

“Well I am a professional chef Swan; I’d like to think I could make a bloody sponge cake!”

She tried to bite back her smile hearing the wounded tone of his voice. “Of course you could, honey” she patted his thigh, deliberately patronising him.

He huffed and got up from the sofa, “I’m going to go check on lunch.”

“Need help with anything?” She offered, genuinely this time.

“Did I mention that I have two Michelin stars?!” He called over his shoulder, shaking his head in exasperation.

She giggled and grabbed a cushion to toss at him, hitting him square on the back of the head.

“That’s bad form, Swan!” He warned, trying not to crack a smile and shaking his finger at her.  “There will be no disrespecting the Captain aboard my ship!”

“Oh yeah” she propped herself up on her knees leaning on the back of the sofa swaying her hips back and forth “What are you going to do about it, Captain?” She bit her lip, knowing the effect it had on him.

He ran back to the sofa “I’ll show you what, young lady!” he shouted as he pounced on her pinning her to the soft cushions while his fingers got to work tickling her in the ribs.

“Hey, stop that!” She cried through the giggles “Please!”

“Do you surrender yourself over to the Captain?” he asked, refusing to stop tickling her.

“Ok! Ok” She squealed, “I surrender to the Captain!”

He instantly stopped, lowering his hand and prosthetic to rest on her thighs, now straddling him. They sat there locked in the moment staring at one another panting. She hated herself in these moments; everything was perfect; he was perfect. She wanted him, oh god how she wanted him and those dark stormy blues looking back at her told her he wanted her too so why did she always hit a brick wall every time they reached the tipping point; that fine line between crushes and serious boyfriend/girlfriend? She knew the answer and that just made it harder seeing the question lingering there in his eyes, unspoken yet louder than her heart beating out of her chest. Watching the hope fade from his eyes, being replaced with disappointment, patience, and understanding, a painful cocktail that was like a punch to her gut each time she saw it knowing she was cause.

The corner of his mouth curled up, mirroring its neighbouring brow, “I…um…better go check on the food, I can’t have the first Yorkshire puddings you eat be burnt now, can I?”

“Right…of course…” she awkwardly slid off of his lap, cursing herself for throwing that damn cushion in the first place and putting them in this situation.

He kissed her forehead then walked into the kitchen; as soon as he left the room she punched the cushion with a whispered “fuck!” Suddenly a Bake Off technical challenge seemed like a piece of cake compared to this minefield she had to navigate.

 

**

 

“Wow this is a lot of food!” Her eyes travelled along the dining room table where Killian had laid out a feast. “Are you expecting more people?”

“No, just us…but I usually make enough so there’s left overs for the doorman. I’ve been in the restaurant business so long; I’m rubbish at making meals for small numbers.”

His confession made her realise just how alone Killian Jones was. “Don’t you have lots of parties or friends knocking down your door?” She asked, while digging into her roast beef.

“I used to back when I was with the band, but it would have all been catered, I had a personal chef.” He shrugged off the next comment, “people don’t really come around anymore…since the accident, I guess my friends felt uncomfortable about my injury, they didn’t really know what to say so it was easier to drift apart and blame busy schedules, to be honest it suited me, I realised just how superficial those relationships were…the ones who really cared, like Leroy, they stuck around.”

Noticing her silence he tried to reassure her, “I mean I have Leroy, and Tink, though I can’t really treat her as a real friends because I’m her boss so I try not to over familiarize myself with my staff but I trust her implicitly and I know she cares about The Jolly Roger, then there is Tony, my doorman, and my maid Belle, again it’s not quite your normal friendship but I trust them and enjoy talking to them.  Then there’s you…” He looked up at her hopefully.

“And then there’s me” She smiled back sweetly.

“Well we’re…we’re good.” He gave his attention back to his food, pushing it around his plate distractedly.

Emma reached over and gently touched his hand getting his attention once again.

“We’re better than good, I’m happy you’re a part of my life…” she hesitated, “what I mean is that you’re my…” she started to stumble over her words, her cheeks flaring pink. “My…um…”

“You can say ‘boyfriend’ you know” he teased, holding back his grin, his eyes boring straight into her, analysing every move as squirmed in her seat.

“Boyfriend” she agreed, smiling shyly at him.  She felt like a teenager again flirting with the cute boy at the back of the class.

He saw it in her eyes again, the spark, it was obvious she had strong feelings for him but he couldn’t figure out what was holding her back from taking things further, they’d been dating for a couple weeks now, all be it sparse because of his work commitments, but they were well past the milestone third date and still they hadn’t gone past making out.  All he could do was wait for her signal, something he’d obviously already misinterpreted a few times leaving them going through the now all too familiar dance of flirting, then touching, leading to kissing, leading him to give the same questioning look answered always with her same apologetic expression. He refused to be discouraged, Killian Jones was nothing if not a patient man, he’d already decided that he was in this for the long haul and if there was one thing he was sure on it was that Emma Swan was worth the wait. 

**

 

Another month passed by, Killian shooting Iron Chef in L.A. and spending his weekends with Emma, either chilling at his place or hanging out at the Jolly Roger and Tiger Lily.  They’d been together for six weeks, not that he was counting, and as much as he loved spending time with her, being with her was always so effortless and she was like a ray of light in his life, but he wondered what it would take for her to completely trust him with her heart. He wanted to trust her with his own secrets, to give her every part of him, even the dark broken parts but would she take him once she saw how selfish he’d been in his past and the lives that had been ruined because of it. He sighed as he raised his hand to knock on Emma’s apartment door, Mary Margaret had invited them round for thanksgiving dinner and he’d agreed to pick up Emma and August on his way.

The door swung open revealing a nervous August, it was the first time he and Killian had met since that night at Tiger Lily when he’d explained his case of mistaken identity to Killian.

“Um, hey, come in, Emma’s almost ready” He shifted out of the way so Killian could enter Emma’s apartment for the first time.

Killian looked around the modest and tidy apartment; nothing spoke of Emma living there apart from three photographs stuck on the fridge.

“Can I get you a drink or something?” He vaguely heard August’s question coming from the door.

“Nah mate, I’m good thanks” He muttered, walking towards the pictures, there was one of Emma and Ruby pulling their best poses on a night out, one of Emma, Mary Margaret and David, and the last one was the picture Henry took of the three of them in front of the Jack Sparrow statue at the aquarium, a small smile graced his lips at the fact he made the fridge next to Emma’s nearest and dearest.  And then there was Henry, there was no doubt the boy was special but there was something more to it, some sort of connection she felt to him that Killian couldn’t help but feel was rooted in something deep from her past.

“Hey” Her voice cut through his thoughts like the first rays of sun after the dawn, six weeks together and the very sound of her still made his heart skip a beat.

If her voice made his heart skip, the sight of her all but stopped it.  She wore a fitted green dress that came high on her neck but stopped mid-thigh showing off her long athletic legs, accentuated by her nude heels.

“Are you gonna stop staring and come over here and zip me up?” she teased, quietly pleased at the obvious effect the dress had on him.

“I…eh…” He chuckled at his own inability to form words, shook his head then said, “Of course.”

She slowly turned, holding up her loose curls out of the way so he could zip her up, an action he performed slower than necessary. Once he reached the top he leaned in and whispered in her ear, “You’re beautiful, Swan” making her blush as she turned to look up at him through her long lashes, “You look good too.” She picked an imaginary piece of fluff from his blazer and ran her hand down his arm. 

August cleared his throat, “So you guys ready?”

 

**

 

In the 15 years that Killian had lived in the U.S. he had never once been invited to someone’s home for Thanksgiving Dinner and the prospect of sharing in the tradition now with a family he hoped to one day be a part of filled him with nervous excitement.

Before Emma’s hand reached the doorknob Mary Margaret was pouncing on her foster daughter squealing with delight.

“Whoa, ok, I’d like to enjoy dinner without cracked ribs!” Emma laughed.

Killian had barely taken in the domestic moment before those same, surprisingly strong; arms were wrapped around him in a death grip. “Killian I’m so glad you made it! I can’t believe it has taken Emma this long to bring you round.” She flashed her daughter a quick disapproving glance Emma responded to with her signature eye roll which if Mary Margaret saw she chose to ignore and move on to her next guest.

“August, it’s so good to see you again!”

Killian tried not to overthink the fact that Emma had brought August here before yet not him, he knew his schedule made things difficult.

Stepping into the warm house he felt a firm hand on his shoulder and turned to see David holding out his hand.

“Killian, it’s good to see you again, and under better circumstances!”

“Aye, mate, thanks for having me round, it’s my first Thanksgiving.”

“You’ve never celebrated Thanksgiving before?” Ruby’s head popped up from behind David.

Killian nodded his head hello then scratched behind his ear, failing to hide his nervousness. “Well I’ve never been invited before.”

“Well you’re here now and we are thrilled to have you join us!” Mary Margaret’s chirper voice sang through the room and Emma slipped her hand in his giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Thanks, it’s actually kind of nice not being the one to cook for once.”

“Ah, don’t worry about that, you kids just sit back and relax and let us handle it.” He nudged Killian in the ribs, “Just wait until you taste my stuffing, there’s a secret ingredient and well…I don’t want to brag…but it won the community centre’s Pot Luck Challenge last Christmas!” David beamed proudly while Killian smiled at being referred to as a “kid” by a guy he was pretty sure was his age if not younger!

“Ok David, get back in the kitchen, hey can someone get the drinks from the basement and bring them up?” Mary Margaret asked.

“Sure, I’ll go” Ruby jumped off the couch, “Killian, do you think you could lend me a hand?”

Killian looked over to Emma who shrugged her shoulders back “Aye, lass, no problem”

He followed Ruby down the hall and down the wooden stairs to the basement, “So is this where you interrogate me and ask me what my intentions are with your friend?” He only half joked.

She stopped and spun on her heel to face him. “Well now you mention it, how are things with you and Emma?” She stood on the bottom step blocking his way to the drinks holding him prisoner until he answered.

He sighed, “We’re good, look; I’ve no intention of hurting her, whatever we become it’s as much up to her as it is me.”

Her eyes scanned his face looking for any hint of deceit and coming up empty. “I like you Killian, I do, I just…she’s been hurt before, even before Walsh.  I’m trusting you to protect her heart.”

“Listen, we ‘re not rushing anything, we’re taking this slow, snail’s pace in fact, I’m not going to pressure her to move faster than she feels comfortable with.”

Her eyes narrowed, “Wait…how slow are we talking here?”

“Slow.”

“And you’re ok with that?” Ruby didn’t have much experience with men that didn’t involve jumping their bones as soon as possible.

“I’m in this for the long haul, Emma’s worth the wait.”

The brunette smiled, “Yes, she is.  She better not hold out too long though, it’s not good for two people as hot as you guys not to be getting any action.”

He raised his brow “Are you quite finished now?”

Satisfied that Killian genuinely cared for Emma Ruby nodded her head, “quite” she lifted some bottles and handed them to him.

 

**

 

“So what do you think?” David asked Killian, eyes wide and lips slowly spreading into a manic grin.

“Honey, give him a chance to have his first bite!” His wife scolded.

Killian raised the forkful of stuffing to his lips and silently chewed, while David’s gaze bore deeper, suddenly his eyebrows shot up, “nutmeg!”

“Yes!” David’s fist pounded the table in excitement.

“Chill David!” Emma muttered into her wine glass.

“Very interesting…I’ve never had nutmeg in stuffing before but it really works with your other flavours…colour me impressed!”

David leaned back in his chair; he spent the rest of the evening basking in Killian’s moment of praise.

“Did you mean what you said?” Emma whispered in his ear later while they all watched the football, she was curled up pressed snugly into his side dosing in and out of her turkey coma, “About the stuffing?”

His lips hovered above her head, gently pressing on her hair, August had left some time ago to go watch the game with friends and the rest of their company was fast asleep. “Aye love, of course I did” he chuckled.

“I’m never going to hear the end of it, you know.”

“Sorry”

Before long Killian stopped fighting the heaviness of his eyelids and drifted off to sleep matching the rhythm of Emma’s steady breathing beside him.

While he slept soundly Emma was awoken from her nap by a skinny finger prodding her arm. “Emma, Emma!”

She opened one eye, Ruby was standing over her and before she could say a word she was being pulled to her feet by her friend, “We need to talk, now!” Ruby whispered and led her friend through to the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” Emma asked groggily.

“Have you slept with Killian yet?”

“Seriously? That’s why you woke me up!”

“Well, have you?”

“I’m struggling to see how this is any of your business but no, I haven’t” She sighed, annoyed that she’d literally been pulled out of her boyfriend’s warm arms to be interrogated on her sex life.

“How long have you been together?” Ruby continued, ignoring her friends glare.

“6 weeks” She forced through gritted teeth.

“Emma, what are you waiting for, have you seen the man?”

“Yes I’ve seen him Ruby!” She hissed, then feeling her resentment dissolve she slumped her shoulders. “I know I’m crazy but I just…can’t”

Ruby’s face softened and she gave her friend a hug then rested her hands on Emma’s shoulders forcing her friend to look at her. “Why not, what’s wrong Emma?”

Emma bit her lip as tears stung the corners of her eyes. “Because what if I fall in love with him, what if I give him everything and he just leaves me like every other guy has…Neal abandoned me, Walsh took me for granted and was selfish and possessive. Both of them broke my heart but this is different, I feel different, I’m scared that if I let him in and he leaves that I won’t get over it this time, it’ll break me for good.”

Ruby threw her arms around Emma. “I’m so sorry that those guys treated you that way, they were complete dicks, Emma and you deserve so much better, you deserve Killian! Love is a part of all happiness and you have to be open to that. I know it’s scary but all the best things in life are!”

“I’m scared to fall in love” Emma whispered.

“I hate to break it to you but I think you already have!” Ruby smiled at her friend as realisation illuminated Emma’s face.

“I love him?”

Ruby arched her brow in response.

“I love him. Oh, god, I love him”

 

**

 

Back in the living room Killian and David had both stirred and were back watching the game.  There was something Killian had wanted to talk to David about away from Emma. He didn’t know how long he’d have before Emma returned so decided to make the most of their moment alone.

“Eh…David, I’ve been thinking about Walsh.”

David sat up in his seat “Did he contact Emma again?”

“No, that’s my point…one day of harassing, following, sending flowers, and then…nothing?”

David relaxed back rubbing his chin.  “I see what you mean.”

“It’s been over a month and nothing; can we really just assume that he’s moved on?”

“Maybe he left town?”

Killian shook his head, “No, he opened a restaurant with Emma’s old boss, Gold, called the Kraken.” He ran his hand through his hair, “Gold and I have history, let’s just say he’s not a fan…he is a cold and calculating man and I’m worried they are just biding their time.”

“So if Gold has it in for you Emma could be a target…” David mussed.

“I would end things before she could get hurt…”

“Not unless you want me to break your nose, you won’t!”

Killian raised his brow, surprised by the threat. “I can’t let Emma get hurt because of me…”

“Look Killian, Emma is the happiest I’ve ever seen her, she cares for you…a lot. Right now anyone who wants to mess with her has you and I to deal with, not to mention Mary Margaret, August, and Ruby.  Anything good in this world will always be threatened, but we fight for it because it’s worth it.  Emma has seen her fair share of darkness in her life and she is strong, but she’s strongest with those who love her by her side.”

The word wasn’t missed on Killian, ‘love’ he’d known for a while that he loved Emma, telling her that was more complicated. “I just want to do what’s best for her.”

“And that’s exactly why you should stay together.  If Walsh wants to go after Emma he’ll do it weather you’re around or not.  If you love our daughter…and I think you do…the best thing for her is to have you in her life.”

“You’re putting a lot of faith in me, mate.”

“What can I say, you’ve grown on me.”

Killian’s face lit up, “I tend to have that effect on people, you know!”

“Ok, don’t push it; just be good to my girl.”

 

**

 

Killian walked Emma to her front door, waiting as she routed around her purse for her keys. “Is August home?” he asked.

“Unlikely…sometimes he crashes at his friend’s place in Queens…aha! Here they are!” She dangled the keys in the air victoriously. “You wanna come in for a bit?” She chewed her lip nervously.

Brushing her hair behind her ear he cupped her cheek and gently brought her face to his kissing her softly, keeping his forehead pressed against hers when they broke apart not wanting to lose the intimacy of the moment. “Wouldn’t hurt to stay for a bit.”

She took his hand and led him into her apartment, kicking off her heels at the door. “coffee?” She asked innocently.

“Aye, thanks, love” He followed her into the kitchen, he pointed to the picture of them on the fridge, “Any chance I could get a copy of that?"

“Sure” She came behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, the hum of the espresso machine heating up in the background. Killian twisted in her arms so he could face her, resting his chin on her head and pulling her tighter into their embrace.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Mmhmm” She murmured into his chest.

“I have the premier for Iron Chef next weekend so I can’t come home…but I was wondering if you’d fly out and be my date for it.”

She pulled back so she could look at him, “like a red carpet and party and famous people stuff?”

He smiled, “Yeah like a red carpet, party and famous people…stuff”

“Our relationship would be public knowledge…”

“Aye”

“They’d take pictures of us”

“Aye”

“You’d be ok with that? With the world knowing we’re dating, your fans…”

He kissed her into silence lifting her up and placing her on her countertop, before pulling back and lovingly cradling her face in his palm. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, why would I be ashamed that people saw that?”

Her mouth fell open at his words, mirrored by his eyes, so full of love for her, it was overwhelming, all consuming and she just wanted to dive right in to those blue oceans and drown in him.  She had so many things she wanted to say but no words came, instead she slid off the counter intertwined her fingers in his and led him to her bedroom. 

“Emma…” He stopped inside her room before they reached the bed, tugging her back to him. “…are you sure?”

She’d never been great with words or using them to express her emotions. Instead she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his again, brushing her tongue along his lips asking permission to enter, his lips instantly parted and they deepened their kiss; his fingers sank into her hip while his prosthetic rested on the small of her back.  Her own fingers found the hem of his sweater and tugged at it, lifting it up and only parting lips long enough to pull it over his head, leaving just a white v neck t-shirt.  She pulled back to look at him, his black curly chest hair peeking out of the V, she licked her lips then moved her hand down to his belt.  Before she could get to work on it he grabbed her wrist stopping her, his eyes dark with lust. Closing them tightly he tried to regain control, she watched him confused by his reluctance.

“Emma…I need to hear you say it…are you sure?”

She released her hands from him, took a step back and looked at him earnestly so he knew she was serious and not just wrapped up in the moment.

“I have never been more sure…now please, Killian…” She stepped forward closing the gap between them again, leaning forward until her lips were against his ear. She ran her tongue along the lobe then bit it giving it a soft tug, she could feel his grip on her hips again and his warmth hot against her, she couldn’t take it anymore and whispered, “Make love to me” her hot breath on his ear sending him into overdrive.

He spun her around so she was pinned against the wall, slowly he pulled her zip down planting small kisses all the way down her back, whispering between each one, “I’m…going…to…revel…in…every…inch…of…you” His words mixed with his warm lips on her skin sent a pleasure filled shiver up her spin.  She reached up and slid the straps of her dress off her shoulders, shifting from side to side as it fell to her ankles, his sharp intake at the sight of her in just her black bra and panties caused a satisfied smile to spread across her face.

He trailed his hand from her neck, across her shoulder and down her back, sliding it around her waist until it rested on her abdomen. She pushed back against him, his bulge pressed against her ass; his mouth coming down on her neck, kissing, licking and biting enjoying each moan of encouragement she gave him. Satisfied that he’d appreciated every inch of her back he slowly turned her around to face him again letting his eyes drift down her body and back up to her eyes.

“Like what you see Captain?” She teased setting her hands on her hips.

He shook his head in disbelief, “You’ve no idea what you do to me love.”

She smiled, a boldness coming over her, as she looked down, “actually…I have a pretty good idea”

His cocked his eyebrow, giving her that panty dropping smoulder, “It seems you have quite the effect on me…”

She bit her lip then reached down and lifted his t-shirt over his head, revealing his bare chest; her fingers traced his toned muscles, her nails gently scratching his skin making his hips buckle against her. “Emma…” he whispered her name like a prayer. She returned to his belt buckle undoing it then sliding down along with his jeans until she was on her knees. She’d no sooner reached the floor when his strong arms lifted her “ah ah ah, not yet, love, ladies first” she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bed gently setting her on the edge and kneeling to the floor. She slowly spread her legs.

 “fuck me” he whispered.

“I tried to” she giggled “You stopped me”

“Not what I meant” he grinned shyly, then starting at her foot he kissed his way up her leg until he was nibbling the inside of her thigh, she fell back on the bed arching her back. “You’re gonna have to stay still” he scolded, smiling wickedly at her. He was just about the bite her black lace panties and pull them off when a loud crashing sound came from the living room.

Emma jumped up, “What the hell…”


	12. Chapter 12

They jumped up at the sound of breaking glass.

“Stay in here, I’ll check it out” Killian warned her, pulling on his jeans and rushing out the room. Cold air struck him as soon as he entered the living room; the curtains were flapping wildly as cold air swept in through a jagged hole in the window. A glance at the rug covered in broken glass revealed a brick with paper wrapped around it, held on by an elastic band, Killian picked it up and carefully removing the band unwrapped the paper scanning the crude message.

**_‘If you know what is good for you, end the relationship now!’_ **

“Killian? Is everything alright…what’s that?” Emma’s voice pulled him back to reality.  She’d changed into yoga pants and a hoodie and was standing beside him. “What does it say?”

He handed to note to her, watching her as she read the threat. “We need to call the police.”

 

*

 

An hour later two police officers, David and August had joined them at the apartment and the pit of unease was still swirling in Emma’s stomach.

"You're lucky neither of you were hurt!"  David exclaimed, "just as well you were making coffee" he pointed to the espresso machine still humming away. Emma and Killian had completely forgotten about it. 

 

"Um..." Killian froze trying to think of what to say. 

 

"We never got to drink any, maybe we should all have some now" Emma interrupted them, pulling mugs out of the cupboard. 

 

"Can I ask where you two were standing when the brick came through the window?"  One of the officers, a young good looking man with brown hair, a beard and faint Irish accent asked them. 

 

Emma and Killian looked at each other awkwardly, Killian scratched behind his ear and taking the bull by the horns shrugged and admitted, "We were in Emma's room...and we weren't exactly standing..." 

 

Emma's head snapped in his direction, jaw on the ground and eyes wide in horror. 

 

"I thought you said you were having coffee!" David cried, looking down at the mug in his hand with disgust. 

 

"Sounds like they got distracted." August chuckled, still slightly Jolly from his night with his friends and enjoying the awkwardness a little too much.

 

The officer cleared his throat, "ok...so you were both in the...other room...otherwise occupied and you hear the crash and came through, is that right?"

 

"Aye" Killian nodded, purposefully not looking in David's direction, he could already feel the burn of his steady gaze on him.

 

"And when you came through did you look out the window, see anyone or hear anything?" 

 

"No mate, I just picked up the brick and read the note, then showed it to Emma. I called you while Emma called August and Dave. We stayed in the kitchen until you arrived.

 

"You sure about that?" David snapped, "Didn’t finish what you started?" 

 

"No, we were more concerned with who was trying to threaten us!" Emma narrowed her eyes at her foster father, making him instantly regret his reaction, the realisation that Emma could be in danger again settling in. 

 

"Mr Jones, we've seen incidents like this before with people who are in the public eye like yourself" the other officer, an older black man added, "a fan finds out you’re in a relationship and wants to end it because they've grown an unhealthy attachment to you..."

 

"That's bullshit, this is that Walsh dude" August blurred out. 

 

"I had the same thought" Killian added, his jaw tightening. 

 

"And who is Walsh?" The young officer flipped open his notepad again, pen at the ready. 

 

"He is Emma's ex, and my ex-employee, he was harassing Emma about a month ago, following her. He sent her flowers with a threatening note...he knows she lives here, he used to live here with her." Killian explained. 

 

"And you haven't seen or heard anything from him since?" The officer asked.

 

"No" Emma looked to the floor.

 

"Is there any reason why he may have stopped and then chosen today to start again, is it a significant date?" 

 

"No, nothing like that." 

 

"Ok, Miss Swan, we'll question your ex but it seems unlikely he'd stop for a month and then start up again for no reason. I suggest you stay somewhere else for the time being until we can straighten this all out." 

 

"You can stay with us" David offered. 

 

Killian cleared his throat. "Erm...Emma could I have a word...alone?"

 

She nodded and followed him into her room, gently closing the door behind them. Killian paced the floor. 

 

"I have a hard time believing this is a fan, I've never had anything like this happen before and our relationship isn't even public yet!" 

 

Emma wrapped her arms around herself as a shiver shot up her spine. 

 

"It's Walsh, I don't care what the police think; I know it's him." 

 

Killian stopped his pacing and moved beside her, sliding his arm over her shoulder. Emma leaned into him, taking advantage of a quiet moment just to breathe.  

 

"Emma...if this is Walsh he is spiralling out of control, he knows where your parents live, it may not be safe for you there either?”

 

“You think I should stay at a hotel?”

 

“I think you should stay with me…” Emma pulled back suddenly, looking at him cautiously, he jumped in to try and explain, “As my guest, my apartment has security, it’s safer than a hotel…”

 

“I dunno Killian…”

 

“Emma…this isn’t about what almost happened tonight, I’m not asking you to move in with me. It’s about your safety, I have spare rooms…”

 

“OK” Smiling she took his hand and pulled him back into the living room where the others were talking in hushed tones, hashing out different theories and plans of action. “I’m going to stay with Killian for now, his apartment has security, and I know I’ll be safe there.”

 

Silence filled the room as all eyes were on them. Killian cleared his throat.

 

“I have plenty of room at my place, August, you’re welcomes to stay too, mate.”

 

The younger officer closed his notepad with a thud and slipped it in his jacket pocket, “Sounds like a great idea to me, we’ll give you a few minutes to pack bags before we close the crime scene.  We’ll be in touch Miss Swan.”

 

 

*

 

I really meant what I said about August staying." Killian lifted Emma's case from his car and hauled it towards the front door. 

 

"Oh he's fine, he likes his own space; he's a bit eccentric like that" Emma looked up at the Sky scraping apartment complex that she would be calling home, at least for the weekend. Suddenly it seemed more intimidating than the past times she'd been there. 

 

They rode the elevator in silence the atmosphere slowly becoming more and more awkward at the domestic situation they suddenly found themselves thrust into. Her cheeks coloured remembering what position they'd been in just a few hours ago, it seemed like days had passed since Killian was working his way up her thigh. As her mind wandered her body followed suit, warming at her core, aching to be touching him again. Her eyes glanced his direction, he was brooding, probably worrying about who was threatening her but she didn't care anymore she just wanted to be with him.

 

Biting her lip to try and distract her mind with pain wasn't working. Finally he looked at her, "Emma?" 

 

Her chest rose and fell with each breath trying to fight the building need inside her. She opened her mouth to speak but before she could say his name the elevator stopped and the doors opened at Killian's front door. 

 

He smiled at her and lifted her case following her to the door; setting it down again to dig in his pocket for his key. 

 

Her hands fidgeted at her sides impatiently, she thought about throwing herself on him right there but a look up revealed a security camera.   

 

Finally the jingling sound of the keys in the door drew her attention back to him, she followed him into the apartment and no sooner had he closed the door behind him then she pushed him against the wall her lips hungry for his kisses, her body starved of his touch. 

 

She knocked the breath out of him, taking him completely by surprise, not that he minded. His body instantly reacted to her and by the time his brain caught up she was already lifting his sweater over his head and reaching for his belt. 

 

"Whoa whoa, love, slow down...I don't think this is a good idea"

 

His words fell heavy on her like a tonne of bricks. She jumped back as if his touch burned her, his words tunnelling deeper into her soul leaving her emotions in a pile of rubble.  

 

He saw the pain written across her features and rushed to correct himself. 

 

"Emma, I just meant that after everything that's happened tonight, it's a lot to process without adding our first time...together to the mix of emotions...I just think we should get some rest..." 

 

She stood there shivering, the events of the night finally taking their toll on her. Killian brushed away a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb then slid it down to lift her chin up until she was looking at him. 

 

His eyes were full of compassion "Emma I want this...I thought I made that clear tonight. I want you, I want us! I just need..." he raised his hand and scratched behind his ear "I need to know it's not a reaction to what's going on..."

 

She saw the insecurity behind his admission, he needed time, time to know that she really wanted him, not just some human comfort. She could give him that, but there was still something she needed...

 

"I don't want to be alone tonight". Her voice was reduced to a shaky whisper. She didn't need sex but she did need him. 

 

He gently wrapped his arms around her, "you don't have to sleep alone". His promise wrapped around her heart like a warm blanket. She leaned into him while they walked into his bedroom. 

 

She quickly moved into the bathroom to brush her teeth pausing for a moment when she finished before setting her toothbrush next to his in the holder. She took a step back and observed the scene before her, two little plastic sticks making her imagine things she really shouldn't be imagining this early in the relationship, things she instantly chased out of her mind before joining Killian back in his bedroom. He stepped into the bathroom and she changed into pyjama bottoms and a thin white vest then slipped into the California king bed. It felt like heaven, the memory foam mattress, clothed in Egyptian cotton sheets and a heavy down comforter, Emma sunk into it with a satisfied sigh. 

 

By the time Killian returned she was already half asleep, tucked into his bed like a tiny burrito. He smiled, feeling the need to pinch himself, when he woke up that morning the last thing he expected was Emma in his bed.  He quickly slid out of his jeans leaving him just in his boxers and white V-neck shirt then he crawled in beside her. 

 

She murmured something sleepily that he couldn't quite make out reaching behind her, fingers fumbling in the dark sheets until they clasped of their prize, his wrist at the stump where he'd removed his prosthetic, and pulled it towards her so his arm wrapped around her waist as she scooted back settling against his warm body as they both drifted together into sleep. 

 

 

*

 

He awoke to the tension in his groin caused by the woman beside him stirring awake and pushing her ass firmer against his growing bulge. 

 

"Good morning beautiful" he softly spoke into her ear. 

 

She twisted her body so she could face him, fingers teasing the few chest hairs that poked out of the top of his t shirt, she raised her eyes from his chest up to meet his own, heavy with want staring straight back at her. 

 

"Well, it certainly is good..." she teased flashing a glance down to where his body gave him away. A fact he seemed unashamed of. 

 

"You seem to have quite the effect on me, Miss Swan."  

 

"Does this mean we can move on from your reservations last night?" 

 

In a swift move he flipped her on her back, hovering over her body, his face level with hers, noses barely grazing each other. "Well you seem to be well rested and undeterred by last night’s excitement." 

 

"I am...” her teeth nibbled her lip flirtatiously, “I know why you waited Killian and I admire you for it, but now you have kept me safe...it's time for you to keep me sated." 

 

He stared at her in wonder, Emma was here in his arms, in his bed, asking him to sate her; he blinked just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.   


"You're making it very difficult to be a gentleman, love!"  


She smiled wickedly, sliding her hands down her torso curling her fingers under the hem of her top "you've ticked every box on the gentlemen list....you've watched out for me..." she slowly started to lift her shirt revealing her stomach "...you've waited for me..." her fingers crawled up pulling her top with them "...and you've protected me..." she sat up pushing him back so they were sitting facing each other and then lifted herself on his lap straddling him, his hand and wrist gently resting on her hips "...but you promised me when I was ready there would be no holding back; you've been a prince, now I want my pirate..." she lifter her top over her head and tossed it to the floor.  


His eyes, heavy and dark, scaled across her stomach, breasts, neck, and then back to her face, the corner of his mouth rising along with his eyebrow cocking as he licked his lips. He wasted no time in tilting his head down, his lips captured hers, mouths wide and hungry he kissed her relentlessly as if his life depended on it. His warm hand lifted to her breast, his thumb circling its peak making her moan into his mouth.   


She roughly pulled his shirt over his head, their hands roaming over each other's bodies exploring thoroughly. She rose up on her knees allowing him to tug her pyjamas down when they heard a voice.   


"Killian....killian, wake up we need to..."   


The door flung open and Emma squealed diving under the covers, peeking out enough to see a short burly man with a beard who seemed as shocked to see her as she was to see him.   


"Bloody hell Leeroy! Haven't you heard of knocking?!" Killian hissed.   


"I...um...I didn't think you'd...sorry...” he spun around facing the other way.”We need to talk now...it's urgent...get dressed...I'll wait in the living room."   


The little man rushed out the room and Emma groaned. "Who the hell was that? Does he live here?"   


Killian collapsed down on his back beside her, rubbing his hand across his face in frustration. "It's my manager Leeroy, and no he doesn't live here but he does have a key...he's not used to me...entertaining here...but this..." he signalled between them, "is getting fucking painful!"    


Emma chewed on her lip fighting back the giggles. "Well the sooner you go talk to him the sooner he can leave and we can get back to more important things! I'm going to jump in the shower."  She kissed him on the cheek and he watched her crawl out of bed and walk to the bathroom, giving him one last smile over her shoulder.   


"I'm screwed!" He muttered under his breath.   


When he joined Leeroy in his large living room the morning light shone through though the large windows filling the light blue room, decorated with dark brown accents.   


His manager was talking angrily on the phone, Killian half listened in while he made some coffee.  


"...yes I understand it's bad publicity right before the premiere...yes I know...I'm doing everything I can...I'm trying to get the article taken down..."  


Killian's ears pricked up, that didn't sound good...Leeroy marched up to him, still in a heated conversation on the phone, and shoved a tablet in Killian's hand.  He looked down at the news article illuminating the screen, the headline causing his whole body to tense. 

  


**Alcoholic and serial adulterer Killian Jones' sordid affair with ex-convict**

**  
** **_Celebrity chef Killian Jones finds himself in the midst of scandal again after breaking up yet another marriage, this time with ex-convict Emma Swan who was formally with his sous chef.  Jones knowingly pursued the relationship, causing Miss Swan to leave her partner of 4 years, but stealing the girl wasn't enough apparently because he fired his sous chef days later._ **

****

**_Emma Swan was arrested in 2008 for theft and despite finding herself in a prison fight only served 3 years for her crime. Another example of our failing justice system._ **

****

**_Back in 2002 Killian Jones drove his car off the road killing his then band manager and lover Milah Gold, who was married to entrepreneur and philanthropist Richard Gold. Though no tests were done at the time some suspected Killian Jones was driving under the influence as it was widely speculated that the troubled musician struggled with alcohol abuse. The then frontman of The Lost Boys, who ironically has just opened his own cocktail bar, was also suspected of domestic violence; Mr. Gold reported that his wife often returned home with unexplained bruises._ **

****

**_It seems history is repeating itself as he falls into the cycle again with Miss Swan who had to call police out to her apartment last night. Details of the domestic disturbance are still unknown; police have refused to comment at this time as it is an active investigation. This disturbing news comes just days before the premiere of his new cooking competition show Iron Chef._ **

__  
  


Killian's hand shook with anger as his eyes scanned the article. Just then Leeroy finished his call and angrily tossed his cell into the leather sofa.   


"A heads up would have been nice! We could have announced your relationship, gotten ahead of it with our own positive spin. But no, you left me in the dark about your girlfriend and her past! How can I protect you if you don't trust me?"    


It was enough to put Killian over the edge, "This is all bullshit!"  His voice boomed, his face quickly turning deep red and he spat as he spoke, "You know it all lies! Emma and I were going to go public at the premiere, I was going to talk to you today...as for her being an ex-convict it's obviously more disgusting lies...there's no way it's true!"   


"Actually it is..." her soft voice had both men's heads snapping up in her direction. 

  
"Emma?"   


The horror on Killian's face broke her heart; she stood their wringing her hands, stumbling over her words trying to get them out before the flood gates opened.   


"It's not exactly how they've written it but when I was a teenager I was arrested for stealing watches"   


Her head dropped and shoulders began to gently shake.   


"You didn't think this was important to tell me? I'm a public figure...they'll use anything and twist it to turn against me!"   


"I'm sorry" she sniffled, "I thought you said our pasts didn't matter..."   


Leeroy cleared his throat, "Maybe I should leave you two..."  


"No" Emma insisted, trying to sound strong despite her voice shaking, "you are the ones who has to deal with the press so you should hear the truth."   


Leeroy nodded and took a seat; Emma sat on the sofa opposite him, Killian stayed frozen in place arms folded across his chest.   


She took a moment to regain her composure, she could feel Killian's steely stare on her back.  


"I got mixed up with this guy when I was a teenager, he was into a lot of shady stuff and we'd occasionally shop lifted the odd chocolate bar or pair of sunglasses at gas stations, sometimes broke into people's houses who were on vacation just for somewhere to hang out...you know, stupid rebellious kid stuff...anyway this went on for a year and then one day he gave me a bag of stuff to hold while he went to meet a guy about a job, next thing I knew I was being searched by the police, his bag was full of stolen watches...he'd set me up and I was arrested for something I didn't do."   


Killian dropped his arms and walked round to sit next to Emma as she continued.   


"I was in prison for 3 years before they released me early on good behaviour.”  


Killian reached his hand over to hers, regretting his reaction to the news.

 

"Emma, I..." 

 

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I just don't talk about it, it's in the past and I never dreamed it would come out like this...I would have told you eventually..."   


"Hey, hey, love...its ok. I shouldn't have snapped at you, I was just shocked, you're right, it is in the past. I'm sorry it happened to you and that you have to relive it again."  

 

She let him hold her hand.

 

Leeroy looked between the two of them, haunted by their past mistakes being forced to relive them in front of the rest of the world. He felt his tough cold exterior melt a little. 

 

"I am working on getting the article taken down from the site, a public apology, and we have grounds to sue for slander, the problem is that several over media outlets have picked up on it and either published their own version quoting this site or they've at least got you on their radar, the world will be watching to see how you both react to this."

 

"What article?" Emma asked. Killian handed her the tablet and watched her as she read, her brows furrowing as she scrolled the ugly story. His jaw clenched as the colour drained from her face. Finally she set the tablet down and looked up at him, her eyes full of questions she was afraid to ask. 

 

"A lot of that is made up but there is some truth, I'll tell you everything later today, I promise." 

 

She nodded, knowing there was more she needed to tell him too, once they were alone. 

 

"I suggest you take to twitter and tell your fans about your new relationship.  Keep it upbeat; you need your fans on your side, the more you interact the more they will feel they know you and they'll trust your side of the story"

 

Killian glanced at Emma, silently asking her permission. She gave him a nod and small smile. 

 

Leeroy stood up, "I'm going to set up some interviews and a photo shoot for you before you go back to LA on Monday, we can use this to our advantage to get some positive publicity for you. I'll call you this afternoon." 

 

Leeroy packed up his make shift office and nodded at the two of them, offering Emma an apologetic smile. He wondered if she knew what she was getting herself into, every aspect of their lives would be in the public eye, Killian's fans could be brutal, he remembered how hatful they were to Milah at times, and she was a tough, fiery woman. He hoped for Emma's sake she could withstand the pressure. 

 

The door closed with a quiet click leaving Emma and Killian alone in silence with their skeletons lurking from their closets, two dark pasts hanging over them like storm clouds threatening to open the heavens at any given moment. 

 

"How about I make us some breakfast?" 

 

Emma laughed at how absurdly normal his question sounded for a morning that had been anything but normal. 

 

The sound of her laugh filled him with relief, they had a hard conversation ahead of them but maybe they could actually get through this together and come out stronger for it. 

 

"Any requests?" He raised his eyebrow, that charming smile gracing his lips again. 

 

"I wouldn't say no to French toast and bacon..." 

 

"Coming right up! Care to join me in the kitchen?"

 

She followed him, perching on a dark mahogany stool, her elbows resting in the breakfast bar while she watched him work nursing a mug of coffee.

 

"I'm going to go public with our relationship today but I think we need to talk before I do...I want to make sure you know everything, I don't want there to be secrets between us." He talked as he worked, whisking the eggs then laying bacon out in a large cast iron pan. 

 

"I think that's a good idea, I have more I need to tell you too, this is all so crazy...I never expected the media to even care about me let alone try to air my dirty laundry!" 

 

"I'm sorry, love, I truly am, I'll always do my best to protect you from it. Perhaps this was a good thing, it'll teach us to be more vigilant, now we know how closely we're being watched." 

 

The bacon sizzled in the pan while Killian dipped the bread in the egg and added it to a second frying pan. Emma sat upright suddenly realising something. 

 

"Wait a minute!" 

 

Killian looked up from his cooking.

 

"Watching us...you're right" she exclaimed.

 

"I am?" He asked, not sure where she was going with this.

 

"How did the writer of that article know there was a disturbance at my apartment last night? How did they know to ask the police...unless..."

 

"They were involved or tipped off by someone who was" Killian finished her sentence. "We need to contact the police." 

 

"I doubt there is much they can do; the reporter doesn't have to give up their source." 

 

Killian's face darkened, "this was all planned, and someone fed that story to them"

 

"Walsh" the name escaped her lips leaving a bitter taste behind.

 

"Without proof we can't prove anything...it's our word against his." 

 

"Yes but at least now we know what we're up against. All the more reason to be honest with each other." She reached her hand across the table resting it on his prosthetic. 

 

"It really doesn't bother you, does it?"   Since the first night he'd met Emma Killian had noticed that she treated his prosthetic as if it were really his hand, something no one else had done. 

 

"Why would it bother me? It's a part of you and I happen to be rather fond of every part of you..." 

 

He beamed like a school boy, "I'm rather fond of you too." He sighed and grew serious, "but it's time I told you the truth about how I lost it.”

 

He piled the food onto two plates and signalled for Emma to follow him to a small table with two chairs on his balcony.  Once they were seated he began his tale.

 

“When The Lost Boys formed Leeroy hired Milah to help him manage the band, there was an instant connection with her for me even though she was older and married the spark was there from the beginning.  I should have kept my distance but I was young and selfish and I didn't care that she was married, it wasn't long before the affair began, at first we were discreet but after a while word got out. Gold found out about it and Milah wanted to leave but he wouldn't let her, he made her life a misery taking his jealousy out on her.  He started to beat her, she didn't tell me at first but then I noticed the bruises, she begged me not to confront him, she said he'd already threatened my life if she left him..." 

 

He looked out of the New York City skyline, recalling the painful memory.

 

"...she stopped going on tour with us but still came to our local shows, we talked about stopping the relationship but I didn't want to give her up, I convinced her not to leave me and we tried to be discreet again but one night driving to a party a car followed us and drove us off the road, the next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital bed, Milah had died in the accident. It was my fault...if I just let her go she wouldn't have been in the car..."

 

Emma got up and sat in his lap letting him rest his head on her chest while she kissed his head and combed her fingers through his hair trying to offer any comfort she could.

 

"I'm so sorry Killian, it terrible to lose a loved one, and I'm sorry they said those horrible things in that article about you." 

 

"Thanks...it was a long time ago, I just ...every time they bring it up again it's like I have to relive it over and over. I used to have nightmares...I couldn't drive for years without suffering from a panic attack. But...since I've known you, it's not been as bad. I never thought I would be capable to move on from Milah, to love again until...well until I met you." 

 

Emma gently tilted his hand with her hand until he was facing her, tears forming in the corners of his eyes; she leaned down and kissed him, then softly kissed the tear trailing down his cheek. 

 

“My life changed when I met you Killian, I don’t regret it and I want to fight for us, go ahead and make it public.”

 

Killian reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, logging into twitter he held his phone out and said “Smile, love.”

 

“Ahhh, no way, I don’t even have any make up on…”

 

The clicking sound of the camera confirmed he’d taken a picture, Emma scrambled to look at it, she was curled in his arms, her head tucked into his neck, smiling. The morning sunlight reflected across the picture giving it a heavenly streak that he couldn’t have planned if he wanted to, but the thing that struck Emma the most was Killian’s eyes, so full of love. He quickly typed out a tweet and said “Well, Swan, we’re official!”

 

 

**@therealKillianJones: luckiest man in the world to have this angel in my life. #offthemarket**

“Now what?” Emma asked.

 

“Do you have twitter?”

 

“No”

 

“Good, probably best you don’t get one; my fans can be a bit…intense!”

 

He turned his phone off giving her his full attention, “Now what was it you needed to tell me?”


	13. Chapter 13

He turned his phone off, giving her his full attention, "Now what was it you needed to tell me?" 

Her lips parted slightly to speak but she just stared at him. She wanted to tell him about the baby, she needed to tell him but the words didn't come. It had been so long since she'd spoken about it; sometimes it didn't feel real like it was just a horrific dream, but the empty aching in her heart that creeped back from time to time served as a reminder that it was real and as the years past the pain didn't lessen, it remained constant and relentless. The pain, mixed with the fact that once the words left her mouth she couldn't take them back, Killian would know the horrors of what she went through. She hoped it wouldn’t change how he looked at her but how could she be sure? She couldn't bear to see the love, encouragement and understanding radiating from his eyes right now fade into shock, sadness or even worse...pity. 

He raised his eyebrows, smiling lovingly encouraging her to continue. 

 "I um...just wanted to thank you...for being so understanding about my time in prison, for giving me a chance, giving us a chance." 

He tilted his head questioningly; he knew she was holding back but why? If she couldn't trust him now what would it take. He exhaled, deciding not to push her.  

"Of course, love, I'm here for the good and the bad, we're in this together." 

She planted a soft kiss on his cheek, his eyes shutting at the contact, savouring it as if it were a precious gift. "Thank you for telling me about what happened with Milah." 

"People will always try to tear us down Emma, especially now we're public, they'll look for the cracks." Killian warned. 

"And that is why I promise I’m going to choose to see the best in you." 

"And I you"  

He wanted to tell her how he felt, that he fell in love with her weeks ago and his heart was completely at her mercy but if she was still holding back perhaps she wasn't ready to hear it yet.  Instead he held her close hoping she could feel his love, making it easier to accept. After a few moments savoured he shifted under her, reaching for his phone. 

"I better turn it back on, I'm sure I'll be getting instructions from Leroy soon, before I do, is there anything else you wanted to talk about? I'm all yours Emma."  

She shook her head offering him a feeble smile. "Go ahead and talk to your manager, I'll go get dressed and make us some coffee."  

He watched her leave, twirling his phone in his hand wondering what she had been so close to revealing. There was no use in guessing so he turned on his phone, no messages from Leroy yet so, feeling curious, he opened twitter. He'd never been great at having an active presence on social media, only really using it to promote his restaurant and TV show, he usually had around a hundred notifications waiting when he signed in but after his little announcement his mentions were out of control. He scanned through them retweeting a post by the network about the premiere that weekend and a review in the New York Times about Tiger Lily. There were hundreds of reaction tweets to him and Emma from fans, most were positive, then something caught his eye, a tweet from Elsa, the young singer he’d met last month, in reply to the tweet about Iron Chef’s premiere. 

**@ElsaArendelleLive: Can’t wait to see @therealKillianJones do his thing on Iron Chef! Is there anything that man can’t do!  #fangirl**

His eyebrows shot to the top of his head, Elsa had been after him to collaborate on her next album ever since their meeting and she’d always told him she was a big fan; he thought she was just trying to butter him up. He noticed that since she tweeted that 10 minutes ago he’d gained over a thousand of her followers and countless tweets from Elsa fans asking if they knew each other and what Elsa was like in real life.  He decided to tweet her back, Leroy said they needed good publicity and Elsa was one of the biggest stars on the planet so he quickly typed a response. 

**@therealKillianJones: @ElsaArendelleLive You certainly know how to flatter an old man, I assure you there are countless things I can’t do! Enjoy the show!**

Instantly his mentions shot back up again, “this is crazy…how do people keep up with this” he muttered under his breath.   Just then Leroy’s grumpy face filled the screen and Killian hit the ‘accept’ button.  

“Killian, this is great! Your number of followers is rising by the minute; that was a stroke of genius tweeting Elsa, keep the banter up, the media loves an unlikely celeb friendship!” 

“Unlikely? Thanks Leroy, what are you trying to say there, mate?” Killian scoffed. 

“Oh nothing, nothing, you’re a great guy, I’m sure she likes you for your comic book collection…” 

Killian rolled his eyes “When will you leave my comics alone, that collection is worth a fortune!” 

“So you keep telling me! Listen I’m calling to let you know that I managed to get you a photo shoot and interview this afternoon with ‘Breadcrumbs’ magazine and an TV appearance on Good morning America on Monday so you’ll have to fly back to LA Sunday after the charity dinner and auction I’ve gotten you tickets for an event supporting a domestic abuse charity that night, I found out Elsa is going, try and be seen talking to her, you can take Emma as your date if you like. Oh and people magazine want a photo shoot and interview on Saturday…” 

“Leroy, that is my whole weekend filled up!” 

“Yeah that’s the point, that’s what you pay me for Killian! I managed to get the article taken down but enough people read it that your name is on the tip of everyone’s tongues, let’s give them something good to talk about.” 

Killian sighed, “Ok, I trust you, thanks mate” 

He ended the call and went back to twitter, his followers had now risen by another thousand, making him close to 600,000 followers.  He decided to tweet about the event on Sunday. 

**@therealKillianJones: Looking forward to attending The Blue Fairy Charity Auction Sunday night and supporting a great cause with my beautiful date.**

He exited the app and opened a text from Leroy with information about his photo shoot that day.  He grabbed his tablet and started typing, preparing for his interview.  About 20 minutes later Emma appeared.

 “Sorry, Mary Margaret called…” she shrugged. 

“That’s alright” he ran his fingers through his hair, a completely innocent habit of his that he was obviously oblivious to how hot it made him look.  Emma’s face turned tender, offering him a small grin. He rose from his chair to meet her at the breakfast bar; “I actually need to ask you something…” he lifted her onto the bar playfully then swept his tongue across his teeth before asking, “Would you do me the honour of accompanying me as my date to a charity auction on Sunday night?” 

Her face dropped, grimacing apologetically, “I’m sorry Killian, that’s what Mary Margaret was calling me about, Mrs Reynolds, Henry’s carer, has taken ill and she needs someone to have the kids this weekend, Mary Margaret and David can have Roland and Violet but I need to take Henry, I was going to move back to my place on Sunday, August will be there, we’ll be fine.” 

“I don’t suppose anyone else could watch the boy just while you’re out and you can still spend the night at your apartment with him…August maybe?”

Emma shifted awkwardly, “Killian I’m sorry, Henry needs me, I’m not going to leave him for a party.” 

“There must be someone who can look after him Emma, what if you were sick or on vacation? You don’t even work on weekends, they can’t expect you to cancel plans; you’re not his mother” 

“Believe me, I know!” She snapped “Thanks for the fucking reminder!” 

His brows furrowed he didn’t want to sound selfish but he had little time with Emma as it was and he knew Henry meant a lot to her but more than him? Surely someone could watch the lad for a few hours.  Her answer had shocked him to silence, and as they stood there awkwardly staring at each other the shock faded and he realised he was hurt, her choosing Henry over him hurt him and he didn’t know how to respond. 

He opened his mouth to try to speak but was interrupted by a group of people flooding into his house led by Leroy. 

“Ok Killian, last minute change, ‘breadcrumbs’ want’s the shoot here; they want pictures of you in your own kitchen so I’ve called Belle and she is on her way to clean the apartment and here are your hair, make up and stylists.” The manager informed him while directing the traffic to different parts of the room. 

Emma watched the steady stream of people flow inside the house, suddenly feeling very self-aware and overwhelmed with the whirlwind of activity she fled to the bedroom to be alone and take sanctuary.  Killian had seemed upset at her because she couldn’t go to his event but there was nothing she could do.  It was her job; she was responsible for Henry when the Reynold’s weren’t available.  She wanted to support his career and understood that he and Leroy were navigating a minefield of negative publicity after the article but surely he couldn’t expect her to drop everything every time an event came up. Killian would be fine without her, he’d done this kind of thing a million times before, and after all, it was just a pissing contest where the rich could show off their fortunes all in the name of charity and good will.

 She sighed, curling under the blankets and turning on the TV, there was some entertainment news show on that she allowed playing in the background to try and drown out the noises in the rest of the apartment.  For the first time since taking Killian up on his offer she wished she was at her parent’s house away from all this. Looking for a distraction she turned to her phone, she had a load of messages from acquaintances who’d heard the news and wanted to know if it was true, was she Killian Jones’ mysterious new girlfriend.  She ignored most of them; the people closest to her already knew about their relationship, the rest were just looking for gossip or their 15 minutes of fame.  She immediately deactivated her Facebook account and made her Instagram account private. She looked for Killian on Instagram but couldn’t find anything but a couple fan accounts; she was just going to glance through their photos when Killian’s face flashed up on the TV screen. She scrambled to find the remote and turn up the volume. 

_“Ladies and Gentlemen we hate to shatter your hopes but it would appear New York City’s most eligible bachelor is now officially off the market.  Earlier this morning Killian Jones tweeted a picture of him and a mystery blonde with the hashtag ‘offthemarket’. So far we haven’t been able to find out much about the new woman in his life, who we believe to be called Emma Swan, but we will keep you posted as the story unfolds…”_

“Great” Emma thought, “Well there is no hiding it now.” She turned the TV off throwing herself back on the bed with a groan. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here…I’ll come back when you’re finished” A petite pretty woman stood in the doorway, cleaning supplies in hand. 

“Wait! No it’s fine, I’m just getting ready to leave, if I’m not in your way, go ahead” 

"I don't want to intrude...I didn't realise Mr Jones had company staying with him...I can come back..." 

"Please", Emma interrupted, "You must be Belle, Killian speaks very highly of you, my name is Emma and I'm actually just getting my stuff together to go. I was about to clean the room anyway." 

The brunette maid chuckled, "well please don't, you might put me out of a job!" 

"I certainly wouldn't want to do that!" Emma giggled. Then pausing for a moment her brow creased as something occurred to her. "The people close to Killian, you and Leroy, seem to be surprised by me being here." 

Belle started picking up Killian's clothes that he'd left draped on the back of a chair last night and tossing them into a bag then pulled out her feather duster, talking as she worked.  

"Oh that's just because Mr Jones doesn't usually bring women home, especially not to stay..." 

"I'm not staying!" Emma blurted out without thinking then seeing Belle's surprised, and slightly embarrassed expression she rushed to correct herself, "what I mean is...I was just staying for a little bit while my apartment...had work done...but Killian has a lot on so I'm going to go stay with my parents tonight."  

Belle, who was rather perceptive, sensed the new relationship jitters a mile off. She smiled kindly at Emma. "I'm glad he found you, love has been all too rare in his life, and from what he's told me about his last girlfriend he had to share her with her husband...he has never had a healthy stable relationship before, no wonder he's so protective of you." 

"What makes you say he's protective?" Emma asked.  

A grin spread across Belle's face, "he didn't tell us about you, he always keeps the things most important to him close to his chest...so to speak..."  

Emma blushed at the implication then shook her head, "he didn't keep it secret for very long, he announced it to the world today."  

"Leroy's brain wave no doubt" belle murmured.  

"He didn't have a choice, the media found out somehow anyway, he wanted to try and put a positive spin on it." Emma wasn't really sure why she felt the need to defend Killian's decision.  

"I understand, it's the price he pays for being a celebrity."  Satisfied with her dusting Belle started spraying glass cleaner on the mirrors and polishing them furiously. She stopped and turned to Emma, "Mr Jones is a good man, he's loyal and kind and has a lot of love to give, I'm so happy he found you." 

As Belle moved into the bathroom to clean Emma quickly changed into some jeans and a red sweater then collected her discarded clothes from the floor and stuffed them into her case.  

Meanwhile Killian was trying to listen to instructions about the photo shoot but his mind kept wandering back to Emma and her reaction to what he said about Henry. He'd obviously said something that irritated her to make her lash out like that but he had no idea what, something to do with the boy. He sighed; he would never be able to get through the interview while he was this distracted. He excused himself muttering something about needing the bathroom and he made his way to his bedroom. He opened the door to find Emma zipping up her suitcase.   

"Emma...you're leaving?"  It felt as if someone had punched him in the gut, his voice began to shake, "Look, Emma, I didn't mean to upset you earlier, I know something I said offended you but that was never my intention." 

She tilted her head sympathetically "I know, and I'm sorry for snapping at you, you just struck a nerve but I know it was unintentional." 

"Then why are you leaving me?" 

"Wait!"  Both their head snapped in the direction of the bathroom where Belle jumped out from behind the door.  

"Belle?"  Killian looked between his girlfriend and his maid. 

Belle held up her hands, "this should be a private conversation; I'll go make sure your kitchen looks as enticing as your food."  She scurried out the room, shutting the door behind her.  

Killian stepped towards Emma reaching his hand out to her, "Emma, talk to me, I don't want this to be over before it had a chance to start; I don't want to lose you." 

She took his trembling hand in both of hers, "I don't want to lose you either." 

"Then stay another night, talk to me tonight when I finish, I want to understand, Emma, please trust me." He pleaded. 

Emma swallowed down the lump in her throat; she wasn't used to a man trying so hard to make a relationship work, trying to understand her. She sighed. "Alright, I'll stay tonight but I need to get out of this house, I'm going to go meet Ruby for coffee."  

"At gold's?" She saw the panic form in his eyes.  

"No, Ruby got the day off so we'll go somewhere closer to here, probably Granny's diner." She assured him.  

He didn't like the thought of her being out in the open, he was still worried about Walsh, but he couldn't keep her cooped up in his apartment. "Ok."  He said reluctantly, "tell Ruby I say hi."   

She leaned up planting a kiss in his lips. "I will, and I'll let you know when we arrive and when I leave to come home. 

 

**

 

Emma sat twisting her coffee cup around watching the flower design in the foam spin around, something about the movement calmed her, it was as if the faster the flower spun around the slower her thoughts did.  The past 48 hours had been crazy; she couldn’t even remember feeling so many different emotions in so short a space of time. She needed this time away from the chaos, a moment to try and sort through how she felt about this 180 degree change in lifestyle.  She still felt very much like Emma but it was just the beginning, people who want to know about her, strangers would have opinions about her, eventually she would need security, her life and her love would no longer just be hers, the world would expect a piece of it.  And then there was the added schedule for Killian, there would be times that Killian would be away for weeks, potentially months, or what if he had to move for work, would she move with him? She was so consumed with her thoughts she wasn’t aware of the shadowy figure across the street watching her from behind a newspaper vender’s cart.  Had Emma’s mind been clearer she perhaps would have felt that sixth sense instilled in us all, when a shiver runs up your spine, a faint feeling of unease rests in your gut, the sensation, raising the hairs on the back of your neck that alerts you to the fact you’re being watched.  

She excused the shiver as a draft, the hairs sticking up as the contrast of the cold air and the warm coffee she was sipping, and the feeling of unease she attributed to her new state of upheaval staying at Killian’s apartment.  It wasn’t until Emma lifted her eyes to look for Ruby when she saw the silhouette looming, just for a split second before a bus stopped at the lights, obstructing her view, she blinked a few times and the bus drove on and the spot where she was so sure she’d seen a familiar stance was now empty.  She shook her head, reprimanding herself for her paranoia. 

Just then Ruby waltzed through the door, arms full of shopping bags and her heels clicking loudly on the floor as she strutted towards Emma and slumped in the seat across from her. 

“So what’s this I hear about Killian Jones’ new ‘mysterious blonde’ being made official on twitter!” She teased her friend, her eyes twinkling and Emma could tell that Ruby was just bursting to hear all about it.  

She rolled her eyes pretending to not care but the flush of pink on her cheeks gave her true feelings away. 

“Oh my god, you’re completely smitten with him!” 

“Shhhh, will you stop shouting!” 

Ruby didn’t even try to hide her glee at her friend’s new found romance; this was everything she wanted for Emma. 

“So I take it this new found admiration mean’s you guys finally sealed the deal…” Ruby added slyly, giving her friend a seductive wink. 

Emma looked away, chewing her lip, “Well not quite…” 

“What? What the hell are you waiting for Ems?” 

“We’ve tried…more than once…” Emma looked down at the spinning foam in her coffee cup again, wishing she could just dive in and swim away from Ruby’s interrogation. 

Her best friend leaned in closer, “what’s wrong…is he having…issues…” 

“Oh god, no! Nothing like that, we just keep getting interrupted.” Emma filled her friend in on the past 48 hours; the events after thanksgiving at her parent’s house, the threat, moving in with Killian, Leroy’s interruption, the article, and Killian’s last minute crazy schedule this weekend.  Ruby lapped up every word, her face morphing from rage, to worry, to sympathy.  

“So that’s why you guys went public…I did wonder, I’ve followed that man on twitter for years and he never posts more than a promotional retweet or commentary on whatever sport he’s watching England play…” 

“You follow Killian on twitter?” Emma was startled by the revelation. 

“Sure, he was one of the first accounts I followed when I got it, have your seen his photo shoots from when he was in The Lost Boys?” 

“Erm…no?” 

Ruby rolled her eyes and whipped out her phone, “You really should get twitter Ems, it’s a goldmine of delicious pictures and gifs of your boyfriend…” 

“Killian told me not to.” 

Ruby frowned, “Why?” 

“I guess he wanted to protect me from negative comments, he said some of his fans could get a little intense” she shrugged. 

“We should make you a fan account, then you can see what people say, there are always going to be crazies but the majority of his fans really love him, he wouldn’t ever have to know!” Ruby, never one to follow rules, mischievously suggested. 

“I dunno, Ruby…” 

“Well at least let me show you some of his pictures!” 

“I guess there’d be no harm in a quick peek…” Ruby turned her phone to show Emma a picture from his latest shoot and her jaw almost hit the table. “Damn he looks good!” 

“Yeah girl, that’s your man!” 

Emma shook her head, “Sometimes it’s hard to believe I’m dating Killian Jones…with me he’s just Killian, and it  feels natural…” 

“That’s a good thing!” Ruby insisted. 

Emma’s phone buzzed on the table drawing her eyes away from Killian’s steamy photos to where his name was flashing on her screen, she picked it up and answered. 

“Hi love, they are finished here but want to take some shots at The Jolly Roger so we’re headed there now. I’ve told Tony, my doorman to let you in if I’m not back before you.” 

“Ok, is it ok if I bring Ruby back to your place for dinner?” she tried not to laugh as her friend bounced up and down like a child on Christmas morning across the booth from her. 

“Of course, Ruby is more than welcome! I had to cook for the photo shoot so there is wild mushroom risotto and cheese souffle at home you guy can have.” 

“Thanks Killian…how is it going anyway?”

 “It’s been ok, I’ve finished the interview…they asked me about you…but I kept it pretty coy for now, much to Leroy’s annoyance, I just wanted to make sure we’re alright before…you know.” 

She smiled sadly, she hadn’t intended to make him doubt her love for him, but then she hadn’t told him yet how she truly felt.  She made her mind up there and then that when he returned home tonight she would explain everything to him and finally reveal exactly how she felt about him.

 

**

 

“I cannot believe I am in Killian Jones’ house! This place is incredible!” Ruby stood wide eyed in the middle of the living room.  

“He has a house in the Hamptons too but he spends most of his time here.” Emma added. 

“Ok so give me a tour then!” 

Emma led Ruby around the two guestrooms, study, and finally Killian’s bedroom.  “So this is where the magic happens…or doesn’t happen in your case!” She teased. 

Emma rolled her eyes while Ruby reached for the top drawer saying, “So is Killian a boxers or briefs man?” 

The blonde immediately intercepted her friend and shut the drawer.  “That’s privileged information” she laughed.  “Come on let’s eat!” 

The girls spent the evening giggling, eating, gossiping, and sipping on a bottle of wine that probably worth more than what either of them made in a month. Finally midnight came and Ruby had to leave.  Now on her own with still no sign of Killian Emma made her way to bed, turning the TV on in the hopes of staying awake until he returned.

 

**

 

Killian opened his front door and entered the darkness cloaked apartment.  He could hear the faint sounds of the TV coming from his bedroom filling with hope that Emma had stayed up for him but when he walked into the room he saw her sitting up in bed, propped against the pillows, remote in hand fast asleep.  He felt awful, the shoot had gone on longer than he had wanted.  He sighed, peeling off his clothes down to his boxers and slid in beside Emma, who he scooted down slightly so she was lying down beside him.  He kissed her head, turned off the light and tried to fight his frustrations at settling in for another night beside Emma without truly being with her.

 

**

 

When he awoke the next morning he reached out to an empty bed. Jumping up he rushed into the living room and breathed a sigh of relief when he found her standing in the kitchen making coffee in her pyjama bottoms and tank top. He hurried over to her throwing his arms around her waist and burying his nose in her hair.  

“Killian!” She jumped “I didn’t know you were up.” 

“I thought you’d left” 

She turned in his arms so she could wrap hers around his shoulders planting a kiss on his lips. “I didn’t want to wake you, I was just making you some coffee and toast…it’s about the best breakfast you’ll get from me” she laughed. 

Relief filled his heart and he kissed her again, holding her tighter than he intended, needing to feel her warmth against him, “I missed you yesterday” he whispered against her lips.  

“I missed you too, we should talk now while we have the chance” the last thing she wanted to do was talk, much preferring to lose herself in Killian’s kisses and perhaps finally move things into the bedroom but she knew this would hang over them until she told Killian the truth.  She pulled back suddenly realising Killian was the most undressed she’d ever seen him, standing there in only his boxers. “But first you’re going to have to put some more clothes on because this…” she waved her hand up and down the length of his body, “…is really distracting!” 

He grinned, his eyes darkening.  He fought the urge to pick her up and carry her to bed and simply leaned forward brushing his lips against her ear and whispered slowly “As you wish” before strolling back into his bedroom with a swagger Emma had to smile at. 

When he returned she was sitting on the couch with a plate of toast and two mugs of coffee waiting.  The grey sweatpants and tight white t-shirt he’d opted for hadn’t made him any less attractive; Emma closed her eyes to a second to gather her thoughts. 

“When do you have to leave for today’s shoot?” She asked, taking a sip of her coffee. 

“11, but it’s upstate, it’ll be another full day I’m afraid” He didn’t try to hide his frustration at Leroy’s manic last minute schedule for him. 

She stroked his arm, “Leroy is just trying to help you, I’ve realised I can’t be selfish with you, we’ll figure out how to make the time we have together count.” She offered. 

His eyebrow shot up, “I like the sound of that…” he licked his bottom lip making her instantly blush. “But first I can’t help but feel like you’ve been holding something back from me.  Whatever it is Emma, whatever you’ve done it won’t change how I feel about you…I love you.” The words left his mouth before he could talk himself out of it, she sat there frozen for a moment, replaying his words over and over in her mind, a smile eventually forming on her lips, as tears pooled in her eyes one escaped down her cheek.  All the pain she’d been feeling that morning in anticipation of telling Killian her secret faded away and was replaced with joy, quickly followed by the strength to trust him with her burden.  

“I love you too” She said it slowly and confidently so there would be no doubt in his mind, this wasn’t a reaction to his own revelation; it was a truth she’d been living for days now.  She leaned forward at pressed her lips to his, losing herself in the slow passionate rhythm of his kiss, slowly climbing onto his lap while their lips remained fused together.   All the emotion, heartache, uncertainty and hope of the last few days met on their lips in that kiss. His fingers roamed through the strands of her hair while her own travelled up his arms and down onto his chest resting over his heart.  When their lips finally parted they couldn’t bear to move further apart so instead rested their foreheads together as the caught their breath. 

As their breathing slowed back to a normal pace Killian gently pulled his head back, his eyes searching her face.  “Tell me what happened Emma, share your burden with me and we’ll face it together, nothing you say could make me love you less.” 

She took a deep breath hoping to god that was true! She shifted off his lap and turned on the couch so she was facing him then took his hand for support. 

“Ok, everything I told you yesterday about going to prison was true but there’s more to the story…”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, here is the next chapter right on time! Whoop! Ok so I've teased you guys a lot and you've been so patient so finally here is Emma's full story and some pay out for all that sexual tension building up! You're Welcome! This was strongly fuelled by your comments and encouragement, You really have no idea what your support on this means to me! I always love to hear what you think and I try to get back to as many of you as possible on here and twitter.
> 
> This is also the longest fan fic chapter I have ever written!

"Ok, everything I told you yesterday about going to prison was true but there's more to the story..." 

She paused trying to find the courage to continue. Killian squeezed her hand, "its ok, love". He smiled encouragingly. 

She dropped her eyes to her hands; it was easier not to look at him. "As I told you, my boyfriend set me up to take the fall for his crime...but he gave me more than a prison sentence, a month into my time behind bars I found out I was carrying his child."  She swallowed the words, too scared to look at Killian she pushed on. "When I was 20 weeks pregnant one of the other prisoners started harassing my cellmate, I stood up for her, told the woman to stop...she didn't like being confronted and attacked me." Tears started to stream down Emma's face, she could feel Killian's thumb stroking her hand. She took a moment to regain her composure then wiping away the tears with the back of her free hand she continued, "When the guards finally broke up the fight it was too late, I was rushed to the hospital but I'd lost the baby and had mass internal bleeding."  

She was starting to shake and Killian pulled her back into his lap rocking her while she cried softly. 

"I'm so sorry you went through that Emma" He whispered as he stroked her hair.  

Her breathing slowed back to a normal pace and sniffling she began to play with the hem of her top, nervously picking at it. "There isn't a word for it, you know, when you lose a child...if you lose a husband you're a widow, growing up without parents was hard but at least I knew what I was; an orphan. After the attack I didn't know what I was anymore, just a childless mother...I still don't know what I am..." she sobbed.  

Killian gently slid Emma off his lap back onto the couch and kneeled at her feet, cupping her face in his hand waiting patiently until she looked up at him. "You are Emma Swan, the strongest, sweetest, most selfless woman I've met, that is the only label you need! You've seen so much darkness in your life yet you only radiate light, you're a marvel Emma Swan, a bloody marvel!"  

She fell into his arms as they embraced on the floor of Killian's apartment, for the first time in years Emma allowed herself to accept the pain of losing her child and she cried like she'd never cried before in the safety of his arms. Killian didn't rush her or try to stop the tears or tell her it was ok; he just held her allowing her to take all the time she needed. He tightened his hold on her wishing he could take some of her pain and feel it for her, just to offer her some relief. Since that was impossible he did all he could do to show her that he wasn't going anywhere, her secret didn't scare him or make him think less of her. As her sobs died down into sniffles and then into slow steady breathing a thought occurred to him, he kissed her head and asked softly, "Henry? Is this why you feel so connected to him?" 

She kept her head pressed against his chest finding comfort in the sound of his heartbeat as she spoke. "When Henry's file showed up on my desk I saw his birthdate, it was the same as my due date. The doctor told me the baby I lost was a boy; he would have been Henry's age exactly..." 

Suddenly it all made sense to Killian; hers and Henry's bond was so strong; he was a boy without a mother and she a mother without a son brought together by chance...or maybe fate? No wonder she felt so protective over him.  

"Thank you for telling me Emma, for trusting me with this. I promise I will do everything in my power to protect you and Henry and keep this out of the media's reach but I have to ask...does Walsh know, because if he does he could make this public to hurt you." 

Emma shook her head, "no, I was on my way home to tell him the night I found him cheating...only Mary Margaret and David know, I never told anyone else, not even Ruby. I just had to tell Walsh because we were getting married and..." she lifted her hand to wipe away a fresh tear and took a deep breath. "I know it's early in our relationship but I guess you should know this too...because of the injuries I sustained in the attack it is highly unlikely that I'll be able to have any more children of my own."  She continued taking deep breaths to get through what she had to say, "and I haven't told anyone that before not even Mary Margaret and David, I know how much they'd love grandchildren, well foster grandchildren, and I just can't shatter that dream for them...so if you had hopes for children of your own, Killian, you should walk away now because this isn't a casual thing for me, I love you and I need you to understand what loving me means...what you'd miss out on."  

He pulled back and lifted her chin so her eyes met his gaze; it was too easy to get lost in those blue eyes, drawing her in like the waves of the ocean. "I want you to look at me, Emma, so you understand the sincerity of my words.  The love I feel for you is stronger than anything I have ever felt in my life, it overshadows all the pain, abandonment, loss, and even all the things I thought made me happy or brought me peace before, I am lost in your love and I don't ever want to be found. I have no expectations of our future just that I can spend as much of it as possible by your side. I love you for the woman who is sitting here in front of me today, not for what you could potentially give me down the line. This, what we have right now is what I want forever."  

She lunged towards him knocking him over onto his back with the force of her kiss. He chuckled as she showered his face in kisses but never straying far from his lips always returning to them after nibbling his jaw, neck, and ear. Positioned on top, straddling him she slowed, deepening their kiss to something much more loving and passionate, her tongue explored his mouth as her fingers navigated their way up his torso behind his neck and burying themselves in his hair earning her a satisfied groan from Killian now returning her kiss in full force, his hand resting on her hip, his thumb tracing patterns on her abdomen.  

She parted their lips just enough to hoarsely request "let's take this to the bedroom" 

"Leroy will be here any second" Killian panted. God, she loved him like this, all worked up with messy hair, lips full and red from their kisses.  

"I don't care!"  She kissed him again, her hands pulling at his shirt. 

"Ok, let me call downstairs and tell them to make him wait. If I start and have to stop again it might kill me!" 

Emma smiled coyly, "We better not keep them waiting too long"  

"Honestly, love, I don't think that will be a problem!" Killian admitted, already wrecked. 

Emma giggled as he reached for his phone; she could feel the excitement building inside her, butterflies soaring around her stomach. Her exhilaration was short lived when the front door opened just as Killian put his phone to his ear, the familiar stout frame of Killian's manager entered. 

 "For fuck's sake, Leroy!" Emma growled, startling the poor man and causing Killian to raise his brow in amusement at her language. 

"Um...I...erm...did I do something wrong?"  Leroy stuttered. 

Emma sighed, turning and walking into Killian's bedroom slamming the door behind her at full force.  

Leroy turned to Killian lifting his hands in confusion.  

"Sorry mate...you seem to have a frustrating ability to show up at the most impromptu times."  He blushed slightly, trying to smooth his hair back down.  

Leroy reflected his embarrassment, "Look Killian I'm glad you've found someone...even if it is a publicity nightmare...but do you really have to be at it like rabbits?"  

Killian couldn't help but choke out a laugh, throwing his head back in exasperation. "Actually we've been quite the opposite...thanks in no small part to you and your impeccable timing! Now I'm not going to see Emma until the premiere next week, she isn't really mad at you, just frustrated at our current situation."  

Leroy shifted on his feet, "well it’s my job to keep you busy... 

"Perhaps you need to adjust my schedule from now on to accommodate the fact that I now have a girlfriend." 

"I’ll keep that in mind, send me Emma's email and I'll get her schedule from her so I can make sure you guys have time for...coffee or dinner or whatever..."  

"I'd appreciate that."  Killian patted his friend and manager on the back, "let me throw a bag together and say goodbye to Emma, I'll be ready to leave soon."  He went to his room and opened his wardrobe pulling out a satchel he opened his drawers and threw in some deodorant, boxers, a spare t shirt and some aftershave. It was when he was zipping the bag up that he noticed the sound of running water in the bathroom. A twist of his head and he saw steam leaving the en suite under the door accompanied by the warm yellow glow of candlelight and the smell of vanilla. The water stopped and he walked towards the door knocking on it lightly, "Emma?"  

"I'm having a bath, you need in here?" She called out. 

He hesitated for a moment, the gentleman in him fighting the pirate. The fact that he'd already seen her almost completely naked convinced him that it was ok to push open the door.  

The scene in front of him wasn't one he would quickly forget. Emma was sitting back in his bath, arms spread along the rim of the copper free-standing tub, and her blonde locks piled high on her head. The bubbles rose high enough to cover her stopping at the swell of her breasts, his eyes wandered up to her collarbone, up her long slim neck to her jaw and her pink lips curled up at the side in a grin that told him she knew exactly what she was doing to him. 

"Wanna join me Captain?" The words slipped off her tongue like silk. 

 He groaned dropping to his knees beside her. Resting his arms on the rim of the tub he dipped one finger in the water causing ripples as it glided around the water’s surface. She watched the water while he watched her, memorising every aspect of this perfect picture so he could take it with him to get him through the week.  

"You know, you could just take a picture."  She finally lifted her gaze to his giving him the most sensual bedroom eyes he'd ever seen. 

"You're going to be the death of me, Emma Swan, but bloody hell what a way to go!" 

She giggled moving over to the side of the bath so she was in front of him, lifting her hands to cradle the sides of his head she leaned forward and kissed him. When she finally pulled away it was with a promise filled whisper, "L.A." 

"L.A." He whispered back. 

Reluctantly he stood, taking in the scene once more, he reached into his pocket pulling out his phone, "smile, Love" she gave him her sexiest pose and chuckling he took the picture and returning his phone to his pocket said, "You’re stunning, Swan"

 "Just so we're clear, that picture does not go on Twitter!" 

"No chance! This is for my eyes only; I'm not sharing you with anyone." He leaned down again to kiss her forehead and turned to leave, stopping in the doorway remembering something, "oh and I gave Leroy your email, he is going to ask for your schedule so he can make sure when he's making mine that he leaves plenty of time for us to spend together. I'll see you in L.A. Love!" He gave her a wink and left. 

 

**

 

Emma rolled her case up to her apartment door. Inside August was hunched over his typewriter, his fingers working at breakneck speed tapping out his current chapter. Despite the dishevelled author only living there for a short time the sound of the old keys and smell of ink was strangely comforting to her.  

"Hey, miss me?"  

His spun around giving her a slanted grin. "Hi. There's pizza in the fridge."

 It was about as social as August got, the self-proclaimed recluse found himself socially when he had a few drinks in him, but sober August devoted all his time to his writing. The rhythmic typing started again and Emma found herself tapping her own fingers in time while she watched her pizza slowly rotate around the microwave.  

"How was your weekend? You and Killian finally get round to drinking that coffee?"   

August's ability to make small talk while not missing a beat with his typing never ceased to amaze Emma, she rolled her eyes at his teasing and,  not in the mood to explaining yet again why her and Killian weren't intimate after sleeping in his bed for a weekend, she chose to change the subject. "They fixed the window." 

"Yeah, it got fixed this morning...just like nothing ever happened. There's mail for you on the counter" 

The microwave pinged and Emma grabbed her plate along with the pile of letters and sat at the breakfast bar distractedly munching her pizza while she opened each letter, most were bills, there was a very early Christmas card from Mary Margaret and David, and finally a small brown envelope with Emma's name and address typed on it. She frowned turning it over to open it, inside was a letter, also typed, she unfolded it curiously but as her eyes worked their way down the note her interest turned to fear, her fingers trembled shaking the paper. 

August turned around, "Emma...everything ok?" 

She held out the letter to him, too shocked to speak. His brows furrowed as he read the poisoned words:  

 _Killian Jones doesn't love you, finish it before he see you for who you are, a gold digging fame whore, and drops you like he did the rest!  Stay with him and it'll ruin yours and your family's lives._  

"Walsh?" August questioned. 

"Honestly I don't know...none of this seems like him, he wasn't this interested in me when we were together! Mind you, he never did like losing or feeling like someone got one up on him."  

 August scanned the note again, "I don't like it Em, whoever this is they're threatening more than just you now. If the threat is genuine, Mary Margaret and David could be in danger too!"  

"Walsh wouldn't dare go after them; he's almost as scared of David as he is Mary Margaret!"  

Her roommate shrugged, "either way, after what happened the other night I think you should take this to the police." 

"I'll hand it in on my way to pick up Henry tomorrow." Emma decided. "I'm going to head to bed; I'm exhausted for some reason!" 

She headed to her room as August called after her with a chuckle "I hear too much coffee keeps you awake" 

"Ha ha!" She shouted, sarcasm dripping from her lips. She closed her door behind her, getting quickly changed into her pyjamas, tying up her hair and jumping onto her bed sitting cross legged in front of her laptop. Ruby had peaked her curiosity and she decided to have a look at Twitter. She opened the home page and clicked 'create new account' muttering aloud to herself as she went, "choose username...choose username...hmmm" her mind was completely blank. Ruby was so much better at this kind of stuff...she reached for her phone to call her friend but her phone screen filled with Killian's name, he was Face-timing her. She smiled and opened the call. 

"Hey Killian, how's the photo shoot going?"   

"Just having a break while they change the scene, they have this cabin all decked out for Christmas, I've made a chocolate Yule roll and trifle..." 

"Trifle?"  

"It's a British thing...cake with jello and fruit, custard and cream..." 

"Wow...sounds messy...and delicious." 

He smiled, "I'll make you one some time."  They were quiet for a moment just looking at each other through the screen. "I'll miss seeing you in my bed when I go home tonight." Killian admitted. 

Emma blushed, "yeah...it feels very lonely here without you..." she stroked the bed beside her, teasing him.  

"I guess we'll just have to make up for it in L.A."  

"Yeah..."  

"Speaking of L.A. I was going to have some dresses sent to you; you can pick one you like to wear to the premier...if that's ok..?" It was an awkward subject, they'd never really talked about money or the fact that he had so much more of it than she did, he knew designer gowns were probably out of her price range and didn't want her feeling uncomfortable on the night feeling underdressed. 

"Um..." Emma looked away chewing her lip, "I think I'd like to just organise my own dress, if it's ok with you...I don't feel comfortable with you paying for my outfit."  

"It really isn't a big deal" he insisted. 

"It kind of is to me..." she couldn't help but think back to the note she received that day, she wasn't a gold digger and didn't want there to be anything that suggested she was with Killian for his money. 

"Ok, I'll leave you to it; I hope I didn't offend you by offering? I'm sure you'll look beautiful whatever you chose, I just can't wait to see you Emma!" 

 "No, I really appreciate it, it's just important to me that I pay my own way." She explained, then wanting to change the subject and dissolve the awkwardness asked. "So I'll spend the weekend with you in L.A. and then you have to film the following week, when will I see you next?"

 "Here, I'll e-mail you my schedule for the next month."   

Emma opened her email on her laptop so they could look over it together, she saw the premier and then he filmed until the following Tuesday which seemed to be the end of Iron Chef. Her forehead wrinkled when she saw the event he had that night. 

"You're going to the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?"  

He closed his eyes suddenly remembering he'd been invited and Leroy had jumped at the opportunity for publicity. "Oh yeah...is that ok?" 

"I guess so..." Emma knew she was being ridiculous but the thought of Killian sitting front row watching the most beautiful women in the world strut their stuff in front of him in sexy lingerie filled her with unease. 

He smiled, finding her reaction both adorable and unnecessary; she was the only woman he fantasised about. If only Emma knew how just the thought of her made his temperature rise. "Do I detect a spot of jealousy, Swan?"  

She looked away, shrugging; slightly annoyed he was getting enjoyment out of her reaction. "More like inadequacy! How can I compete with a literal angel?" 

Killian's tongue glided across his teeth, his voice softened, "You really don't know what you do to me do you Emma? I suppose it'd be pointless for me to tell you how they pale in comparison to you, since you wouldn't believe me, even though I swear to god it’s true. Honestly I was hoping to do a bit of Christmas shopping there..." 

"For who?!" Emma squinted 

Killian laughed heartily, "My gift list consists of you and Leroy so I'll leave it up to you to figure out which of the two I'd rather see in lingerie!" 

Emma giggled, feeling a bit silly; her boyfriend was going to the Victoria's Secret fashion show and all he was thinking about was what lingerie he wanted to see her in. "Well I'm sure Leroy will be thrilled with his lacy bra and thong" 

Killian squeezes his eyes shut again, this time in disgust. "Now see, this conversation had so much potential for giving me lovely dreams tonight and now I'm probably going to have a bloody nightmare of Leroy in sexy underwear walking the catwalk!"  

Emma fell over in a fit of laughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. He laughed along with her, the music of her joy warming his heart.  

Emma held her phone back up so she could see him; she nervously bit her lip “I guess you'll just have to look at your picture of me in the bath you took earlier to erase the Leroy images." 

"What makes you think I haven't already looked at it multiple times tonight?" His confession caught her off guard.  

"Really?" 

 "Really. That's what's going to keep me going until I see you on Friday." 

She smiled shyly, remembering the pictures of Killian Ruby had showed her the previous day that she would definitely be looking at again to tide her over until she saw him face to face. "Maybe I'll need to take some more for you?" 

Killian's eyebrows shot up, "now that sounds intriguing!"  

Emma chuckled, "we'll see...if you're good..." 

"I'll be on my best behaviour! Scouts honour!"  He promised excitedly, and then turning serious again he reluctantly brought their call to a close, "I'm going to have to go now but have a good day with Henry tomorrow, tell him I say hi. Oh, and the Captain's table at the Jolly Roger is yours, you can take who you like, anytime, and Tink will take care of you." 

"Thanks Killian, Henry would love it!"  

"Good, take the lad. I know the weekend was crazy and not how either of us planned but I did love spending time with you and thank you for opening up to me, it means the world to me Emma, I love you!"  

"Yeah, I feel much closer to you now I know more of your past too, I know it's always a risk for you to reveal those kinds of things so thank you for trusting me with your story, and...Thank you for being so understanding of mine. I love you too."  

Emma shut her laptop, twitter could wait, and right now she just wanted to drift to sleep thinking of Killian.

 

**

 

"Whoa this place is awesome!"  The 7 year old boy squealed, his eyes darting around the room faster than an Olympic ping pong ball.   

"Ok kid, we're up here!"  Emma pointed to the elevated deck with the helm in its centre and a table for 6, set for 2, tucked at the side.  

"Can I touch the wheel?" He asked excitedly jumping on the spot.  

"Of course you can!" Tink's preppy voice chimed in behind them. "Good to see you again, Emma, and congrats on the relationship status." She gave Emma a wink, "Walsh was a complete douche! I'm so glad you and Killian found each other, you guys deserve happiness." 

Emma blushed at Tink's gushing over her, "Thanks...Killian said we could use his table?" 

"Yep! Have a seat and I'll send Wendy over with some menus" 

 Henry was too busy pretending to captain his own pirate ship to pay any attention to the menu so Emma just ordered the closest thing to junk food she could find; a deconstructed cheeseburger, whatever that meant! 

She watched Henry play, far away in some fantasy land his imagination created, with only a little jealousy. ‘Oh to be young and free to escape reality so easily’ she thought. 

A short while later Wendy brought over their food, which looked as magical as it smelled, and she called Henry back over to the table. 

“How’s school?” She asked him after she finally got over the taste sensation that was happening in her mouth. 

“It’s ok” He shrugged. 

She watched him avoid eye contact with her as he picked at his sweet potato fries. “Mmmhmm” She murmured, unsatisfied with his answer.  “You sure about that?” 

He stayed quiet. 

Emma felt out of her depth, not sure how to reach Henry, let alone help him or offer any sort of advice. They ate their meal in silence as she racked her brain for a conversation starter.  It turned out she didn’t need one, as Henry swallowed his last fry he stunned her by asking “Are you going to marry Killian?” 

“uh…I…I um…I don’t know, we’ve only been together for a couple months.” She stammered. 

“I like him. It’d be good if you could have a family for Christmas.” He added casually. 

“I do have a family; I have Mary Margaret and David.” 

“And now Killian too.” 

“Yes…and now Killian too.”

 

**

The camera lights flashed as Killian stepped onto the red carpet, despite years of experience in the limelight as front man of The Lost Boys, since the accident he’d always felt an element of insecurity in front of the media.  It’d taken him years to find himself after losing his ability to play guitar, something that had been his identity for so long.  His prosthetic served as a painful reminder of all he lost, but tonight he felt different, Emma loved him despite his physical defect, it didn’t even faze her, and that filled him with a confidence that he’d been missing for a long time.  

He smiled broadly as he stepped out of the limo to cheering fans. He could hear his name being shouted be various photographers and he stood letting them take his picture, a few moments later another limo pulled up and the screams got louder, he turned and saw Elsa stepping out.  She looked up to him waving excitedly then run over to give him a hug, the camera’s still flashing rapidly.  They exchanged ‘hello’s’ and Elsa turned to the media and then grabbed Killian’s arm to pose for a picture with him before Killian walked on allowing her to have her picture taken alone. 

Once inside he found his table, moments later he felt a small hand on his shoulder “looks like we’re at the same table!” Elsa grinned happily at him. 

“What a nice surprise.” He stood up pulling out her chair for her then returning to his seat beside her. 

She leaned in, “Can I tell you a secret?” 

He raised his eyebrow nudging her to continue. 

“I hate these things, I asked if I could be seated by you so I’d at least have someone fun to talk to…plus it mean’s I have 3 hours to try and convince you to work on my next album with me!” Her eyes lit up mischievously. 

“Is that so? Well I’m flattered you went to so much effort just for my company.” He laughed, and then smiling sadly at her he confessed “I just don’t know about the album, I promised you I would think about it but every time I do I’m bombarded with all the reasons why it wouldn’t work.” 

She inched her chair closer resting her head in her hand, elbow propped on the table. “Tell me what is holding you back.” 

He sighed, “I’ve only ever written song’s using my guitar and obviously I can’t do that now…” He held up his prosthetic. “I have never written a country song, All the music I wrote in the past was dark, it’s not really your style and honestly I’m just not in that place anymore, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I have so much going on with the restaurant and my new bar, I just don’t know if I can give up the time and I have other commitments now that means I don’t want to be away from New York longer than I have to be.” He thought of Emma and how hard it was for them to spend time together. 

The young singer thought over his reservations, “I’m yet to hear why you aren’t able to do it” 

“Haven’t you been listening lass?” 

She rolled her eyes, “OK; first of all you are a very talented musician, and I know you can play piano, use that to write your songs, also you’ll have me there too and I can cover the guitar. Second of all you may not have written a country song before but you’ve not been far off it, country music tells a story and you can definitely do that! I want this album to have a rocky edgy feel to it, I want it to sound raw, more grown up, I’m past peppy pop songs about crushing over the quarterback; I want to sing about real issues. Thirdly, so you are happy now, great! Use that emotion to write, I don’t need the lyrics to be doom and gloom, just honest, so you’re in love, write about that! And lastly, I already told you I will come to you and work around your schedule; I’m willing to be flexible because that’s how much I believe in this project! I’ll move to New York while we work on it, so you don’t have to travel so much.” 

He couldn’t help but smile; there was a fire and determination in her that matched his own at her age. “Well you certainly have an answer for everything, don’t you?”

“Please give this a chance Killian?” 

He mulled her proposition over for a moment then said. “Let me talk to my manager and Emma and I’ll give you an answer by the end of the month.”

Elsa squealed with delight, bouncing in her chair, “Thank you Killian! You won’t regret it.” 

“I haven’t said yes yet!” He chuckled. 

“I know, I know, but I have a really good feeling about this!” 

People began to filter into the room, filling the tables and after a five course meal the auction began.  Both Elsa and Killian were outbid on the items that held their interest so instead they wrote checks for the charity to leave in a drop box and left empty handed. 

Killian walked Elsa to the valet. “Thanks for making my evening bearable” She smiled “I look forward to hearing your answer, goodnight Killian” 

“I’ll be in touch soon Elsa”

 

**

 

The week crawled at a snail’s pace for Emma, the highlight being dress shopping with Ruby who’d introduced her to a website that allowed you to hire designer gowns at a discounted price.  She decided on a Michelle Mason short black leather dress with a high neck and back insets.  It was simple but sexy and Ruby had pointed out that it was a premier for a TV show not a movie and since Emma didn’t star in the show she didn’t need a gown.  Her friend had also leant her a pair of classic black Christian Louboutin shoes and a Michael Kors sparkling black statement ring.  After watching a YouTube tutorial for a braided crown and a few practice runs of her own Emma was ready. 

She’d taken a photo earlier for Killian that she’d held off sending him out of complete nervousness on her part.  She’d bought new underwear for tonight and had, after a few too many glasses of wine, decided to pose in it, along with Ruby’s designer shoes, and snap a few pictures of herself to send him. She’d fallen asleep before sending them and now sober, the thought of sending pictures of her in lingerie terrified her. She knew he’d probably love it, her own insecurities held her back.  However now her plane had landed at LAX and a text had come through from him she couldn’t ignore the perfect timing.

**I’m waiting at Arrivals for you, also still waiting for a sneak peak of what you’re wearing tonight ;)**

She bit her lip and went for it, sending the best picture with the caption **What do you think?**

She sat waiting for his response, 6 painstakingly slow minutes passed before her phone pinged again and she closed one eye, bracing herself for his response. 

**Damnit Swan!  How am I supposed to last until after the premiere? That’s bad form teasing a man like that! P.S. Please never stop teasing me like this.**

**

 

When her text came through he gave an audible gasp, quickly looking over his shoulder to make sure no one else was sharing in his intimate viewing of his girlfriend before taking another look.  Emma had sent him a picture of her, back turned,  looking over her shoulder at her reflection in the mirror, wearing only a pair of black lace panties, perfectly caressing her ass. Her long lean back was completely bare, along with the rest of her; it was beauty like he’d never known before and if he wasn’t careful his body was going to start reacting inappropriately for a busy airport, teaming with photographers waiting to catch a snap of the next celeb coming or going.  Killian switched off his phone and put it safely in the inside pocket of his leather jacket. 

Scanning the sea of faces flowing into the Arrivals lounge his eyes finally rested on hers. Her face lit up as they rushed towards each other. The moment her lips touched his he felt warmth and peace slowly spread through his body and soul, he had his Emma back, being away from her this week had be almost unbearable after everything they’d shared…and not shared. He’d felt incomplete without her but now all was well and suddenly remembering where they were he pulled away, not wanting to attract any attention.  He stood back taking her in then ginning at her he said, “Let’s wait until we get into the car, I’ve missed you Emma, you’ve no idea how much I’ve missed you.” 

She smiled back at him, “Actually I have a pretty good idea” 

He took her hand and they walked out to where a black SUV with darkened windows waiting for them. Killian opened Emma’s door for her then set her bag in the trunk before joining her in the backseat. No sooner had the driver started the car and raised the privacy shield than Killian’s lips were on hers, his hand caressing her lower back and then resting on her rear as he deepened their kiss, suddenly they didn’t care about the event, or the distance they’d had between them this week, or even breathing. They lost themselves in their kiss, their bodies taking control. 

When the car slowed to a stop Killian was still on top of her as she pulled on the silver chain he always wore around his neck, pinning him in place above her. He moved his lips from hers, leaving them both panting after their epic make out session. There was no movement in the car; the driver was waiting for them, not wanting to disturb whatever reunion was happening back there. They both giggled and Killian dropped his head onto her chest, still heaving from their kiss.

“We should go; if we stay here much longer we’ll make Anton feel awkward.” 

Emma nodded, releasing her hold of Killian’s necklace and sitting up to brush her fingers through her hair and smooth down her clothes before opening the car door. Killian followed suit. 

Once inside Emma realised she would have to wait before finishing their steamy reunion, the house was alive with Killian’s entourage obviously here to get him red carpet ready. In the midst of the hustle and bustle Emma saw Leroy standing nervously giving her a friendly smile, “Emma, how was your flight?” He asked politely. 

She felt a pang of guilt, last time he saw her she screamed obscenities at him for interruption her and Killian. “Great, thanks, it’s good to see you again.” She offered hoping to mend their relationship, he was really trying to make time for Killian and her and she appreciated it, especially after the publicity nightmare she’d caused him. “Oh and Leroy, I don’t think I ever said thank you for having that article taken down, I really appreciate it…truly.” 

“Oh it’s nothing, it should never have been up in the first place” he grumbled, not used to complements.

 

**

 

Emma finished tucking in the last part of her braid when she heard a knock at her door. 

“Come in” she called. 

The door slowly opened revealing Killian in a dark grey suit with a white shirt, the top few buttons left open, showing off his silver chain and glorious chest hair. He looked damn good and Emma couldn’t wait until he was hers. 

When he saw her his jaw hit the floor “Swan, you look…” 

“I know” she wiggled her head from side to side flirtatiously. 

Licking his lips he walked towards her, “I don’t want to mess up any of this” He signalled to her, his hand pointing from her head to toe. 

She stepped forward to fill the space between them. “As soon as this event is over you better bring me home and mess up all of this.” She mimicked his gesture and bit back a smile. 

“I promise!” He replied hoarsely.

 

**

 

The red carpet was by far the most terrifying thing Emma had ever experienced, she felt like a tiny creature being scrutinized under a microscope, people only said nice things but she knew how these things worked, kindness to your face and then once they got behind a computer screen vicious critics would rip her apart.

 

The noise and the flashes overwhelmed her making her falter slightly, Killian didn’t miss a beat; he turned to face her, standing in front of her shielding her from the cameras. 

“Are you ok, love?”

 She took deep breaths feeling panic creep over her. She wanted to be here for him to support him so she tried to regain her composure. 

“Emma, look at me” 

She lifted her eyes to his. 

“If you don’t want to do this you can go inside through the side door and I’ll meet you in there, it’s not a problem.” 

She shook her head, “No I want to do this with you” 

“Ok, then we’ll do this, I’m right here with you, just hold my hand and if it gets too much we’ll stop.” 

Killian Held her hand tightly, and then when they posed for pictures, wrapped his arm around her waist holding her protectively and gave her a kiss on her temple to calm her. She instantly relaxed and stood by his side along the press line listening to him answer questions graciously.  A few reporters engaged her, asking what she thought of the show, one even asking Killian if she was his date to which he replied warmly, “This is my girlfriend Emma” placing his arm back around her waist “Isn’t she beautiful tonight?” 

Emma blushed, though hearing Killian call her his girlfriend publicly made her heart skip a beat. 

Once inside there was a lot of small talk and drinking, then they showed the first episode of the show.  Shortly after Killian whispered in Emma’s ear “Let’s call it a night” his words held the promise of more and the butterflies in her stomach took flight. 

“Are you sure you don’t need to stay longer?” 

“I’ve done everything I’m contracted to, there’s an after party but I’d like to celebrate alone with you…unless you wanted to go…” 

“No!” His smirk and lifted brow made her realise how desperate she sounded. “Um…I just mean, I think I’ve had enough playing princess tonight, I’m happy to go home.” 

“Ok then, princess, your carriage awaits”

 

**

 

They entered the hotel lobby and Killian whispered to Emma to go grab an elevator and he’d join her, she watched him go to reception and slip the man behind the desk some money before returning to her, ignoring her inquisitive look.  They stood awkwardly as the elevator slowly rose to the top floor, she tilted her head until it rested on his shoulder, needing something to support her; the thought of what was to come had her feeling lightheaded with anticipation. His reached down to plant a small kiss on the top of her head. “Soon, Swan” he promised. 

Once they reached their floor the elevator opened directly into their suite, the doors shut behind them and in an instant he had her pinned against the wall, panting as he kissed her hungrily.  “Phone” he said between kisses. 

“What?” She panted. 

“Give me your phone” he was reaching into his pocket to pull out his own, she quickly handed him her smartphone, and he threw both into a large fish tank standing proud in the centre of the living room. 

“Killian, what the hell…” He stopped her protest with more kisses, his hand sliding up her thigh under her skirt. 

“No interruptions tonight… I’ll buy you a new one tomorrow…everything is on the iCloud” he explained between hot and heavy kisses running up her neck.  Her head was spinning at this point so she cared little about her phone; she was as keen as he was not to have to stop; especially now his hand was dangerously close to its goal. 

He could feel her wet through her underwear, his mind flashing back to the picture she’d sent him earlier that day. “God Emma, you’re as ready for this as I am” 

She pushed him back just enough so she could slide his suit jacket off his shoulders and quickly unbutton his shirt as she guided him, pushing him backwards towards their bedroom. “Don’t keep a lady waiting, Jones” she purred. 

By the time his back came into contact with the bedroom door he was sans shirt with his belt buckle undone.  

“Apologies love, a woman as beautiful as you deserves my full and prompt attention” 

He pulled her in tightly for another heated kiss, his tongue exploring her mouth as his fingers dung into the leather of her dress. “As lovely as your dress is, I think it’s time we removed it.” He spoke into her lips.

Smiling at him wickedly Emma turned to face the wall allowing him to unzip her dress, kissing her back as he did. The dress slid to the floor leaving her just in the black panties she’d donned in the picture earlier that day. 

“Now these…” his voice was dark and heavy as his fingers ran along the top of the lace “…these I’m a big fan of” he tugged on them and let go so they pinged against her skin. She twirled round to face him, pushing him towards the bed. With one tug she pulled the remainder of his clothes, boxers and all down to his ankles and off his feet leaving him completely naked in front of her.  Sitting him on the bed she licked her lips and kneeled.  He knew where she was going and he tried to stop her, “Emma…you first….oh god!” 

She’d slipped his length into her mouth; ignoring his protests and grinning when she heard his satisfied sigh and felt him relax back onto the bed. She built up a rhythm fuelled by his ecstasy filled moans, it didn’t take long for her to feel his body tensing but before she could finish she felt his strong arms pulling her up onto his lap. “Not yet, love, when I come it will be with you and inside of you.” Then in one swift move he threw he onto the bed, her head hitting the pillow she let out an excited squeal, in an instant her panties were off and he was hovering above her. 

“Yes Emma, there’s no one here but us, make all the noise you want” He encouraged.  Then starting at her lips he kissed his way along her jaw to her ear, giving it a light tug with his teeth, then down her neck and chest until his lips found her left breast and interchanged biting and licking her nipple mixing pain and pleasure as her back arched and she breathed his name. With his hand he circled her other breast and then swapped over whipping her into a lust-filled frenzy. 

“Please Killian” she panted.

“Tell me what you want, you’re heart’s desire, Swan, it’s yours” he kissed a line down her stomach waiting for his instructions. 

“Touch me” she pleaded 

He continued kissing down to her inner thigh then sat back on his heels, circling her clit with his thumb she arched her back again, “yes…oh god…yes…” 

He plunged his other fingers inside here then slowly pulled them out again to the sound of her cries of pleasure. He watched her as he started up his rhythm again pushing his fingers in and out of her. She was coming undone before his eyes and it was the most breath-taking thing he’d ever seen. She grabbed his wrist, her fingernails digging into his skin “I want you inside me; I need to be closer to you.” She pleaded. 

He lifted her up and sat her on him, sliding into her to the soundtrack of her gasps, he filled her perfectly and they rocked back and forth his arms around her waist and hers around his shoulders, her fingers finding their way into his hair. It was the most intimate she’d ever been with a man; sure she’d had sex before, plenty of times but never like this, she sat there with him buried inside her, her legs wrapped around his waist, her breasts heaving as she panted rubbing against his chest hair sending shockwaves of pleasure through her body while their mouths met in their well-rehearsed dance they’d become accustomed to.  It felt as though every inch of her body was touching every inch of his and as they came together he whispered her name like a prayer. 

Reluctantly they separated enough to collapse onto the bed, she wasted no time curling back into the warmth of his body, her head resting on his chest as he traced patterns lazily on her back. “That was…” She tried to find a word that could give justice to what they’d just shared. 

“I know” he sighed, pulling her in tighter. “Don’t fall asleep on me, love, we’re not done yet!” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it” she giggled, “Did you give the hotel clerk money?” 

“Aye, a little motivation to keep anyone from interrupting us for the next 24 hours, no maids, no phone calls, and absolutely no visitors!” 

She looked up at him beaming, “I love you Killian Jones” 

“And I love you, Emma Swan.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh Christmas is crazy! Ok so the Christmas part of my story is so long I've had to split it over two chapters, here's the first part. I'm going to try really hard to have the second part up on Christmas Day, if not sooner! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your feedback, you guys are awesome!

"You never told me how L.A. was!" Emma had barely accepted the mug of coffee from her foster mother's hand before the interrogation began. 

 

"It was..."

 

Suddenly a succession of pictures flashed through Emma's mind; memories of her and Killian tangled together in bed, the firm touch of his fingertips holding her tightly, the soft gentle kisses as his lips explored every inch of her, the warm sound of his laugh while they exchange embarrassing stories about themselves, late night drives through the city to show her the sights, the roll of his eyes as she pulled him to a street vender so she could satisfy her craving for a corn dog, which he refused point blank to put anywhere near his mouth! The memories kept coming; the melody of the waves lapping in the shore while they took a midnight stroll along the sand and his sturdy arms wrapping around her while they watched the moon shine on the water.

 

"That good, huh?"  

 

Emma blinked out of her daydream, realising she had been sitting there for an abnormal amount of time with a ridiculous grin on her face. 

 

"Um...oh, you know, it was good..." Emma stammered.

 

"Uh huh" Mary Margaret gave her a wink and then got down from the corner of Emma's desk where she'd been perching. "I'm glad you had a good time Emma, and I'm so happy you've found someone who treats you well, Killian is a great guy."

 

Emma smiled. "Yeah he is...he's wonderful...he's just..."

 

Mary Margaret furrowed her brows waiting for Emma to find the word.

 

"...busy" she finally said with a sigh. 

 

"And how are you feeling about that? You know, the whole dating a celebrity thing..."

 

Emma let out a laugh. "It certainly has its trials...but I guess it has some perks too. It's probably going to take a while to get used to, it all happened so quickly and effortlessly, I never stopped to think about what impact his career would have on our relationship...or on my life for that matter...I just don't want to forget who I am."

 

"And do you feel like you are?" Her friend prodded.

 

Shaking her head she replied, "Not when it's just Killian and I...but when we're at an event or in the public eye it feels like I'm living someone else's life."

 

Mary Margaret looked at Emma sympathetically. "You'll figure it out Emma; I have a good feeling about you two..."

 

"Is this where you tell me we're soulmates or true love or whatever you and David claim to be?"

 

"You can laugh it off Emma but fate is real and some people are just destined to be together."

 

Emma thought over Mary Margaret's words for a moment then shrugged and said, "Well perhaps if we could spend some more time together I could find out if you're right. It's been two weeks since L.A. and I've only seen him twice!"

 

"Be patient with him Emma, it can't be easy juggling everything he has to, he still talks to you even when he doesn't see you, right?"

 

"Every day."  It was true, Killian not only text Emma throughout his days but he always made sure he either called or Face Timed Emma daily, no matter how busy he was or how long his day had been. He was really trying and when he was with her it was just him and her, no phones, no distractions, he made sure it was quality time spent; it was something she really did appreciate about him. 

 

"Well there you go! You have to remember as well Emma that a lot of his schedule now would have been arranged and booked months ago before you guys were together, give it time and I'm sure things will calm down for you two."

 

"Thanks Mary Margaret, you always know what to say to make me feel better."

 

She walked around the desk and hugged her. 

 

"You guys are still coming to us for Christmas, right?" Mary Margaret asked. 

 

"Absolutely...and we're bringing dessert! I can't wait, Killian has some time off and it's the first time he's had a family to celebrate Christmas with so I want to make it special."

 

"We'll do everything we can to make sure he has a magical Christmas." Mary Margaret promised. 

 

**

 

Emma typed out a quick text to Killian on her 10 minute walk from the subway station to her apartment, just to let him know she'd be home soon if he wanted to FaceTime. She was so engrossed in sending her message that she didn't notice someone walking close behind her. Just as she hit send a hand grabbed her wrist and she felt herself being pulled into a side alley and pushed against the stone wall. She looked up at her captors face.

 

"Walsh! What the hell...have you been following me?" Her voice was angry but her heart was running a hundred miles per hour. Any movement in her hand to try and call August he would notice. She was frantically trying to form a plan of escape and coming up empty.

 

"Emma you need to break things off with Killian!" His voice was low and gruff and the threat sent a shiver down Emma's spine.

 

"Was it you? Did you send the flowers and the brick through my window...you told that reporter about my past, and sent me that threat in the mail?"

 

Walsh faltered for a second "What? Wait...Emma are you getting threats?" 

 

His hesitation was enough for his grip on her to loosen. 

 

"As if you don't know, stay away from me and my family!" She spat the words at him and pulled herself out of his grip, running home without looking back. 

 

It was only when she reached the door of her apartment complex and slammed it shut behind her that she looked through the glass window and released a huge sigh of relief seeing Walsh wasn't on her tail. She quickly climbed the stairs to her floor and fumbled with her key to get it in the lock with her hand violently shaking. Finally she succeeded and fell through her door, pushing it tight behind her and sinking to the ground with her back against it safe in her home. 

 

August wasn't there; part of her didn't want to be alone but another part was relieved that he didn't see her in this state. She felt defeated and afraid; was Walsh always going to be there like a menacing shadow haunting her for the rest of her life? She hated feeling so helpless and vulnerable. Her phone started to buzz making her almost jump out of her skin, tossing the phone across the floor instinctively. She could see Killian's face on the screen, scrambling she crawled over, picked it up and slid her finger across to answer his FaceTime.

 

"Hey beautiful...Emma...what's wrong, love?"

 

She hadn't thought about what she must look like after her ordeal, she just desperately needed to see him, to hear his voice. She could already feel her anxiety dissolving away.

 

"Walsh cornered me on my way home" she said quietly, looking away from the screen.

 

"He did what? That son of a bitch! Did he hurt you Emma?"

 

She rubbed her wrist where Walsh had gripped her, there was a red mark left by his fingers. The thought of her body being marked by his touch made her feel sick. 

 

"Emma...where is August?"

 

She was drawn back to Killian's voice.

 

"He's not here" 

 

"Stay there Emma, I'll be with you as soon as I can! I'll call you when I'm on my way"

 

**

 

Once  Killian hung up the phone he let out a roar, knocking everything off his desk in one swipe of his arm, sending the books, laptop, and paperwork cascading to the floor. He slammed his fist against the, now empty, mahogany desk. Just the thought of that snake Walsh laying so much as a finger on Emma made his blood boil. 

 

His office door flung open, Tink's petite frame rushed into the room, closing the door softly behind her.

 

"Killian, is everything ok? I heard the noise out in the restaurant." she looked around the room at the devastation. 

 

"I need to go..." he started picking up his jacket and keys. 

 

"But dinner service has just started, and you have Elsa Arendell coming to meet you for dinner in 2 hours!"

 

"It's a family emergency, Tink; I wouldn't leave if it wasn't important."

 

The colour drained from the blonde, pixie haired, young woman. "Oh my God, is Emma ok?"

 

"That's what I'm going to find out." He slid his arms into his jacket. "I'll be back when I can, keep Elsa fed and watered until I can get here"

 

"But..."

 

Killian left before Tink could finish. In a matter of minutes he was in his car on the way to Emma's apartment. He connected his Bluetooth so he could call her. 

 

"Killian?"

 

"Swan, I'm on my way."

 

"You don't need to come, I'm ok. I think August will probably be back soon. I don't want to make you miss work..."

 

"Emma..." he interrupted her, "you're my girlfriend and you were cornered by your possessive ex-boyfriend who has already threatened you. You can bloody well bet your life that I'm dropping everything to be with you! Family comes first."

 

Those last three words brought a smile to her lips; her and Killian, two lost orphans were now family. He may be busy but knowing that she was his top priority and he'd drop everything to be with her when she needed him brought a tear to her eye. 

 

"I love you" she whispered. 

 

"I love you too." He smiled every time he heard the words leave her lips. "With traffic I should be with you in 30 minutes, I'll stay on the phone until I get there." 

 

"Thanks, just hearing your voice makes me feel safe. I was listening to your album before you called."

 

"Oh yeah, which one?"

 

"Dark Waters"

 

He let out a sigh, "that's a blast from the past!" 

 

Emma chuckled "well if you recorded new material I wouldn't have to listen to the old stuff on repeat...not that I mind..."

 

"On repeat, you say?"  He teased her.

 

"Alright, alright, don't get too big for your boots Captain, I just see you so rarely that it's comforting to hear your voice..."

 

"And that, my love, is precisely why I'm going to tell Elsa tonight that I can't work on her album with her. All my extra projects are finished; the Iron Chef, my newest cookbook, and I have a great manager at Tiger Lily which means I only have to check in once every two weeks. I'm back to working normal hours at The Jolly Roger so we can have some sort of normal relationship. I know me being so busy has been hard for you and you've been so patient with me, I wanted to make it up to you."

 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, since the first night she met him Killian was constantly putting her first yet it still caught her off guard each time. She could feel her heart swell in her chest but not wanting to cry while Killian was on the phone she quickly said, "we can talk about that when you get here, how far are you?"

 

"About 25 minutes"

 

"Ok, I'm going to jump in the shower before you come.  I feel like I can still feel his hand on me" she shuddered. 

 

He clenched his jaw. "He touched you?"

 

"He just held me by my wrist...he let me go, he didn't try to follow me...actually he seemed surprised that someone had threatened me..."

 

"He's hardly going to bloody confess, is he?" He could feel the anger building in him, extinguished, only slightly, by the fact that Walsh hadn't physically hurt her. "I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to lose my temper, I'm angry at him, not you."

 

"I know" she said softly. "I'll see you soon Killian, love you."

 

"I love you too" he sighed, and then the call clicked to an end. Everything about their situation was frustrating; Walsh still being a threat to Emma, the fact that she lived in the other side of town and the damn New York traffic making it impossible to ever get to her quickly, his schedule and it's indifference to his new relationship status, and lastly he was frustrated that after over two months of dating they'd only been intimate that weekend in L.A. He loved Emma, there was no doubt in his mind that she was the one, she was his future. As keen as he was to move ahead in their relationship he needed to give Emma time, she'd already been promised the world and left wanting and broken. Emma was worth the wait, and in the meantime he would do whatever it took to show her she was everything to him and protect her as best he could.

 

30 minutes and a lot of honking at traffic finally saw him at the door to Emma's apartment. He knocked on it gently and a few moments later she answered. Emma was wearing dark skinny jeans with a floral blouse and her damp hair tied into a fishtail braid hanging down her back. She was barefoot with her toenails painted pink, a detail that made him smile, especially when she nervously tucked one foot behind the other. 

The corner of his mouth lifted, along with his eyebrow as Emma grabbed his hand and pulled him into her home.

 

"You know what that eyebrow does to me!" She pretended to pout, exhaling loudly while placing her hand on her hip.

 

"What, this eyebrow?" He feigned innocence lifting it higher.

 

Emma giggled and rising up on her toes kissed the assaulting brow making Killian chuckle. 

 

Growing serious he added, "you had me worried Emma! If anything happened to you..."

 

"Shhh" she cut him off stroking his face lovingly. "I'm fine, I just got a fright; he didn't hurt me. He had every opportunity to but didn't..." she trailed off.

 

"Emma?"

 

"I just don't understand...he seemed genuinely surprised that I had received threats...and I don't know...he was almost worried?" 

 

"Aye it's strange, you should probably still tell the police though." 

 

"I already called them. I'm going to stop by the station now and give a statement." 

 

"Then I shall escort you, m'lady!"

 

Emma rolled her eyes, "thank you kind sir!"

 

**

 

They left the station after Emma recounted her tale to the young Irish officer who had dealt with the brick in her apartment. Emma seemed comfortable with him but Killian didn't like the familiarity forming between the two, not least of all the fact Emma now called him by his first name, Graham. 

 

"Come to the Jolly Roger with me. I have a dinner meeting with Elsa, you could join us?" He offered his arm as they walked towards his car. 

 

"Elsa? Like the superstar? You want me to join you guys for dinner?"

 

Killian chuckled and kissed her on the temple. "You're part of my life, Emma, and a big reason why I'm declining her offer, I want you to be included in any big decisions I make; at least if you're there she'll know I have a good reason and I'm not just flaking on her."

 

Emma slowed her pace. "About that...I think you should do it."

 

"What?" Killian had stopped and spun around to face her.

 

"I think you should collaborate with Elsa. It would be huge for you...and I think it would be good for you too, after all this time. Yes you're a brilliant chef but before that you were an incredible songwriter and musician, and that doesn't just go away...you may not be able to play guitar but that talent is still there." She shuffled on the spot nervous about how he might react to what she said next. "I could help you; I play piano and can read and write music. I could help you with the melody if you hummed what you wanted I could play it...at least to the point where I could jot down the music for Elsa to play when you two worked on the lyrics...it could be something we did together. Your music was so important to me when I was younger and saw me through some hard times, I'd hate to deprive other people of that. A talent like yours shouldn't be hidden away." She held her breath waiting for his answer. 

 

Killian looked at her in awe. "You would do that for me?"

 

"Of course!" She laughed with relief. "It would be such an honour."

 

She squealed as he scooped her up and spun her around in the middle of the sidewalk, bringing her down gently so their lips could meet. Emma melted into his arms then as his hand drifted down her back towards her rear she bit down on his bottom lip winning herself a growl from him. "Easy tiger, we're in the middle of a crowded street!"

 

"I don't care" he laughed, but reluctantly released her not breaking eye contact. The lust filled moment was over, instead he smiled sweetly at her, the reality of what she'd offered him sinking in. "This will take up a lot of my time."

 

"You need to do it, and it will be an excuse for us to spend time together, it's a project I can help you with."

 

"I'll have my muse right beside me"

 

Emma blushed and bit back her smile, "I've never been anybody's muse before..."

 

He leaned into her ear and whispered "you inspire me every day" then taking her hand and leading her to the car he added "and, by the way, I don't need an excuse to spend time with you." 

 

**

 

Killian and Emma walked into The Jolly Roger hand in hand and, apart from the flashes of the paparazzi as they entered, it felt natural to Emma to be by his side. What didn't feel natural was pulling up a chair next to global superstar Elsa Arendelle. 

 

Elsa rose as they approached the table; the first thing Emma noticed was just how flawlessly beautiful the singer was. It was as if she had an aura around her, her ice blonde locks were braided in a crown, making her look almost regal, with perfect make-up and a stunning blue figure hugging dress. Everything about Elsa screamed classy and elegant and Emma could hardly believe she was younger than her. She suddenly felt self-conscious standing next to someone so perfect, but before she could say or do anything she felt Killian's hand on the small of her back and heard his velvety voice beside her.

 

"Elsa, let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Emma. Emma, this is Elsa."

 

The petite blonde smiled broadly and reached her hand out to Emma, shaking hers vigorously. 

 

"Emma! It's so nice to meet you after hearing this one go on about you so much!" She tilted her head in Killian's directions then leaned in to Emma and whispered "between you and me I think he's quite smitten with you."

 

Emma blushed while Killian scratched behind his ear, smiling shyly.

 

"Thank you, I can't believe I'm meeting you!" Emma's insecurities faded with Elsa's welcoming warmth. She instantly felt at ease and sat down on the chair Killian had pulled out for her, next to Elsa. 

 

"I hope you've not been waiting too long and my staff have been looking after you." Killian added as he joined the women at the table. 

 

"It's been lovely, please pass my thanks onto your staff, you have quite the establishment here, no wonder it's praised so highly!" 

 

He never tired of hearing customers gush over his restaurant, he put a great deal of love, energy, and money into it and hearing people praise the food and service filled him with pride. 

 

He only let it show momentarily in the form of a sly grin before licking his lips and getting down to business. He signalled Wendy over.

 

"A bottle of champagne, love, and tonight's set menu for everyone."

 

"Aye aye, Capt'n"

 

As Wendy hurried off Elsa leaned in.

 

"Champagne...are we celebrating something?" She asked hopefully. 

 

Killian looked at Emma and smiled, taking her hand. "Actually, we are. Emma here has convinced me...I'm going to collaborate with you on your album, as long as we can do it here in New York."

 

Elsa squealed, jumping out of her seat and throwing her arms around Emma. "I knew I liked you! Thank you so much."

 

Emma laughed, surprise by the sudden outburst. "There was no way I was going to let him pass up the opportunity, and as a fan of you both I can't wait to hear what you two create." 

 

Right on cue the champagne arrived with their first course.

 

(Later that night on twitter)

 

 **@ElsaArendelleLive:** had the most wonderful dinner at **@thejollyrogernyc** with **@therealKillianJones** exciting announcement coming soon!

 

**

 

(A week later- Dec 23rd) 

 

"I can't believe you haven't decorated your apartment yet!" Emma dragged Killian towards the Christmas tree farm. They were wrapped up in hats and scarves and mittens, Emma had gotten them matching sets, and now work was finished for both of them they had set aside a few days to spend completely together. 

 

"I don't usually decorate since it's always just been me..." he confessed.

 

His words pulled at her heart but she was determined there would be no sadness this weekend, so she shook the imagine of a lonely brooding Killian from her mind, reached up to kiss his cheek and said, "well this year you have me and we are going to do as many Christmassy things as possible!"

 

He grinned, "'christmassy', did you just make up that word?"

 

"Just roll with it, Jones!" She jokingly slapped his chest with the back of her mittened hand. "Now first we pick a tree" they looked out at the rows of Christmas trees in front of them.

 

"You know, I could have just asked Tony to get one delivered to the apartment..."

 

"But picking your tree is half the fun!"  Emma insisted, linking her arm in his, and leading him around the array of pine trees of all shapes, colours, and sizes. 

 

"What about this one?"  Killian asked pointing to a Balsam Fir tree. 

 

"Hmmm, it smells good but I think we should go bigger. What about this Blue Spruce?"

 

Killian tilted his head to the side sizing up the tree. "I think I want something more green..." 

 

"Ok how about this?"  They were standing in front of an 8ft Douglas Fir. 

 

"Perfect!"  Killian beamed like a school boy. 

 

"Great, we'll have them deliver it this afternoon and we'll go buy some decorations!" 

 

**

 

A few hours later after buying boxes of decorations and lights and the shiniest gold star Emma had ever seen, they were back at Killian's penthouse. The tree had been delivered and was waiting for them in pride of place in the corner between the large windows and the fireplace. Killian set down the boxes he was carrying and quickly ran into his bedroom emerging moments later wearing a red ugly Christmas Sweater. 

 

Emma scrunched up her face. "Checkyerbawballs? Are those...testicles on your Christmas sweater?" 

 

Killian shrugged. "It's for charity! It was sent to me by a Scottish cancer charity, I post a picture of me wearing it and it encourages men to check themselves regularly. Since we're putting baubles on the tree I thought now would be as good a time as any!"

 

Emma smiled, stifling her laugher. "There are so many jokes I could make now but I'm better than that! Let's decorate the tree first so you can stand with it!" 

 

His brow lifted, "something you want to say about my balls, Swan?" 

 

"Nope! Nothing at all!" She turned to open the box of lights so he wouldn't see her laughing, though it was impossible to hide her shaking shoulders. 

 

The lights went on surprisingly painlessly and they started of the other decorations. Killian had chosen a selection of mini vinyl records and some golden musical instruments while Emma had picked some nautical decorations and a ceramic yellow VW bug identical to hers. Lastly Killian opened up a Swarovski crystal swan that he insisted on buying so Emma in turn found a wooden replica of The Jolly Roger. The rest of the tree was filled out with red and gold baubles and even though the decorations weren't necessarily your normal Christmas theme they were personal to them and the tree stood proud and twinkling, a monument to their relationship and perfectly uniting two different characters. 

 

"Ok" Killian said, handing Emma his iPhone, "picture time"

 

Emma sat on the floor opening his camera. "How do you want to pose?"

 

With a cheeky grin he lifted two baubles off the tree and held them dangling over his crotch and raised his brow. 

 

"Got it!"  Emma giggled and handed him back his phone. He laughed at the picture. 

 

"Perfect!" He quickly uploaded it then turned his attention back to Emma. "Ok, we have the finest tree in all New York...what next?" 

 

"Christmas cookies!" Emma exclaimed. 

 

"Gingerbread men?"

 

"Yes, that's perfect!" What Emma hadn't told Killian was that this was all new for her too, yes she'd had boyfriends over Christmas before but Walsh never made a big deal about the holidays, they had a tiny artificial tree that he never helped her decorate and he always complained when she wanted to watch a Christmas movie, there was always some sort of sport on TV he'd rather be watching and when she did win out he usually left half way through the movie to go meet friends for drinks. This year Emma was winging it with Killian but she wanted it to be memorable for both of them, or was the happiest she'd ever been and the fact Killian had never really celebrated the holiday just made her want to make sure this year was perfect. 

 

Killian pulled out a recipe book and started gathering ingredients from his cupboards.

 

"A recipe book...I thought you were a professional?" She scoffed.

 

"I'm not a pastry chef...I'm a little rusty on my gingerbread..." he tried to hide his embarrassment. 

 

She instantly felt bad for making fun of him. "I've never baked anything in my life...can I help you?"

 

His face lit up "of course, this weekend is about doing stuff together, right?"

 

"Do you trust me?" She bit her lip.

 

His lips rose at one side "aye...you'll have the best teacher by your side..."

 

"Teacher, you say?" She flirtatiously bumped her hip against his, giving him a wink. "And what would I have to do for some extra credit?"

 

"I'm way ahead of you, love" he looked up. 

 

Emma followed his gaze to the ceiling where he had strategically hung some mistletoe. "I don't think teachers are supposed to kiss their students..."

 

"Aye, we're not...and that fact its forbidden doesn't make it even hotter...not at all..."

 

"Shut up and kiss me professor"

 

She didn't have to persuade him anymore; he captured her lips with his while lifting her onto the kitchen counter squeezing her ass as she wrapped her legs around him, pressing them as close together as possible. They smiled into their kiss; her hands ruffled his hair while his tongue massaged hers. Suddenly she pulled away and planting a peck on his nose said, "But first, gingerbread men!"

 

He groaned, nuzzling his nose into her neck, "you're a tease, Swan"

 

She flashed an apologetic smile and shrugged. "We only have 48 hours to do everything on my list for Christmas!"

 

"Ok, ok" he held his hand up in defeat then started to read out the recipe while Emma, with his help, followed his instructions. They flirted their way through the recipe, touching each other whenever they could and stealing glances here and there. The fact they avoided starting any physical or metaphorical fires was nothing short of a Christmas miracle! Emma had a brain wave right before the cookies went in the oven and chopped their heads and legs off.

 

"What the hell are you doing?" Killian cried. 

 

"Everyone makes gingerbread men, now these are gingerbread Christmas sweaters."

 

"That's bloody brilliant, love!"

 

"Not just a pretty face here!" 

 

As they lifted the last baked cookies onto the cooling racks Emma pulled her sweater over her head. "I'm covered in cookie dough and flour." She looked at Killian and let out a snort seeing the streak of flour through his hair, no doubt a result of his signature move running his hand through his locks. "As are you!"  She ruffled his unruly hair trying to dust it off. 

 

"Well then there's nothing for it...I'll run us a bath." He'd said it like it was nothing, just an ordinary thing for a couple to do, and walked away towards his bedroom. She heard the running water start and her stomach flipped. It'd been weeks since L.A. intimacy had been so effortless then, now enough time had passed that she was nervous again; nervous she'd disappoint or fall short somehow. Sex in a dark bedroom was one thing but washing each other in a bath was another level of vulnerability. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; she was just taken by surprise at how comfortable he was with the idea. 

 

She could hear him singing 'What are you doing New Year’s Eve' to himself while the water flowed and the sound of his voice calmed her immediately, as it always did. She followed the sound to him wearing just his robe lighting candles around the bath. She looked at the bed and saw another fluffy white robe laid out for her, but before she could question why he would have a ladies robe in his home she noticed the swan embroidered on the top right and smiled, he'd bought it especially for her. 

 

She slipped out of her clothes and into the robe and joined him in the bathroom; he was already in the bathtub, arms draped along the rim throwing a wicked grin at her that might as well have said, ‘go on, it’s your turn now’.  Instead he dragged his tongue along his bottom lip and said, “Care to join me?”

 

Instead of answering she locked her doe eyes on his, dark with lust, and slowly untied her robe letting it drop to the floor.  Despite her being on full display for him his eyes never left hers, drawing her into the tub until she was sitting in front of him, the warm water lapping against her skin. The candle light danced on his face, highlighting his stubble and she noticed his bravado was gone, replaced with tenderness. She turned and leaned back against is chest, wrapping his arms around her as she rested the back on her head in the crook of his neck and gently traced her fingers up and down the length of his arm.  Slow, quiet Christmas music played from speakers in the corner of the room. He kissed her temple and whispered.

 

“I’ve thought about you in this bath so many times since that day…always wondering what it would be like to be here with you, feeling your skin against mine…” he lazily glided his fingertips up her arms then started to gently massage her shoulders and neck making her relax into his touch. His memory of her reminded Emma of the gift she’d gotten him for Christmas and brought a smile to her lips.

 

“I could get used to this…” she confessed.

 

“Me too.” He grabbed a cup and started to pour water over her hair and then adding shampoo he massaged her scalp, washing it. 

 

“You know, I was thinking perhaps we could exchange our gifts tomorrow…I’m not sure what I got you is appropriate for opening in front of Mary Margaret and David.”

 

He suddenly stopped rinsing the soap from her hair. “Now that does sound interesting!”

 

Emma rolled her eyes and turned to face him again, this time taking the cup and returning the favour but not taking quite the same care not to dump water all over his face.

 

“Thanks, Swan!” He spluttered, shaking his head like a wet dog spraying her with water drops causing her to squeal. “Now you mention it, perhaps it would be better your foster parents did see all the lingerie I got you!”

 

“Killian!” she splashed him playfully, “You’re not supposed to tell me what you got me!”

 

“You already knew!” He protested “I had to explain myself after you looked at my schedule, remember?”

 

“Ok I’ll let you off this time, we can open our presents tomorrow, though I can’t help but feel like this is just your way of getting presents early…don’t you know good things come to those who wait?”

 

He laughed at the irony, pulling her closer, “Believe me I do!”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one to tide you guys over until the new year. My Christmas Present to you all! Thank you for coming along on this crazy ride with me!

His eyes flew open, abruptly jerked from sleep due to his nervous system going crazy, pleasure firing through his body. Whipped into a delectable frenzy he looked down just as her lips closed on his erection and she dragged her tongue along his length and she worked a steady rhythm. It didn't take him long to find his release, sinking into the mattress with a sigh of contentment. As he slowly floated back down to earth he became aware of Emma creeping up his body until her head rested on his shoulder, her fingers playing with the hairs on his chest. 

 

He kissed her head. "I don't know what I did to deserve that but it's the best wakeup call I've ever had!" 

 

"Just one of the many perks of being Emma Swan's boyfriend."

 

He flipped her over and they both laughed as he started kissing his way down her stomach. "Then allow me to show you some of the perks of being the love of Killian Jones' life."

 

**

 

Emma squealed as she skated around the Rockefeller ice rink later that day trying to remember how to slow down, the other skaters around her were nothing more than blurs whipping past her, she'd lost sight of Killian a lap or so ago. Just when she thought she'd plummet straight into the barrier she collided sooner than expected with a thud against someone causing them both to white out on the ice. When she opened her eyes she was lying on top of Officer Graham Hunter. 

 

"Oh! I'm so sorry; I didn't know how to stop" She apologised, mortified at her current position.

 

He gave a hearty laugh then winced holding his ribs. "That's quite alright Emma, I'm glad I caught you before the barrier did, at least this way you had a soft landing."  He smiled up at her, it was contagious. She didn't know quite how long they stayed there grinning at each other before she heard Killian skate up by her side.

 

"Emma, are you alright?"  He helped her up then saw Graham underneath her. 

 

"I'm fine!" She insisted; then she and Graham were both overcome with a fit of giggles. "But I think poor officer Hunter may be a bit bruised."

 

The Officer flushed red and smiled shyly at Emma, "just my ego, Miss Swan. Have a good Christmas."

 

"You too" she called after him as he hobbled away. "That was embarrassing!" She turned to Killian, who wasn't laughing. 

 

"Perhaps that's enough skating for today." His lips formed a thin straight line and Emma wondered what changed his mood so suddenly. "We should head back anyway, we have presents to open and I have a surprise for you." He gave her a half-hearted smile. 

 

**

 

Back at the apartment the Christmas tree was swimming in an ocean of presents.

 

"Oh wow...did you buy the whole show?" Emma joked. "You know I can only wear one at a time, right?"

 

He scratched behind his ear nervously, "I guess I got a bit carried away, love" he chuckled "but it's not all lingerie and there are a few presents for other people and you there too, oh and this." he pulled out a small box making her heart beat faster, she wasn't ready for this.

 

"I have your presents too!" She interrupted him, retreating to his bedroom and routing around in her case for the three wrapped gifts, not to mention a moment to slow her heart rate back down. She noticed her hands were shaking, _'calm down, Swan'_ she thought to herself. Surely Killian wasn't proposing after 2 and 1/2 months, he had to know that was too soon! And to think she'd been worried her gift may be too soon...taking a deep sigh she composed herself and returned to Killian. She would just have to explain to him that she wasn't ready to get married yet...was she? 

 

"Swan?"

 

She realised she was whispering under her breath to herself like a crazy person.

 

"I...erm...I just hope you like it" she thrusted the gifts into his hand.

 

“Oh…I’d love anything from you, but thanks, shall we?” He walked to the tree and sat down on the floor, signalling for her to join him then picking up a wrapped gift he handed it to her. 

 

She opened it to reveal an apron and chef’s hat with her initials embroidered on them. "You keep saying you want me to teach you how to cook so I thought these would help." He offered.

 

She relaxed, smiling as she traced the embroidery with her fingers. "I love it!" His face lit up at her reaction, this was the first time he was nervous about giving Christmas presents. He wanted to make Emma happy more than anything.

 

"Ok now your turn...I guess you should start with this." She handed him the largest gift. 

 

He shyly accepted it looking down at the colourful wrapping paper, honestly he didn't care what it was, Emma was giving him something, and he’d treasure it forever no matter what it...

 

Emma smirked at his jaw plummeting to the floor when he opened the book she'd made him. With each page he turned he looked more wrecked and she couldn't have hoped for a better reaction. 

"Do you like it?" 

 

"I...God, Emma...love, it's..." he struggled for words as he flipped through the pages of photographs of Emma, artistically taken by Ruby, one black and white shot of her in his tub, just like the one he had taken, one of her sitting on his kitchen counter in red lacy lingerie cupcake in hand and her licking her finger, one of her posed seductively on his bed, another artsy black and white one of her wearing only one of his shirts with her hair tied up in a messy bun and sporting her black rimmed glasses he'd only seen her wear once yet adored. The list went on each page contained another racy, yet classy, picture of his girlfriend.

 

"I just thought with all your traveling, maybe you'd miss me less..."

 

He cut her off, reaching over to plant a kiss on her lips. "Nothing could make me not miss you...but this will help, it's a bloody work of art!"

 

Emma worked her way through the Victoria's Secret bags, "there's enough here to make you another book!" She joked. 

 

"That's not a bad idea, Swan!" He wiggled his eyebrows at her earning a shake of her head at him.

 

"Here open this". She handed him another present which he slowly unwrapped.

 

"I don't know how you could beat the last..." yet again her gift rendered him speechless. In his hand he held an antique wooden frame containing the picture of her and Henry with him at the aquarium. They looked like a family, a happy complete family, a tear left his eye. "This is everything I could ever hope for."

 

Emma knew he didn't mean the present, but what it represented, she fought back her own tears and crawled over behind him resting her head on his back and hugging him. 

 

"Thank you" he whispered hoarsely then trying to break the sombre tone he wiped his eye with the back of his hand and passed the moment off. "Don’t mind me, I must have a pine needle stuck in my eye, here, Emma, your last present." He offered up the small box and Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. "And here's yours" she said exchanging the two, surprisingly similar, small boxes. 

 

They opened them at the same time and both started laughing. 

 

"Well I guess great minds think alike!" Killian grinned. 

 

Both boxes contained the key to the others apartment. Emma let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't a ring, but surprised herself at the faint pang of disappointment, perhaps she wasn't as opposed to the idea as she thought. 

 

"I'm not ready to move in together yet..." Emma began, "...but I want you to know you are always welcome to stay at mine and I know it's been difficult finding the opportunity to spend 'quality' time together so I thought you being able to stay every now and then might help?"

 

"I was thinking the same thing!" He beamed. "Though...my apartment  _is_ closer to your work and if we're going to be working together on this album it would make sense for you to live here..." 

 

Emma narrowed her eyes. "Let's start with sleep overs; there is no point in me paying a mortgage on my apartment if I'm not living there."

 

"You could sell it?" 

 

"And live off your charity?" She snapped, instantly regretting her tone when she saw the hurt expression in his eyes. 

 

"It's not charity, Emma; it's what committed couples do" 

 

"You think I'm not committed to you if I'm not living with you?" 

 

He took a deep breath, the last thing he wanted to do today was fight. "That's not what I said. I don't want to argue with you, thank you for my gift, I'd be honoured to stay over whenever I'm able to." He tried to defuse the situation as best he could. It seemed ever since they met, every time they were ready to take a new step Emma held him at arm’s length while he tried desperately to bring down another of her walls.

 

She sunk back against the sofa hating herself for sabotaging her relationship yet again. She prayed a silent prayer of thanks that Killian was so patient with her. 

 

"Looking forward to it."  It was the best she could offer him right now. She tried to lighten the mood. "So who are all the other presents for?" As soon as she asked there was a chorus of noise outside the front door.

 

"Well that was my other surprise for you...I've invited a few people over for a party, Christmas is about being with your loved ones, right?"

 

Next thing she knew the door swung open, Leeroy led the crowd walking clumsily with his eyes shut and arms out in front of him. "Everyone decent in here?" 

 

"They better be!"  David's stern parental tone could be heard from outside the door.

 

"Yes, yes, everyone is decent!" Killian rolled his eyes while Emma chuckled behind him.

 

One by one the guests filtered through, David and Mary Margaret, Ruby and August, Leeroy, Tink, Smee, Wendy, Tony with his wife and kids, Belle, The Reynolds and Henry. 

 

"Where's Violet and Roland?" Emma asked Mrs Reynold.

 

"Oh, I thought you heard dear, they were adopted, both in the same week to different families. Roland is moving to Albany but Violet is staying in the city, she'll still be at Henry's school which is great because those two are so close!"

 

"I hadn't heard! But then I finished work early this week...so it's just Henry with you guys?"

 

"He's been a little quiet since they left, but you know Henry, he's putting on a brave face and being very mature about it all. He loses himself in his stories."

 

Emma watched Henry play with Tony's kids they were already sitting on the floor round the tree listening to him recite 'Twas The Night Before Christmas'. How was this kid 7 years old? More like 17! 

 

She looked around the room at Killian and Mary Margaret busy in the kitchen warming mulled wine and making hot cocoa, Ruby pulling August under some mistletoe...she made a mental note to ask her friend what was going on there, Tony, Leroy, Mr Reynold and David chatting, though David was casting a disgruntled look at the amount of Victoria's Secret bags under the tree, God that was embarrassing! Tink, Wendy and Belle were already around the piano beating out Christmas tunes and Emma couldn't help but smile, Killian had organised all of this for her, to make her Christmas special. 

 

He glanced up from the party nibbles he was throwing together and gave her a wink and that smile that he saved specially for her. Their fight seemed silly now, looking around her nearest and dearest surely this was what was most important, surrounding yourself with people you love and who love you. 

 

**

 

"Emma looks happy" Mary Margaret observed while helping Killian with the food. 

 

He sighed. "I hope so; her happiness is all I want..."

 

"But?" The ever perceptive Mary Margaret prodded.

 

Killian ran his hand through his hair trying to gather his thoughts. "I make no secret of my love for Emma, I'd go to the end of the world for her, or time...but I don't know exactly how she feels about me...just when it feels like we're making progress she finds another way to keep me at a distance." 

 

The family matriarch smiled sympathetically at him. "Give her time. Emma was never going to make it easy for you. She's been hurt so badly in the past by men, I think sometimes she imagines what she has with you is too good to be true. Be patient, look at how far you've come already with her, she's a more open, happy, confident woman than she was 4 months ago and that is in part because of you. Don't lose heart, Emma has a way of finding excuses not to trust people, it took years for her to trust David and me but she did, eventually. All we could do was love her unconditionally, even when she tried to push us away."

 

Killian was thoughtful. "I'm not going anywhere." He promised.

 

"I know"

 

**

 

The party continued into the evening, the apartment was filled with life, laughter and merriment. For Killian this was shaping up to be the best Christmas he’d ever had. He chuckled at David preforming his rendition of Wham's "Last Christmas" and just as he was pulling out his phone to take a video he could blackmail him with later, Ruby snuck up behind him almost making him drop it when she asked, "So how did you like the book Emma got you?"

 

"Ah, I did wonder who the photographer was."

 

Ruby gave an exaggerated bow, "just one of my many talents" she winked.

 

"I'd like to be able to comment on your skill as a photographer but I have to admit I was so distracted by the subject matter it's hard to remember the composition." He admitted shyly.

 

"Oh that's understandable I guess."

 

Across the room Emma had just finished a conversation with Tony's wife and spotted Henry alone looking out if the apartment window at the New York City skyline.

 

"Penny for your thoughts." She asked, giving him a friendly nudge.

 

"I don't want to get adopted"

 

His admission caught her off guard.

 

"Why not?"

 

"I don't want to move away. What if I have to go far and I can't see you and Killian anymore?" 

 

Emma's heart broke. She didn't like the idea of not seeing Henry any more than he did. She put her arm around his shoulder.

 

"Listen Henry, no matter where life takes you I will always be around, I might not live in your town or even your state but I'll always only be a phone call away."

 

"And Killian?" 

 

"He cares a lot for you, kid. He invited you tonight, right? He loves hanging out with you." 

 

"I wish I could just live today forever."

 

"But you haven't even opened any presents yet!"  Emma laughed.

 

The boy shrugged, "they don't matter"

 

She gave his shoulder a squeeze. "How about I have Mary Margaret whip you up a hot cocoa?"

 

"With cinnamon!" He added with a small smile.

 

“Of course! And Heny…” she added, “…you don’t have to worry about losing us, I promise.”

 

He smiled, and he almost believed her.

 

**

 

As midnight loomed closer one by one the guests drifted home until only Leeroy remained. He and Killian had some business to discuss since tomorrow was the day Elsa was going to announce she was writing a new album with Killian. 

 

"Take the study guys; I'll tidy up a few things here while I wait." Emma offered. 

 

She had noticed Belle, who seemed unable to leave her work alone, had cleaned as the party went on so it didn't take Emma long at all. While she was waiting for Killian she slipped into bed and pulled out her phone. Ruby had been bugging her to get her twitter started up she opened the app and opened her account, she'd foolishly allowed Ruby to create her handle since she couldn't come up with anything so now she was officially @Emma_Jones1 which Ruby had insisted was normal for a Killian Jones fan account. She'd also made Emma follow his official fan club and website among other prominent members of his fan base and surprisingly she'd already gained over a hundred followers despite not posting anything! 

 

Knowing Elsa's announcement was coming tomorrow Emma decided to look her up and follow her too, along with the Jolly Roger and Tiger Lily and also her works twitter account, which must be run by Mary Margaret since it seemed to mainly post inspirational quotes, most coming from Disney movies.  

 

While on Elsa's profile her eye caught Killian's name and the more she scrolled down the more she noticed crossover between Killian and Elsa's fans. Most of the jargon Emma didn't understand, she was unsure what a 'ship' or 'OTP' were but there were a slew of pictures of Killian and Elsa together at their event the other week, and at the Victoria's Secret fashion show...he'd not mentioned seeing Elsa there. The pictures had captions like "I just want a guy to look at me the way Killian Jones looks at Elsa" and "2016's hottest couple" not to mention all the #relationshipgoals it was fast becoming obvious that there were a group of people who not only wanted Killian and Elsa to be a couple but who truly believed they were! 

 

It seemed ridiculous to Emma, Killian had publicly said he had a girlfriend; he'd posted a picture with her. 

 

She then saw a screen shot of one of Killian's old tweets 

 

" **@therealKillianJones** :  **Looking forward to attending The Blue Fairy Charity Auction Sunday night and supporting a great cause with my beautiful date.**

 

Tweeted alongside it were pictures of Killian at the event with Elsa on the red carpet. Emma felt sick. That was the event he'd asked her to attend but she had to look after Henry. His words replayed over and over in her mind "with my beautiful date" they looked happy in the pictures, no wonder their fans were confused. It had to be a mistake, this wasn't her Killian; the man she'd just persuaded to work closely with Elsa on a project that would be announced to the world tomorrow! 

 

She sprung from the bed and ran to the bathroom, splashing cold water on her face. "There's a reasonable explanation" she said aloud to herself, "Killian loves you". She forced herself to go back to bed, closed the app, after finding his post announcing their relationship and retweeting it, as much to remind her as his fans. Even though Emma knew she was being unreasonable getting upset about it, after all, he did warn her that fans could get crazy on twitter, but she couldn't bring herself to face him tonight so turned off the bedside lamp and curled up facing away from his side of the bed. 

 

A few minutes later he entered the room, hoping to finally have a moment alone with Emma. He didn't like that their last conversation was an argument and had wanted to clear the air before waking up on Christmas morning. He let out a sigh when he saw her sleeping. He'd just have to deal with it in the morning; he reached over resting his arm on her waist and kissed her head before falling asleep himself. 

 

**

By the time Killian Jones awoke the next morning Emma was already up and dressed and making coffee for them.  She set the mug on his bedside table and started packing up her things.

“Come back to bed, it’s Christmas” He groaned. “I still have another present for you.” He was trying to sound serious but she could see his teasing smile half hidden under the sheets. Her first instinct was to join in and tease him back then all the tweets she’d read the previous night came flooding back.  Her back went rigid and she cleared her throat.

“No time, I’m afraid, David and Mary Margaret run a strict timetable on Christmas Day and they’re expecting us there in 40 minutes, you need to get up and get ready.”

It was only half true, yes her foster parents have countless traditions to get through but it was hers and Killian’s first Christmas together so they probably wouldn’t mind them taking their time, well Mary Margaret wouldn’t at least!

“Well I don’t want to make a bad impression at my first Christmas with my girlfriend’s parents!”

She winced, 24 hours ago she delighted in hearing him call her that, but now he was acting like everything was normal when she knew that countless people were fantasizing about him with another, stunningly beautiful, woman. She had questions; why hadn’t he told her he’d seen Elsa in L.A.? Why had he referred to Elsa as his ‘beautiful date’?  Did he know that his fans wanted him and Elsa to be together? The questions fired through her mind as rapidly as a machine gun.

Last night Emma had hoped that sleep would make her feel better but she’d just woken up feeling empty and slightly queasy. She hadn’t even noticed that he’d gotten out of bed and walked towards her until he was already pressing his lips against hers.  Her mind, now littered with images of him acting similarly with Elsa, wouldn’t allow her body to respond in kind, instead she tensed up, not unnoticed by Killian.

“Swan, are you ok?”

“fine” She shot back, then zipped up her case and left with it into the living room leaving Killian scratching his head wondering what had gotten into Emma.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience with this chapter. I was having issues with it and had to take a step away for a while to clear my head and come back to it. If you're getting restless waiting for chapters please give some of my other fics a read and drop a comment or two ;) I also keep readers updated on twitter @librarybelle1 
> 
> Enjoy!

The vast difference between the atmospheres on Christmas Eve compared to Christmas Day was incredible and completely dumbfounding to Killian. David and Mary Margaret had gone all out, their home would put Santa's Grotto to shame; everywhere you looked there was another Christmas decoration, another small detail that Mary Margaret had thought of, all the way down to stockings hanging on the fire, one with his name stitched on it. The meal was delicious and conversation flowed easily between Killian and Emma's foster parents. It should have been a perfect Christmas but for some reason Emma was cold beside him. She talked to her parents but never directly to him, there were no glances or smiles thrown his way, no small touches or squeezes of his hand. The one time at the dinner table when he rested his hand on her thigh she completely tensed up. Emma was off and he couldn't figure out why. 

 

They said their goodbyes at the door and then Emma made her way towards the car; Killian was on her heels but felt a tug as he was pulled back by Mary Margaret's small hand. 

 

He gave her a questioning look.

 

"I don't know what's happened between you and Emma but don't leave it unresolved." She warned.

 

"I have no idea what I've done." Killian admitted, sounding defeated. 

 

She offered him a sympathetic smile. "Usually when she shuts down like this it's a defence mechanism, if she feels the relationship is threatened she'll recoil inside her emotional armour to protect herself from being hurt." 

 

He let her words sink then gave her a small nod "thanks for the advice and thank you for today!" He turned to David, "I really do need to get that stuffing recipe from you."

 

"Sorry, mate, family secret" David grinned. 

 

"We'll see you in two weeks at the orphanage fundraiser!" Mary Margaret called as he walked away. 

 

Killian waved then turned and jogged to catch up with Emma who was now waiting by the car, he offered her a shy smile and reached over to unlock the car and open her door for her. 

 

"Thanks" she muttered, shuffling into the car and fastening her seatbelt. 

 

He gently shut the door behind her and walked around the car to his side taking a deep breath before opening and sitting behind the wheel.

 

"Your place?"  He asked carefully, he assumed, judging by her body language all day, that she didn't want to spend the night with him, he didn't have an overnight bag nor had he been granted the sought after 'drawer' yet. He tried not to feel too hurt when she breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. 

 

The car journey was silent while he wracked his brain recounting everything he said and did over the past 48 hours trying to find an explanation for Emma sudden change.

 

When they pulled up to her apartment complex she played with her fingers looking down at her lap, "well um..." 

 

"I'll walk you to your door" he blurted out before she could finish. He didn't know what he was going to say but he knew he couldn't go another night wondering what was wrong. 

 

She nervously put her key in the lock, she didn't like the atmosphere any more than he did and she knew he didn't understand why it was like this, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get those pictures of him and Elsa on the red carpet out of her mind. The door clicked and pushed open and her heart sank as he followed her inside. She wanted to confront him but her lips wouldn't move and her body began to shake. Turning away she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

"Emma, did I do something wrong?" She was ready for confrontation, ready to shout, to accuse him of straying; but she wasn't ready to hear his voice so broken, stealing a glance at him just made her heart sink deeper in her chest. His hair was ruffled where he must have been running his hand through it; his eyes were puffy and filled with concern. He looked scared and she'd never been more terrified. Somewhere in the back of her mind a small voice told her she'd gone too far this time, her insecurities had been allowed to start a wildfire and she'd let it grow out of control. Her heartbeat was deafening and even though every instinct screamed at her not to, warning she'd regret it, the words came tumbling out.

 

"Is there something going on between you and Elsa?"

 

The moment she said it, in that split second when his face went from worry to complete shock to hurt and betrayal, she knew she'd done it, she’d broken him and she hated herself for it. 

 

It took her words a moment to sink in, surely he’d misheard her; how could Emma think he had feelings for anyone but her. The accusation completely blindsided him especially after the past two days with her. He'd given her gifts, spent time with her family and friends entertaining them, he'd given her the bloody key to his home, something he'd never done with another woman so what the hell made her think he was cheating on her? He felt sick; anger bubbled dangerously below the surface, weighed down only by Mary Margaret's words. 

 

_" if she feels the relationship is threatened she'll recoil inside her emotional armour to protect herself from being hurt."_

 

He wanted to sound calm, but his voice almost squeaked as he asked "You think I'm cheating on you?"  

 

"Are you?" 

 

A slap to the face would have hurt less.

 

"God, no! What the hell would make you think that?!" 

 

" _Keep calm Jones_ " he warned himself.

 

"Um" Emma swallowed, fidgeting with her keys and looking at the floor. "I saw online..."

 

He let out a sarcastic snort, was she seriously believing the internet? His reaction irritating her, she stood her ground stared him down and started rattling off accusations. 

 

"You went to the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show with her!"

 

"No, we both went separately and she came over and said hello and we had a conversation." He corrected her through clenched teeth. 

 

"You called her your beautiful date for that charity even last month!"

 

"What? No I didn't!" 

 

"You did! On twitter you said you couldn't wait to go with your beautiful date and then you walked the red carpet and sat with her." 

 

His eyes widened. "Emma I wrote that about you when I was planning on taking you, you couldn't go and then Leeroy came and we'd had an argument, I forgot to correct my tweet, I was more concerned with working things out between us. I have no control over who they sit me next to at those things!"

 

That was a blow to her argument, it was her most damning evidence and he'd explained it away effortlessly. She should have backed down and apologised but she told herself she was in too deep and she had to keep going, if nothing else to prove she had a valid reason to worry. 

 

"You named a cocktail after her at Tiger Lily, it was all over twitter"

 

"I named the whole damn bar after you!" He shouted, his frustration reaching a new high.

 

She swallowed back, she was fresh out of ammunition so used the last and feeblest of her arguments. 

 

"Your fans want you to be together." It was a mere whisper. 

 

He raised his head and walked towards her, his eyes raging, and jaw set. She backed up until she was against the wall but he kept coming closer resting his hands against the wall on either side of her, pressing his fingertips against the plasterboard so the tips shone white, they were so close their noses were almost touching, she could smell his aftershave, feel the heat of his body and she looked in his eyes and saw behind the thin veil of anger was a vast ocean of pain. She's caused that pain and she wanted to be physically sick. His voice was calm but husky.

 

"I don't give a shit what other people want, they don't know me, they don't know what I feel for you, and apparently you don't either." 

 

Emma winced at his words but he continued, she needed to hear this.

 

"I am not Walsh. I would never hurt you. I love you, and you can fight that and push me away all you want but I will always love you." 

 

He lifted his arms away and Emma turned and ran into her room, slamming her door behind her and sinking to the floor in tears. She couldn't stand to look at him hurting anymore, she cursed herself for ever looking online, for ever thinking he could be just as bad as Walsh. He loved her and in that moment she felt undeserving and it broke her heart.

 

She wasn't sure how long she'd been crying but she was sure he must have left by the time she’d stopped, not that she could blame him. Slowly rising up she realised she'd ran into Augusts room, her old room, instinctively. She cast a grim look over to the bed where she found Walsh that night. She should have gone back to her room but she wanted a shower and Walsh was staying with Ruby so she walked into the adjoining bathroom and ran the hot water. 

 

She let the scolding shower wash away the day. It was Christmas and she'd wrongly accused her boyfriend of cheating on her. She groaned as she hit her fist against the tiled wall in frustration at herself. 

 

As she dried off she tried to think of how to apologise to Killian tomorrow, if he'd listen to her. 

 

Wrapped in her towel she opened the bedroom door to walk to her room when she saw him, curled up on the couch sleeping. He hadn't left. 

 

She tiptoed over and knelt beside him, gently squeezing his arm she whispered his name, "Killian"

 

He stirred, "mmmmmm" he opened his eyes and sat up "Emma...I...um, I..."

 

"You didn't leave" The relief in her voice warmed his heart. 

 

"I didn't leave." He repeated back 

 

"I couldn't have blamed you if you did". She said sadly, dropping her head. 

 

"I couldn't walk away from you in the middle of a fight."

 

She looked up at him, blinking back the tears. "Come to bed" she whispered. 

 

He shook his head, "We need to talk."

 

"Right" she was nervous, a lot was said and they had to resolve the argument before they could move on. "I'll get dressed then"

 

"Probably best, you're rather distracting like that" he chuckled, leaving her amazed at his ability to step out of whatever intense moment they found themselves in and say the most normal of things, "I'll make us some coffee."

 

When she returned wearing sweats and a hoodie he was sitting at the small table and directly across from him her favourite mug sat, steam dancing up into the air from the dark liquid. He'd placed her opposite him, not beside him, a small detail that wasn't lost on her and which made her shoulders slump slightly. She took her seat, her fingernails tapping her mug nervously. 

 

He started, "how long?"

 

"I don't know what you..."

 

"How long have you suspected me of cheating on you?"

 

Her jaw dropped. It was a fair question; it is after all exactly what she accused him of. Hearing him say it made it worse somehow, it suddenly seemed ridiculous that she ever doubted him. Looking at him now brooding across the table it was obvious to Emma that she'd made a mistake, one that was going to take a lot of work to remedy. 

 

"I'm sorry" she shook her head at herself. "When I was waiting for you to finish up with Leeroy last night I went on twitter and I just wanted to see what your fans said about Elsa's announcement, I was excited for you...I wasn't expecting to see all these tweets about how in love you and Elsa were, they claimed to have proof and I guess the more posts I read the more I started to get wrapped up in it, the more I looked the more there was. I can see now that they twisted facts and took tweets and photos out of context to make it appear like you two are a couple. I got worked up..." she played with the sleeves of her hoodie. He was staring at his coffee cup with furrowed brows; she was worried he'd burn a hole through the cup if he scowled any harder at it. 

 

She sighed heavily, bringing her knees up to her chest on the seat in some sort of comforting embrace as she pushed on. 

 

"I didn't believe it at first, it was annoying but ridiculous until I saw the tweet you posted about your date next to a picture of you and Elsa on the carpet, your arm around her waist and you both smiling at each other. I know it's not fair but I instantly thought of Walsh and how he managed to fool me all those years, seeing another woman right under my nose. It was enough to sew a seed of doubt that seemed to bloom over the past 24 hours." 

 

"It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions, I know you better than that. I'm really terrible at accepting a good thing when it comes my way but that's my fault, I know it's on me...I promise to do whatever it takes to make it up to you…that is if you still want me.”

 

His eyes darted up to meet hers, scanning her face and studying her athletic frame hunched over defensively in the small chair.  He wanted to be angry at her, it’d be so much easier to write her off, walk out leaving her behind but he knew that wasn’t an option.  The anger had melted away leaving him with just a broken heart. He didn’t know what to say and Emma, who was left wondering what he was thinking, crumbled into tears.

 

He quietly got up from his seat, walked over to her and scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the sofa where he stayed holding her as she cried into his shoulder. He swallowed a lump back in his throat; he hated Walsh for being so reckless with her heart, for making her feel like she was disposable, easily replaced with the next pretty face that came along. She eventually calmed down, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry”

He pulled her in tighter.  “Oh Emma.”

She sighed, feeling the weight of his own hurt on top of hers, as he kissed her head. 

“Your heart's been through a lot...and it's my job, at least I hope it is, to protect your heart. It's going to take time and work from both of us but I'm still hopeful of a future together, but for this to work you are going to have to trust me."

 

"I know". She turned in his arms to face him, "Do you really think we could have it? The white picket fence life?"

 

"I'll never stop fighting for us." He kissed her tears, "there will always be rumours about me...it’s part of being in the public eye. If it were up to me I'd have you by my side at every event but with both our schedules that just isn't possible but I promise I'll never intentionally try to make you jealous."

 

She nodded, "you're right, it’s part of your job, I just need to get used to seeing you around beautiful women."

 

He laughed, "everyone looks beautiful at these things, we have a whole army of people who make us look like that, I can see how it appears romantic from the outside but really it's just work." 

 

"Yeah well it's hardly like you're going to get jealous of anyone I come across!"

 

Killian bit his lip, "actually..."

 

Her eyes widened, "who!"

 

He sheepishly scratched behind his ear, his cheeks flaring pink. "Well I don't like the way that police officer looks at you..."

 

"Which one, Graham?"

 

"Yeah...and since when were you two on first name terms?" He asked embarrassed by the jealousy he heard in his voice.

 

Emma looked at him lovingly, "I've been working with him because one of the kids we’ve taken on is showing signs of abuse, Graham is the officer assigned to the case, that's all."

 

"He likes you". Killian muttered.

 

"I don't care, I love you."

 

"Now do you see it?"  He grinned.

 

Emma laughed. "I was an idiot, I see it now."

 

"Not an idiot, just mistaken...though I have to admit it does hurt to think that you doubted how I felt for you."

 

"I know I need to work on my insecurities" she sat up with determination. "From now on I promise to always choose to see the best in you."

 

"And I you"

 

She smiled back "That seems like the perfect place to start."

 

His tongue darted out mischievously, "now about this twitter account..."

 

Emma bit her lip, "about that..."

 

"Well are you going to keep going on?"

 

"I think so, now I know not to believe everything I read, I kind of like following your career." 

 

"Can you at least tell me your user name so I can follow you?"

 

"Um..." Now it was Emma's turn to blush.  "I don't think that's necessary..."

 

"Come on, Swan, it's only fair! Do I have to tickle it out of you?"

 

"Don't you dare!"  

 

The quiet apartment erupted into squeals begging him to stop, "Ok, ok I'll tell you but Ruby came up with it...god this is so embarrassing!"

 

"Tell me love, I promise not to laugh."

 

Emma hid her face in her hands, "its @Emma_Jones1" she lifted her head tentatively to spy his reaction. 

 

He feigned confusion "Jones? I thought your last name was Swan? Oh did you do that thing some people do when they take the last name of their favourite celebrity? Is it a fan account for someone?" 

 

She tried to keep a serious face but he was enjoying torturing her too much and it was all she could do not to wilt with embarrassment as he went on.

 

"I wonder who it could be, Tom Jones? He does have a voice like silk...oh maybe its Indiana Jones; I mean who doesn't fangirl over him? Tommy Lee Jones? I would have thought he'd be a bit old for you but whatever floats your boat...ouch!"

 

She punched him in the arm, "ok rub it in, laugh away, like I said...it was Ruby's idea"

 

"No need to be shy, it does have a nice ring to it" he winked, causing her to roll her eyes. Suddenly he furrowed his brows, "if people find out who you are you could get a lot of hassle online."

 

"I'm not posting any pictures of myself just retweeting your stuff. It makes me feel more a part of that side of your life, our jobs are so different and so demanding of us, we don't really get to see each other at work."

 

"That's going to change this year though, with me speaking at your fundraiser and you helping me with my music, things are starting to overlap beautifully."

 

"We can really make this work?"

 

"I'm counting on it, love." He was looking at her with that goofy lovesick smile that made her heart melt. 

 

"You know, I wanted this to be the best Christmas ever for you...I kind of ruined that, huh?"

 

He rubbed the back of his neck, "oh I don't know, it was kind of still the best Christmas I can remember." He admitted honestly.

 

"At least it should be easy for me to top next year then!" She offered making his face light up. She still saw them together next year, they were baby steps but at least they were going in the right direction. She shuffled out of his arms to look at her phone, "its 4:30am, can you come to bed now?"

 

He stood and reached his hand out and pulled her up onto her feet, "if the lady insists."

 

** 

 

They saw the New Year in with a bang, literally. Killian had converted the roof of Tiger Lily into its own private club. While the party raged on inside, Killian, Emma, Ruby, August, Elsa, her sister Anna, Leeroy, Elsa's manager Ingrid, and various record label executives watched the fireworks from the best seats in, or rather on, the house. Champagne was flowing, as was the laughter, even Ingrid seemed in a good mood and had stopped firing Killian and Emma dirty looks as they struggled to keep their hands off each other. 

 

Since almost breaking up on Christmas Day they'd decided they would work harder being united as a team and they were stronger for it.  They spent most of their nights together; now Killian was based in NYC again, taking turns to stay at each other’s homes. It finally felt like they were a somewhat normal couple and their bliss bubbled over so all could see, even if they didn’t want to.

 

“Ok, guys, why don’t you find a room already, you’ve been giving each other eyes all night and I’m starting to feel queasy.” David complained.

 

“Sorry, mate” Killian chuckled. 

 

“Don’t apologise, he’s just bitter he’s missing out on bro time!” Mary Margaret teased, while David pouted beside her.

 

“Why don’t we take my boat out this weekend?” Killian offered, “Have a boy’s fishing trip, August, you could come along too?”

 

They turned to see August with Ruby perched on his lap practically devouring his face, he still managed to give a thumbs up to the suggestion, much to the others amusement.

 

“Ok that’s it decided then!”

 

“Girl’s spa weekend for us?” Emma offered.

 

“No chance, we have a fundraiser to organise!” Mary Margaret reminded her.

 

“Ok, well now that’s all decided, have a wonderful night, stay as long as you want” Killian announced, turning to take Emma’s hand, “as for us there is only one way I want to spend my first few hours of the New Year and it requires a bit more privacy.”

 

David groaned, while the others wolf whistled and jeered and Ruby mouthed “hours?” to Emma, making her giggle and shrug before saying their goodbyes.

 

**

 

A few weeks later Emma stood at the side of the stage beaming with pride while Killian addressed the room full of young people, all in foster care, group homes, or living on the streets.  He spared no details in his tough start to life, empathising with those in the audience while motivating them not to give up in the most inspirational and not remotely patronising way.  There was a standing ovation when he finished and stepped off the stage to stand by her side.

 

“Killian that was amazing!” She whispered excitedly to him.

 

“Really, you think so? Was it too long?”

 

“No, not at all, it was perfect, you were perfect.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

 

Killian had to admit it felt good feeling like he could make a difference in people’s lives.  He’d never imagined himself, all those years ago living on the streets with Liam becoming a role model for young kids going through similar trials.  His past had always been something he’d kept hidden, something he was ashamed of, until Emma believed in him and gave him the confidence to speak up.

 

As Mary Margaret took to the stage and announced refreshments being served in the next room Henry ran over to Killian tugging at his blazer, “Killian come and meet my friends, they don’t believe that I know Killian Jones!”

 

“Ok, lad” he chuckled, flashing an apologetic look over his shoulder to Emma who waved him off smiling.

 

“That man you have there is really something else, hold onto him tight.” The well natured voice belonged to Mrs Reynolds, who’d stood beside Emma.

 

“I intend to” Emma confessed, still fondly watching Killian being led across the room by Henry.

 

“Emma dear, it’s been such a wonderful evening here and I don’t mean to put a damper on it but I need to tell you something.”

 

Her attention turned to the older woman, it’d been a few weeks since Emma had seem Mrs Reynolds and she instantly noticed a change in the woman’s appearance, he skin was slightly grey, her face, body and even her hair all appeared thinner.

 

“Mrs Reynolds is everything alright?”

 

“No dear, it’s my health, well…I have cancer.”

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that, how long have you known?”

 

“I just found out a couple days before Christmas but I didn’t want to say anything, I just wanted to enjoy the holidays.  My doctor is optimistic, but I need to do chemo and I’ll not be able to foster Henry anymore.” She sighed, watching Henry excitedly show Killian off to his friends. “Henry has been such a blessing to us and I’m truly sorry to have to step down from being his foster parent, I do it with a heavy heart, especially knowing this means he’ll go back to a group home until he can find a new family, he’ll potentially even have to move state and he loves it so much here.” She said sadly.

 

Emma turned to the old woman she’d come to grow so fond of, resting her hand on her arm, “Don’t worry about Henry, he’ll understand and we will make sure he is looked after, right now you need to concentrate on your health and beating this.”

 

“Thank you Emma, I still have to figure out a way to tell him.”  She gave Emma a hug and walked over to Mary Margaret, leaving Emma alone watching Henry and Killian laughing and joking together and silently praying for a new foster family in NYC to agree to take him on, because the thought of losing him after they’d become so close crushed her heart.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having to cover a bit of time here and trying out something new by letting twitter be a background commentary...hope the experiment works and it all makes sense. I'm trying to show how different real life can be to how it's sometimes perceived on social media

Jan 18th: 

  


**@therealKillianJones** : honoured to speak at the Intercity Children's Home fundraiser tonight and support such an important organisation

  
**@killiansbabe** : OMG sexy and generous ;) 

  
**@elsakillianstan** : I need to know if Elsa was there.

  
**@elsajonesOTP:** Killian Jones with kids is my aesthetic 

  
**@mrskillianjones** : ily! 

  


Jan 30th

  
**@ElsaArendellelive:** working with Killian Jones is a dream come true, can't wait for you guys to hear the new album! #reallifefairytale

  
**@HeyElsa** :  when are we getting our #Ellian selfie? 

  
**@Elsa_no1fan** : YAAAAASSS can't wait! When is the release date? 

  
**@elsakillianstan** : just imagine Elsa and Killian in a room together writing songs! KHFSERGJHBDSU

  
**@TherealKillianJones** : @ElsaArendellelive making magic happen! 

  
**@EllianTrueLove** : Don't care what they say Ellian is real! Emma who? 

  


Feb 14th

  
**@ENewsLive** Love is in the air! @ElsaArendellelive @TherealKillianJones reveal their new album will be primarily love songs! 

  
**@EllianTrueLove** : OMG! I knew it! Elsa and Killian writing love songs. DEAD!

  
**@KillianJones_ily** : Killian is writing love songs with Elsa and I can't stop crying. 

  
**@EmpireRecords** : pleased to announce the new album from Elsa Arendelle and Killian Jones will be released this fall.

  
**@TherealKillianJones** : @EmpireRecords @ElsaArendellelive Whoop whoop!

  


**

  


"You mean something like this?" She tapped out an upbeat tune on the piano. 

"Do that again but more gradual like this..." he hummed a slow melody and she followed suit filling out the tone with the bass keys, both hands gliding across the piano. 

  
"That! Right there, that's perfect love." 

  
She hummed in acknowledgement repeating the tune over and over until she had it memorised then she stopped quickly jotting down their progress on the music sheet in front of her. 

  
"What's next?" 

  
Killian rose out of his seat and she was instantly aware of him, she could feel the heat of his body behind her, hear his steady breathing mere inches from her ear. His fingers gently traced her neck sending a tantalising chill down her back as she hummed happily in response. His lips caressed her neck just below her ear causing a sharp intake of breath. 4 months together and he still knew exactly how to make her weak at the knees. 

  
His lips brushed against her ear, "I think that's enough for today...come, I've got plans for you"

  
She spun around on the piano stool just in time to see him slipping into his bedroom looking back over his shoulder just long enough to give her a cheeky smile. 

  
Smiling and shaking her head wondering what he'd been up to she followed him. Once inside his room she saw one of her dresses, a red chiffon maxi dress with straps draped down into a crisscross on the front giving it a Grecian feel and leaving a plunging neckline and thigh high slit, hanging from the closet door. 

  
Frowning she stepped towards it, gently rubbing the material with her fingers as if to make sure it was really hers. She'd bought it at the Michael Kors outlet last year with Ruby, even on sale it was more than she'd usually spend and took hours of Ruby nagging her throughout their day shopping for her to return and buy it. She'd been waiting for an opportunity to wear it, perhaps a wedding or something formal like that. 

  
She could hear Killian whistling the tune they'd been working on in the adjoining bathroom. Amused, she followed the sound and found him standing in front of the mirror in dark navy dress pants and a white shirt he was effortlessly buttoning with his good hand, a black bow tie hung loose around his collar. He looked up at her in the mirror and flashed a charming smile. 

  
"You wouldn't be able to help me out with this?"  He nodded down signalling to the bow tie "it seems there are in fact things even I can't do." 

  
Smiling she sighed and walked over to him, tying a perfect bow. 

  
"Are you going somewhere, Mr Jones?"

  
His lips twitched teasing a smile before falling back into character speaking matter of factly. 

  
"We, Miss Swan, are going out."

  
"Going out?"

  
"Yes, going out. It may have escaped your attention but today is Valentine's Day and you..." he kissed her cheek "...are my valentine."

  
Emma rolled her eyes at his goofiness then throwing him a suspicious glare asked "did you have Ruby raid my closet?" 

  
Shrugging he said, "I told her I was surprising you and you'd need something to wear. She asked if i wanted anything specific and I told her my favourite colour is red." He gave Emma a wink. 

  
"Well I was waiting for a chance to wear this" she muttered reaching for the gown. 

  
By the time she'd dressed and done her hair and makeup Killian was back in the living room vigorously scribbling something on a piece of paper that he quickly tucked away as she approached. 

  
"Love, you're...you look..." 

  
"I know" she grinned. Over four months together and she still felt butterflies take flight in her stomach when he looked at her in awe like that. Emma knew she would never tire of this feeling; the nervousness mixed with excitement swirling around inside her because this man who was kind, intuitive, loving, and well...hot as hell, looked at her like he couldn't believe how lucky he was. 

  
He held out his hand shyly, "Are you ready?" 

  
She nodded, smiling sweetly as she allowed him to take her hand and lead her down to the car. 

  
She hadn't known what to expect but she certainly wasn't expecting to pull up to The Jolly Roger. In fact her heart sank a little remembering how Walsh brought her to his place of work for their anniversary, surely Killian didn't bring her out so he could kill two birds with one stone showing face at his restaurant while taking her out for Valentine’s Day. The feeling of impending dread only worsened when she spotted a paparazzi outside, suddenly feeling self-conscious she played with her hair and smoothed out imaginary wrinkles in her gown. 

Picking up on her hesitation Killian squeezed her hand so she'd meet his eyes.

  
"Hey, you look perfect, I have a surprise for you inside, and we just need to walk to the door. We're not stopping for pictures, just hold my hand and ignore them, tonight is about you and me."

  
The sincerity in his eyes calmed her. He wasn't Walsh, when would he stop haunting her relationship? She trusted Killian so she nodded and gave him a small smile. 

  
"Ok" he smiled encouragingly, "wait here for me"

  
He slipped out the door and in an instant the car was surrounded with flashes and commotion, there had to be more than one photographer out there. Emma took a deep breath and then her door opened as Killian shielded her from the cameras.

  
"There are a few cameras out here but security won't let them too close to us, are you ready?" 

  
She didn't know how to answer, would she ever be ready for the attention being with Killian brought with it? Would this ever become normal to her? She took his hand and stepped onto the sidewalk looking at the ground as she walked quickly beside him towards the safe haven of The Jolly Roger. It was sensory overload as flashes stung the corners of her eyes and numerous voices shouted questions at Killian.

  
"Are you seeing Elsa tonight?"

  
"Is it true the relationship between you and Elsa has gone beyond friendship?"

  
"Is this your girlfriend?"

  
"What does Elsa think of your relationship?"

  
"Were you working on the album today?"

  
The questions were fired at a relentless pace but Killian remained silent and refused to engage simply leading Emma into the restaurant. The thick glass door shut behind them muffling the sound of the commotion outside. Once through the next set of doors Killian walked Emma through the restaurant, past his office and into the kitchen until they came out the other side into the staff corridor. Finally alone he stopped and gave her a once over making sure she was ok. Her hands were shaking. 

  
"That was intense". She whispered.

  
“Yeah, but you did great." He beamed, then running his fingers through his hair he said "um...about all those questions..."

  
But she kissed him on the cheek silencing him before he could finish. 

  
"I know...people are bound to ask, they're looking for a juicy story..."

  
"But there isn't one there."  He added.

  
She nodded then looked around taking in the back service corridor. 

  
"Where are we?"

  
"Ah! Well before you worry, no I am not working tonight...I just wanted to make sure you had the best food in New York City and, well..." he shrugged looking around.

  
She giggled, "That ego is going to get you in trouble one day!" 

  
His eyes twinkled "perhaps...but hopefully not today" then biting down on his bottom lip to try and control his excitement, his eyes swept over her once again, she really did look celestial in that dress, he'd noticed it that first night he saw her sitting alone in his restaurant - Emma emitted a glow, he didn't believe in auras but she was light personified and it wasn't the first time he felt undeserving to bask in it. He shook himself back to reality while she eyed him curiously silently asking what far off place he'd just visited. How could he explain he'd just been to heaven and back without moving an inch? Instead he shrugged apologetically and flashed a toothy grin.

  
"Come with me" 

  
Emma followed him down the corridor to a set of stairs, she lost count of how many flights they climbed and just when her feet were starting to protest the heels she'd picked they reached a grey double door that looked like a fire escape. Killian pushed it open with a grunt and then stopped it shutting on itself by jamming a brick in the gap leaving it slightly ajar.

  
Emma gasped; they were on the roof and there in the centre was a small marquee with sheer cream material covering the top and draped down the sides and tied in the corners like curtains, fairy lights intertwined in them. Dotted around the floor were glass lanterns filled with thick church candles flickering. Under the marquee was a table set for two with an outdoor heater beside it which Emma was thankful for as each breath of wonderment at the scene before her danced out of her mouth swirling through the chilly night air. 

  
Killian quickly shrugged off his jacket placing it on her shoulders then walked over and pulled out her chair for her, once seated he lifted a thick throw blanket and theatrically shook it open before laying it on her lap and sitting across from her and pulling a matching blanket over himself. 

  
Emma shook her head searching for words, "Killian this is...I mean...I can't believe..." she laughed at her own inability to form legitimate sentences. 

  
He looked positively gleeful at her reaction. "Well love, this is just the beginning of what I have planned for you tonight!"

  
She raised her brow suggestively.

  
"I...I mean...I didn't mean that...but yeah that too..."

  
He was flustered and it was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. Deciding to put him out of his misery she reached over to his right hand weaving her fingers through his and with her other hand slowly ran her finger down the inside of his forearm and along the length of his prosthetic. His eyes followed her finger along its path then darted up to see her looking up at him through her lashes. He swallowed hard as her foot crept up the inside of his leg, enjoying the effect she was having on him a little too much. 

  
"Oh believe me, Captain, there'll be plenty of that tonight" she purred, licking her lips, then sitting up and acting as though nothing had just happened she asked in a dead Pan voice, "so what's on the menu tonight?"

  
He tutted under his breath. "You are a tease, Swan, that's bad form."

 

"What's bad form is bringing a lady out for dinner and leaving her wilting from hunger, stomach growling!"

  
He held up his hands in defeat "touché, well as it happens I've been very busy the past month developing a bespoke menu especially for you! You will be the first and only person to eat these dishes; I've designed them specifically with you in mind."

  
Emma sat back surprised by this revelation "so who's cooking them?"

  
"I paid my sous chef overtime to stay behind after shifts so I could teach him."

 

"You did all that all for me...for tonight?"

  
"Aye"

  
They held eye contact for a moment and Emma was just about to open her mouth when Wendy came huffing and puffing through the door carrying a silver tray. 

  
"Hi Wendy". Emma smiled up at the waitress. 

  
"Hello" Wendy smiled giving Emma a wink and Killian a nod. She took the lid off the tray and set their plates down in front of them "three little pigs" she said proudly and then explained to Emma, "pork three ways, we have a pork and sage mousse in a crispy bacon bowl, pork and apple terrine with a hint of cinnamon, and finally pulled pork bruschetta with a bourbon rue." She filled their glasses with wine then nodded and left the diners alone to start their meal.

  
Emma leaned her nose down to the plate "oh my god Killian this smells amazing! But...why exactly do I make you think of three little pigs!" She pretended to be offended. 

  
Killian almost spat out his wine then composing himself chuckled lightly. "Believe me love, you certainly don't make me think of pigs exactly but you are always reading fairytales, especially with Henry and so I wanted to pay homage to that and well..." he rubbed under his ear "the three little pigs was the only fairytale I could think of."

  
"Well this is both adorable and delicious! And I must be the big bad wolf because I'm famished and these poor piggies don't stand a chance!"

  
After demolishing the little porkers Emma set down her fork and before she could reach for her wine suddenly Wendy was there again to take their plates and replace them with their main course, lifting the lids off again and sliding the plates in front of them. "Now we have Boston's Bounty, a twist on lobster Thermidor with secret recipe and side of cheddar biscuits." 

  
Once Wendy left them again Emma beamed at Killian "A taste of Boston!"

  
"A taste of home" Killian added. 

  
Emma dug in making an array of semi-erotic moans of pleasure with each taste of the best lobster she'd ever eaten. 

  
Killian watched her with no end of amusement. "I better hear at least this much enjoyment leaving your lips later tonight, there's no way I'm letting a shellfish pleasure you more than me"

  
"Well that's really up to you then" she winked shoving a forkful of lobster in her mouth. 

  
"Challenge accepted!" He answered in a low growl filled with promise that left her feeling slightly weak. 

  
She had to change the subject before the conversation accelerated to them in a compromising position she didn't want Wendy walking in on. She cleared her throat, not missing the smug look on Killian's face; the bastard knew exactly what effect he was having on her. 

 

"You've gone to so much effort tonight, I can't believe it! This is really the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." She gushed honestly. 

  
"It's my pleasure Emma." He’d never been great at receiving complements but he was thrilled he’d made her happy.

  
She took another gulp of wine for confidence before she continued. "I actually have something for you too...not really a present, more like a proposal...wait...not like that!"

  
His eyes widened, as did his grin "are you making an honest man of me, Swan?"

  
"No no!" Her face was more crimson than the lobster on her plate. "Not that...I guess it's more of a proposition..."

  
His left eyebrow darted up "ok, now I'm intrigued, go on" 

  
"Well I guess it involves Ruby and August..."

  
His right eyebrow met his left. "Yeah I’m sorry but I’m not exactly into that..."

  
"Oh shut up already!" She laughed "you should be so lucky!" 

  
His bottom lip protruded pretending to be upset.

  
She took a deep breath and continued. "As you may have noticed things are getting kind of serious between August and Ruby and well they want to move in together."

 

Killian watched her carefully, he'd wanted Emma to move in with him back at Christmas but she'd shot the idea down and he'd licked his wounds and dropped the subject but the truth was he'd love nothing more than to take their relationship to the next level and the fact that August and Ruby were ready to make that step together when they’d been together for a shorter period of time struck him with a pang of jealousy. 

  
"The thing is, August likes my apartment, it's a great location for him and I would just tell Ruby to move in but he wants a more serious relationship with her, they're ready to live just the two of them and so he has offered to buy my apartment from me"

  
Killian didn't know what to say, still unsure of where Emma was going with this. "Wow so what are you going to do?"

  
"Well I’d like to give it to them...but then I would need to find a new place to stay..."

  
"And have you put any thought into where you might like to live?" He anxiously watched her, holding his breath for her response.

  
"Yes, actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about..."

  
It was at that moment Wendy arrived again to clear the plates and this time she carried a tray with something huge on it hidden by a cloth draped on top of it. She set the serving plate in the middle of the table then replacing their empty plates with two bowls she pinched the top of the cloth and lifted it up revealing what looked like a beautiful Crystal Swan shaped dish filled with some sort of layered chocolate dessert. 

  
"And your final course, Swan Song, a sugar Swan parfait layered with 80% cocoa Colombian chocolate, Italian meringue, raspberry compote, whipped cream with cinnamon and Swiss milk chocolate shavings, enjoy"

  
Emma's jaw dropped faced with what could only be described as a piece of art sitting on their table. Killian cursed the timing, she was rendered speechless the moment she was about to tell him something important about her living situation. 

  
"Killian...did she say that Swan was made out of sugar? Did you make this?"

  
"Erm...yeah, its sugar art...do you like it?" He asked nervously. 

  
"Like it? Killian this is a masterpiece! How in the world..."

  
"Oh just a bit of patisserie magic" he winked blowing it off but she knew this must have taken him a lot of effort to make and it was all for her. "The swan is, well obviously for you, and I tried to make a dessert with similar flavours to your hot cocoa and cinnamon you insist on drinking every night, with my own twist of course."

  
"It looks incredible, it feels like a sin to eat it and ruin how pretty it is!"

  
"What would be a sin is not eating it after all the work that went into it, trust me, it's made to be enjoyed!"

  
"Well if you insist."

  
The first bite had her eyes rolling to the back of her head.  "Oh my god!"

  
"Seems like I'm really going to have my work cut out for me tonight" 

  
"This may do the job for you!"  She laughed.

  
He threw his head back chuckling, "orgasmic desserts, now if I could break into that market then I'd really be onto a winner!"

  
"Listen, babe, you're not far off with this!" She pointed excitedly at the dessert with her chocolate and cream covered spoon sending specks of pudding sprinkling across the table.

  
He watched her go to town on the dessert "how much wine have you had, love?" 

  
"Not nearly enough darling!" The sentiment was highlighted with a hiccup. 

  
“Here, have this" he slid a glass of water to her "you were telling me you want to sell your apartment?"

  
"Oh right, yeah of course. So anyway...I was thinking I could sell my house and use that money towards a new place..."

  
"I see" he tried to mask the disappointment in his voice. 

  
"What I mean is...well I was hoping it would be _our_ new place...that is if you still want...I mean you don't have to feel pressured to just because I'm moving..."

  
His heart skipped a beat "Emma, what exactly are you saying?"

  
"Move in with me"

  
"W…what?" 

  
She laughed nervously "move in with me?"

  
He blinked twice just to check he wasn't dreaming. Her nerves were clearly displayed all over her face and he realised she had no idea what his reaction would be. 

  
He laughed in disbelief. "Nothing would make me happier, truly."

  
She blushed, "really? You'd be open to moving?"

  
"With you, absolutely! Tell me where and I'll make an offer tomorrow."

  
"Um...well I don't know where yet, I thought I could stay at your place with you until we chose somewhere and bought a place...together..." she shuffled in her seat uncomfortably "look Killian, I know you can afford to just buy a new place but I want to put the money I get from August towards it, I want it to be a home we've built together, something we've both contributed to..." 

  
He rose from his seat and walked over to her, helping her up to her feet "I think that's a stellar idea, love" 

  
He then led her out to the edge of the roof so they could look out over the city skyline. He had his blanket over his shoulders and stood behind her so he could wrap his arms, with the blanket around her letting his body hear keep her warm. She sunk back into him resting her head on the crook of his neck. 

  
He kissed her head, "this reminds me of the clearing in the woods you took me to after the aquarium with Henry, there was an endless sea of stars and I remember thinking none of them shone a light on you." 

  
She huffed, "I seem to remember you pulling away when I was trying to kiss you senseless."

  
He chuckled placing a trail of light kisses down her neck and along her shoulder. "I needed you to know I was in this for the long haul, that I was willing to wait for you and, god Emma, were you worth the wait!" 

  
She turned in his arms to face him, still in his embrace. "Thank you…I mean it, thanks for being patient with my heart."

  
He simply smiled in response and held her tighter. Eventually she twisted again in his arms so she could watch the view still smiling about what he'd said, the twinkling lights did mirror the stars and despite the temperature outside she'd never felt warmer. They didn't even hear Wendy arrive they were so lost in their moment, completely overcome with the sweetness of the scene playing out before her she pulled out her phone and snapped a shot of the loved up couple then tucked her photo he in her apron pocket and cleared her throat announcing her presence.

  
The pair looked up to her but didn't move, not ready to leave the comfort of each other's arms. Killian rested his chin on the top of Emma's head rocking gently with her in their blanket cocoon she had now taken over holding shut at the front while his arms curled around her waist.  He dropped his hand down by her side, his fingers brushing against her bare leg where the slit of her skirt was. It was the slightest touch but it sent a delicious shiver through her. 

 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt anything; if you guys are done I’ll clear this up and leave you to it.”

 

“Not a problem, love, we were just getting ready to head home” Killian assured her.  His voice was completely normal but his hand, under the cover of their blanket, was slowly creeping up Emma’s thigh getting dangerously close to whipping her into a frenzy.  She jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow trying to stop him before she embarrassed herself and Wendy.

 

“ouch!” He muttered, rubbing his rib with his wandering hand. “Bad form, Swan”

 

“Really? I’m the one with bad form here?”

 

“Perhaps we should finish this discussion in the comfort of _our home_ ”

 

“Sounds like a great idea” She leaned in enough to brush her lips against his.

 

March 20th:

 

 **@ENewsLive** : Sources say Killian Jones has bought a penthouse apartment on the Upper East Side.

 

 **@MrsKillianJones** :  Killian bought a new apartment! #lovenest

 

 **@EllianOTP** :  Hey isn’t Elsa’s apartment on the Upper East Side too? Coincidence…?

 

 **@ElsaArendelle_stan** : First we hear Killian and Elsa are working together, and then we find out its love songs, now he’s buying a second home #proofisinthepudding #toohotinthekitchen

 

 **@Celebgossip101** :  Rumours heat up about Killian Jones and Elsa Arendelle, but is there any truth to them? Listen to our podcast tonight to hear our thoughts.

 

March 21st:

 

They stood there panting, suspended in time, leaning against each other as they came down from there high. She was scared to let go in case her legs couldn’t hold her and if he was being completely honest he wasn’t sure he would be able to support himself without having her to lean against.  Their muscles ached but they didn’t care so they stayed there, Emma pinned against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist, his head resting on her heaving chest, both glistening with sweat.

 

“That’s the kitchen christened then”

 

Her chest began to shake as she giggled; planting a kiss on his thoroughly messed up hair. “I would certainly say so!”

 

He raised his head “Can you stand?” She nodded and he carefully set her down on the ground holding her until her feet reached the floor and he was sure she was steady.

 

“Who needs a gym?”

 

He grinned at her, “That’s the bedroom, bathrooms, living room and kitchen, just the two guestrooms and study left” His eyes twinkled mischievously.

 

“I don’t know how I feel about doing…that…on a bed we’re expecting our guests to use.”

 

“Who said anything about using the bed? We did perfectly fine without one in here.”

 

“You’re impossible.” She laughed, gently slapping his arm before walking towards their bedroom to find some clothes, swaying her hips as she went.

 

He followed behind her picking up a pair of boxers that had been discarded in the hall. 

 

“I don’t even know who we’re expecting to have over, all our friends live in the city.” She called over her shoulder as she fished a dressing gown out of her side of the closet.

 

“I dunno…I thought we could maybe have Henry over one night…how is he getting on anyway, I’ve been so busy between the restaurant and album I’ve not seen him in weeks.” Killian asked, pulling on some sweats and a white t-shirt.

 

“He’s been better, he’s still in the group home, we haven’t found a suitable foster family yet, he doesn’t love it there, some of the older kids have been giving him a hard time about his books, he puts on a brave face for me but I can tell he’s unhappy.” It’d broken Emma’s heart seeing Henry so miserable on her last visit.

 

Killian was thoughtful “Perhaps we could have him over this weekend?” he offered.

 

She loved how attached Killian had become to the boy, Henry adored him and she was thrilled he had a positive male role model in his life, someone who understood his struggles. “I think he’d like that, I’ll organize it all tomorrow at work.” Lifting onto her tip toes she kissed his cheek.  “I just want him to find a good home, somewhere safe and loving where he feels part of a family…” her voice wandered off along with her thoughts. She wanted the best for Henry but she knew it was rare for kids his age to be adopted, especially when they’d been in the system so long. 

 

“Well if you and Henry have taught me anything with all your fairytales it’s to believe in happy endings.”


	19. Chapter 19

“So what do you think?" Killian asked nervously; the room was silent and he'd suddenly become aware of the ticking clock in the corner almost keeping time with the song they'd just preformed. Elsa's fingers tapped nervously on the leather sofa where she sat beside him, the guitar she'd just been playing still resting on her lap. George King, their producer, along with several other label executives from Empire Records were all seated at a long table facing their direction and exchanged glances between one another that Killian struggled to read while Leeroy leaned against the wall ominously in the corner of the room.

He could hear the sound of Elsa swallowing beside him as she sat, literally, on the edge of her seat, excitement buzzed from her and it was almost contagious...almost. He wasn't sure that 'excitement' was an accurate description of what he was feeling; it was more like sickening tide rising and falling in the pit of his stomach. His eyes darted eagerly along each face in front of him. 

 

Mr King cleared his throat, "Well I'm sure I speak on behalf of all the ladies and gentlemen gathered here when I say..." he paused for effect and it was all Killian could do not to shake the rest of the sentence out of him "...I think we have a hit on our hands!"  He concluded triumphantly, the others nodding enthusiastically next to him, Elsa let out a squeal clapping her hands then grabbing Killian's arm.

 

"I told you it was amazing" she whispered. 

 

Killian finally allowed himself to relax, his shoulders dropped and]  
 a relieved smile spread across his face. The anxious swell in his gut turned into adrenaline, this was happening, it was really happening! After all these years Killian was releasing an album, or at least an album with his name on it under 'music by' and 'lyrics by'. He beamed at Elsa, who’d made it all possible. After months of long days, sleepless nights, the gruelling hours of balancing this with the restaurant and bar, not to mention the psychological exhaustion that comes with pouring your heart out and revealing parts of your soul on paper had left him weary.

 

"That's great, thank you so much" He shook each hand across from him, threw his arms around Elsa pulling her in for a bear hug and then collapsed back on the sofa shaking his head and chuckling in disbelief. 

 

"No, thank you, both of you! We feel really confident about this one!" One of the executives, a young woman with dark hair, bright pink lipstick and black rimmed glasses spoke up. 

 

"Once you find a male vocalist to record the duets then it will be ready to do the finishing touches and then we'll be good to..."

 

"What do you mean?"  George King interrupted Killian "We're keeping you on the tracks, people are buying into this album because of you and Elsa, there is already so much hype circling, not to mention the fact you both sound fantastic together!"

 

"W...wait, wait!" Killian looked between Elsa and the executives "I thought I was just playing a behind the scenes role on this...writing some of the songs and lyrics...it's Elsa's album, she should be the face of it"

 

"No, they're right Killian."  The petite blonde piped up, "you're such a big part of this album, it wouldn't feel right doing it on my own from now when we've come this far together." 

 

 

[]]But..."

 

"I don't want to hear it" Elsa squeezed her eyes shut shaking her head. "We do this together or it doesn't work."

 

Killian sighed, "Ok, if it's what Elsa wants, but I can't tour!" 

 

"That's not a problem" a different executive answered, "there are only two songs that are duets the rest Elsa is lead and you do background harmonies, we can use a recording of those for her tour and just leave out the two duets."

 

"But perhaps you could come to some of the closest gigs and surprise the fans with those two?"  She smiled sweetly.

 

"I could work something out...you're sure about this?" He asked Elsa quietly ignoring all the other in the room.

 

Her eyes sparkled back at him, "I've never been surer of anything! Your heart and soul has gone into this album, you've helped me grow as a musician through your mentoring, watching you work has been an education and I'll never forget it. Our fans want this, I want it too. I completely understand you not being able to tour. Besides, you wrote 'Horizon' for Emma, she deserves to see you sing it, not some other artist...the world needs to see love like you two share, it's beautiful and give all the

rest of us hope."

 

He blushed, "well when you put it like that..."

 

"Great!" George cried, "That's settled then! We'll organise some interviews for both of you here in New York and a press tour for you overseas, Elsa. We'll also need to have you guys shoot a few music videos, can you manage a couple weekends in LA to shoot the two you'd feature in Killian?"

 

"Aye, that should be fine."  It was beginning to sink in, George King continued talking but Killian had long zoned out, he felt transported back to his younger self with Leeroy excitedly telling them they'd been signed and putting them through their paces with studio time, interviews, photo shoots, music videos. Fans recognising them in the street, the hustle and bustle of the tour bus and then the tours themselves, the noise, the bodies jumping up and down to their music, the boom of the speakers shaking behind them, the heat from the pyrotechnics, eyes of fans fixed on him, surveying the crowd and then seeing Milah dancing along with a smile a mile wide...Milah...the car was rolling, her scream echoed as it turned over and over, everything becoming black. Killian suffocated in his thoughts and suddenly brought back by his pocket vibrating he jumped out of his seat and pulled out his phone.

 

"Killian, are you..." 

 

"I...I gotta take this". He interrupted Elsa, making a break for the door refusing to meet her concerned eyes.

 

The corridor was cooler and felt more open. He took a few deep breathes and answered the phone, sliding his back down the wall until he was squatting on the floor, his fingers shaking as he swiped across the picture smiling up at him

 

"Emma" 

 

"Hey! How'd the meeting go? Did they love it?"

 

His breathing was heavy and erratic.

 

"Killian? What's wrong?" 

 

He closed his eyes to try and calm the thoughts raging in his head. "I can't do this, love" there was pain in his voice that struck fear in her heart instantly.

 

"Where are you? Did something happen at the meeting?"

 

"It's just too much...I can't breathe"

 

It was then she realised he was having a panic attack. "Ok Killian listen to my voice, take a deep breath, I love you and I will come to you straight away! I'm on my way...just listen to me...whatever it is we will get through it together..."

 

"I need you..." 

 

"I'm coming, I'll stay on the phone until I get there, I'm right here with you...ouch!"

 

She hadn't noticed the man barrelling towards her when she started jogging causing them to collide and her phone fly onto the road just in time for a taxi to run right over it.

 

"Oh god, no!" She dove for it just as the human crash mat grabbed her with strong arms pulling her back from the oncoming traffic.

 

"Whoa Emma, whatever Pokemon you're hunting it's not worth dying for!" An all too familiar voice chuckled. 

 

She pushed him away instinctively rubbing her arms vigorously as if she could erase his touch. 

 

"What the hell Walsh! I have a restraining order on you, you can't touch me!"

 

"I was saving your life!"

 

"Don't ever touch me again! Leave now or I'll call the cops."

 

He glanced at the busy road, a line of steady traffic bombing over her phone, now reduced to a pancake.

"Good luck calling anyone on that..."

 

"I'll scream!"

 

He lifted his hands in surrender, "ok, ok, I'm not going to touch you, I don't want to hurt you I just need to talk..."

 

"I don't have time for this, Killian needs me!" She huffed, walking around him and carrying on her way hurriedly in the direction of the hotel she knew Killian's meeting took place.

 

"Killian? I thought he was seeing Elsa Arendelle now...so you're still together..."

 

She spun in her heel to face him, "yes we're together and you shouldn't believe everything you read" she hissed.

 

"Right, look Emma this is really important, we can't talk here..." he nervously looked around "it's about one of your kids you work with..."

 

Emma opened her mouth to spit out an insult and walk away but as his words sunk in she closed it again, none of this made sense, and Killian was having a panic attack every minute with Walsh was a minute longer before she could get to him. She shook her head in frustration letting out a gravelly "arghhh!" Then clenching her fists at her side walked up to her ex and said, "you have 10 seconds to tell me what you're talking about and then I'm leaving!"

 

"It's a kid you work with, one you’re close to..." Walsh blurted out. 

 

Emma felt the wind leave her "Henry Mills?" She whispered in a panic.

 

"Yeah, look I can't talk here but it's about him, please...” He shoved a crumpled bit of paper in her hand. "Here is the number to a burner phone"

 

"Burner phone!"

 

"I can't explain now but I have to leave town for a while, I need you to trust me, please Emma for Henry!" He looked over his shoulder then ran ducking down a side road leaving Emma stunned and slightly confused.

 

 

**

 

"Emma?  Emma?  Are you there?" A dark cloud of dread hung over him once he heard the tone signalling the phone had died. As quickly as his guardian angel had appeared she'd been snatched away and that glimmer of light, the breath of air flooding his lungs was being sucked out again. 

 

The door leading into the corridor flung open, "Killian, are you ok?" He brushed Elsa's tiny frame aside as he scampered to his feet.

 

"Emma, something's happened to Emma."  

 

A thin sheen of sweat covered his face and his whole body was shaking. 

 

"Killian..." she stood between him and the door "you're in no condition to be..."

 

"Killian!"  Leeroy joined them, and as soon as he saw Elsa holding his sweaty, panting, irrational friend back he knew what was going on. Killian was babbling Emma's name repeatedly.

 

"What's wrong with him?" Elsa cried.

 

"He's having a panic attack, here..." he opened a door into a small office, "sit him in there, make him comfortable and get him some water. I'll go make excuses to the suits in there and be right back. Don’t let anyone see him like this!"  He hurried back towards the conference room.

 

Elsa gently walked Killian into the dark room and just pushed on him enough to guide him down to the chair before she reached over and switched on a table lamp. He let her move him without protest and seemed oblivious to her returning to his side and quickly unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt, which was uncharacteristically buttoned to the top. He'd made an effort for the executives and for the first time Elsa realised this album was as important to him as it was her.

She'd taken a risk bringing on an artist who hadn't performed or even been mentioned in that field for 7 years. But to her it'd been worth the risk and she never doubted Killian's abilities, this concept was a dream come true for her and she'd staked everything on it. The thought hadn't even occurred to her that he'd put just as much if not more pressure on himself for it to succeed, but it had succeeded, the meeting went great, so why this reaction? 

She walked over to a mini fridge and opened it, pulling out a bottle of water and handing it to him. He nodded his head and took it. The shaking had subsided and his breathing returned to somewhat normal. 

 

"Would you like to talk about it?" 

 

Kindness pooled in her eyes, Elsa was wise beyond her years and it wasn't that Killian didn't trust her; he just honestly didn't know how to explain. He sighed, wracking his brain he searched for the words to describe dark hole he'd just fallen into but came up lacking. Emma would understand, of that he was sure and the thought just reminded him that he couldn't get a hold of her.

 

“I can't get Emma; her phone died; what if something happened to her?” He was starting to become frantic again.

 

“Hey, don’t do that, her battery probably died; I’m sure she’ll be fine.” She tried to reassure him.

 

Just the Leeroy joined them, “I told them there was a matter at the restaurant that required your prompt and immediate attention, and they didn’t even question it. We need to get you home though before they see you.”

 

Killian fought against Leeroy as he tried to get him up on his feet. “No, Emma said she was coming here!”

 

“You can’t stay Killian!” Leeroy argued.

 

Elsa jumped up to try and defuse the situation, “I’ll take Killian home, Leeroy can stay here and when Emma arrives he’ll let her know where you are.  He needs to stay here anyway to iron out the details of your contract.”

 

Killian reluctantly nodded in defeat and allowed Elsa to link her arm in his and lead him out.

 

**

 

The door flew open with the force of a tsunami, Emma burst into the apartment calling his name as she bombarded into the living room, only slowing when she saw him sitting on the couch in sweats, mug in hand an Elsa beside him.

 

“Killian!”

 

“Emma!” He started to get up but was flung back on the couch, knocked off balance by the force at which she collided with him, landing practically on his lap. Chuckling as he pulled back he cradled her head in his hand, his eyes dancing around her face just to make sure she was fine.

 

“Are you ok…” she was cut off by his mouth pressed against her. His arms encircled her waist squeezing her like a boa constrictor. At first contact his fears and anxiety began to melt away, she was here and if there was one thing Killian knew it was that he could overcome anything with Emma at his side. It felt as though their kiss barely began before she ripped her kiss bruised lips from his.

 

“Easy tiger we have company!” she glanced at Elsa; the poor girl was looking anywhere but at them and trying to slowly edge away. He didn’t care, resting his head against her forehead, he needed the contact. “You had me worried there Captain.” She whispered. She untangled her body from his and clearing her throat turned to the young girl beside them. “Thank you for bringing him home safely.”

 

“It was nothing; I just hope you’re alright Killian.” He hadn’t fully explained what happened to Elsa so it made sense for her to worry, she didn’t want him cracking under the pressure when the album actually dropped.

 

“Sorry again lass for worrying you.  It’s been a long week and it was a compilation of several things…it won’t happen again…”

 

“Just, be honest and tell me if at any point it gets too much or you need a moment, I’m here for you Killian, you don’t need to hide stuff from me, I’ll always be in your corner.”

 

“I know lass, and I appreciate it.” He gave her his half smile, knowing that she meant every word.

 

“Well I’m going to head home and get out of your way” she picked up her purse to leave.

 

“Wait, before you go..." Killian pulled out his phone. "Let's take a picture for the fans to celebrate our news. The executives would want us promoting."

 

"Sure" she flopped onto the couch next to him in the space next to where he sat with his arm draped on the back of the sofa. "Emma?" She offered.

 

"Oh no guys, this is your thing...plus I'm not sure I'm ready for my face to be all over twitter today" she laughed.

 

Killian snapped the selfie then quickly went onto twitter to post 

 

 **@TherealKillianJones:** It's official-we release our first single Sep 1st. We're ready, are you? #horizon 

 

"There, that should do it, bring on the fan hysteria!" He joked, then growing serious added sheepishly, "look Elsa, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to worry you..."

 

"It's ok" she smiled sweetly, "take it easy and I'll see you soon."

 

"Bye, lass"

 

Emma walked Elsa to the front door and when they were out of ear shot of Killian she rested her hand on Elsa's arm to get her attention and quietly spoke.

 

"I really meant what I said, thank you for bringing him home."

 

"Of course!" She hesitated then asked, "Is he really ok?"

 

"I think it was a panic attack, I used to get them, and they’re pretty scary...I'll talk to him, I just...I should have been there, I could have helped him..."

 

Elsa stopped her, "there was no way you could have known, he told me he hadn't had one in almost a year...he hasn't had them since meeting you has he?"  Emma shook her head. "You really do have a beautiful relationship...I'm sorry that some of my fans can be a bit..." She struggled for the right word.

 

Emma chuckled, "I know, and it's not your fault, I really appreciate you being a part of Killian's life, you've given him an opportunity to make music again and I can't thank you enough."

 

"I may have given him the opportunity but you gave him the inspiration, I can't wait for you to hear the single" she winked at Emma then left. 

 

**

 

 **@ElsaArendellelive:** @TherealKillianJones I don't know Jones, I'm not sure they can handle it ;) #horizon

 

 **@KillianElsa_truelove:** OMG first the pic of Elsa with her arm linked with Killian's walking into his house now this!! #dead

 

 **@EllianOTP** : pics of Killian and Elsa together outside and inside his house! She's right we can't handle it!

 

 **@KillianJonesgf** : If those aren't the faces of two people who have just had sex then I don't know what are!

 

 **@Elsa_Arendellestan** : the new single is called #horizon and being released in just over a month! IM SCREAMING

 

 **@killianslovesong** : finally we get to hear their music! #horizon 

 

 **@Ellian4ever** : I see a new celebrity couple on the #horizon  

 

**

 

Oblivious to the twitter frenzy Emma stole and glance back at Killian, engrossed in his phone, frowning at the screen. She instinctively plunged her hand into her pocket to pull hers out forgetting it was roadkill but her fingers came in contact with something else, she pulled out the paper Walsh had hurriedly shoved into her hand and looked at the number scribbled on it then back up at Killian.  Folding the paper she placed it back in her pocket and joined him again on the couch drawing his attention from twitter. 

 

"So are we going to talk about it?" The words softly left her lips, chased by an encouraging smile.

 

He sighed. "I feel foolish."

 

Her fingers carefully combed through his hair, tucking away the pieces that fell onto his forehead. "There's nothing foolish about a panic attack, what caused it? Did something happen at the meeting?"

 

He pulled her onto his lap where she snuggled in resting her head in the crook of his neck while his fingers traced circles on her back just below the hem of her sweater. He leaned his head to rest on hers and waited for their breathing to synchronise before he began.

 

"The meeting went great, they loved the songs, and they want me to sing on the album and feature in music videos and even perform at the NY concerts..." 

 

"That's wonderful."

 

"Aye, but it suddenly reminded me of what it was like being in the band, the crazy lifestyle, the hectic schedule...I know it will be different this time but once I started falling into my memories of that time I couldn't stop and eventually they led me to..."

 

"Milah" 

 

She could feel him nodding "before I knew it I was back there in the car, spinning, hearing her scream..."

 

Emma looked up stroking his face, "that must have been terrifying"

 

"I could feel the panic attack coming on, it's been a long time but I remembered the signs, I just knew I had to talk to you, that you were the only one who could make it stop...then your phone died and I thought something happened to you...what did happen?"

 

The question caught her off guard. "Um...well actually I was rushing to get to you and ran right into someone sending my phone flying into the road and I watched in horror while a car drove over it crushing it."

 

His eyebrows shot up along with the corners of his mouth "seriously?"

 

She giggled "you couldn't make that shit up!"

 

"No you couldn't! I'll order you a new phone and have it delivered today." 

 

"Thanks, I'm such an idiot, does stuff like that happen to other people?" She laughed. She wanted to tell him about Walsh, she really did, but with everything that had happened that day she didn't want to add to his stress so she left that part of the story out and grabbed the tablet on the coffee table and logged into twitter.

 

"Erm you might not want to do that, love..." it was too late. Emma scrolled through the hundreds of tweets declaring Killian and Elsa a couple. Her timeline was littered with the picture Killian had just taken with Elsa along with a fuzzy picture of Killian and Elsa walked arm in arm into their apartment. 

 

He watched carefully as her eyes darted down each tweet. Eventually she rolled them saying "they twist absolutely everything don't they!"

 

"I'm sorry, love. I wish I could protect you from it all, I did ask you not to avoid twitter when we started dating!" 

 

She continued reading but the comments got worse...Pictures of her and Elsa side by side with the caption 'Walmart vs Chanel', comments that Emma was looking rough or gained weight or looked old compared to Elsa and they used paparazzi pictures taken of her with no make-up and sweats and compared them to red carpet pictures of Elsa. Pictures of Killian and Emma next to each other but distracted by something or taking to other people and compared them to pictures of him and Elsa looking right at each other smiling with the caption 'a picture speaks 1,000 words' the list was endless. Even though she knew it was untrue it didn't make it hurt any less. 

 

"Emma..." 

 

"It's ok...wait."

 

She was just about to log off when she saw a new tweet from Elsa 

 

 **@ElsaArendelleLive** : Emma Swan is my dear friend. She and Killian have a truly blessed relationship. Please be respectful.

 

"I'll be damned" Killian muttered.

 

Emma smiled, "I knew I liked her."

 

"I wish I could make them see you the way I do." He admitted.

 

Emma shrugged, "they'll always see what they want to, right? Aren't you the one who taught me that?" 

 

"I'm touched you listened" he teased. 

 

"I can listen...sometimes." She protested.

 

"Just not when I tell you to stay off twitter." He challenged. 

 

Emma pretended to pout then a wave of inspiration washed over her. "But if I didn't know..."

 

"What?"

 

"If I didn't know how you really saw me...how would you show me?" Her lips curled into a wicked grin.

 

His lips parted slightly, starting to see where she was going with this his eyebrow darted up. "Just what are you asking me exactly, Swan?"

 

"I'm asking you..." she twisted on his lap until she faced him and leaned in closer until she dangerously close to drowning in his eyes, darkening with lust by the second "to show me."

 

In one smooth move he flipped her onto her back so he was hovering over her. She gripped the material of his hoodie pulling him down closer so she could feel him as their kiss grew more heated. That familiar burn of desire in her core rekindled; she released a moan as he abandoned her lips to instead plant a trail of kisses down her neck. 

 

"Hey guys! Um...whatcha doing?"

 

Both sets of eyes shot open, there was no mistaking that voice. They jumped apart faster than a bunch of teenagers being discovered past curfew. 

 

"Henry! Hey mate, what's up?" Killian blurred out in a forced upbeat voice. Mary Margaret stood beside Henry trying to hold in her giggles while Emma straightened up behind Killian readjusting her clothes. 

 

"I'm staying tonight? You didn't forget did you?"  The boy's face dropped, he'd been counting down the days until he could escape that group home for a night and stay with Emma and Killian.

 

"No no of course not!" Emma rushed over to give him a hug. "We just lost track of the time, the room's all made up and ready for you."

 

His face perked up, "what were you doing anyway?" 

 

"Yeah Emma what exactly were you guys doing?" Mary Margaret teased, enjoying the matching flush of red covering the couple’s faces. 

 

"Emma was just trying to get something from me..." Killian offered. Emma shot him the dirtiest 'what the hell, Killian, look. "...erm what I mean is she was trying to get something out of me..." oh god, that wasn't any better!

 

"What was she trying to get?" Henry's confusion would have been adorable if Emma wasn't wishing the ground would swallow her up, she definitely wasn't ready to have this conversation! 

 

"Well..." Killian tried again, much to Emma's horror. "She was trying to get...my secret recipe of course!"

 

"Is that what they're calling it these days?"  Mary Margaret snickered. 

 

Killian cleared his throat, "I could use a sous chef tonight, lad; do you think you could keep my secret?"

 

"Oh absolutely!" Henry squealed with excitement dropping his overnight bag and rushing into the kitchen, followed by Killian. 

 

"So you forgot he was coming?" Mary Margaret questioned Emma.

 

"It's been a....interesting day!" 

 

"It certainly looked interesting to me!" She teased.

 

Emma rolled her eyes and whispered "seriously, after all the times I've walked in on you and David in 'interesting' situations over the years!"

 

"What's for dinner anyway?" She ignored Emma's comment.

 

"Tacos" Killian shouted from the kitchen where he and Henry were banging pots and pans playing along to the radio. 

 

"He's been really excited about tonight, Emma." Mary Margaret said quietly. 

 

"He'll have a great time, honestly Killian has been excited too, and he loves having Henry round. It gives him a second chance to have a childhood." Emma smiled. "We'll take good care of him and drop him off tomorrow."

 

**

 

Later that evening while Emma was washing the mugs from their hot cocoa they had while roasting marshmallows on the fire and listening to Henry's stories she could here Killian putting Henry to bed. She listened in while she dried the dishes. Henry had asked for a story and Killian was recounting the adventures of the famous pirate Liam Jones with all the gusto and flare of a Shakespearean actor. 

 

She left them to it and tidied up the living room, replacing the cushions on the couch and closing the curtains. She stopped to look out over the city and thought about what Walsh had said. Was Henry really in trouble? How would Walsh know? It didn't make sense, was it just one of Walsh's tricks to get close to her? She took out her phone and entered his number just in case. 

 

She headed down the hall to the spare room and her heart swelled when she saw both Henry and Killian passed out asleep. It was a domestic scene she'd often dreamed of, but one she knew they would probably never have, still, it didn't hurt to take a moment and just pretend this was all real, and that this was their little family. She allowed herself to fantasise for a moment then walked over and turned off the lamp and gently shook Killian. 

 

"Hmmmm...mmm...sorry love...I must have nodded off, I'll come help you tidy up" he whispered.

 

"Already done. Let's get you to bed!"

 

"One track mind there, Swan!" He teased.

 

She snorted, "You better hope he's asleep!"

 

He got up and followed her out, casting a glance over his shoulder to take in Henry sleeping peacefully. "He looks so content"

 

She hummed in agreement. 

 

**

 

"So what do you think?" Killian asked nervously looking out at the horizon while he handed his sailing buddy a beer.

 

"What am I looking at?" David narrowed his eyes to try and see what Killian was talking about.

 

"The horizon"

 

"Is it supposed to do something?"

 

Killian chuckled, "no, but I find it always calms me."  It was just a month ago that he was sitting beside Elsa in that room full of studio executives and today he was just as nervous, if not more so! Not wanting a repeat of his attack he opted for a setting he knew he'd be comfortable in with his old friend the horizon to keep him calm enough to do what he needed to.

 

David cast a questioning glare at his friend. "Is there a reason why you need to be calm?"

 

"Well as it happens, mate..." He smiled not believing he was about to do this..."I have a very important question I need to ask you."


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the insanely long note here at the beginning but I feel I need to explain a couple things based on your reviews just so we are all on the same page.
> 
> 1\. Elsa and Killian's relationship is purely platonic, it is a friendship/co-worker/mentor relationship and there is nothing romantic there for either of them, the twitter commentary is just to show how things can be blown out of proportion or twisted when you don't have the full story and how those accusations can effect those involved. I have no intention of making this a love triangle, for the intention of this fic Killian and Emma love each other completely, something I hope will be beyond any doubt after this chapter.
> 
> 2\. Henry is not Emma's biological son, I said back in the earlier chapter when she confided in Killian about her past that she lost her baby in the prison attack. That is still true. Henry's birth date was Emma's baby's due date and she knew she was pregnant with a boy, that is what drew her to him. She is a childless mother and he is a motherless son.
> 
> Ok, now that that's cleared up, I hope you enjoy this chapter, no twitter commentary in this one but that will come into play again in later chapters.

It was the softest touch; the light pressure of his pillow-soft lips against her forehead, surrounded by the gentle scratch of his stubble. Deep in the furthest corner of her subconscious she stirred, aware of him there both in the physical world and in her half dream state. A small ghost of a smile graced her lips.    Emma would have continued in her blissful waltz in her castle in the sky were it not for his velvety voice pulling her into reality.  

 "Wake up, my love, you need to pack" 

 Pack? She played the words over in her mind confirming that was actually what he said; the pull of the morning finally brought her into wakefulness. 

 "Am I going somewhere?" She muttered in her sleepy voice he loved to hear. Slowly one of her eyes opened, followed by the other greeted by his deep blues staring admirably at her. 

 "Do you remember the first conversation we had that night at The Jolly Roger?"

 Now completely roused from her slumber but not any less confused about what was happening she propped herself up on her elbows. 

 She scrunched up her nose like an adorable bunny. "Yeah..."

 He couldn't help himself, he kissed her nose, making her giggle, and then continued. "You told me you wanted to travel; well we're going to Venice...today!"

 Slowly her eyes widened and the second his words sunk in she jumped up, blankets and all in a whirlwind of activity. "We're going to Italy?" She squealed excitedly, flapping around in the sheets trying to get free so she could hug him.

 He watched the comedic scene unfold before him without even trying to hide his laughter. It seemed the more she thrashed her arms to try and escape her Egyptian silk web the more entangled she became. 

 "A little help, please!"  

 Chuckling, Killian slowly unwrapped his girlfriend and tucked the hair that had flopped in front of her eyes in the struggle back behind her ear. 

 "So...I brought you some coffee but we leave for the airport in 2 hours so you better pack!" 

 She shook her head; this had to be a dream. "Pinch me"

 "What?" 

 "Pinch me, I think I'm dreaming!"

 He chuckled, "Emma, I'm not going to pinch you. But...there are other ways to prove you're awake..." he licked his lips hovering like a wild cat just biding his time and then with a wicked glint in his eyes pounced on her peeling her shirt up to reveal his prize. Her protests faded almost as soon as they came, making way instead for gasps of pleasure as he kissed his way down her stomach leaving his hand at her breast as his lips captured her between her thighs. 

 

30 minutes later she was sprawled on top of him; both glistening with sweat, both panting.  

 "This doesn't prove I'm not dreaming, I have dreams like that all the time!" 

 Pulling back with a teasing look of surprise he jeered, "Oh do you now?"

She blushed burying her face in his chest. "there’s no point hiding now, love, not after that confession...or after what we just did..." he raised himself up on his elbows forcing her to roll onto her side looking up at him, the blush had faded but was still present on her cheeks. Reaching down he kissed her forehead before jumping out of bed pulling on some boxers and picking up her untouched coffee cup. "And now you only have an hour and a half to pack, I'll get you a fresh cup!"

 

**

 (16 hours later, Venice, Italy)

 

They walked hand in hand along the Venetian street.  Soft accordion music filtered out from a nearby restaurant, the gentle lullaby of a gondolier drifting along the canal beside them created the perfect soundtrack to the setting sun casting a golden hue on the city. Emma felt as though she was walking in a fairytale, the steady click of her heels on the stone ground the only proof that she wasn't back in their New York apartment, still wrapped up in their king size sheets having the most magical dream. 

 "So what do you think?" He let go of her fingers choosing instead to wrap his arm around her shoulders. 

 "It's like nothing I've ever seen before."

 He gave her shoulders a squeeze, grinning like an excited schoolboy "follow me" he gently tugged her by the hand leading her down to the water were an empty gondola was floating with its gondolier waiting beside it. He paid, muttered something in Italian and turned back with a charming smile, signature wink, and held out his hand to her. 

 "Come on, love, let’s sail away"

 She sunk deep against his chest as the little boat sailed down the canals chasing the sunset. It was a quiet night, the fact it was off season meant that the canals were mostly empty, just the occasional fellow gondola gliding by. Killian’s arm wrapped tighter around her.

 "Are you happy, Emma?" He whispered in her ear.

 "It's so beautiful here, I love it." She sighed happily. 

 She could feel him smile against her cheek as he planted soft kisses. "I mean are you happy with us, with our life together...do _I_ make you happy?"

 She spun to face him, surprised to see a fragment of uncertainty in his blue eyes, always stormy, always dark and brooding even during his best of moods. 

 "Of course! I've never been happier." 

 His face instantly lifted, pleased with her reply. 

 The gondolier steered them down a secluded canal, the sounds of the city were mere whispers on the warm evening breeze. Killian cleared his throat and after a reassuring squeeze slid his arm back from Emma and scooted to the left putting enough distance between them so he could turn to face her without upsetting the gondola too much. 

 "I want to ask you something Emma, but my question comes with a promise." 

 She looked at him curiously, unsure of where he was going with this. 

He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head to the side his eyes full of hopefulness mixed with nerves, he looked adorable and she couldn't help but smile back

  “Ok...now I'm intrigued" 

 He took that as a positive sign but he knew this could be difficult for her; he had a plan for that. It was now or never. He cleared his throat while he scratched behind his ear.

 Emma reached over and grabbed his hand "it's ok, ask me." She encouraged.

 "First the promise; before I ask you this I want you to know that I promise to accept your answer. If you say yes I will make it my life mission to make sure you never regret it. If you say you're not ready yet then I will be patient, even though there is no doubt in my mind this is what I want, because if I have learned anything over this past year it's that you, Emma, are worth the wait! And if your answer is no then I promise to love you in any capacity that you will allow me to, be that from afar, as your friend, as your lover, or as your partner, do you understand?" 

 Emma swallowed hard "I think so. What's the question?" She whispered hoarsely.

 The air was thick and full of anticipation. If the gondolier heard the conversation he certainly gave no indication of it looking straight ahead guiding the boat further away from the city centre.

Killian looked deeply into her eyes hoping she could see the honesty and pure adoration and love he felt towards her. He gave her his small nervous smile, the one that didn't have innuendo or flirting or bravado to hide behind, the one that was the real Killian, walls down and vulnerable, the one Emma loved most. 

He clumsily shuffled round, rocking the boat slightly until he kneeled in front of her. Emma gasped now sure of what was going on. 

 "Emma Swan will you marry me?" 

 

**

 

(NYC harbour 3 weeks earlier)

 

David cast a questioning glare at his friend. "Is there a reason why you need to be calm?"

 "Well as it happens, mate..." He smiled not believing he was about to do this..."I have a very important question I need to ask you."

David scrunched up his face, confused. "Ask away"

"You're the closest thing Emma has to a father, she thinks of you and Mary Margaret as family at least...I feel...I mean...I want…shit, why is this so damn difficult!"

"Whatever it is Killian, you can trust me."

"I know, I just...it seems words fail me when it comes to Emma." He shook his head 

David bit back his smile, Emma was like a daughter to him and he had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going and had every intention of making it as unbearably uncomfortable for Killian as possible. 

"Yeah words don't do her justice, But then Mary Margaret have always known few things are worthy of our Emma." 

Killian looked bruised, but not beaten, by the remark. The two men drank in silence for a moment, the atmosphere gradually becoming more tense and awkward and just when David was beginning to feel bad and about to apologise for giving him a hard time Killian spoke up again.

"She has been such a blinding light in my life, there has been so much darkness, loneliness, selfishness, and loss that sometimes if feels like I can't possibly be the same guy, that guy didn't get to experience this kind of love, he didn't deserve this level of beauty and goodness." 

David looked up from his beer completely in awe of the raw poetic honesty coming from Killian's mouth. 

"I can't quite believe how lucky I am that she waking into my life that day. Everything changed for me...I don't really know how to explain what she means to me...how she’s changed me for the better" a frustrated sigh escaped his lips billowing through the chilly morning sea mist.

A sly smile crept up David's face. "Actually, 'mate', I think you've explained it perfectly.” He imitated Killian’s accent. Then becoming serious again said, “ I've never liked any of the guys in Emma's life, Neal was a bad influence who cared only about himself, a punk kid who crushed her heart in ways..." he tried to find the words but just shook his head angrily.

 "Aye Emma told me about her time in prison and the baby..."

"She did? Wow." David rubbed the back of his neck, "She's never told anyone other than Mary Margaret and I about that!" Silence took over again while the weight of that truth hung over them both. Finally David took a swig of his beer and turned back to Killian.

"Neal and Walsh were first class...what is it you say again, _wankers_!"  Killian chuckled and David continued, "Before you and Emma were even dating it was clear to Mary Margaret and I that you were different, you put her needs first, looked after her, but gave her space at the same time, and you always followed her lead with the relationship. You took the time to get to know her family and friends; you took the time to get to know her before...well...the relationship evolved..."

Killian smirked as he sipped his drink, he always found a strange sense of pleasure at how his and Emma's physical relationship made David so uncomfortable. He may only be a few years older than him but sometimes he could really be an old man about things. 

 David coughed awkwardly, "What I'm trying to say is, we're really thankful that Emma has you in her life, and we already think of you as family." 

The chef's smirk disappeared and his eyes widened at the weight of David's admission. 

"Does this mean I get the secret recipe for your stuffing?" He joked.

David snickered, "I'll think about it! I'm still waiting to hear what you have to ask me." He prodded.   
"Aye, that..." his finger shot up to scratch behind his ear yet again. ”This might seem a bit old fashioned but...well we all know under your chiselled jaw and infinite collection of flannel shirts and leather jackets lies a very very very very traditional old man..."

"Hey, watch your mouth, son!"

"My point exactly...anyway, I've brought you here because I would very much like to ask Emma to marry me and it would mean the world to me to have your blessing to do that."

He wanted to torture him, to wind him up as payback for Killian's teasing, he wanted to make him sweat under a detailed interrogation; these were all the things David had always planned to do when Killian got round to asking, because let's face it, it was only a matter of time! However in that moment after hearing everything Killian said about Emma there was nothing David could do but grin like a fool and throw his arms around his future son-in-law and mutter "welcome to the family"

"She hadn't said yes yet!" Killian chuckled.

  


**

 

(Venice, Italy, 3 weeks later)

 

Emma tried to take in her surroundings; it was sensory overload and she was lapping it all up! The sight of the last rays of the sun painting the stone buildings, the smell of pizza kissing her nose, the sound of music and laughter mixed with the gentle splash of water each time a gondola glided past them along the canal, and the soft caress of the evening breeze coupled with the firm, secure, and comforting grip of Killian's fingers laced with hers as they walked together. 

 She felt like an excited kid when Killian stopped so they could go on a gondola, she had just been about to ask him if they could, of course he'd planned to all along! Emma couldn't remember the last time she felt so at peace sitting there lazily watching the world go by, her head resting on the shoulder of the man she loved. No phones ringing or people flooding into the apartment, no busy New York traffic they had to navigate to get to each other, no business meetings or crisis at the drop in centre or late night calls from Mary Margaret about a new child joining; just the two of them alone together...perfect bliss.

 Her thoughts were interrupted by his voice, his words were gentle but what surprised her most was the unexpected insecurity behind them. And then when he clarified, "...do I make you happy?" 

 Those five words, loaded with meaning and emotion caused her heart to both swell and break at the same time. She'd never known a love like his and the fact he could even question her happiness dumbfounded her.

"Of course, I've never been happier!"

 Somehow it didn't seem enough to her, how could she explain the impact he'd had on her life, the confidence he'd given her, love he'd showered on her, kindness and understanding he'd shown her, all while becoming her best friend, most loyal supporter, her lover and her shadow. This was the eloquence she was lacking, but then words were never her strong suit, that was Killian's forte, but thankfully her feeble reply, which she found so inadequate, seemed enough to convince him. 

 There was something still there on the tip of his tongue, she could sense it, words unspoken...she watched him scoot away, confused by the sudden distance he was creating between them, then he turned around and began to speak and what he had to say she would remember for the rest of her life.

 "...Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

 

**

 

(4 days earlier)

 

"I don't know what surprises me more, the fact you actually cooked dinner or the fact that it tastes so good!"  

 Emma rolled her eyes at her foster mother’s remark.

 "I told you, Killian has been teaching me how to cook, I mean, who better to learn from than a Michelin star chef, right?" 

 "I could weep with pride."

 "You're ridiculous" 

 "So how are things with Killian, we haven’t seen him in a while?" Her mother asked, while helping Emma clear up the plates.

 "Great! I mean he has been really busy this summer with the finishing touches on the album, shooting music videos, doing promotion...this part of the process has been the most demanding of his time."

 It was true; Killian had just flown to L.A. two days earlier and would be there for the better part of the week doing the rounds on talk shows, radio interviews, and appearances with Elsa. 

 Emma refilled their wine glasses, "he comes home on Friday and then the single is released on Sunday."

 "Wow, it all sounds so...hectic"

 Emma shrugged. "That's life with Killian Jones!" 

 Mary Margaret eyed her daughter then said carefully, "where do you see you guys? You have this beautiful home you’ve built together; you've been in a relationship for almost a year...are you happy?"

 "You mean do I want more?"

 Mary Margaret nodded.

 "I don't know...I love Killian and I love our life. I accepted Walsh's proposal because I thought that was just what you did, you found someone you could stand to live with and when they asked you said yes and then you wouldn't be alone...but this is so different...I was always looking for the next thing with Walsh, the next commitment, some sign to prove that we were supposed to be together, that he loved me and I loved him. With Killian I don't need a sign; our life together is my proof. I just have to look at him and I know he loves me, we're happy and I don't feel that panic or pressure that I need more, I already feel like he has given me more than any guy before him."

 Mary Margaret smiled knowingly. "You've found your soulmate, Emma"

 Emma laughed, "Well whatever you want to call it, I'm happy." 

 "I'm not going to rush you two, you need to do things in your own time and its difficult when Killian is so busy but I'm thrilled you've found someone who treats you well and who obviously loves you so much. I'm sure down the line you'll, settle down get married and have children of your own..."

 Emma froze but Mary Margaret didn’t notice and continued. 

 "...you'll be such great parents, just look at how you both are with Henry.

 "Yeah..." Emma muttered.

 She hadn't thought about it since she told Killian she couldn't have children months ago. Back then he had said he didn't care, that he wanted her anyway. What if that changed? Killian had never been part of a family before, his closest thing to it was Liam and that ended so tragically. All she could give him was herself, but he deserved so much more. She imagined him cradling a baby, singing it softly to sleep, flipping pancakes with kids at his feet excitedly cheering him on with each toss. She pictured him brooding when a teenage boy appeared to take his daughter out on a date, scowling with his arms folded warning him not to keep her out too late. She imagined him sailing with a young boy with dark unruly hair like him, fishing together and playing pirates. This was a future she could never give him and that realisation rested in her gut like a ball of lead. 

 "Emma?"

 "Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts there; it's been a long day."

 "Well I'll let you get to bed, thanks again for dinner!"  Mary Margaret gave her a hug then left.

 

 

**

 

(Venice, Italy, 4 days later)

 

"...Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

 

Her world stood still.

 

He looked at her nervously, and she met his eyes. 

 The moment their eyes locked she knew; they weren't perfect, in many ways both were lacking but together they were complete and this was all she would ever need, Killian was more than enough and she'd spent the past year studying those eyes and was expert enough to know that was pure love shining back at her. Despite what she'd believed most her life, she was not nothing, she was never nothing, to Killian she was everything. 

 "I will!"

 The joy on his face was brighter than the evening sun and forgetting their surroundings completely overcome in the moment they lunged for each other upsetting the gondola so much the gondolier was almost launched into the canal. All they could do was giggle while he angrily ranted at them in Italian then realising what had just happened between the couple shrugged it off and chuckled shaking his finger at Killian with a knowing wink.

 "Oh I almost forgot!"  He fumbled around the inside pocket of his black leather jacket pulling out a small wooden box. "It wouldn’t be much of proposal without a ring" he handed the box to her.

 She carefully opened it, gasping when she saw the platinum solitaire diamond ring with four smaller diamonds holding it up until the high delicate setting. It was stunning in its simplicity and perfect for her taste. 

 "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" She cried, "Can I put it on?"

 He laughed, "of course, love, it's yours!"

 He beamed as he proudly slid the ring into her finger. 

 "It's perfect" she whispered watching the light bounce off the jewel, casting a kaleidoscope of colours on their faces. 

 He lifted her hand to inspect it then brought it to his lips giving her knuckles a kiss and grinning at her. 

 She gazed back at him lovingly and then suddenly remembered something. 

 "Killian, it's Sunday, you're single was released! We need to call Leeroy and find out how it's doing!"

 He shook his head. "I don't care, I wrote it for you, as long as you like it's a success as far as I’m concerned."

 She blinked back the tears, "You wrote it for me? Well maybe you should actually let me hear it then!"

 "As it happens, love..." he gave her a wink, "there is a guitar waiting for us back at the hotel, I had intended to give you a personal performance...but if you'd prefer to listen to it on the radio and for me to be trapped on the phone with Leeroy for the rest of tonight..."

 She stopped him with a kiss.

"A private performance sounds perfect! Isn't Leeroy going to be calling you anyway?"

 A sly grin crossed his face. "My phone is switched off and Leeroy doesn't even know I've left the country!"

 Emma chuckled, "oh he is going to kill you..."

 He leaned in and whispered "he has to find me first!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a link to the ring that inspired hers, its called a Swan Solitaire, just picture it platinum instead and a slightly bigger diamond ;)  
> http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/swan-solitaire-engagement-ring-by-vatche-310.htm


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have patiently waited for this so I have given you an extra long chapter, 6,500 words to be exact so I hope you enjoy and the next one wont take so long, I promise! 
> 
> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

Killian was jolted awake with the force of the plane landing on the runway, quickly glancing at Emma he smiled to see her still peacefully snoring with her head almost completely engulfed in her feather pillow. The sun bounced off the runway, he squinted his eyes to look out of the tiny plane window. A part of him was sad he'd slept through the descent into city; he loved the New York City skyline especially in the early morning sunlight. 

 

He reached over to gently shake Emma awake. "We've landed, love, we're home"

 

"Mmmm?" She groaned, slowly sitting up to reveal bed hair that could only be described as an architectural feat. 

 

Stifling his laughter he carefully smoothed down her hair, "I said we're home" 

 

"Home" she murmured. She loved the way the word caressed her lips. It wasn’t a new addition to her vocabulary but somehow since moving in with Killian the word gained so much more meaning. After an exaggerated stretch she rubbed her eyes. "Thank god no one knows we were away, I must look horrendous, although I have to say the whole long haul flight thing really wasn't as bad as people make out!"

 

"It's a bit different in economy" he chuckled, "and you could never look horrendous" he quickly added planting a quick kiss on her lips. 

 

As the plane slowed to a halt he pulled out his cell phone, "well I suppose I should probably turn this back on" 

 

No longer had he turned his phone on and set it on the tray than it started vibrating constantly, Emma and Killian looked at each other and then back as the phone shuffling its way across the tray with all the messages and notifications until the vibrations sent it toppling onto the floor.

 

"Maybe I'll wait until we get in the car to look through all that!"

 

**

 

It took them less time than Emma expected to get through security and collect their bags. She reached into her purse and pulled out a large silk scarf she loosely wrapped around her neck and a pair of big sunglasses. Killian followed suit with a beanie hat and sunglasses before they exited baggage claim hand in hand walking happily until they came face to face with a human wall of paparazzi and fans shouting excitedly while snapping pictures left right and centre of the couple. 

 

_"Killian how does it feel being number one?"_

_"Did you always plan to propose on your release date?"_

_"How did he do it Emma?"_

_"Did you get down on one knee?"_

_"Killian, does Elsa know?"_

_"Is Elsa invited to the wedding?"_

 

_“Go on, show us the ring!”_

 

Emma squeezed Killian's hand tighter as their relentless questions were fired at them with the speed of a semi-automatic rifle. She wanted to hide, or curl up in a ball until the noise and flashes stopped. The familiar tightening in her chest returned and then on cue her breathing became erratic. Without skipping a beat Killian wrapped his arm around her drawing her closer and gave a small wave to the cameras, "no more pictures please" he asked politely, not that it made any difference. Finally security showed up and cleared a path for Killian and Emma to make their escape to the car. He opened her door first helping her into their Cadillac Escalade before throwing the cases in the trunk and jumping into the driver’s seat. 

 

Emma was breathing slow deep breaths with her eyes closed and after one long breath she opened her eyes grinning at him apologetically.

 

"That was intense!"

 

He released a relieved chuckle, "aye, that's an understatement! Are you alright, love?"

 

She nodded. "It was really overwhelming but I'm starting to get better at handling it." She let out a groan when she pulled down the sun visor and looked in the mirror "but why do they have to always take pictures of me at my worst?" 

 

He took her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss "Here's what we're going to do; I’m going to drive us home, run you a bath and pour you a glass of wine and you're going to rest and enjoy a last moment of peace before the world impedes anymore on our lives." Playing with the engagement ring on her finger, he moved it around and watching the diamonds catch the light. "I'll catch up on everything, give Leeroy a call, and we'll just lay low today." He finished with a wink. 

 

"Sounds like a plan, take me home Mr Jones."

 

"As you wish, Swan"

 

**

 

Once Emma emptied the last contents of their suitcase she hauled the empty bag across the room squishing it back into the dark corners of her closet. "Until next time" she sighed, looking once more at the stamp in her passport before storing it away in her top drawer. 

 

"Let's not make it wait as long to be used again." His arms wrapped around her waist hugging her from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder.  "Your bath is ready" the whispered words tickled her ear sending a shiver down her spine. She bit down on her bottom lip, how was it possible to still want him this badly. 

He smiled into his kisses down the side of her neck acutely aware of the effect he was having on her and it was worth the torture he was putting his own body through.

 

"It feels like you want to join me?" She said slyly, feeling his body react to hers and finding satisfaction in the fact that Killian was still just as affected by her. 

 

"I wish I could" he lamented. "But I think I've tortured Leeroy for long enough...oh and I checked my texts when you were unpacking...'Horizon' is number one in 20 countries!"

 

Emma spun around to face him. "That's incredible Killian!" She squealed, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing like a boa constrictor.

 

"Ok, ok" he chuckled and spluttered, "Can I live to see my wedding day please"

 

"Sorry" she blushed loosening her vice grip. "I'm just so proud of you"

 

"I couldn't have done it without you." He cupped her face in his hand, and then sighed. "But I really do have to go call Leeroy, he's about to have an aneurism!"

 

She giggled into his hand. "Yes, please put him out of his misery! I was going to go see David and Mary Margaret today; I don't want them to hear about our engagement from anyone else!"

 

He frowned, "I don't want you trying to leave here where there are photographers and reporters outside; it's not safe."

 

"They're my parents, I can't tell them over the phone!" 

 

He knew she was right. "I tell you what, love, invite your parents over for dinner tonight and we'll tell them ourselves. Hopefully by then most of the reporters will be gone and the ones that remain won’t know who they are and might think they’re going to a different apartment in this building." 

 

"Ok" happy with the compromise she agreed and kissed his cheek before heading for her bath. In the distance she could hear Killian grovelling on the phone with Leeroy in the living room. 

 

_"I know mate, I'm sorry....”_

_“Because I wanted it to be a bloody surprise, didn't I....”_

_“I had finished all my work..._

_“How many times do I have to say that I’m bloody sorry..?"_

Emma chuckled at what she could overhear; she didn't envy Killian having to talk his way out of this one! Despite the luxuries of first class travel she still felt as though the recycled plane air clung to her body until she peeled off her clothes and slipped into her bubble bath. Her muscles slowly began to relax as the heat worked its way in, breathing in the vanilla spice bubble bath she sank deeper into the bath resting the back of her head on the rim.

 

She stole a glance at her ring, a habit she’d formed overnight, it seemed no matter what she occupied herself with her eyes always found their way back to its sparkling jewels and as a result had been smiling more than the Cheshire cat. She’d played Killian’s words over and over in her mind so many times she’d memorized them, her own personal memory she could bring back on demand and relive whenever she wished.

 

Just before her fingers began to wrinkle in the bath she decided to reach over and check her phone. There were only a few messages; one from Ruby with a link to an online article speculating their engagement along with, in typical Ruby style, a short, sweet, and to the point text,  **_“WTF!”_**. Emma rolled her eyes; she’d call Ruby after she’d had a chance to speak to her parents. There was also a text from Mary Margaret asking if they’d arrived home safe and another more recent one saying Killian had invited them over and they’d be round at 6pm. She quickly typed out a reply saying she couldn’t wait to see them.

 

Checking her call history revealed 13 missed calls from an unknown number, she had no idea what that was about, and other than that she hadn’t missed much. Next she logged into Twitter to see what people were saying about Killian and Elsa’s song. He’d sung it for her in Venice and when she realised she’d been the inspiration felt as though her heart had swollen five times its regular size.  It was the most touching thing anyone had ever done for her and the fact that the world obviously loved it too just made it better, in a funny was it felt as though Killian’s fans finally accepted her as a part of his life; although the moment her timeline came up she realised she’d been premature in that assumption.

 

 **@elsakillianstan** : OBSESSED with #horizon just watched the music video, could Killian be any more in love with Elsa?

 

 **@elsakillianstan** : Ew just saw he’s apparently engaged to uglyduckling – is that real?

 

 **@elsajonesOTP: @elsakillianstan** ikr! If he is then he is settling, it’s so obvious he wrote #horizon for elsa!

 

 **@killiansbabe** : OMG is killian really engaged?

 

 **@mrskillianjones:** Don’t tell me killian is off the market #devastated tbh I really thought this chick was a cover for his and Elsa’s relationship

 

 **@HeyElsa** : Is it true? Is Killian engaged to the convict chick?

 

 **@KillianJones** _ily: #horizon is song of the year! I love it as much as Killian loves Elsa!

 

 **@EllianTrueLove** : I am going to be seriously pissed if these rumours are true. Who does uglyduckling think she is?

 

 **@Killiansbabe: @EllianTrueLove** legit thought that he was just with her for show, she is a complete charity case!

 

 **@Ellian_everafter** : Killian Jones and Emma Swan leaving JFK this morning – god she looks rough!

 

 **@elsakillianstan: @Ellian_everafter** omg she looks homeless lol!

 

 **@mrskillianjones** : honestly though what does Killian see in her? She’s not even pretty.

 **@Killianmybf** : But why would he marry her? He knows he can have any woman right?

 **@EllianIsReal** : Ew but Emma Swan is so ugly

 **@KillianJonesfan** : Am I the only person that is happy for him? Show some respect guys!

 **@Ellian_everafter : @KillianJonesfan** we ship Ellian so we have every right to be angry.

Emma couldn’t read anymore. She switched her phone off, fighting the urge to throw it across the bathroom floor; Killian had only just recently replaced it after all. All feelings of happiness and relaxation were now a distant memory. She climbed out of the bath and wrapped the huge fluffy towel tightly around herself. She tried to push it out of her mind, Killian had been over this with her before and she knew she should ignore it, they were just trolls, strangers who didn’t know her or Killian, just some fantasy they’d created in their own minds. These were all the things she knew in her head but that didn’t stop her heart hurting at what she had just read. The words cut as deeply as if they had said them to her face.

Blinking her eyes rapidly to chase the tears away she took a deep breath. She wanted to call Ruby, her friend always knew how to cheer her up and she’d probably be straight on twitter taking down each troll one by one but she couldn’t talk about the engagement until she’d told her parents.  Her parents – one of Mary Margaret’s legendary hugs wouldn’t go a miss right about now. Emma looked at the clock, only 1:30pm, she had hours to wait. She kept telling herself that it shouldn’t bother her this much but her tears betrayed her logic so she quickly wiped her cheeks.

“I was just coming to warn you not to…”

Her head whipped round at the sound of his voice; he stood casually leaning against the doorframe, but as soon as he saw her watery eyes he straightened up and moved towards her

“…Ah, but it looks like you already have…here…” he picked up her fluffy dressing gown and held it out to her.  She shrugged out of her towel and slid her arms inside tying the belt tightly around her waist while he gently rubbed her arms.  Once it was tied he held out his hand to her, “come with me?”

She gave a weak smile accepting his hand and allowing him to lead her into their living room. The TV was turned on; a picture on Venice filled the screen. Killian collapsed onto the couch pulling her down so she landed on his lap.  She leaned back until her head rested against his shoulder and his prosthetic dragged up her leg resting on her thigh.  He kissed her head then lifted his tablet to control the TV.  


“I put the photos from our trip up here, I thought David and Mary Margaret might like to see them, but I think we should have a private screening first, what do you think?”

She nodded contentedly and watched the slide show, fondly remembering their trip. Killian had put his song ‘Horizon’ as the background track for it and without realising Emma was humming along.

“I know it’s a bit cheesy but this trip was about us and so is the song so I thought it fit…” Killian apologised, turning a deeper shade of pink.

“It’s perfect” whispered Emma.

It turned out Killian was a pretty talented photographer; it made sense, he seemed to be good at anything creative, be it writing a song or presenting a dish. He had this incredible way of making even the most ordinary things look beautiful, from an old shop sign, to cat walking along a rickety wall, to two old men playing cards at a table. But the subject he seemed most talented in showcasing its beauty was without doubt her. 

 

She hadn't even noticed he'd been taking pictures of her but he'd managed to capture her candidly and Emma had to gasp at how beautiful she looked in each picture. She looked relaxed and happy and full of life. Despite the fact she wasn't looking straight towards the camera you could still catch the laughter in her eyes. She curled closer into Killian by means of silent thanks as they watched the rest. The final shot was one she did faintly remember him taking, though she never imagined it looking that scenic. It was a shot of them kissing, Emma's hand rested on the side of his face showing off her engagement ring, shining brilliantly in the natural light of the setting sun. They were off centre in the shot and behind them the ocean laid peacefully, and the horizon drew its line perfectly across the centre of the backdrop. 

 

"Wow" said Emma.

 

"I just thought you should see yourself through my eyes" 

 

Emma smiled then turned to face him, her eyes nervously dancing around his face anticipating his reaction to what she had to say. "Marry me Killian?"

 

"I...yes...love, we've been through this..." he held up her ring finger laughing.

 

A nervous giggle escaped her lips she then licked them and with a deep breath explained. "I mean, marry me now. I don't want to wait; I want to be your wife now."

 

"Emma, are you sure? I don't know if I can pull together your dream wedding in hours!"

  
She pressed her forehead against his "you are my dream, Killian"

  
"And you're mine".

 

His lips captured hers with no thought of ever setting them free again. All thoughts of what the faceless haters said online melting away with each caress of Killian’s thumb on the small of her back while he delved deeper into their kiss. Emma had never felt more loved. They should really stop, there were so many things to discuss, details to iron out, and phone calls to make, but neither of them seemed able to release the other.

 

Instead he lowered her onto her back on the couch beside him. She quickly untied the belt of her dressing gown then opened it, her eyes dark with want, slowly unwrapping his gift for him as his jeans tightened painfully.

 

“God, Emma”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want to wait for the wedding night…I can just close this up again…” she teased him mercilessly, starting the close her dressing gown again.

 

His hand shot out grabbing hers stilling it before she could tie the belt. “Don’t you dare” said Killian between gritted teeth.

 

Emma’s lips curled up, her tongue brushed her lips and her eyes narrowed, she knew she had him now, “Or what Captain?”

 

“Or I’ll make you walk the plank, princess”

 

“Oh it’s princess now?”

 

“Aye it is”

 

She pushed him back so he was kneeling on the couch facing her and she rose up on her knees, gown flowing open, and she unzipped his hoodie “You know, if I’m a princess that means you have to do what I say” She was lifting his white t-shirt over his head, met with no obligation, revealing his ridiculously toned torso decorated with a chest of black hair.

 

“Ah but that’s the thing about pirates, we answer to no crown.” He played along, enjoying their little game.

 

She laid her hands on his shoulders and then scrapped her nails down his chest making him inhale sharply.

 

“What if I made it worth your while?” Her fingers got to work unfastening his belt and unbuttoning his jeans.

 

He kneeled there at her mercy, his erection now near excruciating and she had him so near relief but not quite, she stroked the back of her hand up it as she made her way to the zip and despite his best effort he couldn’t withhold a groan.

 

“Something the matter, Captain?” she teased.

 

“Not at all lass, I’m just keen to get started.”

 

She pulled down his zip, slightly relieving his discomfort, and stood up, and turning around with her back to him she shrugged off her gown letting it pool at her feet then walked towards their bedroom, hips swaying seductively and called over her shoulder, “I’ll be in the Captain’s Quarters”

 

His jeans were off in record time, followed quickly by his socks and boxers.  He walked into their bedroom bare of everything but his swagger and increasing desire. Emma had always been turned on by his confidence and today was no different. As he stood naked at the end of their bed where she lay matching his lack of clothing sprawled out looking every part goddess with her long golden curls cascading down her breasts. 

It took every ounce is self-control on his part to stand his ground. "You said something about making it worth my while princess?" He cocked his eyebrow suggestively, his eyes roaming all over her alabaster skin. 

 

Propped up on her elbows she smirked. "Come claim your reward, pirate" 

 

**

(The next day)

 

"Wait a minute! You're telling me while there are thousands of girls who would give their left hand, pun intended, to sleep with Killian Jones  you are blessed with having him on tap and instead you pretend he's someone else?"

 

"Not someone else, just us in another lifetime or something...it was a one off, like a game...playing for grown-ups, anyway it was hot as hell!"  

 

Ruby leaned forward in her chair smirking. "So how exactly does the pirate seduce the princes?" 

 

"Ha! That is privileged information...besides who says it wasn't the princess doing the seducing?" Emma winked at her friend.

 

"I'm impressed Emma, a year into relationship and you're still keeping it spicy, I've obviously taught you well!" sitting back in her chair she eyed her friends suspiciously "I can see why he put a ring on it..." 

 

Emma blushed, "I'm so sorry you found out before I could tell you Ruby! We had no idea anyone in Venice recognised us, let alone took a picture of my ring."

 

"It's ok, I get it, speaking of which,  get those gloves off and let me see it!" 

 

Emma looked around  Starbucks, she and Ruby had secured a small corner table in the back upstairs, it was the middle of the afternoon and there was only an elderly couple about 5 tables away from them currently engrossed in a crossword puzzle. Deciding it was safe she slipped off her glove and held her hand out for Ruby's critique. 

 

"Oh Emma, it's beautiful! It's so you! I mean I would want something I'd dislocate my wrist trying to wear but that's me, this is perfect for you...wow, he really nailed it didn't he?" 

 

"Yeah" Emma grinned like a love sick fool, "he knows me well...and does August know you're expecting the Crown Jewels?" 

 

Ruby shrugged, "he finished his book, his publisher is really happy with it."

 

"That's great Ruby!" Exclaimed Emma. 

 

"Yeah he is going to take a couple months off before starting his next project."

 

"I'm really happy for you both Ruby, this is the most settled I've ever seen you."

 

Ruby shifted uncomfortably in her chair, turning a deeper shade of pink and holding back her smile. "Yeah it's all good."

 

"Ruby...you love him, don't you?" 

 

"We're not here to talk about me!" Her friend laughed. 

 

"Of course we are!" Emma fired back throwing an empty sugar packer at her friend. 

 

"Ok yes, I love him, I'm happy, and god help me I'm into all that mushy relationship stuff like going to brunch, posting selfies on Instagram, wearing matching clothes...hell, we might even get a puppy!" 

 

Emma bit down on her lip, she'd never seen her friend like this before and she couldn't be happier for her.

 

"Ok, stop smiling at me like that, it's freaking me out! Let's get back to you and your sexy pirate!"

 

Emma snorted her coffee. Just then her phone started to vibrate on the table.

 

"Unknown number" Ruby read the screen.

 

"I get them all the time, I never answer; it's probably reporters or something like that."

 

"So when's the big day?" Ruby managed to steer things back to Emma's love life.

 

"We just got engaged Ruby!" 

 

"I know, but you must have at least started thinking about it." Her friend prodded.

 

"First I have the engagement party to organise! Are you and August free on Friday night?" Emma asked coyly.

 

"I'll make sure we are! Where is it?"  

 

"It's actually going to be upstate, far from the city; there is a secluded old hotel we've hired for the evening. I'll text you directions."

 

**

 

"You ready to go, love?" Killian carried their cases to the door. 

 

Friday had finally arrived at a snail’s pace for Emma. A week of keeping their secret was taking its toll on her, all she'd been asked at work was how Killian proposed and if they had a date. But by far the hardest to keep in the dark were her parents, Mary Margaret was in full wedding fever, showing up at her desk every day with more wedding magazines; that day had been the worst as she started asking Emma about colours so she could start looking for her outfit. She hoped her parents would forgive their decision and understand why they made it. 

 

"Emma?" 

 

She looked up at her fiancé standing waiting for her 

 

"Is everything ok? We don't have to do this if you don't want to, it can just be an engagement party, no one would know."

 

She shook her head, "no that's not it; I want to do this, I just realised we're getting married, oh my god Killian, we're getting married!"

 

"Aye" he set the cases down and walked to meet her "next time we're here we'll be husband and wife." 

 

"Husband and wife" she repeated his words trying out how they sounded. The two of them stood there awkwardly like two giddy teenagers looking at each other and grinning foolishly. 

 

Emma's phone interrupted their mutual daydream, she pulled it out and rolled her eyes "damn unknown number again! You don't think anyone knows do you?" She asked nervously.

 

"How could they? We are the only two people who know." 

 

"You're right, I'm just being paranoid."

 

"Emma Swan"

 

She looked up at him, "Yes?"

 

"Will you marry me?" Killian held out his arm for her to take.

 

"I've already said yes!"

 

"I know, I just love asking you and after tonight I can't because you'll be a married woman...it wouldn't be appropriate."

 

"You're an idiot" laughed Emma. "But ask as many times as you want, my answer won't change." 

 

"I desperately want to kiss you right now" he confessed before leaning down pressing his lips to hers, she hummed opening her mouth to deepen the kiss. She breathed him in, well aware that this would be their last private moment today. She tuned into all her senses, the taste of coffee on his tongue, the smell of his aftershave, the touch of his hand in her hair gently massaging her head, the sound of his heart beating and finally she opened her eyes and saw his closed eyes with his long thick eyelashes touching the top of his cheeks before opened to look back at her. "Marry me Emma" he whispered.

 

She playfully dug her elbow into his ribs, "we have to get there first, come on fiancé let's go to the car." 

 

**

 

They pulled up to a house in the Hamptons, it was more secluded from its neighbours nestled behind a cluster of pine trees with silver birches filling in the gaps Emma could barely see the house at the end of the long drive lined with Rose bushes. Killian rolled down the car window and typed a code into the alarm system and the massive iron gates opened allowing them to drive in. 

 

"This isn't the hotel you showed me" Emma pointed out as they walked through the front door.

 

"No love, this is where we're staying tonight, I thought you could get ready here?"

 

"It's beautiful." She looked around the large open plan living area that looked onto a secluded part of the lake. 

 

He scratched that place behind his ear, "I'm so glad you like it." 

 

It made her heart melt that where they spent their first night as a married couple meant so much to him, especially when their wedding was so last minute. He seemed really nervous and excited and she was relieved it wasn't just her heart doing backflips. 

 

"So you got Archie?"

 

"Yeah, he's coming, he thinks it's for the engagement party but I have everything printed out for him to read."

 

"I guess we're lucky your therapist is also registered to officiate weddings."

 

"Aye, so Swan..." he intertwined his fingers with hers, "...I'll send David for you, and next time I see you…”

 

“We’ll be getting married.” She finished his sentence for him.

 

Emma had never seen Killian look happier than he did the moment she uttered those words. It wasn’t often that Killian Jones was speechless but in this instance he could only smile, his face emulated love and Emma found herself completely overcome with emotion blinking back the tears. He gave her a nod, reassuring her that he felt the exact same, and then he kissed her hand and stepped back slowly until he reached the door, threw her another smile and left. Emma wasn’t sure how long she stood there grinning at the front door but when she finally broke free of her love fuelled trance she decided to first explore the house a little and at least decide which room they should stay in.

 

Downstairs was mostly taken up by the huge open plan living area which included a cosy corner with a fireplace, built in floor to ceiling bookcase, filled with books, a loveseat, and two oversized brown leather chairs, there was a thick rug on the floor and navy cashmere throw blankets draped over the chairs.  Next to that area was the living space, the outside wall was completely glass looking out onto the lake, Emma noticed it was a perfect frame for the sun setting over the water, beyond which the mountains towered over them. There was a large cream corner sofa with light blue cushions and a smaller light blue sofa with matching cream cushions, a wooden coffee table and large brown leather beanbag. Emma looked around realising there was no TV and the seats faced the glass wall, however on the coffee table was a complicated looking remote control. She picked it up and studied the buttons trying to make sense of it then giving up just decided to press each one and see what happened. A whirring noise sounded when she pressed the first and blinds started to close over the glass wall, next button operated the lights, the third caused another noise she couldn’t place until she looked up and saw a flat screen TV slowly lower from the ceiling.

 

“Now that’s fancy” she muttered.

 

Continuing her tour she found a large top of the range kitchen and dining area with patio doors that led out to an outdoor living area complete with table, chairs, mini bar, grill, and Jacuzzi. All that remained downstairs was a study, double garage, and two bathrooms. Upstairs were two more bathrooms, a kid’s room, decorated for a boy; pirate themed. She smiled thinking she should suggest Killian stay there. Next were two more double rooms and finally the master bedroom, as soon as she entered it the breath was knocked out of her. There was a California king bed facing another glass wall that looked over the same scenic view the living area did, though it looked even more spectacular from the higher viewpoint. There was another reading corner with more books and two matching overstuffed chairs, similar to the ones downstairs. Another door led to the most impressive walk in wardrobe Emma had ever seen, thought it was completely empty. This was without a doubt her dream house. 

 

Satisfied with her exploring she opened her suitcase and garment bag and began to get ready for her big night.

 

**

 

“Hello”

 

Emma heard David’s voice downstairs. “Just coming!” she called out before rushing down stairs with her heels in her hand.

 

“Emma…you look…”

 

She laughed at her foster father’s reaction. Setting her shoes on the floor she slipped into them and gave a twirl. She was wearing a white Grecian style, one shoulder, flowing dress that moved with her body in a way that made her look almost angelic, highlighted by the braided crown on her head.

 

He walked towards her and kissed her cheek, “You look beautiful Emma, if this is you now I can’t imagine what you’ll look like on your wedding day.”

 

“Thanks David” she beamed.

 

**

 

When Emma arrived everyone was in the main hall of the venue.  Fairy lights covered the ceiling giving the effect of a starlit night, there were cocktail tables dotted around the edge of the room and stage at the far end with the curtains drawn.  The moment Emma arrived a jazz quartet began to softly play “At Last” the people in the room started to look around; some catching a glimpse of her.

 

“We should probably find Killian, he must be somewhere” muttered David and just then the curtains opened revealing an archway covered in orchids with Archie Hopper standing underneath it with Killian at his side. Killian’s eyes locked on Emma’s and suddenly time stood still.

 

“Emma what’s going on?” David’s voice tore her away from Killian’s love struck gaze.

 

“Don’t you think you should walk your daughter down the aisle?” asked Emma, her eyes twinkling.

 

“What…you mean…now?” He gulped.

 

“David, hurry up!” Mary Margaret whispered not-so-quietly, catching on to what was happening faster than her husband seemed to.

 

Straightening up David held out his arm for Emma and walked her in time to the music towards Killian. By the time she got to him she could see his eyes were red raw with emotion and she couldn’t hold back her own tears. Archie kindly handed her a handkerchief and then began.

 

“Dearly beloved you have been gathered here today, by Killian and Emma, as their closest friends and family to witness their marriage.” A wave of excited whispers filled the room…

 

**

(The next day)

 

“Good morning Mr Jones” The sweet sultry voice penetrated his dreams, teasing him of a waking world that was now better than anything his dreams could offer.

 

“It’s bad form to keep your wife waiting…” Even semi-conscious his body reacted to her voice, his lips curling up, soon followed by his heavy eyelids, blinking their way into wakefulness.  Her face hovered over his; framed by her golden hair, falling in loose curls from the braid it’d been in the night before.

 

“Mrs Jones, you’re a vision.”

 

“And you’re a shameless flirt!”

 

“I will never apologise for flirting with my wife!”

 

“Good” She hopped up from the bed, “I’m making us breakfast”

 

He propped himself up on his elbows to watch her happily bound out of the room. Slowly climbing out of bed he stretched and walked towards the window pushing a button on the wall the blinds slowly opened and he looked out at the water. It was time to tell Emma what he’d done and despite being sure she’d be happy he couldn’t help but feel a nervous knot form in his stomach.

 

Once downstairs it didn’t take him long to find Emma serving up pancakes and bacon onto two plates. “Here, you take these and I’ll grab the coffee.”

 

He followed her to the dining table and sat beside her. After a few mouthfuls of maple syrup soaked breakfast he asked, “So what do you think of the house?”

 

“I’ve never seen anything like it!” Emma confessed, “I’ll be sad to say goodbye to it, it’s like a little slice of paradise.”

 

“What if you didn’t have to say goodbye?” he asked carefully.

 

She set her fork down on the plate staring directly at him, “What do you mean?”

 

He cleared his throat, “I um…well I own this house, actually we own this house…I thought it would be good to live out of the city, somewhere we could have some privacy and just live our lives away from the spotlight, so I built this house. It’s my wedding present to you. As long as you like it, if you would rather live in the city and not have to commute then I’ll understand.”

 

Emma took a moment to allow the words to sink in. “You built this for me?”

 

“Aye”

 

She looked around her in disbelief, suddenly it was obvious, the décor, the layout, the books, the stunning views and feeling of being fully immersed in nature in the part of the world Emma had such fond memories of camping with her family…this house perfectly catered to Emma and Killian.

 

“It’s a big house for two people…” she noted.

 

He glanced at her hopefully.

 

She smiled, “The kid’s room upstairs, that’s for Henry when he visits us isn’t it?”

 

“It can be…but I was hoping it would be for our kid”

 

Emma stiffened, this was the last thing she wanted to hear from Killian their first morning as a married couple.  “Killian…you know I can’t give you a child” her shoulders dropped.

 

He leaned in, “But what if you already have?”

 

Her brows furrowed “What do you mean?”

 

“You brought Henry into our lives and well…I’ve grown rather fond of the lad and he seems to like us too. He’s living in that group home holding onto the hope that he’ll be adopted one day…what if we adopted him?”

 

“Adopt Henry?”

 

“He already knows us and feels comfortable with us, we have the means to provide for him and out here he would be away from the public eye…it was just a thought.

 

She sat in silence thinking over his answer, not that there was much to debate. Emma loved Henry, they’d had an instant bond that had just grown over time and she knew Killian liked him a lot but now it was clear, this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision, this house would have taken months to build, months before he’d even proposed.  He, Emma, and Henry being a family had been part of his plan all along, he wanted to prove he was serious and could care for them and he had really thought of everything.

 

“You think we can do it…be parents?”

 

He reached his hand out for her to take hers. “I have every faith in you when it comes to being a mother. Can I be a father? God I hope so, I will make mistakes Emma, it will be on the job training but I promise I will always put you both first and do everything I can to be the father Henry deserves, and the partner you deserve.”

 

She took one final look around her at their new house then turned to Killian, “I’ll start the adoption process as soon as we get home on Monday…let’s bring Henry home.”

 

**

(8 weeks later)

 

Killian walked hand in hand with Emma into social services. After weeks of interviews and paperwork, and a few last minute tweaks on the house they were finally coming to collect Henry to take him home. 

 

“I’ll just fetch him for you” said a kind nun who worked there; they watched her leave, the clicking of her shoes echoing through the building, gradually getting quieter.

 

Once she left the room Killian wrapped his arm around Emma, “Well…how does it feel?”

 

“Pretty damn good to be honest, I’m just ready to go home and officially be a family.”

 

“I’ve taken a few weeks off work; I thought I could go on some hikes with the lad this weekend, maybe build a fort out back…” He was interrupted by the clicking sound returning but faster and frantic. Killian felt it in his bones, something was wrong.

 

The nun ran back into the room, terror stricken and out of breath, “Henry’s gone!”


	22. Chapter 22

Killian felt his heart drop to his stomach, hoping to God he’d heard her wrong, he felt panic creep over him, and his skin tingled as bile rose inside him. Somewhere in the distance he heard Emma speak with a shaky voice. 

"What exactly do you mean, he's gone?" Emma questioned the woman.

"I...I checked the room he was waiting in and he's not there..." 

"Maybe he went to a different room?" Emma offered trying to tame her own panicked heart.  

"Yes...I'll get some help to check." The frazzled woman turned and ran towards the office." 

"Wait" Emma called out, "which room was he supposed to be in?" 

"Second right down the hall" she called out behind her and without a second thought Emma set off. 

Killian was barely aware that his feet were carrying him after her, he tried to calm the anxious tide engulfing him; he needed to keep his head.  

When he caught up to Emma she was standing next to a table and toppled over chair holding a backpack and a large cuddly shark.  

"Is that..?"  

Emma nodded determinedly, "Henry wouldn't leave this." 

"So what are you saying, he was taken?" The colour drained from Killian's face.  

"I'm saying we need to call the police, now!"

 

**

 

(1 hour later - Police station)

 

"So you were adopting Henry and the day you go to pick him up he disappeared, did he know you were adopting him?" Graham sat across his desk, an assortment of paperwork, empty coffee mugs, unused evidence bags, and random notes cluttered it to the point that Emma wondered how he could solve where he left his car keys let alone where her son was!

 "Yes he knew" she sighed.  

"I have to ask if there is any reason you think he might have run away." He prodded.  

"Listen, mate..." Killian hissed between gritted teeth, "...I don't know what you're insinuating but Henry wasn't trying to get away from us!" 

"It's true." Emma added, placing her hand on top of Killian's prosthetic as a sign of unity. "Henry was excited about coming home with us, you can ask any of his key workers, we have a great relationship with him, we asked him if he wanted to join our family and he..." Emma stopped as tears pooled in her eyes, squeaking out the last few words "...he was so happy." 

Killian clenched his jaw trying to keep his own tears at bay, then his whole body tensed when Graham’s hand reached over the desk, scattering his paperwork even more, and rested on Emma's other hand.  

"I promise I will do everything I can to find your son, Miss Swan, but I have to rule out every possibility." 

Emma pulled her hand back. "It's Mrs Jones, and believe me, if he ran away he would have taken his backpack with him!" 

"Emma...Mrs Jones, with all due respect you can't know that for sure"  

She pushed back her chair and stood up towering over him. 

"With all due respect to you detective, I do. I grew up in group homes and the foster system, you learn to live with very little when you're constantly being uprooted and moved around but what little you have is precious to you, it's the only consistent thing in your life, they are your only possessions so you keep them close to you at all times so they aren't lost or broken or stolen. You want to question how well I know him. I can tell you right now in that bag is an old battered copy of Peter Pan, the pages are frayed and swollen because he's read it so many times, there's a picture of him, Killian, and I at an aquarium he uses for his bookmark. There is an iPod Killian and I bought him for Christmas, there is a notebook filled with stories he's written and a tattered pirate pencil case along with a small wooden sword, a pack of Pokémon cards, and the tag that was around his ankle at the hospital when he was born. That backpack and his shark Killian got him the first day they met are Henry’s most prized possessions. If he ran away he would have taken them with him."  

 Graham nodded his head. "We're forwarding Henry's picture to train and bus stations here and the surrounding states. We're also canvassing a mile wide radius of social services and I'll personally be watching their security camera footage along with the cameras around the area. I suggest you go home and stay by the phone, in case Henry comes back."  

"So that's it?" The words acidly dripped from Killian's lips, "Just go home and do nothing?"  

"I'm afraid at this point there is nothing else you can do; if...I mean _when_ something arises we'll let you know"   

The metal legs of Killian's chair screeched as he push it back to stand up, his eyes, oceans of anger, board into Graham's head. Emma took his hand and slowly walked with him towards the door.  

"Emma" The detective called out. 

She stopped and turned to face Graham. 

"I will find your son"  

Offering a half smile and single nod she turned back and followed Killian out of Graham's office. His footsteps echoed as he marched angrily down the police station corridor. She hurried until she caught up and grabbing his arm she made him stop and burl round to face her. His jaw was tense, his eyes, angrier than she'd ever seen them, had finally failed to keep the tears in. His cheeks were damp and the moment she saw him her own tears fell.  

He wasted no time drawing her into him, clamping his arms around her, supporting her body as she collapsed finally allowing the severity of their situation to sink in. The shock and adrenaline had worn off leaving them just with two broken hearts. He knew her pain; he felt every stab to her heart, every rip to her soul in equal measure to his. They loved Henry to their core and the day they'd been waiting for, the day they could finally bring him home, he'd been cruelly ripped from their arms. He made no effort in trying to stay strong now it was just him and Emma, no walls and no secrets.  

"I promise you Emma, we'll find him." 

"How?" She sniffled. 

He took a step back and rested his hands on her shoulders, looking solemnly into her eyes. "We figure this out ourselves, I have an idea..."

 

**

 

Emma helped Killian bring steaming mugs of coffee from the kitchen of their New York City apartment over to the crowded table. Emma handed the cups round to David, Mary Margaret, August, Ruby, Tink, Leeroy, and Elsa.  

"So what is the plan, Killian? I know you and I know you've brought us here for more than just support." David, not being one for beating around the bush got straight to the point.  

"Have the police said anything about Henry's disappearance?" Tink asked eagerly. 

Killian reached for his laptop and started working on it, seated next to Emma at the head of the table, as Emma looked up at her friends and family and taking a deep breath addressed the table.  

"So you all know that Henry went missing this morning. The police are looking into it, but we know that children go missing in New York City every day, Henry isn't their only case and they aren't even convinced that he didn't run away." 

"That's awful!" Mary Margaret exclaimed, "There is no way Henry ran, he was so excited to go home with you today! You guys are everything to him." 

Emma blinked back her tears and swallowed, "we don't believe he ran either, that's why we called you all here, Killian is right, the Police have a lot on their plate, Henry can't be their main focus, but he can be ours!"  

"Tell us what to do" Leeroy growled with determination.  

"We all have something different to offer, we need to brainstorm a plan of action, but first we need to be on the same page." Killian turned his laptop around to show everyone the social services building on google earth. Pointing to the side of the building Killian said, "This is the room Henry was sitting in. Emma and I arrived at 9:45 AM. We entered through the main entrance and reception called for him only to find him missing. The window to the room he was in was open so that must have been how they took him. He left his things behind and there appeared to be a struggle." He tensed at his own words, his hand involuntarily forming a fist as the thought of someone being forceful with his son.  

"Killian and I could use our social media? Put Henry's face out there, millions of people would see his face and then there's the RT's people all over the country would be looking out for him?" Elsa offered.  

The table hummed in agreement until August chipped in, "That could backfire...if it got out that it was Killian's child people could take advantage, they could find him and demand money for his return..." 

"I'd gladly pay it!" Killian blurted out. 

"He's right" Leeroy agreed, "you don't know what crazies would do if they had your son. No one knows he is your child yet, that might be a good thing." 

"Better than having hundreds of thousands of eyes looking for him across the country?" Killian lamented, fully exasperated.  

"What if you could still use your followers without telling them he is your son?" Asked Mary Margaret. 

"She's right." added David, "you did that charity event a few months back and that was highly publicised, your fans know you support the group home Henry was in, it'd make sense for you to want to help with a missing child...and it would make sense that Elsa, as your friend would want to get involved too..."  

Killian nodded.

 "Whatever I can do to help, I'm in" said Elsa. 

 "You know, I know the chief of security for the hotel across the street from social services" piped up Tony, "I could ask him to check their security cameras for anything suspicious that morning?"

 "We'd really appreciate that, Tony!" Said Emma. 

"If what you're saying is true and Henry was taken, then we're missing out the most important part of the story..." it was August's turn to speak, "why? Why Henry? Why that day and that place? It is very risky kidnapping a child from social services so what was the motive...who has reason to take Henry? Was there any indication that he could be in trouble or in danger?" 

Suddenly time stood still, Emma felt sick, the voices around her faded away as the colour drained from her face and her palms became sweaty, how could she have been so careless, how could she have forgotten? He'd warned her...months ago... all those unknown number calls...it was him.

"Emma?" 

All eyes were on her, she tried to speak but her tongue felt like sandpaper. "Walsh" she whispered the name, her eyes closing as realisation mixed with dread set in. 

"Walsh?" Tink repeated back. 

"Emma..." Killian eyed her, his words were slow and cold, "is there something you're not telling us, something you've not told me?" It seemed impossible, why would his wife keep something from him, especially if it had to do with their son? 

She slumped into her chair, her head in her hands shaking. Was this really Walsh? Could he really sink this low? She felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Her mother's voice pierced her dark fears like a ray of sunlight.  

"Emma, talk to us, what did you remember?" 

She looked up at her friends, purposefully avoiding Killian; she had to get this out before facing him. 

"A while back Walsh approached me on the street and warned me about Henry, that he was in trouble...I thought he was just making things up to talk to me, he gave me a number for a burner phone and I thought he was crazy. I never called him and then I forgot about it." 

"And you just decided it wasn't important to tell me that your unstable ex, who has threatened you before, accosted you in the street and threatened Henry?" Killian questioned her sardonically  

She wanted the floor to swallow her but she mustered up her courage to finally look to Killian with pleading eyes and say, "can we not have this conversation now?" 

David cleared his throat, "let's get back to what can help us now, you said he told you Henry was in trouble...did he elaborate at all or say how he knew?" 

Emma shook her head "no, just that it wasn't safe to discuss there and that I should call him." She looked at the concerned faces around the table, no one dared say it but she knew what they were thinking. "I know this looks bad now but try to understand, at the time I just thought it was another trick of Wash’s to get close to me. I checked that day and Henry was fine, there was no indication that he was in any sort of trouble, after a few weeks I forgot about it, I forgot about Walsh. If I thought at the time that there was any truth to his claim I would have acted on it, you have to believe me!"  

"Of course you would have" Mary Margaret consoled her "Walsh has done nothing to suggest you can believe anything he says. No one blames you Emma." 

As comforting as her mother's words were she couldn't help but notice the absence of reassurance from her husband, deliberately looking away from her. 

Apparently oblivious to the awkward atmosphere August was still deep in thought.  ´Emma did you say Walsh gave you the number to his cell?” 

Emma nodded. 

“Do you still have it?” he asked still deep in his own thoughts. August must have been the only person in the room not acutely aware of Killian staring intensely at Emma waiting for her answer. Squirming under the scrutiny of his glare Emma nodded once again. “If you give it to me I know a guy who may be able to find Walsh” 

“You know a guy?” Killian raised his brow sceptically. 

“Probably better the less you know about it” replied August ambiguously. 

Tink suddenly had a thought, "Ruby, you still work at Gold's coffee shop, have you seen Walsh recently? Do they still have the restaurant together?"  

"I haven't seen Walsh in over a month." Explained Ruby, "As far as I know they still have the restaurant...I could go tonight, I have keys, Gold doesn't usually come by on a Friday night, maybe I could have a look around his office and see what I can find...he keeps it locked though..." 

"I can help you with that" for the second time that afternoon all eyes were on Emma who shrugged off her comment, "I was a troubled youth"  

"I don't know if I like that idea..." Killian finally spoke again, "of Gold is somehow involved it could be dangerous...you don't understand what he is capable of...I'll go with you." 

"No" Emma countered, "he hates you, there would be no reason for you to be there, I'm Ruby's best friend, if he does show up it makes more sense that I'd be there." 

Killian nodded reluctantly. 

There was a buzz in the room, everyone knew what they had to do and after agreeing to keep in touch if any of them found any new information they dispersed going their separate ways, Elsa and Killian staying at the apartment to work on their social media and while the others set to work. The atmosphere was still tense between Killian and Emma, the others picked up on it too and while they began to filter out the apartment, sensing they needed a moment alone Elsa excused herself to go to the bathroom while Ruby took August's hand and pulled him towards the door to wait for Emma outside.  

They stood for a few seconds in silence, Killian wanted to reassure her but he felt hopeless himself, he wanted to tell her it was ok but he couldn't while he was still wrapping his head around her keeping him in the dark about the Walsh situation. He was hurt and angry but, God, if he didn't love her and crave her embrace to still his fears for their son. The mix of emotions resulted in his body just staying there frozen, words evading him. Emma felt her heart break.  

Finally she spoke, "look, I know you're angry and I can't fault you for that. Just know that whatever blame you place on me for Henry's disappearance, however much you hate me, I blame and hate myself more." 

And before he could reply she's turned on her heel and left the apartment.  

When Killian walked back into the living room Elsa was sitting waiting for him having refilled their coffee. She watched him, the past 6 hours had taken its toll on him physically, his shoulders slumped, his eyes were red and tired, and his face sunken.  

"Killian I can't even imagine what you and Emma are going through but I do know you need to cling to each other now more than ever. You're stronger together..."  

Killian held up his hand to silence her, he couldn't have this conversation now, perhaps Elsa was right but Emma had kept this from him and right now to only way to block out the hurt and betrayal of that was to focus on getting Henry back, his safety was the most important thing right now. 

"I know you're trying to help Elsa...but..." he released a sigh "let's just get the message out." 

"Do you have a recent picture of Henry?" she asked, trying to break the tension in the room. 

"Aye, I have his school picture on my phone." 

"Great! Well if you post first then I'll share it and write my own."

"Ok, that makes sense" 

 

 **@therealkillianjones:** Henry Mills went missing this morning from 97th St Social Services. Any info please call police! 

 **@mrskillianjones:** OMG that's so sad hope they find the kid!  

 **@i_stan_killian** : spread the word, let's find this kid! He must be from that group home Killian supported in Jan. 

 **@killians.future.wife:** aw that's so sweet and so sad, I hope someone recognises him and calls.  

 **@ElsaArendelleLive:** RT **@therealkillianjones** If anyone has seen this boy please contact the police!  Let's bring him home safe!  

 **@elsakillianstan** : does your OTP ever? Working together to save children- this ship sails itself!  

 **@mrskillianjones:** look at my children working together to save children! That’s my OTP! 

 **@KilliansBabe** : OMG guys RT, let’s find this kid! 

 **@elsajonesOTP** : My favs are so in sync, even saving children together! 

 **@mrskillianjones:** seriously though guys RT! Someone out there could help! 

 **@EllianTrueLove** : Doesn’t his fiancé work there? So she loses a kid and Killian has to try and clean up after her. ffs. 

 **@killians.future.wife** : **@EllianTrueLove** So there is a missing child and instead of RTing and raising awareness you’ll be hateful and disrespectful to Emma? #classy 

 **@EllianTrueLove** : **@killians.future.wife** Ew who even are you bitch? Get out of my mentions! 

 **@KillianJonesFan** : **@therealkillianjones @ElsaArendelleLive** RTed! Praying they find him!

 **@KissMeKillian:**   **@therealkillianjones** ILY! Please notice me!

 **@Killian_jones_child:** **@therealkillianjones** Marry Me!

 **@Killian_no1_fan** : **@therealkillianjones** ILY

 

Killian looked up from his phone, “This is a bloody waste of time!” 

“Henry’s picture is out there now, our followers will RT, it may help, it certainly won’t hurt…you need to have faith Killian, Elsa tried to assure him.

 

**

 

Gold’s Coffee shop stood sleepily in the midst of the city night life bustling around it, dark and still it hid in the shadows, lifeless amd quiet. It was perfect for Ruby and Emma to search undetected. Ruby quickly unlocked the front door with her shop key and ushered Emma inside, keeping the lights off they quickly walked across the shop floor to the door in the corner marked ‘staff only’, unlocking it Ruby led the way through and down the hall to Gold’s office. 

“I don’t have a key for this door” 

“Here, allow me…” Emma approached as Ruby stood off to the side. Slipping a bobby pin from her hair she quickly got to work on the lock, her ear pressed against the door. “It’s all in the tumblers” she muttered and within moments there was a click and the door swung open. 

Emma felt as though she had walked back in time, the room was otherworldly filled with antiques and random bits and bobs littering shelves and display units. Emma, momentarily distracted by the trinkets and trophies slowly walked around the room trying to take it all in, A trophy cabinet in the corner lured her in, the shelves were filled with little league baseball trophies, A closer look revealed the name ‘Neal’.  

“Hey, Ruby…does Gold have a son?” asked Emma. 

“Maybe…he’s never mentioned him, he doesn’t talk much about his family…is he married?” 

“He used to be; Killian had an affair with Gold’s wife back when he was in the band,” Emma said, hesitantly.  

“Milah? Milah was Gold’s wife?” Ruby whispered loudly. 

“Yeah, crazy, right?” 

“No shit” Ruby leaned down the try to open the filing cabinet by the desk.  One drawer was locked, “Hey, you couldn’t help out with this by any chance?” 

Emma joined Ruby and made quick work of the lock; both women looked into the almost empty drawer, only one file lay at the bottom of it.  Emma reached in and opened it up, “It’s a property deed for a cabin in Milah’s name…somewhere upstate…in Saratoga…I wonder why this is under lock and key…” 

“We should probably call Killian and tell him…” 

Emma was lost in thought trying to figure out the connection to the cabin, though not lost enough to know that she wasn’t ready to talk to Killian yet.  She felt a small stab to her heart just at the thought of him. Would their marriage survive this? She longed to hold him, to tell him she’s sorry. “Yeah you do that…” her words drifted off as she looked around the room. 

Ruby shrugged and pulled out her phone, quickly finding Killian’s name. He picked up on the first ring. 

“Ruby! Is everything ok?” 

“Yeah, we’re fine, Killian, look, we’ve looked through Gold’s office, and the only thing he had locked up was a deed to a cabin in Milah’s name in…” 

“Saratoga” He finished for her. 

“Uh yeah…” 

Killian signed, “I’ve been there before back when…” 

“Right…well that’s all we found, any idea why he would have that locked up?” She quickly moved along feeling awkward. 

“I didn’t think Gold knew about it, I guess it must have come up after she died when they went through her will.” 

“Anyway, that’s all we’ve found here. Should we head back to the house?” 

“Sure…is Emma there?” 

“Oh yeah here I’ll put her on…oh wait, she’s left, I better go catch up, we’ll see you at the house.” 

“Right…tell Emma…” he sighed, “its ok, I’ll tell her myself when you get here.” 

“Ok, see you soon Killian!”

 

**

 

Killian looked at his phone after Ruby hung up; looking up Emma’s name his finger hovered over the call button.  He knew she was on her way back and he could tell her he was sorry in person, that he didn’t hate or blame her, but the thought of another minute going by without her hearing those words from him made him anxious.  He was just about to call her when his phone rang, August’s name flashed up on the screen. 

“August” 

“Killian…I managed to get a trace on Walsh’s cell” 

“You did? How the hell…?” 

“As I said before, better not to ask! So the last time it was used it was upstate in Saratoga…” 

Killian froze, the hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention. 

“Thanks August, I’ve got to go!” 

He rushed through into the living room where Elsa was glued to her phone looking for any sign of someone having seen Henry. 

“I’ve got to go, lass” 

Her head snapped up, “Go where?” 

“Upstate”

“Wait, what?” 

“They’ve traced Walsh’s phone to Saratoga, and I think I might know where he is, call the police and have them meet Emma and Ruby as soon as they arrive, tell them we think Henry is at Gold’s cabin in Saratoga…” 

“Who the hell is Gold?” 

“Emma knows! Just call the police; I can’t waste any more time, if Henry is there I need to go now!” 

He ran out of the apartment.

 

**

 

It was a drive he knew all too well; the dark mountains cast their gloomy glare at him as he drove faster than legal down the dark interstate. His headlights bounced off the trees casting eerie shadows on the empty road.  He knew it was coming, that place he’d avoided since that fateful day, the place etched on his mind, forever playing host to his nightmares.  He was never going to look away when he approached it, always feeling the need to punish himself for his past whenever the occasion arose.  There up ahead and then whizzing past him was the mile marker where they crashed; the very spot Milah breathed her last breath. Any other day he would have pulled over, wallowed in self-loathing reliving those final moments.  However today there was a more pressing need, Henry was in danger, he couldn’t save Milah but if there was any chance he could save Henry, any hope that they could come out of this hell as a family and go back to their home, Killian had to take it, Milah was gone, the time for walking down memory lane was over.  

A couple miles later he turned into the dirt driveway leading up to the cabin.  He parked half way up and jumped out of the car.  A dim light shone out from a crack in the dusty drawn curtains.  The forest was spookily silent around the house, the only sound Killian could hear was his own beating heart, Gold didn’t scare him, he never had, the man was a skulking coward at the best of times, but the thought of Henry being hurt or worse struck terror in his heart.. 

The steps leading to the house creaked under the weight of each footstep, he pulled out his phone to check in with the others only to remember one of the reasons Milah loved this hideaway, there was no phone reception this deep in the woods, complete solitude suddenly seemed less enticing. 

He didn’t hesitate, didn’t second guess himself or falter, he just simply pulled open the front door, the old wood screeched.  One step inside and Killian’s fears became reality. 

“Killian!” Henry gasped, he was sitting in a big armchair, his knees pulled to his chest defensively, shaking. Gold was sitting across from him in a matching chair, menacing and calm looking directly at Henry, not bothering to turn and face their new guest, gun in hand pointed directly at the boy.  

“One move Killian and I shoot.” 

“Gold, why? Why do you want to hurt the boy?” 

Gold sneered, “The boy? You think I don’t know he’s your son? Emma foolishly let that information slip with Walsh, makes you wonder what other secrets they shared, doesn’t it. Speaking of Emma, I had hoped she’d be the one here tonight, I left that big juicy clue for her in my office after all…well it’s not the revenge I was hoping for but I suppose it will do.” 

“Where is Walsh?” Killian demanded, ignoring Gold’s taunts. 

“Oh I got rid of him weeks ago, you know, you think you know a guy, he helps you form a master plan for revenge and then all of a sudden he bumps into an old flame and loses his nerve, well I couldn’t have him telling Emma any more so I had to silence him.” Gold smiled wickedly. 

Henry started to cry. 

“It’s ok Henry, I’m here now” Killian assured him, 

“Go ahead, lie to your son.” Gold cackled. 

“Your vendetta is with me, you lured me here with Henry now let him go!” Killian’s voice remained calm but firm. “Hurting him won’t bring Milah back” 

“You think this is about that slut?” Gold spluttered.  

Killian’s tightened, “If this isn’t about Milah then what?” 

“It’s about my son.” 

“Your son?” Killian’s head was spinning. Milah had never once mentioned a son in the time they’d been together. 

“Oh you didn’t know! You’re precious Milah left that out of her pillow talk did she, well she probably didn’t like to think about the fact that he was only a few years younger than you, then again she never did like being a mother, saw it as a burden. I practically raised the boy myself!” 

As much as Killian didn’t want to believe what he said about Milah, Gold’s face reflected that of a man telling the truth. 

“What does that have to do with Henry?” asked Killian, stealing a quick glance at the boy to give him a reassuring nod. Gold rose from his chair and walked towards Killian, much to his delight, if he could keep Gold talking, distract him long enough, perhaps Henry could escape at the very least.  The boy straightened up in his chair, having read enough adventure stories to know what Killian was doing. 

Gold continued, unaware, “My son was a bright boy, he was kind and sensitive, but I admit our home situation wasn’t great, his mother and I fought a lot and that paired with his mother’s neglect hardened him, he grew up too quickly, gave up a promising future in baseball and got mixed up with the wrong crowd, you’re ex-felon wife for one, their misadventures landing her in prison.” 

“That’s not how Emma tells it” Killian narrowed his eyes. 

“Well yes, I may have been able to help my son due to my…connections…Emma unfortunately was collateral damage…” 

“You bastard” Killian hissed. 

Gold smiled, well as fate would have it Emma was pregnant with my grandchild.  I don’t know how she managed to keep it secret but she should have known better than to try and hide it from me.  A mistake that resulted in her losing the child. By the time I found out they told me she had lost the baby, I always had my suspicious that the child had in fact survived, her foster parents worked in social care,, it would have been easy to care for him, especially when she got a job with the same agency. I waited years to see if she seemed to favour any child, to form a special connection, I sent Walsh to get close to her to help me but nothing came up, just when I was about to admit I was wrong young Henry came along. There is no mistaking her love for that boy, he was the right age, and I thought he must be my grandson.” 

“But he’s not” Killian whispered, aware of Henry listening to everything being said. “Emma did lose the baby in prison. She loves Henry…we love Henry because of who he is, not because we think he might be Emma’s biological son.  The bond is genuine but it has nothing to do with DNA.” 

“Yes I realised that today when I got the results back from a DNA test, he is not related to me in any way.” 

“Then why take him? Why did you kidnap our son?” Killian was still too far from Gold to tackle him; he’d taken steps backwards, perhaps tuned into Killian’s plan. 

“Because Neal died!” Gold blurted out.  “Cancer, it was aggressive, he died shortly after Emma was arrested.  I thought this child, my grandchild…well it was the only family I had left.  But turns out it had also died.  Everyone I loved had been taken from me, Cancer took Neal, Emma’s bad choices took my grandchild and you took my wife! I couldn’t let you and Emma live out your days as a happy family, the thought of it makes me sick” 

Gold’s face was contorted and grotesque, Killian could see his anger rising, Gold was enraged, manic, armed and had nothing to lose; he was a stick of dynamite almost at the end of its fuse.  Killian had to give Henry a chance to run, if he could direct Gold’s anger to himself then perhaps Henry could get his moment. 

“Milah was right about you! You’re just a weak, pathetic, little man who can’t help but push people away, oh how we used to have a good old laugh about you…” 

“Shut up!” 

“She told us how you struggled to perform…” 

“I said Shut up!” 

“Told the whole band about your small man syndrome…sorry you had so much to compensate for” 

“Shut your fucking mouth now!” 

“Or what?” 

Gold raised the gun pointing it at Killian’s chest, his plan had worked! That was until he saw movement from the corner of his eye, _“Go on Henry”_ he thought, _“run!”_

The woods were silent, abandoned by the birds, squirrels, and deer, as if the animals knew better than to be there that night.  Then suddenly there echoed the sound of a boy screaming followed by two gunshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...please don't scream at me! There are still at least two more chapters...a lot could happen...


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the penultimate chapter! *cue intense music*

It was as if the world was running in slow motion. From the moment Killian heard the first gunshot, his heart stopped at the sound of Henry's body slumping to the ground beside him. In the same second, before he could look at his son, he witnessed Gold turn his gun on himself and shoot, his miserable form folded up like a marionette being released from its strings. Killian immediately turned his attention to Henry, falling to his knees next to his lifeless form and the steady stream of blood pooling on the wooden floor.  

"Henry! No, no, no, no, Henry, you were supposed to run, why didn't you run?" 

He found the gunshot wound in his chest and quickly pulled the leather jacket from his back to put pressure on it while looking frantically around the room for anything that could help. He saw the cabin phone, an old plastic wall mounted unit with a spiral cord probably long enough to wrap around the perimeter of the house. He dove for it, banging out 911 on the old sticky buttons and running with the phone back to Henry to keep putting pressure on his wound. 

"911, what is your emergency?"

"My son has been shot! I need at ambulance at number 4 US highway 7, Saratoga...please come quick there's so much blood!"

 

**

 

Killian watched excruciatingly while the paramedics worked on Henry in the ambulance as they raced to the nearest hospital. He clung to Henry's stretcher while they ran wheeling him towards the operating theatre, the hospital staff all but had to pry his hands off the bars when Killian could go no further.  

"Sir you need to let him go, we'll do everything we can...trust us." One of the nurses pleaded with him.

He nodded, biting down on his lip, refusing to take his eyes off Henry until he was out of sight leaving Killian standing in the middle of a busy hospital waiting room. Moments later David, Mary Margaret, and Emma burst through the waiting room doors. 

"Where is he? Where is my son?" Emma called out to anyone who would listen, it was then her eyes fell on Killian and she ran towards him. He extended his arms and then jumped and she started pushing him and beating his chest with her fists. 

"How could you let this happen? You were supposed to keep him safe! This is your fault!" She was wailing uncontrollably, finally losing her strength and giving up her fight.  

"Emma". He reached out to touch her. 

"No! I just...I just can't...how could you let him get hurt...if anything happens to him..." she couldn't finish; bursting into tears she leaned into David’s arms. 

"Shhh Emma, it's going to be ok, I'm sure Killian did everything he could. Let's have a seat and wait for the doctors." Her foster father led her away to the corner of the room where she sat, bringing her knees to her chest, and watching the door to the operating theatre like a hawk. 

Killian looked at his wife with disparity. 

 "She doesn't mean it Killian" Mary Margaret spoke softly squeezing his arm. "She is scared for Henry...it's the shock." 

"I wish I could believe that." He replied. "I keep playing it over and over in my mind...was there something else I could have done, something else I should have done?" 

"Don't torture yourself, Henry needs you to be strong for him, Emma needs you..." 

He cast another melancholy glance at his wife stewing in the corner of the room.  

"Mr. Jones?" 

Killian turned to see detective Graham standing with another officer.  

"Detective" 

"I'm sorry to hear about your son, I'd like to talk to you about what happened in the cabin if that's ok?" 

Killian sighed, looking back at the theatre doors. 

"It's ok Killian, it will probably be a while, I'll come for you if anything happens" Mary Margaret assured him.  

"Aye, let's just get it over with, then" he glared at Graham then walked out of the waiting room leaving the detective to follow behind him.

 

**

 

After a gruelling hour long interview Killian anxiously returned only to find out from David that there had been no news on Henry. Emma still sat in the same spot, completely despondent. As soon as her eyes lifted to meet Killian's they darted away again, concentrating intently on a speck of dirt on the floor. His shoulders slumped in response. 

"Give her time" said David, gently, "she's scared, she always pushes the people she loves away when she's frightened." 

"She doesn't seem to be pushing you or Mary Margaret away" muttered Killian. 

"Be patient with her" encouraged his father-in-law. 

Time seemed to have lost all motivation to move, Emma had watched the round white plastic wall clock for so long she knew every scratch and smudge on it...the second hand captured her in its hypnotic dance, the tick of each passing moment sounding louder each time until it was almost deafening. Out of nowhere it all stopped as the theatre doors opened and the doctor emerged. Emma jumped to her feet along with the rest of the family and rushed to him.  

"I take it you're Henry's family?" The doctor asked. 

"I'm his mother" Emma blurred out, "this is his father and grandparents"  

Killian felt a twinge on his heart at her words, there was something bittersweet in his first time hearing Emma refer to him as Henry's father. 

"I see, well, I'm Dr Whale; I'm the doctor who led the operation. Henry had a gunshot wound to his chest. The bullet missed his heart but pierced his lung. We have managed to remove the bullet, stop the bleeding, and stabilise him but he lost a great deal of blood and the lack of oxygen reaching his brain has caused him to slip into a coma."  

Emma tried to process the information. "So what does that mean? Is he going to be ok?"  

Killian could feel his heart in his throat, searching the doctor’s face for any sign of hope. 

"It means he is stable for now, but we don't know if or when he will wake from his coma. We'll monitor it and keep you updated; it's just too early to tell. But you can see him now; I'd like to keep it to Henry's parents for the time being if that's alright." 

David put his arm around his wife's waist as the nodded understandingly. Emma and Killian followed Dr Whale to Henry's hospital room.  

Henry lay peacefully on the hospital bed, bathed in the warm light cast from the lamp on his bedside table. Emma watched his chest slowly rise and fall, whispering a silent prayer of thanks with each breath.  Killian’s eyes were immediately drawn to the numerous wires and tubes connected to Henry, following their trails back to the machinery around him humming steadily as it worked to keep him alive. 

“I’ll…um…give you guys a moment” said Dr Whale before stepping out the room, leaving the couple in silence staring at their broken son. 

Killian pulled over two chairs offering one to Emma, which she nodded in thanks and accepted without a word.  They sat next to Henry, Emma holding his hand and Killian resting his hand on their boy’s head. 

“I’m so sorry Emma”

“I can’t” she shook her head, “I can’t do this right now…” 

Killian stopped. She couldn’t even look at him and he felt his already cracked heart shatter. He couldn’t blame her reaction; Henry was in this situation because of him. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his keys, removing the front door key to their house from the key ring. 

“Here, love, stay at the house, its closer to the hospital.  I’ll stay in our city apartment and travel though each day…I know you need time…I…I understand.” He slid the key along Henry’s bed to where her hand gripped their son’s.  

Emma felt a strange mixture of sadness and relief at the arrangement with an underlying sense of guilt, deep down she knew she shouldn’t blame him for Henry’s situation but every time she looked at him a million questions ran through her mind as to how out of the two of them Henry was the one fighting for his life. She wasn’t brave enough or perhaps cruel enough to verbalize her questions but as long as they existed she couldn’t live under the same roof as her husband. She quietly accepted the key and placed it in her pocket, she knew she should say something but words evaded her.  Mercifully Dr Whale returned and interrupted the awkward silence.

“Unfortunately visiting hours are coming to an end, but one of you can stay here overnight with Henry if you wish, it is very unlikely we’ll see a change this soon and I’d recommend you both go home and try to get some rest in the evenings but I understand that, for the first night at least, you might not want him to be alone.” 

For the first time since Emma confessed her run in with Walsh she looked Killian directly in the eyes, her expression was enough to break his heart all over again, she was silently pleading with him to let her stay and he knew he could never refuse her.  

“It’s ok, Swan, you can stay tonight, I’ll be back first thing tomorrow.” 

She offered him a small smile and it seemed like some sort of progress, albeit small, was made. He leaned down and kissed Henry on the head then gave Emma a nod and a half smile. “Goodnight”

 

**

 

It wasn’t until the front door of their uptown apartment closed behind him that he allowed himself to finally give into his feelings as he slumped to the floor sobbing.  

When his body finally stopped convulsing with each breath inhaled between the tears he slowly stood back up, completely overcome with fatigue he staggered into the kitchen to pull a bottle of rum from the cupboard and then wander past his and Emma’s bedroom, there was no rest to be found there without Emma beside him, and down to Henry’s room.  Taking a swig from the bottle he let the amber liquid burn his throat, if only to draw attention momentarily away from the ache he felt in his soul. 

He stepped through Henry’s door, looking around the tidy bedroom.  He wasn’t sure if he went there seeking comfort or to punish himself but whichever it was he ended up curled in the foetal position on Henry’s single bed wallowing in self-loathing.

 

**

 

The next morning Killian showed up at the hospital to find Emma sleeping slumped over the side of Henry’s bed, still holding his hand.  He set the Starbucks he’d bought her on the table beside her and after casting one last look at the domestic scene he returned to the waiting room until she woke and he could change places with her. 

He didn't have to wait long before David showed up, coffee and bagel in hand.  

"Killian! How are you doing?" 

"As well as can be expected mate," he nodded at the refreshments he held, "I already brought Emma some breakfast..." 

"I expected no less," David grinned holding his offering out to Killian, "this is for you, figured you'd only think about Emma." 

"Thanks" muttered Killian, sheepishly accepting the paper bag.  

"Have you two spoken yet?" asked David. 

Killian simply shook his head; he brought his drink to his lips more as an excuse not to talk than because he was actually thirsty. Taking the hint David simply sat beside his son in law in silent support. Moments later Emma shuffled into the room sleepily.  

"Emma". David jumped to his feet, along with Killian. 

Emma hesitated when she saw her husband. "Hi...um...the Dr came by earlier, there's no change...could you..." 

"I'll stay until you return." Killian promised. He wanted to reach out to her, to offer her any comfort he could and perhaps receive some himself but her body language warned him off. She stood there arms folded tight around herself, avoiding his eye contact.  

"Thanks, I just don't want him to be alone." She admitted in a shaky whisper.  

"He won't be." Killian assured her and then with a half-smile and a nod she turned to leave, David followed firing a sympathetic look over his shoulder to Killian. 

Once he and Emma were in the truck driving to Emma and Killian's house he decided to brave the subject. 

"So I couldn't help but notice things are tense between you an-" 

"David, please!" She interrupted him. "Of course they're tense; Henry is fighting for his life!" 

"Exactly why you two need to be with each other! Anyone can see you're avoiding him, is this some kind of punishment?" 

"Enough!" 

 It was the first time she'd raised her voice at him since she was a rebellious teenager but she just couldn't talk about this, how could she make him understand what she was feeling; that every time she looked at Killian she was reminded that he was there, he acted rashly instead of waiting for the police and he could have been lying next to Henry in another hospital bed or worse! He'd put himself if danger potentially risking Henry too. Gold hated Killian; she was the bond that connected Killian to Henry, she introduced them, she allowed them to become family, this was on her. What if they'd both died, how could her heart recover from that magnitude of loss? She wished she'd never laid eyes on Killian Jones, wished she'd never opened her heart. 

David could see her mind running out of control so he took a breath and continued, "Emma you may blame Killian, hell, knowing you you're probably blaming yourself for this too! But Gold pulled the trigger, he's the one that attacked this family, don't let him do any more damage!"  

She squeezed her eyes shut but the tears still tricked out. "How could he go there alone?" She whispered. "How could he be so reckless?"  

"He made a decision under incredible pressure, his son was in danger; if I thought someone had taken you I wouldn't think twice I'd go straight to you!" 

Emma thought over her father's words trying to imagine what she would have done; trying to convince herself she would have told Killian but a small voice inside reminded her _"you didn't tell him about Walsh"._  

David pulled up to her house and she climbed out the car leaning back in before closing the door to say, "thanks for the ride home, I'll think about what you said, in the meantime can you just...you know, be there for a Killian? He's all alone."  

"Somehow I think he'd rather have you but yes, of course I can."  

"Thanks"

 

**

 

The week passed by much the same, Emma and Killian were like two ships passing in the night taking turns being with Henry, not a word spoken, and merely a polite and somewhat empathetic smile between them as they briefly crossed paths each day, both unaware of how the other longed to hear their voice just as much as they did.  

On Thursday Emma smiled properly for the first time since the accident. She'd arrived for her shift with Henry and had overheard Killian reading Treasure Island to their son, he was so animated in his narration he was practically acting out each scene. Emma stifled a laugh then knocked on the door giving a small wave to show she was ready to take over when he was done and then retreated to the waiting room. Killian's heart sank; secretly he had hoped she'd stay.  

The next day Killian was sitting with Henry when he was once again disrupted by a light knock on the door spinning round expecting Emma to be standing there his shoulders dropped when he saw it was just Mary Margaret. 

 "Do you mind if I join you?"  asked his mother in law. 

"Not at all, love, could use the company if I'm honest." Killian admitted.  

"It's a lonely thing, spending your days with someone who can't talk back"  

"Or with someone who won't" he added. 

 Mary Margaret smiled understandingly. "Emma loves you Killian." 

"And what has that brought her?" His eyes darkened "since being with me she's been stalked by Walsh, had her dirty laundry aired publicly, been criticised by my fans, every aspect of her life put under scrutiny, and now she's facing losing the person most precious to her, just because Gold hated me. I've brought nothing but heartache and suffering to her and Henry, if I was her I wouldn't speak to me either." He got out of his chair in frustration and paced the room, "I was an idiot to think this could work, people like me don't get happy endings...I thought things with Emma could be different, a fresh start for both of us but it was a bloody recipe for disaster from the start!"  

Mary Margaret allowed him to rant, she knew he'd been holding it all in so she listened kindly and didn't try to argue. Once he had finished she stood up and joined him looking out the window onto the hospital garden. The leaves were a spectacular kaleidoscope of orange, red, and yellow, a pair of robins chirped to each other taking turns diving down to the stone bird bath in the centre of the courtyard, splashing their feathers in the cool water. They watched them playing for a while and when she was satisfied he had cooled down Mary Margaret addressed him quietly and calmly.  

"Everything you said is true, all those things have happened because Emma met you...” Killian's jaw tensed and she continued, "...but you know what also happened? Emma has smiled more than I've ever seen her smile, she's opened herself up in a way that David and I were never able to get her to. We often wondered if she'd ever meet someone who could truly understand and love her, Walsh always disliked the walls she built around herself-"  

"I liked her walls..." Killian interrupted hoarsely, "I liked being the man to knock them down". 

She nodded, "you were, you still are that man."  

Killian scoffed. 

"You and Emma have the same problem, forgiveness. You need to forgive each other and forgive yourselves." 

"How?"  asked Killian.  

"Grace." She replied. 

He pondered her words, "You've given me a great deal to think about." 

"Go home and rest Killian, I'll wait here until Emma comes. By all means think over things but don't wait too long to fix this. You and Emma are better together, even if you both don't realise it at the moment."  

 He let his mother in law give him a hug then headed home, too tired to argue with her.

  

When he got back to his city apartment a delivery man was just arriving at the same time carrying bags of groceries.  

"Mr. Jones?" He asked. 

"Aye" 

"Delivery, if you could sign here please."  

Killian signed, his brows furrowing, "can I ask who ordered this?" 

The delivery man checked his notes, "ordered last night by a Mrs Emma Jones." 

"And you're sure they were to be sent here?" 

"This is the address we were given with instructions to leave with the doorman if no one was home."  

"Thanks" he muttered taking the paper bags in hand and pushing open his front door. While unpacking the food he tried not to read too much into the fact Emma must have been thinking of him, or that she cared enough to make sure he was eating, or that she'd bought the ingredients for his favourite meal, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Was it too much to hope that they could get through this? He thought back to Snow's words about forgiveness.  

He knew he had to try, eating could wait; he had to talk to Emma.

 

**

 

Emma sat watching her son, carefully moving the hair that had fallen into his face, she saw the copy of Treasure Island Killian had been reading but thought better of continuing it; she didn't want to intrude on their time together.  

She looked over the machines humming around him, the nurse had told her the other day what they all do and it had become a habit for her to check all their readings, the staff would know if something was wrong but it made her feel like she was being useful, like she was fulfilling her motherly duties somehow. After that she carefully straightened the books on his bedside table and rearranged the other chairs. "Can't believe I'm already tidying your room." She muttered and then sat back in her chair watching him, wishing for any sign of life. The Dr told them yesterday that Henry was still stable; all that was left to do now was monitor him until he woke up.  

"Emma"  

She froze, what was Killian doing here? She quickly gave him a questioning glance. He looked wrecked, his hair was dishevelled, a week without shaving had transformed his stubble into a beard, his eyes were bloodshot, and his face thinner and his clothes wrinkled but her heart still skipped a beat at the sight of him. She couldn't imagine what she must look like. Feeling the tide of anger, love, and guilt that always seemed to rise when she laid eyes on Killian she quickly looked away, back at Henry.  

"Emma, look at us. I barely recognise us from the chef and social worker that fate brought together that night at The Jolly Roger" 

She tensed, remembering that night brought back painful memories of Walsh. He pushed on, finding it easier to get this out while she wasn't looking at him.  

"Just please hear me out and then if you want I’ll leave. I tried...I tried to save him...I keep replaying that night, reliving every horrible second each time I close my eyes. If I could trade places with him I would in a heartbeat, because he doesn't deserve this- you don't deserve this! Perhaps then he could be here with you and at least you would have some comfort, someone to hold you...he'd love you and he'd find a way to make you smile like he always does...that would be enough for me. This wasn't what was supposed to happen, but I'm not going to ask you to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself." 

Emma spun round to face him. Looking at her imploringly Killian continued, "I don't pretend to know all the challenges we're going to face, Emma, it's going to take work to get us back to where we were but I'm not afraid...I know who I married, you don't need to say anything, just let me sit here beside you with Henry, let’s face this together as a family...that's all I ask."  

Emma opened her mouth to reply but before she could Detective Graham stepped into Henry's hospital room.  

"Mrs Jones, could I speak with you?" 

Killian sighed. Emma looked at him apologetically then followed Graham out of the room. 

Slumping into the empty chair Killian looked at his son, "well lad, how do you think that went?" He waited for an answer he knew he wouldn't receive "aye...probably could have gone better...sometimes I feel like my life with Emma could be measured in interrupted moments...but enough about me, what's your news?" 

After exhausting all possibilities for his one sided conversation, Killian decided to sit outside in the garden, he couldn't remember the last time he felt the sun on his skin and he didn't know for sure if Emma wanted to talk to him and he wasn't going to force her to by waiting for her in Henry's room, having said what he came to say, he'd stay for a while and then head back to the apartment.  

He wandered over to the fountain in the middle of the garden, the sound of the water instantly making him feel more at peace. He wasn't sure how long he stood there before the crunch of dry leaves sounded behind him.  

"Graham just came to tell me they found Walsh's body dumped in the forest." Her voice caressed his ears, it'd been so long since he'd heard it, and despite the macabre subject matter he longed to hear more of her.  

"Aye, I feared as much, from what Gold was blabbering before he killed himself." 

She was silent just long enough to make him worry that she'd left or at least changed her mind about talking, he was about to turn to her when she said, "I'm sorry...I should have told you about Walsh...it happened the day you had your panic attack with the studio executives and I didn't want to cause you any more distress. It's a shit excuse, I know, but it's true; you have every right to be mad at me." 

He took a step closer to her, he wanted to reach out but perhaps it was too soon for that. "I could never stay mad at you" he said softly. 

Emma swallowed and took another step closer, watching him carefully while she continued "he also told me what happened that night in the cabin. You tried to distract Gold so Henry could escape; you put yourself in the firing line to give him his best chance at freedom..." 

Killian shrugged, shaking his head, and replied " but it didn't work...Gold shot Henry...it should have been me, why didn't he run?" His breath hitched and all his composure abandoned him, Emma closed the distance between them, lovingly embracing him until his crying calmed into gentle sobs.  

"Henry loves you so much he chose to save you, he's read countless stories about heroes, it makes sense that he would try to be one when given the opportunity. You've been so fixed on blaming yourself you've overlooked the truth that on your first official day as Henry's dad you proved yourself to be exactly what a father should be. Your son was in danger and you didn't rest until you found him, you put his life before yours, facing death front on without a second thought. There was nothing more you could have done. I couldn't be more proud of you and Henry or more ashamed at myself for pushing you away." 

"You were scared for Henry, I completely understand." He kissed her head while they stood there in each other's arms. 

Back inside Henry's room David arrived to find Mary Margaret standing at the window looking out at the garden. Once he joined her he saw was she was watching, Killian and Emma holding each other.  

"They're finally speaking; it’s about time...what happened?" 

Mary Margaret smiled broadly, "they learned how to forgive"  

Outside in the garden Killian slowly released Emma so he could look at her.  

"Will you let me make you dinner tonight? He asked hesitantly. 

"I will" she nodded her head determinedly "visiting hours are almost over, we should go say good night to Henry first.” 

They walked back inside, hand in hand and that night after the first proper meal they’d both had in over a week they fell asleep holding each other, drifting off peacefully knowing that whatever happened they would face it together.


	24. Chapter 24

(5 Years Later)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a treat for you tonight, our guest is a Michelin star chef, a multiple Grammy award winning artist, restaurateur, New York Times bestselling author, and 2017's sexiest man of the year, now about to release his autobiography, 'Recipe for Disaster', we are joined tonight by Killian Jones!"  
The crowd erupted as Killian walked on stage; the host, Sidney Glass, stood to shake his hand and then signalled for him to take a seat on the couch. Killian gave the audience a wave and a shy grin. 

"What can I say? They love you Killian!" Sidney beamed.

Killian chuckled nervously, looking back to the audience smiling widely. "It feels very undeserved but thank you!"

"Not at all, not at all, let’s have a look at your credentials here, I actually can't believe you've waited this long to write an autobiography because you have had an incredible life already; at the age of 18 you were a member of a platinum record selling band, The Lost Boys, then a tragic accident ended that career and you could have just given up but instead you did something no one expected..."

"Yeah..." Killian grinned nervously.

"You went to culinary school and worked your way up to Michelin star level making a name for yourself in France and then moving to the U.S. to open arguably New York City’s most prestigious restaurant!" 

"Thanks Sidney, it all sounds very impressive when you say it like that but at the time I wasn't really thinking about it that way." Killian admitted.

"So what was the decision process to change career from melodies to menus?" 

"Ha, yes well I guess it does seem odd but at the time I could no longer play guitar since I lost my hand in the accident and after a few months of sinking deep into depression my manager, Leroy, talked me into trying something new, I'd always liked food and I was drawn to the creativity of it and the sense of control I felt constructing a dish. It was almost like therapy for me." 

Sidney picked up a copy of Killian's autobiography showing it to the audience and cameras. "One of the things that struck me reading this is how you've really fought for everything you have; you've suffered great losses along the way but you seem to have a knack for rising above your circumstances, you're quite the survivor. Where do you pull your strength from?" 

Killian rubbed behind his ear while he thought about his answer. "At first I guess it was a case of fight or flight and I have just always been the type to fight, I'm stubborn and pretty relentless. It really was just a case of survival...that changed when I met my wife. I know it sounds cheesy but my life had new meaning, a new purpose; I'd never met anyone like her before and her belief in me made me strong, it made me want to be the man she saw when she looked at me." He blushed as the audience 'awwwwed' talking about Emma in public was always difficult for him, he felt so protective of his family. "So I guess what I'm saying is that now I draw my strength from my family"

"Is it difficult balancing your personal and professional life? You have some very...how should I say this, passionate fans who are deeply invested in your personal life."

Killian chuckled again, "I love my fans, they're great and without them I wouldn't have achieved half the things I have, especially when it comes to my music career, I'm very grateful for them and 99% of the time they're wonderful, I've had a lot of really great experiences interacting with fans."

"But they have a history of being very opinionated about your love life" Sidney prodded. 

Killian thought for a moment, "Look, it can get a little awkward when fans confuse my personal and professional life, I've worked with incredible people, and some of them I've formed real friendships with but my wife, Emma...she's the love of my life." 

The crowd 'awwwed' once again. 

"You talk a bit in your book about the tragedies you've faced in your life, some while in the public eye; did that add more pressure to the situations?" 

Killian found himself regretting not putting more limits on what could and could not be asked in this interview. He knew Sidney was harmless and just trying to ask what would interest people but he couldn't help but feel like he was being scrutinised before the world, his private life lying open and exposed. Every time he remembered Henry laying there on the ground in a pool of blood his heart constricted. He and Emma had had countless discussions about whether or not they should speak publicly about Henry's attack finally deciding that since the police reports were public knowledge it would be better to face it head on then to stay silent and let rumours run rampant. They'd met with their lawyers and Leroy to decide which details to release and which to keep to themselves. Killian had insisted they keep Walsh, and Gold's suspicions that Henry could be Emma's biological son, out of it, not wanting Emma's past to be brought up again. Instead he requested focusing the attention on Gold's dislike of him because of his and Milah's affair since that was public knowledge anyway. Even though years had gone by Killian still found the whole ordeal difficult to talk about.

//

The screams cut through their dreams violently pulling them from their sleep.

“Henry!” Emma whispered while jumping out of bed and running down the hall to her son’s room. Killian was at her heels, his heart thumping while a tsunami of adrenaline crashed over him. “Not again” he thought to himself as he rushed to his son’s side.

Henry was thrashing around in his sleep, sweat pouring from his body and his face contorted in terror. It had happened multiple times since bringing Henry home from the hospital but the frequency didn’t make each episode any less terrifying. 

“Henry, we’re here son, its ok” Killian tried to reassure the boy whose eyes were still tightly shut.

“Henry, wake up, please kid, wake up” Emma begged while rubbing her hand on his back.

His eyes flew open “mom! Dad!”

“Shhh, we’re here lad, we’re right here” Killian soothed his son. Henry threw his arms around Emma and Killian wrapped his around them both. “You’re safe Henry; we’re not going to let anything happen to you again.”

He lay back down and was asleep again in seconds.   
“That’s the third time this week” Emma looked worryingly at her husband, “perhaps we should book more frequent appointments with Dr Hopper?”

“He said it would take time, Emma, and that we just need to be patient and be there for Henry when he needs extra comforting. He’s been through a lot, the physical therapy, his meetings with Dr Hopper and settling into his new home and family. We’ll get through this love, I promise.” He cupped her cheek in his palm, gently stroking her face with his thumb.

//

 

Killian looked at the audience and then took a deep breath and answered, "The thing is, when you are going through something like that you're so focused living in that terrible moment that you're very much unaware of what is going on in the world. I couldn't tell you anything that happened outside of those hospital walls during that month, and even for the months following when we brought Henry home, everything took a back seat to our family because at the time that was literally the only thing that mattered. And we were lucky to be in a position where we could drop everything else. I realise there are people every day facing horrible trials who have to put on a brave face and go to work or fulfil other responsibilities and I have a tremendous amount of respect for anyone in that situation."

Sidney nodded his head in agreement as Killian spoke.

"As far as the public response, it wasn't until after we brought Henry home and things started to settle down that we were aware of the huge outpouring of love and support and we were just really touched by it." 

"And how is Henry?" Sidney asked. 

"He's great!" Killian relaxed a bit now they were moving onto happier subjects. "He's the smartest lad and just amazes us every day." 

"And you've expanded your family as well, congratulations by the way."

Killian beamed, "Yes, we adopted our 18 month old daughter, Evie, and we were able to bring her home last week, she is just beautiful."

"That's wonderful and it also brings me to the next thing I want to talk to you about, you have opened a private High school and culinary school?" 

Killian straightened up in his seat, this was what he was really here for. "That's right, Sidney" he said, "my wife and I have opened a boarding school for kids in or leaving foster care with no families to go to or who are homeless. There is also a culinary academy they can chose to attend once they finish high school. It isn't grade dependant and tuition and room and board is free but the students all have jobs involving the upkeep of the property and they learn how to cook and other life skills too so that when they leave they are qualified to work in a restaurant so they have a means of income, social skills equipped to contribute to society so they have a sense of purpose, and lifelong friends and a support group so they always have people to turn to when life gets tough." 

"That's incredible, what led you to start this up?"

"I had a tough childhood myself and if it weren't for my manager Leroy personally investing in me there's no telling where I would have ended up. I feel passionately that no matter what hand you are dealt in life if you're a hard worker, and if you surround yourself with the right people you can rise above your circumstances and have a happy, fulfilling life. Every young person at my school has to put in the time and effort, nothing is handed to them on a silver platter, we're just there to assist and to give them the right tools to be the best people they can be."

**

@EllianTrueLove: ugh! Why does he have to talk about his boring wife! 

@ElsaKillianstan: @EllianTrueLove ikr! Just tell us when you're seeing Elsa next! 

@mrskillianjones: but seriously, how do I get myself in that school, can you imagine Killian being your teacher! Hello professor ;)

@ElsaArendelleLive: can't wait to perform at tonight's charity concert for the Jones Culinary Academy!

@therealKillianJones: @ElsaArendelleLive whoop whoop! 

@mrskillianjones: @therealKillianJones @ElsaArendelleLive Yes can't wait! Please post an Ellian selfie! It’s my birthday today!

@EllianTrueLove: OMG! Is Killian going to sing with her? 

@ElsaKillianStan: #blessed

@HeyElsa: @ElsaArendelleLive ILY! 

@killiansgf: @therealKillianJones marry me!

@enewslive: star studded line-up at Jones Culinary Academy charity concert; follow us on Instagram for all the gossip

@KilliansLover: I’M DEAD!

@therealKillianJones: @mrskillianjones Happy Birthday! 

@mrskillianjones: @therealKillianJones AHHXKCID 

**

Killian pulled up to the house in his black Audi R8, 48 hours in L.A. for interviews and promotion felt like an eternity. He was no stranger to traveling for work but with Evie so little and after only just welcoming her home leaving her was torture. Emma had FaceTimed twice a day so he could read to her, play peek-a-boo, and sing 'itsy bitsy spider'(her current favourite) but nothing compared to holding their little bundle in his arms. 

Stepping out of his car he could hear banging coming from behind the house. He followed the sound around the side of their home, surrounded by woods until he walked round to the back. The back yard had a gradual slope down to their own private beach on the lake, framed by the Adirondack Mountains he'd come to associate with home. The sun was low in the afternoon sky, bouncing blindingly off the glass-like surface of the water. Down on the beach he found his teenage son with a large rock in hand banging it against some wooden planks. A smile crept across Killian's face, what adventure was the lad involved in now? 

"I think it's safe to assume it's sorry for whatever it did to provoke your wrath." 

Henry's head shot up, "Dad! You're back." 

"Aye and just in time by the look of things, what the devil are you doing?" Killian nodded at the rock in Henry's hand. 

"Building a raft...or trying to..." 

Killian looked from the boy to the rock and then back to Henry. "You know we have tools in the shed, right?"

Henry shuffled on his feet "I wanted to do it as if I was stranded on an island..." 

"What if we were stranded together?" Killian offered, "I could help you make it,"

Henry scratched his head while he looked down at the pile of wood "I guess I could use some help...don't you have a big event tonight you need to get ready for?"

"I have a couple hours, doesn't take long to make me look handsome" he winked as Henry rolled his eyes at his father. "Just let me go say hi to your mom and sister and I'll be right back with some tools"

Henry folded his arms across his chest, "but that'll take forever! You never just say 'hi' to mom, you'll start kissing her and then you'll not stop and I won't see you for hours..." he rolled his eyes once more.

Killian cackled, giving his son a friendly pat on the back, "it's not my fault! I'm lucky enough to be married to the most incredible woman in all the realms; it'd be a crime not to kiss those lips as often as I can!"

"Ew, Dad!" 

"Ok, ok, one kiss for each of the lovely lasses in our family and then I'll be back to do manly stuff!" Killian teased. 

"Killian, you're home!" Emma called from the back door; she was holding Evie on her hip while the toddler waved frantically at him. His face lit up and he bounded up the steps and across the decking to them. 

"Remember, just one!" Henry shouted from the beach.

"What's that all about?" Emma asked, curling her arm around her husband’s waist and leaning in for a kiss. 

Killian hummed while pressing his lips against hers, relaxing as he breathed in her perfume and felt her nose nuzzle against his. He was home. He slowly pulled away and said "I'll make it up to you tonight" 

He could feel Evie squirming in Emma's arms, her little chubby arms reaching out for him. "Come here princess, where's Daddy's kiss?" He leaned in to kiss his daughter but instead she blew raspberries in his face, drenching him in drool much to Emma's amusement. 

"You told her to do that didn't you?" He accused his wife, who at that moment he was genuinely concerned was going to wet herself she was laughing so hard.

"No...honestly...I didn't" she managed between snorts. 

"That's enough you two" he pouted, "I'm going to go build a raft with my son and sail somewhere I can get a bit of respect" 

"Bon voyage" Emma giggled. 

**

She sat perched at her vanity concentrating on her reflection, her tongue sticking out slightly as she pinned the last few stray locks of hair in her up do for that night’s event. In the mirror she could see the bedroom door behind her opening and a drenched Killian staggering through. His clothes were so soaked they were like a second skin clinging to his body while his dark hair was plastered to his head, raining drops of water. 

“What the hell, Killian?” She spun around to face him.

“I’ll not be adding ‘raft builder’ to my resume anytime soon!” 

“Is Henry..?”

“He’s fine, love, I tested it first…it didn’t pass.” 

Emma stifled her giggles, then noticing him shaking she hurried over and started to help him peel off his wet clothes. 

He stood there silently letting her pull off his jacket, sweater, and then t-shirt while he watched her intensely. Her eyes met his and a blush immediately covered her cheeks as she looked up at him through her long eyelashes. 6 years together and he could still slay her with one look. A drop of water dripped from his hair, she followed its journey down his neck where that one vein pulsed, into the little dip under his Adam's apple, past his collarbone and soaking up in his dark chest hair. She bit her bottom lip and found his eyes again boring into hers. She reached down to unbuckle his belt, her gaze not leaving his.

"Emma...I missed you" 

There was something about his voice, his English accent low and gruff, he somehow sounded both lost and found at the same time and knowing she was doing this to him made her stomach churn in the most wonderfully torturous way. 

"You're here now" she said, not so innocently. How was it possible they were this desperate for each other after just 2 days apart? 

He gave a half smile, slightly relieved she'd unzipped his jeans, which were growing tighter by the second. "You look beautiful; I don't want to mess up your hair."

"I don't give a fuck about my hai-" 

He captured her in his kiss and every fibre of her body begged to never be set free. She grew weak as he devoured her, his fingers sinking into the small of her back so tightly she was pressed against his damp, firm body. He was just beginning to slide her robe from her shoulders when Ruby's voice called loud and clear from the other side of their bedroom door, "Killian, Leroy is here." 

"Bloody hell" he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. "We need to find him a woman." 

Emma licked her lips savouring their kiss then smiled sympathetically, "you go get a shower, I'll explain to Leroy and see you downstairs."

She started to turn away to the door but was stopped by his refusal to release her hand. 

"Killian?"

"I love you Emma Jones" 

"I love you too"

**

Emma stepped downstairs a few minutes later in a champagne coloured A Line O-Neck ankle length tulle dress with an embellished Swarovski crystal belt. 

"Wow mom, you look beautiful!" Henry exclaimed making all the eyes in the room look in her direc-tion. 

"Thanks kid" she nudged Henry with her elbow, trying to ignore the other gasps and murmurs in agreement with her son.

"Now don't worry about the kids, August and I have it covered!" Ruby called from the kitchen where she was trying to feed Evie with great difficulty. The toddler seemed more interested in painting the walls with her food than actually eating it. Emma chuckled at Ruby dodging a flying dollop of pink yogurt. 

"I'm not worried, and you guys need all the practice you can get" she winked.

"Easy there!" August blurted out, "I’ve only just made an honest woman of her" 

Emma cracked open a bottle of champagne and poured herself a glass. 

"Nervous?" Ruby always was the perceptive one..

"A little, there is a red carpet and press line and they are going to interview me...Killian is so good at answering questions, I find it all a bit overwhelming...last time they complained I didn't smile and that I looked like I didn't want to be there when I was just nervous! I'm not like you, Ruby; you're a natural in front of the camera."

"Well yes, it's true, cameras do love me" she teased. "But seriously, you'll do great, you look drop dead gorgeous and you will have the best accessory - your man candy! Just relax and be yourself, how could they not love you?"

"They'd have to be idiots not to" Killian joined them in the kitchen, walking over to stand by his wife "you're a vision Swan" he gently held her hand bringing it to his lips, keeping eye contact with her as he kissed it and simultaneously gave her a flirtatious wink. 

"Ok you two, there are children present you know!" Ruby teased while pushing them both towards the door, "have a wonderful time, we'll be fine."

**

Emma played with her hands on the drive there, trying to run every possible question she may be asked tonight through her mind and how she should answer them. She wondered how personal the questions would be, or would they just want to know about the school? She mentally recited all the stats just to make sure she knew her facts. 

"You'll do brilliantly, love" His voice pierced through her insecurities.

"I'm just ready to get it over with" she admitted. "You're so at ease with it all."

"I've been doing this for 20 years now Emma, there's nothing they can say that hasn't already been said, just be yourself." 

"What if I'm not enough?" 

Before he could respond the car pulled up at the concert hall. The camera flashes illuminated the red carpet which was a hive of activity and excitement. The driver came round to open Emma's door but before she could step outside Killian quickly grabbed her hand and her attention. 

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, and then you wouldn’t be nervous at all."

"Me too" she sighed, "but for now I just need to suck it up and go out there and face them." 

"I'll be right by your side, I will always, always, be by your side." 

His uncanny ability to say what she needed to hear never ceased to amaze her even after all these years. She flashed him an appreciative smile before stepping out to face her critics and interrogators. 

The noise outside the car was deafening but there was one name that stood out above the rest as it was called over and over. "Killian Jones" 

"Killian! Over here! Give us a smile"

"Where's that signature eyebrow Killian"

"Can we get a picture of you with your wife?"

"Who are you wearing?"

“Killian, look over here!”

After what seemed like a lifetime of getting pictures taken Emma moved with Killian to the press line; the part of the evening she had been dreading. The first few stops weren’t too bad, much to Emma’s relief, most of the questions so far had been directed at Killian and while he made sure to include her in his answers she was happy enough letting him do the talking; he was after all the face of their chari-ty, he was the one who needed to be front and centre attracting funding and celebrity endorsements while she worked behind the scenes overseeing the level of care the students received was up to scratch. 

They were nearing the end of the line when Emma tensed seeing the logo on the microphone of the last interviewer they came to. It was the news organisation, if you could call it that, who published the story about her past when she and Killian had not yet announced their relationship, even though Leroy and the lawyers had managed to get them to retract that particular article they’d had what seemed like a personal vendetta against Emma throughout the years posting questionable stories and being the main driving force of all the Killian and Elsa rumours over the years. There was nothing in Killian’s demeanour to suggest he was remotely affected by being around them, he was as charming and polite with Larry, the slanderous journalist, as he was with the others, and Emma tried to mimic his professionalism. 

“Killian, you must be really proud of this project, how does it feel to be here now for the official open-ing and celebrating in this way with all your friends in the music industry?” asked Larry, a large middle aged man with a chubby face and unnerving sinister grin. Killian recognised him immediately but didn’t allow his disdain for the man to distract him from doing what he came to do.

“It’s incredible, Larry, this has been a dream of my wife and I and to see it come to fruition is just amazing for us. To have so much support from our friends and brilliant people coming together to raise money tonight is just the cherry on the top. We feel really blessed.”

“You are an inspiration to so many young people out there; you’ve met a lot of talented successful people in your life; who inspires you?”

Killian wrapped his arm around Emma’s waist. “I’m lucky enough to wake up next to my inspiration every morning” He beamed at his wife. 

Larry, unimpressed with the picture of domestic marital bliss in front of him, turned to Emma for his next question, “So what is it like having your husband for a boss? He smirked. 

“um…well” She stammered. 

“We’re co-founders.” Killian interrupted. “She works with me, not for me, it’s a partnership in every way.”

He grunted, seemingly unconvinced by his answer, and then still focusing his attention on Emma asked, “Killian really found his fame again with his collaboration both on and off the stage with Elsa Arendelle, are you a fan of hers?” 

“I adore that album; so many wonderful things have come of their ‘collaboration’, as you put it, not least of all I have made a dear friend in Elsa.” 

Killian grinned smugly, proud of his wife’s answer, despite the obvious attempt to trip her up. If his tolerance of Larry was dwindling it all but vanished completely with his next attack on Emma.

“You’ve been called many things in the media and online by fans from gold-digger to criminal to fake or naïve, what would you say to your haters now?”

Killian was about ready to pounce on the troll when Emma held her hand out gently to stop him and looked squarely at Larry, smiling sweetly she replied. “Everyone will come across bullies in their life and for anyone facing negative criticism, personal attacks, for those listening who feel like no one believes in them, that the world is routing for them to fail I would say this; People are going to tell you who you are your whole life. You’ve just got to punch back and say “no, this is who I am”. 

Larry’s grotesque smile dropped into a frown as Emma’s response left him speechless. 

“Well if that’s all, my wife and I are going to move on inside” Killian couldn’t wipe the victorious smirk from his face as he gave Larry a wink and walked away with Emma. “Well that’s him put in his place” he whispered in her ear. 

**

Emma glanced at the faces around the room while Killian and Elsa preformed 'Horizon', 5 years on and it was still a crowd pleaser, every person present was swaying to the music, most singing along, and a few across the room had even risen from their seats and started dancing together, their unique moves indicating just how much of the complementary wine they'd been drinking and caused Emma to laugh out loud. She wished Ruby was here, her best friend was the queen of frivolity, she'd have them both dancing on the table in no time. 

Killian sang out the last note as the crowd exploded in applause and cheering. He blew a kiss to Emma then hugged Elsa before heading off stage. Next to the stage was Ed Sheeran, Emma cheered enthusi-astically when he introduced himself. She didn't believe Killian at first when he said he'd booked him and believed even less that Killian knew him! After days of disbelief she'd been unprepared for the unmistakable English accent on the other end of the phone when he called Killian confirming he could do the event. Her husband still teased her mercilessly for her reaction; the colour draining from her face and mouthing "oh my god" for the rest of that day. 

She watched him up on stage, her body swaying and foot tapping as he opened with 'Shape of You'.

"Could I have the honour of this dance?" a voice spoke from behind her.

The smile spread on her face and she spun around to see Killian’s hand outstretched. She squealed as he whisked her up and spun her around, pulling her in tight to him while he sang the lyrics in her ear. 

"You were amazing up there, Killian" She said as the song came to a close.

"You really thought so? I wasn't sure...you didn't throw any kickers on stage or anything..." he leaned in again to her ear, "or are you saving those for Mr Sheeran?" He teased. 

She licked her lips and then brought them close so they brushed his ear as she confessed "who says I'm wearing any" 

He body stiffened. "That's bad form Emma, tempting a man like that." He scolded as his eyes dropped to her lips. This was going to be a long night.

**  
Epilogue:

 

“So what’s the surprise? Where are we going for dinner?”

Emma shouted over the noise of all the city traffic, her golden curls cascading down her back as she stepped out of the car at the docks with her husband. It was a warm clear night in New York City with just enough humidity hanging in the air to make her thankful Killian had opted to drive instead of walking the 3 blocks from the restaurant. She could barely contain her excitement about their date night, Killian had been in Italy for three weeks doing a teacher exchange with a culinary school there while Massimo Bottura taught at their school. Emma had to stay because of Henry’s schooling and to keep the Jones Culinary Academy and Swan Lake High running smoothly. She knew Killian hated being away from home but he always made up for it when he returned. 

“So you want to know where we’re dining tonight, well this place is top notch, the most exclusive es-tablishment in the city to be exact!” he replied coyly.

“Does it have a name?” she smirked, she knew her husband well enough to know that as much as he was trying to be mysterious, inside he was bursting to tell her.

“Why, ‘The Jolly Roger’ of course!” He proclaimed proudly.

Emma’s face dropped and her steps slowed, “But we just came from your restaurant…” 

“Not the restaurant love” He looked practically giddy. She had no idea what was going on or why they were at different docks to where he kept his boat, or what they were doing at docks at all. “Look” he tilted his head back signalling behind him.

She looked past Killian’s manic grinning face, and seeing what he meant she let out an audible gasp. 

“Is that…” 

“Well no the real one is from a book…Captain Hook isn’t actually real, you know.”

“Are you sure? Because that looks exactly how I would have imagined…” 

“She’s pretty isn’t she? She’s called the ‘Lady Washington’ and she’d ours for the next few days.” 

“We’re staying there? Can you sail her?” Emma’s eyes hadn’t left the replica of the 18th century brig bobbing up and down on in the New York harbour.

“Can I sail her? Of course I can!” Killian scoffed, pretending to be offended by her question. “Ok, so it’s slightly different from my boat but I’ve had a few lessons and we won’t stray far, we’ll stay where the coast guard can easily reach us if needed.”

“Well that’s a relief” Emma rolled her eyes then grabbing his jacket and pulling him along said, “Come on Captain, let’s take her for a spin!”

**

That night they lay under the stars on a blanket Killian had pulled from a chest in the Captain’s Quar-ters. Two glasses, a bottle of rum, and some scattered plates lying beside them was the only remaining evidence of the picnic they’d just consumed. With full stomachs and fuzzy brains from the rum the two giggled together as Killian did his impression of Leroy all tongue tied at flustered when Emma intro-duced him to Nova, one of the councillors at Swan Lake High School.   
“That’s terrible” Emma snorted, “Nova really likes him too! I think this could lead to something.”

“I bloody hope so, maybe then we won’t have to worry about him interrupting all the…”   
Killian’s phone started ringing, Leroy’s name flashing on the screen. “Speak of the devil” He switched his phone onto silent and poured Emma some more rum. 

“So where are your fans saying you are right now?” Emma asked amused. She’d given up twitter once and for all when they brought Henry home from hospital and she saw some particularly nasty tweets about them but Killian still shared some of the crazier fan theories and rumours with her and they’d share a laugh over how wrong the fans got it.

“Well as of this morning the leading theory was that I’m in the Mediterranean on a nudist beach with Elsa for the week.” He shrugged.

Emma snorted her rum. “Sounds like wishful thinking! They just want to see you naked!”

“A privilege reserved only for you darling.” He winked.

“Scoundrel”

“I prefer dashing rapscallion”

She rose up onto all fours and started crawling seductively towards him then leaning over she pressed her lips against his, a low growl left his lips, “there’s the pirate I love.” She pulled back looking thoughtful. “You know, maybe you need to write another book…”

“Another one? I just finished the last one! And what pray tell should I call this new book?”

“Recipe for Happiness” 

He laughed.

“Think about it Killian, look at where we are, look at where we started and at what we’ve overcome, you grew up on the streets and instead of becoming another statistic you did something productive you taught yourself guitar and literally played yourself out of the gutter, then when life fought back, broke your heart and took your hand you didn’t stop fighting, you learned something else and ex-celled in that field and then gave the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to life by making a platinum selling album sans hand! The media saw us and saw we were happy and chose to attack that and we’ve only grown stronger for it, Gold tried to take our son and instead lost his life, I had the ability to have children ripped from me and yet here I am with two beautiful children of my own and hundreds more I get to watch grow up.”

Killian smiled at his wife, he couldn’t love her more if he tried. “Well when you put it like that love you’re right we are pretty damn amazing!” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “and what do you think I should write in this sequel?” 

“They persisted, and the lived happily ever after.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think as always lovlies! And if you liked this go have a read of my other fics and drop me a line, I feel like I'm going to miss you all terribly! 
> 
>  
> 
> I just wanted to address two frequently asked questions
> 
> 1\. I chose to make Henry not Emma's biological son because I thought there was something very beautiful about three orphans finding their home and their family in each other ( and then 4 when little Evie came along)
> 
> 2\. I chose not to have Emma "magically or miraculously" get pregnant because there are women out there who would love to have children and can't for various medical reasons and I wanted to show that you can be just as real a mother without having to actually give birth to a child. Some of the most wonderful mothers are adoptive ones and I wanted this fic to show that.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks again guys, you mean more to me than you could know!


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